IMAGE  EVALUATrON 
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CIHM/ICMH 

Microfiche 

Series. 


CIHM/ICMH 
Collection  de 
microfiches. 


Canadian  Institute  for  Historical  Microreproductions  Institut  Canadian  de  microreproductions  historiques 


1980 


Technical  and  Bibliographic  Notes/Notes  techniques  et  bibliographiques 


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D 


D 


D 
D 
D 
D 
D 

n 


Coloured  covers/ 
Couverture  de  couleur 


I      I    Covers  damaged/ 


Couverture  endommag^e 


Covers  restored  and/or  laminated/ 
Couverture  restaurde  et/ou  pellicul6e 


I      I    Cover  title  missing/ 


n 


Le  titre  de  couverture  manque 


Coloured  maps/ 

Cartes  gdographiques  en  couleur 


Coloured  ink  (i.e.  other  than  blue  or  black)/ 
Encre  de  couleur  (i.e.  autre  que  bleue  ou  noire) 


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0 


This  item  is  filmed  at  the  reduction  ratio  checked  below/ 

Ce  document  est  film6  au  taux  de  reduction  indiqu6  ci-dessous. 


10X 

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32X 


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d'impression  ou  d'illustration  et  en  terminant  par 
la  dernidre  page  qui  comporte  une  telle 
empreinte. 


The  last  recorded  frame  on  each  microfiche 
shall  contain  the  symbol  ^^  (meaning  "CON- 
TINUED"), or  the  symbol  V  (meaning  "END"), 
whichever  applies. 


Un  des  symboles  suivants  apparaftra  sur  la 
dernidre  image  de  cheque  microfiche,  selon  le 
cas:  le  symbole  — >»>  signifie  "A  SUIVRE",  le 
symbole  V  signifie  "FIN". 


Maps,  plates,  charts,  etc.,  may  be  filmed  at 
different  reduction  ratios.  Those  too  large  to  be 
entirely  included  in  one  exposure  are  filmed 
beginning  in  the  upper  left  hand  corner,  left  to 
right  and  top  to  bottom,  as  many  frames  as 
required.  The  following  diagrams  illustrate  the 
method: 


Les  cartes,  planches,  tableaux,  etc.,  peuvent  dtre 
film6s  A  des  taux  de  reduction  diffdrents. 
Lorsque  le  document  est  trop  grand  pour  dtre 
reproduit  en  un  seul  clich6,  il  est  filmd  d  partir 
de  Tangle  sup6rieur  gauche,  de  gauche  d  droite, 
et  de  haut  en  bas,  en  prenant  le  nombre 
d'images  n^cessaire.  Les  diagrammes  suivants 
illustrent  la  m^thode. 


1 

2 

3 

1 

2 

3 

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'2 
1 


TESTIMONIALS. 


The  following  testimonials,  as  to  the  attracti>  eness  and  real 
ralue  of  the  accompanying  work,  were  received  by  the 
Publishers  before  the  printed  sheets  were  placed  in  ihe  hands 
of  the  binder. 

From  Rev.  J.  E.  Goodrich,  Professor  of  Rhetoric  and  Ett' 
glish  Literature  and  of  Latin, 

University  of  Vermont,  March  19,  1874. 
I  have  read  the  Rev.  L,  N.  Beaudry's  MS.,  "Spiritual 
Struggles  of  a  Roman  Catholic,"  with  much  interest — an  in- 
terest which  increased  as  the  narrative  advanced.  The  work 
is  well  adapted  not  only  to  enlighten  the  Protestant  as  to  the 
substance  and  methods  of  Romanism,  but  also  to  help  h  m  to 
appreciate  the  religious  convictions  and  mental  and  moral 
strivings  of  his  fellow-Christians  of  the  Roman  Catholic  faith. 
To  the  Roman  Catholic  also,  who  may  read  it,  it  cannot  but 
prove  an  easy  and  agreeable  introduction  to  the  simplicity  and 
freedom  of  the  Gospel,  as  taught  in  the  Reformed  Churches. 
The  volume  would  be  a  desirable  addition  to  the  Sunday- 
school  library.  The  structure  of  the  work,  consisting,  as  it 
does,  of  a  series  of  conversations,  seems  to  commend  it  spe- 
cially to  the  perusal  of  the  young. 

From  Rev.  E.  Wentworth,  Editor  "  Ladies'  Repository'* 

The  "  Spiritual  Struggles  of  a  Roman  Catholic,"  by  the 
Rev.  Louis  N.  Beaudry,  of  the  Troy  Conference,  is  just  the 
thing  I  have  been  long  looking  for  from  Mr.  Beaudry's  pen. 
I  have  known  him  intimately  in  Conference  relation  for  sev- 
eral years  ;  have  heard  portions,  here  and  there,  of  his  intensely 
interesting  personal  history,  and  have  felt  that  he  ought  to 
write  it  out  for  the  benefit  of  the  world.     This  task  he  has  at 


H 


Testimonials. 


last  accomplished  in  most  fascinating  style,  a  style  that  cannot 
fail  to  be  attractive  to  readers  of  all  classes.  Coming,  as  his 
personal  experiences  and  revelations  do,  immediately  at  the 
heels  of  the  Gladstone  controversy  in  England,  they  cannot 
fail  to  shed  floods  of  light  upon  the  Roman  question.  His  is 
no  testimony  fished  up  from  the  minds  of  the  past,  but  we 
have  before  us  living  witness  to  the  peculiarities  of  Rome 
against  which  our  fathers  protested  three  centuries  ago,  against 
which  old-world  statesmen  and  governments  are  protesting 
with  emphasis  to-day,  and  against  which  it  is  the  duty  of  every 
lover  of  freedom  in  thought,  government,  and  religion,  and 
every  lover  of  his  country,  morality,  and  human  progress,  still 
to  protest,  till  the  "  Man  of  Sin  "  be  dethroned  and  destroyed. 

From  Rev.  Joseph  Cook. 

Your  book  dazzles  me  by  the  ingenuity  of  its  plan.  The 
narrative  is  developed  with  dramatic  skill,  and  draws  one  on 
irresistibly.  Even  the  argumentative  portions  appear  to  me 
likely  to  command  attention  from  your  younger,  and  they 
certainly  will  delight  your  older,  readers.  You  will  be  sure 
to  be  read,  and,  I  hope,  translated.  In  French,  German,  and 
especially  in  Italian,  this  book  would  do  good. 

Next  in  merit  to  the  plan  is,  in  my  opinion,  the  style.  I 
do  not  mean  to  flatter  when  I  say,  I  admire  exceedingly  its 
clearness,  precision,  ease,  and  grace. 

From  Rev.  Joseph  E.  King,  D.D. 

Having  been  permitted  to  read  from  advanced  sheets  the 
•'  Spiritual  Struggles  of  a  Roman  Catholic,"  by  Rev.  Louis  N. 
Beaudry,  I  am  prepared  to  say  that  this  little  volume  should 
be  in  every  Sunday-school  in  the  entire  Protestant  Church. 

Its  plot  is  ingenious,  its  statement  of  facts  and  doctrine 
discreet  and  lucid,  its  argument  free  from  extravagance  and 
bigotry,  its  spirit  admirably  charitable ;  and  the  reader  is 
drawn  on  from  chapter  to  chapter  with  increasing  fascination 
of  interest  to  the  end,  and  then  regrets  there  is  not  another 
volume  of  it. 

In  the  war  of  evangelical  Christianity  with  papal  corrup- 


Tkstimoniai.s. 


iK 


tions,  the  press  has  as  yet  issued  no  such  telling  "  hand-gre- 
nade" as  this  volume. 

Put  into  the  hands  of  a  bewildered  Catholic  at  that  critical 
moment  when  he  is  mortified  with  the  discovery  that  the 
morals  of  Protestants  are  superior  to  those  of  any  Catholic 
of  his  acquaintance,  it  may  be  expected  to  work  the  miracle 
of  disenchanting  him  of  his  blind  bigotry.  From  that  time 
we  shall  find  him  accessible  to  Gospel  truth.  I  trust  the  book 
may  be  blessed  to  many  thousands. 

From  Rev.  Washington  Frothingham. 

I  have  read  this  volume  with  intense  interest.  Its  merits 
are  rare  and  peculiar.  It  differs  from  every  thing  in  previous 
existence.  Protestants  generally  take  an  external  view  of 
Romanism.  This  is  a  revelation  of  its  errors  and  dangers 
from  the  inside.  No  Romanist  can  refute  its  statements. 
The  personal  narrative  is  one  of  striking  character.  Its  hon- 
esty of  purpose  is  transparent.  Its  style  is  fresh.  Its  chief 
claim  rests  upon  its  absolute  truth,  and  this  it  possesses  to 
such  a  degree  as  to  deserve  a  place  among  the  best  reading 
of  the  age. 

From  Rev.  James  M.  King,  D.D.,  Pastor  of  St.  Johns 
M.  E.  Churchy  New  York  City. 

I  have  read  the  advance  sheets  of  the  book  published  by 
Nelson  &  Phillips,  entitled  "  Spiritual  Struggles  of  a  Roman 
Catholic,"  by  Rev.  L.  N.  Beaudry.  I  have  been  greatly 
interested  and  instructed.  The  book  is  written  in  a  conver- 
sational style.  It  deals  kindly  with  the  deluded,  and  puts 
facts  in  such  form  as  to  lead  by  convincing  the  judgment. 
The  writer  has  had  such  rare  personal  experience,  and  such 
cogent  reasons  for  study,  that  his  utterances  have  a  right  to 
be  considered  authoritative.  It  is  a  luxury  to  find  a  converted 
Romanist  dealing  with  the  deceived  followers  of  Romanism 
with  a  charity  that  wins,  instead  of  with  a  severity  that  repels. 
Good  service  will  be  done  for  Christianity  if  Mr.  Beaudry's 
book  shall  have  an  extensive  circulation. 


*w*i? 


■.fi'-v':'*- 


Testimonials. 


From  Rev.  Martin  E.  Cady,  A.M.,  Principal  of  Troy 

Conference  Academy, 
I  have  very  carefully  examined  the  proof-sheets  of  Rev. 
Louis  N.  Beaudry's  new  book,  entitled  "  Spiritual  Struggles." 
It  is  the  experience  of  one  stniggling  out  of  Romanism  into 
Protestantism.  The  candor  with  which  the  author  deals  with 
Romanism  will  commend  this  volume  to  every  truth-loving 
person. 

The  plan  of  the  book  is  very  happily  conceived,  presenting 
the  narrative  and  the  arguments,  if  they  may  be  called  such, 
in  the  form  of  familiar  conversation.  It  is  to  be  hoped  that 
the  book  may  have  a  wide  circulation,  especially  in  Roman 
Catholic  communities,  for  it  cannot  fail  of  accomplishing  a 
good  work. 


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SPIRITUAL  STRUGGLES 


ow 


A  ROMAN  catholic: 


AN  AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL  SKETCH. 


By  LOUIS  N.  BEAUDRY, 

Author  of  "Army  and  Prison  Exi-erienck  wmi  uik   Fifth  New 

VouK  Cavalry." 


WITH  AN  INTRODUCTION'  BY  REV.  B  HAWLhi,  DD. 


"Now  rest,  my  long-divided  heart; 

F'ix'd  on  this  blissful  center,  rest ; 
Nor  ever  from  thy  Lord  depart : 

With  him  of  every  good  possess'd." 

DOUURIDGB. 


-♦•♦- 


NEW  YORK : 
NELSON     &      PHILLIPJS 

CINCINNATI:  IIITCHCCKK  &  WALDEN. 
1075. 


2-34-02. 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congresi4,  in  tlie  year  187",  by 

NELSON  iSc  PHILLIPS, 
in  the  Oflice  of  tlie  Lil  rarian  of  Congress  at  Washington. 


m 


TO    MY    OLD    SCHOOL-MATE, 
REV.  JOSEPH  COOK, 

THROUGH  WHOSE  INSTRUMENTALITY  I  WAS  FIRST  BROUGHT 
IN  CONTACT  WITH  THE  SIMPLE  WORD  OF  TRUTH, 

AND  TO 

REV.    BENJAMIN   POMEROY, 

BY  WHOSE  EVANGELISTIC  LABORS   I  WAS   FINALLY  LED  TO 
•        THE  HAPPY   EXPEPJENCE  OF  SAVING   FAITH 
IN   THE  SURE  PROMISE, 

Ws  Volumt  is  most  affutionahlj  Unsttihtls. 

LOUIS  N.  BEAUDRY. 


r  /\ 


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T  X  T  R  ODUGTIOI^ 


■♦•» 


'■I 


OF  the  many  subjects  now  agitating  the  minds 
of  the  people  in  all  Christian  and  civilized 
countries,  none  possesses  a  more  weighty  interest 
than  that  of  Romanism  in  its  relations  to  the  civil 
and  religious  conditions  of  society.  Every-where 
and  always  the  same,  it  seems  now,  as  ever,  antag- 
onistic to  the  largest  persona/  liberty,  as  also  to  the 
highest  degree  of  intelligence  and  purity  of  a  com- 
munity. Not  less  opposed  is  it  to  any  clear  con- 
victions of  personal  7-esponsibility  to  God  and  a  f:Ood 
government.  These  are  facts  that  are  now  well 
and  widely  known.  Christianly  enlightened  ccm- 
munities  and  States  are  somewhat  awake  to  the  in, 
and  are  more  or  less  active  in  securing  relief  from 
them.  Scholarly  and  popular  writers  are  flooding 
the  world  with  light  on  these  subjects.  Volumes 
are  written  and  libraries  are  enriched  by  expos- 
ures and  histories  of  what  seems  to  us  a  danger- 
ous error.  Every  new  phase  of  the  system,  as 
civilization  and  Christianity  advance,  is  being  put 
in  its  true  light.  Of  these  things  there  may  be, 
thus  far,  little  or  no  lack  of  information.  But 
there  is  another  aspect  in  which  the  animus,  the 
geni'i.s,  and  the  workings  of  Romanism,  may  be 
seen.  Though  there  are  now  and  then  defections 
from  nominal  Christianity  to  papacy,  there  are 
also,  and  in  greater  numbers,  converts  from  Roman- 


8 


Introduction. 


ism  to  vital  Christianity.  And  of  these  there  have 
been  thus  far  but  few  readable  developments  in 
an  attractive  or  permanent  form.  The  transition 
in  any  such  case  is  always  great.  The  struggles 
to  emerge  from  traditional  errors  and  religious  su- 
perstitions are,  for  reasons  obvious  to  all  who  have 
studied  the  genius  of  papal  teachings  and  errors, 
not  unfrequently  severe,  and  even  heroic.  And 
any  one  who  has  passed  through  them,  and  has  the 
power  and  the  will  to  detail  them  in  an  attractive 
form,  meets  by  so  doing  a  desideratum. 

Such  a  book,  not  cumbersome,  not  dull,  nor 
written  in  the  ordinary  style  of  history,  or  even  of 
narrative,  but  one  that  traces  out  delicately  and 
carefully  the  workings  of  the  soul  in  its  religious 
transition,  is  needed.  Families  in  which  Romish 
domestics  are  employed  need  such  a  book  written 
from  the  stand-point  of  experience.  Young  people 
who  see  and  are  favorably  impressed  by  the  high- 
er intelligence  and  purer  morality  of  Protestant 
Christianity,  as  also  of  Christian  countries,  aad 
especially  those  who  desire  to  read  the  holy 
Scriptures  that  they  may  know  for  themselves  the 
truth  as  it  is  in  Jesus,  need  such  a  booV.  But 
where  shall  they  find  it }  Volumes,  purporting  to 
be  narratives  of  personal  experience  and  revela- 
tions of  Catholic  atrocities,  there  are  in  sufficient 
numbers ;  but  the  style  and  spirit  in  which  they  are 
commonly  written  preclude  their  wide  circulation, 
or,  if  circulated,  prevent  any  wide  usefulness. 

Having  had  the  privilege  of  reading,  with  much 


Zi*L23EiE3iS  jsl 


Introduction. 


9 


care  and  pleasure,  a  volume  in  manuscript  enti- 
tled *'  Spiritual  Struggles,"  written  by  Rev.  Louis 
N.  Beaudry,  «  convert  from  Romanism,  and  for 
many  years  an  intelligent,  pious,  and  useful  Chris- 
tian minister,  which  seems  to  me  well  calculated 
to  be  popular  and  useful,  and,  indeed,  to  meet  a 
felt  want  in  the  Church,  I  am  pleased  to  com- 
mend it  to  the  reading  public.  It  is  not  only,  as 
it  purports,  an  autobiography — which  all  who  know 
the  writer  will  esteem  to  be  of  itself  a  commenda- 
tion— but  it  gives  in  a  series  of  conversations,  and, 
therefore,  in  familiar  style,  the  struggles  of  others 
who  were  participants  in  the  family  seances^  and 
who  by  these  means  were  gradually,  intelligently, 
and  religiously  led  to  freedom  in  Christ. 

The  several  chapters  seem  to  me  to  sustain 
throughout  a  natural  and  philosophical  relation  to 
each  other ;  and  though  the  autobiography  in  fact 
does  not  clearly  appear,  as  is  usual,  in  the  first 
few  pages,  yet  the  writer  is  all  the  while  the  cen- 
tral person,  giving  character  and  direction  to  the 
conversations.  Drawn  out  in  due  time  to  give  his 
own  experience,  he  proceeds  to  do  so  without 
marring  the  familiar  style  of  the  work.  The  plan 
of  arrangement  is  unique,  simple,  artistic,  and 
gradually  revealing,  so  as  to  keep  the  reader  on 
the  qui  vive  of  interest  and  expectancy  up  to  the 
point  where  the  narrative  of  personal  experience 
begins,  and  that  is  harmoniously  continued  with 
the  freshness  of  romance  to  the  very  close,  when 
'*  rest  is  found,  rest  to  the  weary  soul." 


■*^ 


10 


Introduction. 


Much  of  the  beauty  and  attractiveness  of  the 
volume  lies  in  the  very  natural  and  easy  manner 
in  which  is  shown  how  the  writer,  and  some  of 
those  associated  with  him  in  the  seances^  were 
led  by  the  truth  and  the  Spirit  of  God  out  of  the 
doubts  and  errors  in  which  they  had  been  educated 
.0  a  clear  experience  and  appreciation  of  justifica- 
tion through  faith.  And  so  precious  did  their  ex- 
perience become,  that  each  and  all,  young  and  old, 
vvere  led  to  an  entire  renunciation  of  the  tradi- 
tions of  men,  and  to  a  full  embrace  of  the  truths 
of  the  Gospel. 

Readers  of  the  volume  will  see  how  other  per- 
sons in  similar  conditions  of  error  may  be  led  to 
a  like  precious  faith. 

The  practical  lessons  for  all  who  would  be,  in  a 
similar  way,  instrumental  in  leading  the  erring  to 
Christ,  that  are  gathered  from  the  book,  are,  that 
kindness,  tenderness,  a  spirit  of  concession,  an  ac- 
cording to  others  all  that  truth  and  justice  will 
allow,  and  an  admission  that  all  truth  is  exclusive- 
ly with  no  one  sect,  accompanied  by  a  disposition 
to  reason  together,  will  go  far  to  do  away  prejudice 
and  to  win  souls  to  Jesus. 

Because  of  these  and  other  considerations  I 
cheerfully  and  strongly  commend  the  book  to  the 
reading  public.  In  many  respects  it  is  suited  to 
juvenile  readers,  and  will  be  a  welcome  volume  in 
the  libraries  of  Sunday-schools  and  of  families. 

BosTWiCK  Hawley. 


OOFTESTTS. 


« 
Chapter  Pj^q„ 

I.  A   Righteous   Plea — Luella — Scene  in  my 
Study i-j 

II.  My  Childhood  :  Its  Incidents  and  Lessons 

— Difficulties 40 

III.  The  Church's  Pillars  of  Strength— Nora.  .     59 

IV.  Pillars  of  Strength — Debate 75 

V.  To  Whom  shall  I  Confess  my  Sins?— Mon- 
sieur G , q5 

VI.  The    Confessional  :    Its    Power— Nora    in 

Trouble jj2 

VII.  The  Confessional  :  its  Influence  on  Priest 

and  People— "  Professor  "  W 131 

VIII.  Great  Struggles  and  False  Refuges--The 

Scapular j .- 

IX.  Providential   Means    of     Relief— Leaving 

Home,  etc j- j 

X.  Perplexity— Persecution— Church-going.  . .  188 

XI.  The  Bible  :  In  Home  and  School igg 

XII.  Alarmed— " Blind  Peter"— My  Mother....  213 

XIII.  Study  and  Transition— The  Virgin  Mary- 

Purgatory 225 

XIV.  Danger  and  Rescue— Infidelity  :  Its  Cure.  .  248 
XV.  Resting  at  Last— The  Altar— Saving  Faith.  263 


r 


m'-''am.S(m;¥^-0K'vm^)iiv^''''- 


SPIRITUAL  STRUGGLES 


OP 


A    EOMAN     CATHOLIC. 


♦•» 


I. 

A   RIGHTEOUS    PLEA — LUELLA — SCENE    IN    MY 

STUDY. 

"  Come  now,  let  us  reason  together." — Isaiah. 

IT  was  a  lovely  Sabbath  afternoon  early  in  the 
autumn  of  1871.  I  had  just  returned  to  the 
parsonage  from  an  interesting  session  of  our  Sun- 
day-school, where  I  had  been  making  a  few  re- 
marks, contrasting  the  privileges  of  the  children 
before  me  with  my  own,  when  I  was  a  child.  I 
was  now  seated  in  an  easy  chair  in  my  study  ab- 
sorbed in  pensive  reveries. 

"  The  melancholy  days  had  come, 
The  saddest  of  the  year." 

The  cricket  was  just  beginning  his  solemn  chirp- 
ings in  the  walls  around  me,  and  directly  before 
my  window  the  leaves  of  the  drooping  elms  gave 


14 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


evident  signs  of  decay  and  approaching  winter. 
Here  and  there  among  the  leaves  were  irregular 
openings,  through  which,  like  rifts  in  the  clouds 
revealing  the  blue  sky  beyond,  I  could  distinctly 
see  the  placid  bosom  of  the  noble  Hudson,  now 
beautifully  emblematic  of  a  soul  peacefully  resting 
by  faith  in  the  promises  of  the  world's  Redeemer. 
But  while  I  looked  and  pondered,  a  steamer,  ply- 
ing between  two  neighboring  cities,  laden  with  her 
crowd  of  pleasure-seekers  and  Sabbath-breakers, 
disturbed  the  glassy  surface  of  the  stream,  and 
interrupted  the  pleasing  flow  of  my  meditations. 

Just  then  two  loving  arms  were  thrown  around 
my  neck,  and,  as  I  slightly  turned  my  head,  a 
sweet  kiss  was  bestowed  upon  my  lips.  It  was 
Luella,  my  eldest  child,  now  almost  a  young  lady, 
who,  seeing  my  study  door  ajar,  had  softly  tripped 
in  on  tiptoe  behind  me,  to  surprise  me  with  her 
caresses.  Seating  herself  in  her  camp-chair  by  my 
side,  and  looking  up  inquiringly  into  my  face,  she 
remarked : 

"  Why,  father,  we  were  not  a  little  astonished 
to-day  at  your  telling  us  that  you  were  nineteen 
years  old  when  you  first  went  into  one  of  our  Sun- 
day-schools !  For  my  part,  I  should  like  to  know 
the  reason  why  you  did  not  begin  to  attend  Sun- 
day-school  as    young   as   we   did,"  meaning,    of 


'^W^' 


'flniA-'-.'.«(«rl'(!'»1»»-''" 


A  Righteous  Plea. 


15 


my 
she 


course,  herself,  her  brother  Johnnie,  and  her  little 
sister  Mary. 

"  Now,  Luella,  I  suppose  that  you  have  already 
learned  the  answer  to  your  question,  at  least  in  a 
general  way ;  which  is,  that  I  was  educated  in  the 
faith  of  the  Roman  Catholic  Church.  But  I  per- 
ceive by  the  tone  of  your  question,  and  the  deep 
solicitude  expressed  in  your  countenance,  that  you 
are  anxious  to  learn  t\\Q  particulars  of  my  peculiar 
and  eventful  life,  especially  during  its  earlier 
years." 

"  You  have  guessed  it  exactly,  father  ;  but  I  did 
not  know  that  I  could  express  so  much  by  a  mere 
accent,  or  a  look  of  my  face  and  eyes." 

"You  have  many  things  yet  to  learn,  my  child. 
I  hope  your  teachers  may  themselves  be  so  well 
instructed  as  not  only  to  be  able  to  satisfy  the 
natural  inquisitiveness  of  your  mind,  and  to  de- 
velop all  its  latent  faculties,  but  also  so  evangelical 
in  spirit  as  to  lead  you  into  that  beautiful  Chris- 
tian experience,  the  beginning  and  progress  of 
which  may  be  at  least  intimated  by  the  simple 
words  :  penitence,  pardon,  peace,  purity,  pmaer.'* 

"  O,  greatly  as  I  desire  to  know  more  and  more 
of  the  ways  of  God,  I  am  very  glad  to  be  able  to 
tell  you  that  I  think  I  know  something  of  these 
subjects   already,   dear    father."      Rising   as   she 


i6 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


iM 


.( 


spoke,  she  again  warmly  threw  her  arms  around 
me,  and  sobbed  on  my  bosom,  while  I  pressed  her 
closely  to  my  heart,  praising  God  for  the  saving 
mercies  which  were  so  freely  bestowed  on  myself 
and  family.  At  length,  after  wiping  away  my  tears 
of  joy,  as  also  her  own,  she  resumed  her  seat,  and 
I  continued : — 

"  For  several  reasons,  Luella,  I  am  glad  this 
subject  of  my  religious  struggles  has  come  up  to- 
day. In  the  first  place,  it  gives  me  a  good  oppor- 
tunity to  say  with  the  royal  psalmist,  '  Come  and 
hear,  all  ye  that  fear  God,  and  I  will  declare  what 
he  hath  done  for  my  soul.'  And  again,  like  the 
man  whom  Jesus  had  saved,  I  may  go  home  to 
my  friends  and  tell  them  how  great  things  the 
Lord  hath  done  for  me,  and  hath  had  compassion 
on  me.  I  trust,  too,  that  I  may  be  impelled  and 
controlled  by  the  disposition  enjoined  by  the 
Apostle  Peter  upon  his  brethren,  to  *  be  ready 
always  to  give  an  answer  to  every  man  that  ask- 
eth  you,  a  reason  of  the  hope  that  is  in  you,  with 
meekness  and  fear.' 

"  I  suppose  you  are  aware  that  this  question  of 
Romanism  is  just  now  awakening  a  deep  solici- 
tude in  the  popular  mind  of  every  civilized  nation, 
and  especially  of  our  own.  It  is  being  u'scussed 
on  the  platform,  in  the  pulpit,  and  by  the  press. 


t 


«St«n(,«n,fi6-.  WV9«^'',»«''><»"!»*^""  • 


A  Righteous  Pica. 


17 


ion  of 

Isolici- 

^ation, 

tussed 

press. 


from  nearly  every  stand-point  possible,  and  not 
seldom  by  those  who  are  ignorant  of  its  principles 
and  spirit,  and  who  in  not  a  few  cases  evince 
(juite  other  than  Christian  sentiments.  As  to  my- 
self, I  am  conscious  of  no  feelings  of  hostility 
toward  any  man  or  class  of  men.  I  know,  too, 
that  *  hard  words  ore  like  hailstones  in  summer, 
beating  dc >'n  and  destroying  .vhat  they  would 
nourish  were  they  melted  into  drops.'  So,  in  speak- 
ing to  you  or  to  others  on  this  subject,  my  only 
motive  is  to  do  good  and  to  advance  the  cause  of 
truth ;  and  in  this  case  I  can  speak,  as  you  know, 
from  the  depths  of  experience,  of  the  things  which 
I  have  seen  and  known. 

"  You  have  often  heard  me  express  a  strong 
desire  to  get  Catholics  and  Protestants  to  hear  and 
read  with  candor  one  another's  views,  or,  were  it 
possible,  to  reason  together,  assured  that,  would 
they  do  so,  much  of  the  misunderstanding  be- 
tween them  would  soon  cease,  political  animosi- 
ties would  be  removed,  religious  courtesies  would 
be  freely  exchanged,  and  no  cont-ention  would  ex- 
ist among  us,  save  that  noble  rivalry,  or  rather 
emulation,  to  see  who  can  best  wo*"^-  and  best 
agree.  All  men  would  feel  better  pleased  with 
themselves  and  those  around  them  if  only  they 
were  better  acquainted  with  each  other.    How  im- 


r  ; 


1    ' 


I 


I 


S       'I 


!    t 


i8 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


portant,  too,  in  a  land  like  ours,  especially  where 
the  population  is  made  up  of  all  nationalities,  with 
all  degrees  of  intellectual,  social,  and  moral  de- 
velopment, with  all  shades  of  political  and  relig- 
ious creeds,  that  men  should  meet  and  consult 
with  one  another,  fov  in  this  way  only  shall  we 
learn  that  no  mai  is  'jither  wholly  right  or  wholly 
wrong;  and  under  the  force  of  such  a  conviction 
the  truth  will  be  sought  and  found,  and  we  may 
here  witness  the  fulfillment  of  Isaiah's  beautiful 
prophecy,  '  The  Avolf  also  shall  dwell  with  the 
lamb,  and  the  leopard  shall  lie  down  with  the  kid ; 
and  the  calf  and  the  young  lion  and  the  fatling 
together;  and  a  little  child  shall  lead  them,'  even 
the  holy  child  Jesus. 

"  Now,  toward  the  achievement  of  such  a  grand 
and  glorious  realization  I  have  many  years  been 
desirous  of  contributing  my  mite  of  influence  ; 
and  for  a  long  time,  and  especially  of  late,  have  I 
seriously  thought  of  writing  a  book,  by  means  of 
which  I  might  help  to  bring  my  Catholic  and 
Protestant  friends  and  fellow-citizens  face  to  face, 
as  it  were,  to  discuss  in  a  friendly  and  Christian 
spirit  the  matters  which  have  kept  them  so  long 
and  so  widely  at  variance.  And  this  I  can  do  in 
answering  your  question.  Really,  I  begin  to  feel 
as  if  this  subject  had  come  up  between  us  to-day, 


^ftW*'.*  I"  v.<yW' •nmiitri'-Ai^' ■ 


A  Righteous  Plea. 


19 


where 
;,  with 
■al  de- 

relig- 
onsult 
all  we 
wholly 
t^iction 
e  may 
lautiful 
th  the 
le  kid ; 

fat  ling 
[,'  even 

L  grand 

s  been 

liience  ; 

have  I 

leans  of 

ic    and 

o  face, 
liristian 

o  long 
do  in 

to  feel 

to-day, 


Luella,  just  in  time  to  stimulate  me  to  undertake 
this  work,  and  to  assist  me  in  its  prosecution." 

"  Well,  well,  I  had  no  idea  of  putting  in  mo- 
i\r'\  such  a  train  of  events  when  I  asked  you  my 
question." 

"  I  told  you  before,  that  there  is  much  yet  for 
you  to  learn.  But  how  would  you  like  to  have 
our  private  conversation  made  the  subject  of  a 
public  chronicle  .-*  " 

''  Why,  indeed,  you  make  my  head  whirl  by 
your  surprises  !  You  don't  mean  to  have  printed 
in  a  book  what  we  are  now  talking  about,  so  that 
every  body  may  read  it,  do  you  }  " 

"Would  you  object .>" 

"  I  scarcely  know  what  to  answer,  you  take  me 
so  off  my  guard." 

"  Well,  no  matter  now.  I  have  a  new  proposi- 
tion to  make  right  here." 

"  Another  surprise,  I  suppose  !  " 

"  Perhaps  so,  but  it  is  simply  this : — that  you  run 
down  stairs  and  call  in  the  rest  of  the  children,  for 
you  know  they  are  very  fond  of  hearing  us  tell 
stories,  and  I  think  this  one  is  not  above  their  ca- 
pacity. Invite  your  mother  and  Aunt  Melie  also, 
if  they  think  that  baby  Charlie  will  not  disturb  us 
with  his  crowing  or  crying." 

"  Shall  I  not  ask  Nora  to  come  in  too  ?  " 


i  II 


I  I 


20 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


II 


I 

;  i 


lit, 


-i,'! 


i  f   ';i 


"  I  think  not  now,  for  she  might  take  it  as  an 
offense,  or  'a  bit  of  persecution,'  as  she  would 
call  it." 

Nora  was  a  sincere  Catholic,  born  in  this  coun- 
try of  Irish  parents;  but  she  was  not  an  ordinary 
servant  girl.  Her  father,  once  a  wealthy  merchant, 
had  spared  no  pains  nor  expense  in  her  domes- 
tic and  general  education.  But  bankruptcy  had 
brought  the  family  to  want.  Being  naturally  of 
an  independent  and  somewhat  peculiar  disposition, 
she  had  strangely  chosen  her  portion  in  house- 
hold duties.  Her  contact,  for  a  few  months,  with 
the  general  class  of  kitchen-maids,  had  given  her 
their  characteristic  and  distinctive  dialect  and 
manneis.  Thio,  however,  was  only  when  she 
seemed  to  forget  herself;  for  she  was  capable  of 
filling  the  place  of  a  cultured  lady.  Though  but 
a  short  time  in  our  family,  we  had  all  become 
much  attached  to  her  and  she  to  us. 

This  proposition  just  suited  Luella,  and  away 
she  glided  like  a  bird.  It  did  not  take  her  long  to 
inform  the  family  of  the  interesting  juncture  of  af- 
fairs in  the  study,  and  soon  I  heard  the  rapid  foot- 
falls of  the  children  on  the  stairs,  followed  by  tlie 
mother  and  the  aunt.  Meanwhile  I  had  brought  in 
chairs  from  the  adjoining  rooms  to  accommodate 
them    all,  and   presently    the    place   became    the 


•.w««r./*i(ifi(|\Aiii'>vvw  "<»»"'"*'''■" 


A  RigJitcous  Plea. 


21 


as  an 
would 

coun- 
dinary 
chant, 
lomes- 
:y  had 
ally  of 
isition, 
house- 
s,  with 
en  her 
t  and 
n  she 
ible  of 
gh  but 
ecome 

away 
on^  to 

of  af- 
foot- 

)y  the 

ght  in 
lodate 
jc   the 


scene  of  life  and  interest.  Even  the  baby  seemed 
to  enjoy  it  greatly. 

In  a  few  words  the  object  of  our  interview  was 
explained,  and  then  I  suggested  that  in  accord- 
ance with  my  usual  custom,  taken  from  that  of  the 
Christians  of  old,  we  ought  to  begin  this  inter- 
esting subject  with  religious  devotions;  for  St. 
Paul  writes  to  Timothy,  "  I  exhort,  therefore,  that 
first  of  all,  supplications,  prayers,  intercessions, 
and  giving  of  thanks  be  made /<:;/'  all  7nen"  We 
then  knelt  together,  and  repeated  slowly  and  sol- 
emnly, in  concert,  the  prayer  of  prayers,  namely, 
"  Our  Father  which  art  in  heaven.  Hallowed  be  thy 
name.  Thy  kingdom  come.  Thy  will  be  done  in 
earth  as  it  is  in  heaven.  Give  us  this  day  our 
daily  bread.  And  forgive  us  our  trespasses  as  we 
forgive  them  that  trespass  against  us.  And  lead 
us  not.  into  temptation,  but  deliver  us  from  evil. 
For  thine  is  the  kingdom,  and  the  power,  and  the 
glory,  forever.     Amen." 

On  resuming  our  seats,  Mary  remarked,  "Why, 
father,  this  is  what  we  say  together  every  morning 
at  the  time  of  prayers." 

"Yes,  my  dear;  it  is  the  Lord's  prayer,  and 
it  is  in  the  spirit  of  this  prayer  that  we  must 
feel  and  act  through  all  the  day  and  in  all 
things ;  and  we  have  said  it  now  that  we  may  be 


H 


22 


Spiritual   Struggles. 


Pi 


ii  I 


ii 


especially  guided  by  the  Lord  in  what  we  are 
about  to  say." 

Then  addressing  myself  to  the  whole  company, 
I  remarked,  that  as  certain  classes  even  of  hea- 
thens were  accustomed  to  take  their  children  out 
immediately  after  birth,  and  turn  their  faces  to- 
ward the  open  sky,  that  their  first  impressions 
might  be  of  heaven  and  of  grandeur,  so  I  desired 
that  my  children  in  their  earliest  years  should  be 
taught  God's  holy,  saving  truth,  that  they  might 
learn  to  think  and  feel  properly  to'vard  all  man- 
kind, and  act  accordingly.  Indeed,  the  great 
Teacher  said,  that  the  duty  of  every  Christian 
is  comprehended  in  these  two  commandments, 
"  Thou  shalt  love  the  Lord  thy  God  with  all  thy 
heart,  and  thy  neighbor  as  thyself." 

"  Now,"  I  continued,  "  I  am  aware  that  it  is 
very  natural  that  two  religious  sects  as  distinct  as 
are  Catholics  and  Protestants  in  their  manner  of 
life  and  modes  of  worship  should  misunderstand 
each  other,  especially  when  a  long  history  of  an- 
tagonisms, sometimes  more  or  less  bloody,  urges 
them  to  further  animosities.  But  while  their 
views  on  certain  controverted  subjects  are  dia- 
metrically opposed,  there  are  many  others  in  which 
they  perfectly  agree — and  these  are  vital  subjects 
— though  other  matters  of  difference  lie  within  de- 


% 


A  Righteous  Plea. 


23 


urges 


batable  ground,  and  yet  are  such  as  they  might 
be  made  to  agree  in  by  reasoning  together.  You 
will  probably  understand  me  better  when  I  bring 
before  you  some  of  these  latter  subjects.  P'or  in- 
stance, it  is  no  uncommon  thing  to  hear  a  Prot- 
estant charging  a  Catholic  with  being  insincere  in 
his  profession  of  what  he  calls  '  his  faith.'  " 

"  Insincere ! "  almost  shouted  two  or  three 
voices. 

"How  can  they  be  sincere,"  inquired  Luella, 
"  and  believe  such  things  as  are  generally  report- 
ed of  them,  and  even  affirmed  in  their  own 
books }  " 

"  Now,  now,  children;  this  is  very  much  like 
what  I  feared  of  you.  You  have  not  received  this 
spirit  from  me,  however;  and  I  am  glad  of  the  op- 
portunity of  removing  this  prejudice  and,  I  sus- 
pect, other  similar  ones,  from  your  minds.  I  as- 
sure you  that  710  class  of  people  are  more  sincere  in 
their  beliefs.  The  facts  which  I  can  adduce  to  es- 
tablish the  truthfulness  of  this  statement  are  very 
numerous.  Look  first  at  the  devotion  of  Catholic 
parents  in  teaching  their  children  the  doctrines  and 
practices  of  the  '  Holy  Alother  Church,'  as  they 
call  her.  No  sect,  either  religious  or  otherwise, 
takes  more  pains  to  indoctrinate  the  young.  Their 
children,  generally  when  only  a  few  days  old,  are 


!        '     I 


I 


■'     III 


I  i  I 

i  I    i     '111 


I   » 


\i. 


il^  \\ 


ilil     I 


24 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


taken  to  their  churches  and  baptized.  They  are 
then  considered  members  of  the  Church.  As 
soon  as  they  are  able  to  speak  they  are  taught  to 
repeat  the  prayers  of  the  Church  and  the  Cate- 
chism, whicli  contains  their  doctrines.  This  is 
done  with  untiring  industry  and  generally  with 
great  solemnity.  When  they  are  sufficiently  grown 
up  they  are  sent  to  the  schools  of  the  Church, 
which  are  always  in  the  hands  of  nuns  or  '  sisters,' 
or  of  others  who  devote  all  their  time  and  energy 
to  this  work." 

"  But  would  you  recommend  these  schools  or 
convents  as  proper  places  to  send  our  children  for 
instruction  ? "  asked  Mrs.  B.  with  considerable 
feeling. 

"  I  have  not  said  any  thing  of  the  kind ;  nor 
have  I  time  now  to  say  just  what  I  think  about 
these  institutions;  but  at  the  same  time  I  am  con- 
vinced that  by  these  and  other  means  Romanism 
is  doing  vastly  more  for  her  children  in  her  way 
than  is  Protestantism." 

"  Indeed,  father,"  said  Johnnie,  his  dark  eye 
flashing  with  emotion,  "  '^-nd  were  you  not  a  Prot- 
estant when  you  had  us  baptized  ?  and  are  you 
not  constantly  teaching  us  in  the  Sunday-school 
and  at  home  the  Catechism  and  the  Discipline  of 
our  Church  ?  " 


i 


A  Righteous  Plea. 


25 


"Certainly;  but  this  practice  is  not  as  general 
among  Protestants  as  among  Catliolics." 

"  But  are  net  our  Sunday-schools  doing  as 
much  for  us  as  Catholics  are  doing  for  their  chil- 
dren ?  " 

"Only  in  part,  my  child;  and  yet  many  parents 
among  us  leave  the  religious  training  of  their  cliil- 
dren  wholly  to.  the  Sunday-school.  But  you  must 
remember  that  the  family  circle  is  before  the  Sun- 
day-school, not  only  in  point  of  time,  but  also  of 
imi)ortance.  The  parent  is  the  child's  first  and 
most  influential  teacher.  You  ought  to  know 
what  a  little  boy  once  said  when  some  one  was 
contradicting  him  about  a  certain  doctrine." 

"What  was  it.''"  Johnnie  quickly  asked. 

"  O,  simply  this  :  he  clinched  his  argument  by 
saying,  '  It's  true,  for  ma  says  so  ;  and  if  ma  says  so, 
it's  so  if  it  aintso.'  Now  this  labor  of  Catholic  par- 
ents for  their  children  proves  their  sincerity." 

"I  see  the  point  and  acknowledge  the  force  of 
tlie  argument,"  said  Luella,  "  and  I  see  it  is  doing 
us  good  to  reason  thus  together." 

"  Let  us  reason,  then,  a  little  further.  JVitness 
the  fidelity  of  Catholics  to  the  rules  and  devotions  of 
their  Church.  They  fast  often  and  much.  They 
keep  every  year  a  forty  days'  Lent,  in  imitation, 
as  they  say,  of  Christ's  forty  days'  fast  in  the  wil- 


I 


f  '.^1 


1% 


III: 


t'l 


I 


■II' 


'1  I 


26 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


derness  of  Judea,  and  in  commemoration  of  his 
passion  ;  and  because  the  Church  ordains  it  they 
abstain  from  all  *  flesh  meats '  on  Fridays — it  used 
to  be  on  Fridays  and  Saturdays  also." 

"Well,  this  is  not  a  little  curious,"  interrupted 
Aunt  Melic,  "  that  such  an  ordinance  was  ever 
altered  in  a  Church  which  professes  to  never 
change." 

*'  That  makes  me  think,"  added  Luella,  "  of  their 
Church  motto,  which  I  read  in  one  of  their  books. 
It  is  '  Semper  eade??i,'  which  means,  as  I  found  by 
my  Latin  lexicon,  '  Always  the  same.'  " 

"  I  am  glad  to  see  that  you  remember  so  well  what 
you  read,  and  that  you  are  learning  your  Latin 
lessons  so  thoroughly  ;  but  I  have  not  time  now  to 
explain  these  changes  to  you,  for  I  fear  we  shall 
lose  the  thread  of  my  argument.  I  must  continue 
to  give  you  the  proofs  of  their  sincerity.  See  hoiv 
strict  they  are  in  attending  the  services  of  their 
Church.  On  the  Sabbath  they  are  up  early  and 
away  to  church,  though  many  of  them  have  much 
to  do  and  far  to  go,  and  you  can  hear  the  tramp- 
incf  of  their  feet  on  the  walks  while  most  other 
people  are  asleep  in  their  beds.  Their  churches 
are  crowded  at  nearly  every  service,  and  a  marked 
degree  of  devotion  is  observable  in  most  of  the 
worshipers.     I  well  remember  when  myself,  with 


A  Righteous  Pica. 


of  his 
it  they 
it  used 

rupted 

LS  ever 

never 

3f  their 

books. 

ind  by 

;11  what 
Latin 
now  to 
e  shall 
)ntinue 
^ee  hoiv 
f  their 
•\y  and 
:  much 
tramp- 
other 
urches 
larked 
of  the 
f,  with 


my  brothers  and  other  Catholic  friends  of  tlic 
neighborhood  used  to  go  to  church  nine  miles 
afoot,  through  heat  and  cold,  through  mud  and 
dust,  because  we  felt  that  it  was  our  duty.  Was 
that  no  sign  of  sincerity.'*  We  certainly  showed 
our  faith  by  our  works." 

"  Surely,"  responded  Mrs.  B.,  "such  examples 
of  devotion  ought  to  put  to  shame  the  many  de- 
lintjuents  in  our  different  Protestant  denomina- 
tions, and  should  provoke  them  to  love  and  to 
good  works." 

"  But  are  they  not  thus  attentive  to  external  du- 
ties," asked  Aunt  Melie,  "  because  they  are  taught 
to  expect  the  salvation  of  their  souls  through  such 
means  }  " 

"You  must  judge  for  yourself  when  I  have  pre- 
sented to  you  other  facts  bearing  upon  this  sub- 
ject. But  I  have  not  finished  my  argument  in 
vindication  of  their  sincerity.  I  wish  to  give  you 
at  least  another  illustration  of  it.  It  is  found  in 
their  strong  attachment  to  the  Church  of  their  fathers. 
When  T  was  nineteen  years  of  age,  just  before  the 
event  of  my  first  going  to  a  Sunday-school — a  mat- 
ter referred  to  in  Luella's  introductory  question  to 
me  to-day — had  any  man  stepped  up  to  me,  and, 
presenting  a  pistol  to  my  head,  said,  '  You  must  be 
a  Protestant  now  or  I  will  take  your  life,'  I  would 


yr^ 


28 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


!  :ii 


Hi 

i  i   i' 


if 


■       ! 

«     i 

■      ■      j 

t 
\ 

\ 

1 

! 

• 

( 
( 
j 

! 

■'1 

IL-^ 

ll 

have  rei)lied  without  any  hesitation  or  evasion 
whatever,  *  Take  my  life,  sir,  but  my  integrity 
never.'  Martyrdom  would  have  been  cheerfully 
accepted  rather  than  separation  from  the  Church. 
And  thousands  of  Catholics,  I  am  sure,  feel  just  as 
I  did  then." 

"  I  see  clearly  that  you  were  more  to  be  pitied 
than  blamed,"  said  Johnnie  ;  adding  with  emplia- 
sis,  "  and  I'm  sure  we  will  never  charge  Catholics 
again  with  the  sin  of  insincerity." 

"  But  may  not  this  attachment  to  the  Church, 
which  is  generally  commendable,  go  so  far  at  times 
at  least  as  to  become  sinful  and  hurtful  ?  "  asked 
Mrs.  B. 

"  Undoubtedly ;  for  men  may  be  sincere  in  an 
error,  and  we  ought  to  prefer  truth  before  party  or 
sect,  and  be  attached  to  a  Church  only  so  far  as 
it  teaches  and  practices  the  truth  as  it  is  in  Jesus. 
The  great  Apostle  Paul  wrote  to  his  Corinthian 
brethren,  '  Be  ye  followers  of  me,  even  as  I  also 
am  of  Christ,'  showing  that  he  was  to  be  followed 
only  as\i^  followed  Christ,  and  not  otherwise.  But 
then  the  masses  of  the  people  have  very  little  in- 
clination— if,  indeed,  they  are  not  wanting  in  time 
and  ability — to  search  out  the  truth  for  themselves, 
and  they  therefore  become  as  strongly  attached  to 
what  they  are  told  is  truth,  as  the  truly  studious 


A  RigJitcoHS  Plea. 


29 


evasion 
integrity 
leerfully 
Church. 
1  just  as 

)e  pitied 

empha- 

latholics 

Church, 
at  times 
"  asked 

re  in  an 

party  or 

o  far  as 

Q  Jesus. 

rinthian 

3  I  also 

ollowed 

e.    But 

ittle  in- 

in  time 

[iselves, 

ched  to 

tudious 


do  to  the  truth  itself.  And  you  may  be  sure  that 
no  external  or  physical  force  will  ever  change  their 
belief  or  convert  their  souls.  *  Faith  cometh  by 
hearing,  and  hearing  by  the  word  of  God.'  " 

"  The  fault,  then,  must  be  in  their  priests,"  said 
Aunt  Melie,  "and,  judging  them  by  a  sample 
which  came  under  my  own  observation  once,  I 
have  always  believed  them  insincere  and  hypo- 
critical." 

"That  is  undoubtedly  true  of  some  of  them, 
but  I  will  show  you  that  it  is  not  true  of  all.  Your 
suspicions  will  fall  to  the  ground  when  I  produce 
even  but  a  few  facts  of  history.  Their  extensive 
missionary  labors  alone  refute  the  charge.  Look, 
too,  at  their  great  Church  enterprises ;  their  labo- 
rious and  successful  educational  efforts — success- 
ful, at  least,  from  their  own  point  of  view — and 
their  vast  charitable  institutions  for  the  aged,  the 
vagrant,  the  orphan,  and  the  poor." 

"  But  does  not  their  system  of  religion  produce^ 
at  least  in  part,  the  poverty  and  wretchedness 
which  these  institutions  are  designed  to  relieve .'' 
Is  not  this,  to  use  an  old  proverb,  '  robbing  Peter 
to  pay  Paul .? '  " 

"  That  may  all  be  true ;  and  yet  it  does  not  dis- 
jirove  their  sincerity,  for  many  of  them  have  suf- 
fered even  martyrdom  for  their  faith." 


rr 


p 


30 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


II  lit 


W 


':V      1 


lljl 
Ht   . 


I      1 


"  I  cannot  yet  see  how  this  can  be,"  she  con- 
tinued. 

"You  will  have  no  difficulty  in  seeing  it  when 
you  trace  out  the  leading  facts  of  their  education 
and  training  from  childhood  to  priesthood.  They 
are  first  consecrated  to  this  one  object  of  life  ; 
then  nurtured  in  the  teachings  and  discipline  of 
the  Church ;  put  into  the  schools  under  the  absolute 
control  of  the  *  brothers  '  and  '  fathers  ;'  kept  from 
all  contact  with  the  active  outside  world;  forbid- 
den to  study,  or  even  read,  any  book  which  could 
possibly  prejudice  their  minds  against  the  Church 
or  any  of  her  interpretations,  as  you  can  see  by  con- 
sulting the  Index  Librorum  Prohibitoncm  et  Expur- 
gandorumy 

"  O  what  do  you  mean  by  these  long  words  ?  " 
inquired  Johnnie. 

Taking  down  my  large  Webster's  Dictionary, 
and  handing  it  to  Luella,  I  told  her  to  look  for 
the  word  ''''  Index ^''  under  which  she  read  as  fol- 
lows: "In  the  Roman  Catholic  Church  the  Index 
Prohibitory  is  a  catalogue  of  books  which  are  for- 
bidden to  be  read ;  the  Index  Expurgatory  is  a 
catalogue  specifying  passages  in  books  which  are 
to  be  expunged  or  altered.  These  catalogues  are 
published,  with  additions,  from  time  to  time,  under 
the  sanction  of  the  Pope." 


A  Righteous  Plea. 


31 


he  con- 


t  when 

•^m. 

uration 

■% 

They 

of  life  ; 

line   of 

absolute 

pt  from 

fori)  id - 

• 

h  could 

• 

Church 

by  con- 

Expuy- 

ords  ?  " 

^ 

1 

ionary, 

)ok   for 

as   fol- 

ft 
•1 

; Index 

ire  for- 

'■I 

'V   is  a 

ch  are 

"i: 

les  are 

'1 

,  under 

Returning  the  dictionary  to  the  table  I  re- 
marked, "  The  spirit  which  animates  their  educa- 
tion and  controls  it  may  be  seen  in  an  address  re- 
cently made  by  the  Roman  Pontiff  himself  to  the 
students  of  one  of  the  i)apal  colleges.  Here  is  one 
of  the  emphatic  sentences  :  *  Let  us  hasten  to  cul- 
tivate sanctity  of  life  by  attending  to  studies,  by 
obedience  to  superiors,  by  frequenting  the  sacra- 
ments, and  by  not  disturbing  ourselves  with  what 
occurs  in  the  world  ;  by  never  having  in  our  hand 
any  daily  neiuspaper;  but  especially  those  journals 
verily  issuing  from  the  depths  of  hell,  which  if  one 
shall  take  in  his  hand  he  will  be  guilty  of  a  griev- 
ous fault.'  " 

"  Is  this  the  way  these  clerical  students  are  in- 
structed ?  Now,"  continued  Aunt  Melie,  "  I  am 
satisfied  that  I  was  wrong  in  suspecting  them,  as  a 
class,  of  insincerity." 

"  Yes,  indeed ;  and  finally,  endowed  with  holy 
orders  from  the  authorities  of  the  ccllege  at  May- 
nooth,  Ireland,  or  of  some  other  approved  insti- 
tute or  university,  they  come  forth  fully  believing 
themselves  to  be  in  the  sacred  succession  of  the 
apostles  of  our  Lord,  with  *  the  keys  of  the  king- 
dom of  heaven  '  in  their  hands,  so  that  '  whatso- 
ever they  shall  bind  on  earth  shall  be  bound  in 
heaven,  and  whatsoever  they  shall  loose  on  earth 


'Wrr' 


i  ii 


|ii::Pii|:i 


11! '  MW 


iM  : 


.'1  i 


111' 


u 


;     I 


■ 


32 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


shall  be  loosed  in  heaven.'  I  have  been  person- 
ally acquainted  with  several  priests  both  in  Canada 
and  in  the  United  States,  and  I  am  satisfied  that 
as  a  class  they  are  quite  sincere. 

"  Their  sincerity  is  further  seen  in  their  almost 
constant  practice  of  devotions,  in  observing  what 
is  called  the  'Church  Office,'  which  is  a  form  of 
prayer  consisting  of  psalms,  lessons,  hymns,  etc., 
used  by  all  the  clergy,  and  by  the  religious  of  both 
sexes  in  the  Catholic  Church.  This  office  is  divid- 
ed into  seven  parts,  commonly  called  the  *  Seven 
Canonical  Hours,'  commencing  with  the  matins, 
or  midnight  office,  and  ending  with  the  compline, 
at  the  close  of  day." 

"  Is  this  what  the  priests  and  nuns  are  busy 
with,"  asked  Luella,  *'  when  we  see  them  on  the 
boats  or  in  the  cars  .'*  for  their  lips  are  almost  con- 
stantly in  motion,  as  though  they  were  trying  to 
whisper  something,  or  they  are  reading  from  a  lit- 
tle book  which  I  think  I  have  heard  you  call  a 
'breviary,'  or  prayer-book." 

"  That's  it  exactly.  These  devotions  consume 
a  large  portion  of  the  day." 

"  But,  Louis,"  asked  Mrs.  B.,  "  do  you  really  be- 
lieve that  they  are  sincere  when  they  ask  and  re- 
ceive money  of  their  people  for  the  pardon  of 
their  sins  ?  " 


erson- 
!anada 
d  that 

almost 
g  what 
arm  of 
s,  etc., 
of  both 
;  divid- 
'  Seven 
matins, 
mpline, 

e  busy 
on  the 
)st  con- 
ning to 
n  a  1  it- 
call   a 

3nsume 

ally  be- 
ind  re- 
don  of 


■I 


A  Righteous  Plea. 


33 


**  It  is  not  true — as  it  seems  to  me  1  must  have 
told  you  before  this  time — that  they  do  any  such 
thing,  at  least  in  this  country.  It  does  appear,  from 
certain  writers,  that  it  must  have  been  true  in  other 
countries  and  other  ages;  but  of  this  I  am  sure, 
that  no  money  was  ever  asked  of  me  by  any  priest 
in  the  confessional,  though  I  have  often  been  there 
and  was  never  refused  '  absolution.'  In  case  the 
priest  does  not  know  the  penitent  who  presents 
himself  for  confession,  he  inquires  whether  he 
contributes  any  thing  toward  the  sui)port  of  the 
Church.  If  the  individual  has  failed  to  do  so  in 
the  past,  and  refuses  to  pledge  himself  to  pay  in 
the  future,  the  priest  refuses  to  hear  his  confes- 
sion, and  he  is  justly  regarded  as  unworthy  of  any 
of  the  privileges  of  the  Church." 

"  But  how  is  it  that  Catholic  servants,  just 
before  going  to  their  Church,  want  so  much 
money,  as  you  know  Nora  does  nearly  every 
Sabbath .?  " 

"I  am    aware   that  this  might  give   rise  to  the 

suspicion  that  money  is  used   in  ':he  confessional, 

for,  in   order  to  secure  it,  some  servants  present 

this  as  their  plea.     But  you  must  consider  that  the 

prii'sts  make  other  demands   upon    their   people. 

'J'hink  of  the  vast  and  costly  edifices  they  erect, 

always    in    the    most  conspicuous  and  expcn<^ive 
3 


,m 


34 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


II!  'i 

t! 

i! 


ll- 


:  il 


localities,  and  often,  too,  in  communities  where 
they  have  very  few,  if  any,  wealthy  communicants. 
Whenever  the  priests  call  on  them  for  contribu- 
tions for  a  private  or  public  enterprise.  Catholics, 
rich  and  poor,  pour  out  their  money  like  water. 
I  have  known  families  who,  by  contributing  as  they 
were  urged  by  their  spiritual  guides,  to  reduce 
themselves  to  such  destitution  as  to  be  compelled 
to  seek  aid  from  the  town  or  county  where  they 
resided.  Napoleon  Roussel  has  styled  theirs  the 
'  religion  of  money.'  It  is  undeniably  true  in  more 
respects  than  one ;  but  they  do  not  pay  money  for 
the  pardon  of  sins,  as  you  have  thought." 

"  But  does  not  their  doctrine  of  purgatory  involve 
principles  which  have  led  us  and  many  others 
into  this  belief?  "  Mrs.  B.  again  questioned. 

"  Very  likely.  Concerning  this  doctrine,  how- 
ever, I  expect  to  tell  you  by  and  by  more  than  I 
have  time  to  say  to  you  now." 

Then  taking  from  the  table  a  little  book,  entitled 
"  Grounds  of  the  Catholic  Doctrine,  contained  in 
the  Profession  of  Faith,"  published  by  Pope  Pius 
IV.,  I  turned  to  page  46,  and  read;  ''^  Of  Purga- 
tory. What  is  the  doctrine  of  the  Church  as  to 
this  point .? 

^''Answer.  We  constantly  hold  that  there  is  a  pur- 
gatory, and  that  the   souls  therein  detained  are 


A  Righteous  Plea. 


35 


here 
ants, 
ribu- 
olics, 
i^ater. 
;  they 
iduce 
celled 
I  they 
rs  the 
.  more 
ey  for 

ivolve 
others 

how- 
[han  I 

ntitled 
ned  in 
e  Pius 
Piirga- 
as  to 

a  pur- 
led  are 


) 


helped  by  the  suffrages  of  the  faithful :  that  is,  by 
the  prayers  and  alms  offered  for  them,  and  princi- 
pally by  the  holy  sacrifice  of  the  Mass." 

"We  are  further  told,"  I  continued,  "  that  the 
prayers  of  the  priest  must  be  obtained  in  addition 
to  those  of  the  people,  for  which  he  must  be  paid 
money,  as  also  for  the  saying  of  masses,  and  that 
thereby  the  sins  of  the  souls  in  purgatory  are  re- 
mitted unto  them.  From  these  premises  many 
have  reasoned  as  follows :  '  Now,  if  the  priest  is 
paid  money  to  secure  the  pardon  of  sins  in  purga- 
to?y,  does  it  not  follow  that  he  is  also  paid  for  the 

9 

pardon  of  sins  in  the  confessional  ?  '  Every  one 
must  admit  that  your  reasoning  is  perfectly  logical, 
and  these  facts  shield  you  from  the  charge  of  hav- 
ing accused  the  Catholics  without  cause.  The 
same  process  of  reasoning  may  be  applied  with 
equal  force  to  the  doctrine  of  indulgences." 

"Really,  father,"  asked  Luella,  "do  you  think 
you  can  name  any  more  points  in  which  Protest- 
ants, and  even  your  own  family,  have  erroneously 
charged  the  Catholics }  " 

"Yes,  my  child;  here  is  one  :  I  have  sometimes 
heard  Protestants  say  that  Roman  Catholic  theol- 
ogy or  teaching  is  wholly  heterodox  or  false.  This 
book,  called  '  Grounds,'  etc.,  from  which  I  just  read, 
will  repel  this  charge."    After  reading  a  few  pages 


V"-17T-'T 


\V 


III 


w 


p 


1 1      ; 


!:!i 


;  i,ii 


i       I 


I   ■  ' 


36 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


I  said,  "  Now  you  see  that  every  essential  doctrine 
taught  in  the  Protestant  Churches  is  also  taught 
in  the  Catholic  Churches.  The  Apostles'  Creed, 
which  is  really  an  epitome  of  the  Gospels,  is  re- 
peated and  believed  in  all  Churches,  both  Catho- 
lic and  Protestant,  throughout  the  world,  without 
varying  even  a  word  or  syllable.  The  Lord's 
Prayer — and  what  prayer  is  better  entitled  to  uni- 
versal usage,  being  the  only  prayer  our  blessed 
Saviour  ever  taught  to  his  disciples,  an  epitome  of 
prayers  ? — is  daily  repeated  in  nearly  all  the  lan- 
guages of  the  world,  and  by  all  professed  Chris- 
tians. If  Catholics  would  only  stop  here — and 
not  try  to  add  to  that  which  is  divinely  per- 
fect— all  our  religious  differences  would  at  once 
vanish.  I  am  free,  however,  to  say  that  there 
is  enough  good  and  sound  doctrine  in  the  Roman 
Catholic  Church,  if  properly  applied,  to  save  the 
world." 

"  Do  you  mean  to  say,  father,"  asked  Johnnie 
quite  excitedly,  "  that  any  Catholics  are  saved  ?  " 

*'  Most  certainly.  I  believe  that  some  in  that 
Church,  like  Madame  Guyon  and  Bishop  Fenelon 
— grasping  the  saving  truth  which  they  have  been 
taught,  and  assisted  by  the  Holy  Spirit,  who,  like 
the  pure  sunlight  which  floods  the  earth  this  aft- 
ernoon, is  diffused  throughout  the  world — enjoy 


A  RighteotLs  Plea. 


37 


i 


much  of  the  favor  of  God,  walk  in  all  the  light 
they  have,  to  the  full  measure  of  their  responsibil- 
ities, and  rejoice  in  hope  of  heaven." 

**  But  I  am  convinced,"  added  Aunt  Melie, 
"that  while  this  7nay  be  the  happy  experience  of 
some,  the  masses  are  entangled  in  the  meshes  of 
error,  sink  the  spirit  and  power  of  true  religion  in 
the  mere  ceremony  and  outward  form,  and  follow 
the  commandments  and  traditions  of  men  rather 
than  the  word  of  God." 

"  But  do  you  think  these  Catholics  are  really 
satisfied  with  their  religion  ?  "  inquired  Johnnie. 
"They  are,  and  yet  they  are  not." 
"Why,  your  answer  is  something  of  a  riddle." 
"  Then  let  me  explain  it.  They  believe  and 
profess  that  they  have  true  faith,  and  are  in  the 
true  Church.  This  is  a  conviction  of  the  intellect, 
and  comes  from  human  teaching,  from  their  par- 
ents and  priests.  With  this  the  majority  of  them 
are  satisfied.  But  when  they  look  at  their  moral 
state ;  when  they  search  for  that  kingdom  of 
heaven  which  our  blessed  Saviour  says  *  is  within 
us,'  and  which  the  Apostle  Paul  describes  as  be- 
ing '  not  meat  and  drink,  but  righteousness ^  and 
peace ^  and  joy  in  the  Holy  Ghost ^'  they  are  not 
satisfied  with  their  condition,  and,  like  the  poet, 
they  sigh, — 


w 


^rr 


I  ill  ij 
i 


t 

1 

i    i!! 


M:   I 


I! 


L  ! 


1 1- 


38  Spiritual  Struggles. 

"  Break  off  the  yoke  of  inbred  sin, 

And  fully  SPt  my  spirit  free  ; 
I  cannot  rest  till  pure  within  , 

Till  I  am  wholly  lost  in  thee." 

"  But  this  rest  for  which  the  spirit  pants  is  a  mat- 
ter of  moral  consciousness,  and  can  be  obtained 
or  wrought  within  only  through  the  agency  of  the 
Holy  Spirit,  who  is  freely  given  to  us  in  the  re- 
demption of  Jesus  Christ." 

"  This  reminds  me,"  said  Johnnie,  "of  the  pre- 
cious words  of  Jesus  himself,  '  Come  unfo  me,  all  ye 
that  labor  and  are  heavy  laden,  and  /  7£Ji7/  give 
you  rest.  Take  my  yoke  upon  you,  and  learn  of  me, 
for  I  am  meek  and  lowly  in  \\Qdirty  and  ye  shall  Ji?id 
rest  unto  your  souls.'  " 

"O  father,  Jesus  said,"  quickly  added  Mary, 
"  '  Suffer  the  little  children  to  come  unto  me,  and  for- 
bid them  not,  for  of  such  is  the  kingdom  of  God.'  " 

While  they  were  repeating  these  beautiful  pas- 
sages Luella  was  gazing  upon  the  smooth  surface 
of  the  river,  and,  when  they  ceased,  she  exclaimed 
with  animation, 

"See  there  !  I'm  sure  that's  a  good  emblem  of 
this  soul-rest !  "  Then  turning  to  me,  with  her 
hand  upon  her  breast,  she  continued,  "And  what 
is  best  of  all,  dear  father,  I  feel  it  here,  to-day,  in 
my  heart." 


A  Righteous  Plea. 


39 


"I  perceive,"  I  said  with  emotion,  "that  we 
have  gained  something,  both  intellectually  and 
spiritually,  by  our  reasoning  together.  O,  would 
that  all  men  might  not  only  reason  with  one  an- 
other, but  also  with  God,  in  the  blessed  assurance 
which  the  prophet  gives,  that  though  their 'sins  be 
as  scarlet,  they  shall  be  as  white  as  snow;  though 
they  be  red  like  crimson,  they  shall  be  as  wool.'  " 

As  the  last  of  these  precious  words  fell  from  my 
lips  the  clock  below  struck  seven.  How  short  the 
time  had  been  !  Every  one  was  sorry  that  v/e 
were  compelled  to  close  our  interview  so  soon. 
Preparation  had  now  to  be  made  for  the  evening 
service  at  the  church. 

"  Next  Sabbath,"  said  I,  "  the  Lord  willing,  we 
will  meet  again,  and  I  will  tell  you  some  incidents 
of  my  childhood.  But  before  we  part  let  us  sing 
these  beautiful  words  : — 


"  Sweetly  may  we  all  agree, 
Touched  with  softest  sympathy  ; 
Kindly  for  each  other  care  ; 
Every  member  feel  its  share. 
Many  are  we  now  and  one, 
We  who  Jesus  have  put  on  : 
Names,  and  sects,  and  parties  fall : 
Thou,  0  Christ,  art  all  in  all." 


40 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


Hi 


■  ■i  i; 


•' 


! 


mn 


^lli 


II. 

MY  CHILDHOOD ITS  INCIDENTS  AND  LESSONS 

DIFFICULTIES. 

When  I  was  a  child,  I  spake  as  a  child,  I  understood  as  a 
child,  I  thought  as  a  child :  but  when  I  became  a  man,  I  put 
away  childish  thinpfs. — Paul. 

THE  week  had  passed  away  but  too  tardily,  as 
the  children  thought,  in  their  great  anxiety 
to  hear  my  story.  Many  times  Mary,  in  her  child- 
ish way,  had  inquired :  "  Father,  when  will  it  be 
Sunday  afternoon  again  l  "  To  me  the  time  had 
been  sufficiently  brief,  being  filled  up  with  the 
many  calls  and  duties  of  an  extensive  parish. 

The  holy  Sabbath  came  at  length,  but  clouds 
obscured  the  sky  and  threatened  rain,  which  indeed 
began  to  fall  just  before  the  afternoon  session 
of  the  Sunday-school.  Consequently  the  attend- 
ance was  not  quite  as  large  nor  the  exercises  as 
long  as  usual.  This  enabled  our  family  group  to 
assemble  in  the  study  a  few  minutes  earlier  than 
on  the  Sabbath  previous.  The  scene  without  was 
greatly  changed,  but  within  all  was  animation  and 
delight.  Some  one  remarked  that  the  elm  looked 
rather  tearful  out  there  in  the  drenching  rain,  and 


ChildJiood  and  its  Lessons. 


41 


that  the  heavens  showed  trouble  as  they  groaned 
with  muttering  thunders  and  glowed  with  occa- 
sional lightning. 

"  But,"  interrupted  Johnnie,  "  as  much  as  I  love 
to  study  the  trees  and  flowers,  I  am  more  interest- 
ed just  now  in  father's  story,  and  I  propose  that 
we  get  still  and  let  him  go  on."  Then  turning  to 
me,  he  continued,  "  Father,  you  remember  that  last 
Sabbath  you  corrected  us  in  our  false  ideas  of 
Catholics,  for  which  I  am  glad,  for  I  know  that  it 
has  made  me  a  better  boy  all  the  week,  especially 
when  I  have  been  playing  with  Catholic  boys  or 
talking  with  Nora  in  the  kitchen.  Now  it  seems 
to  me,  that,  as  you  know  both  sides  of  this  ques- 
tion, you  ought  to  present  here,  and,  if  possible, 
show  how  to  remove,  the  false  views  which  they 
undoubtedly  entertain  toward  Protestants.  I  am 
quite  sure  that  Nora  said  several  things  to  me 
about  Protestants  concerning  which  she  must  be 
mistaken." 

"This  is  just  the  subject  which  I  intend  to  pre- 
sent, my  son ;  and  it  will  fully  appear  as  I  pro- 
ceed with  my  narrative,  as  you  will  presently  see." 

"  That's  right,  father ;  give  us  the  story  anyway," 
said  Mary,  and  she  came  up  to  me  and  leaned  on 
the  arm  of  my  chair. 

"I'll  begin  now,  then,  if  you'll  give  attention. 


\l 


42 


Spfritual  Struggles. 


'    i.ll 


"  I  was  born  in  the  town  of  Highgate,  Frank- 
lin County,  Vermont,  August  11,  1833,  about  one 
mile  from  Saxe's  Mills.  My  parents  were  French, 
as  you  see  by  our  name,  and  the  French  lan- 
guage was  the  first  I  ever  spoke.  One  branch 
of  the  family  was  descended  from  a  long  line 
of  warriors,  which  can  be  traced  backward  to 
the  belligerent  Franks  of  ancient  Gaul.  In  mod- 
ern times  they  fought  in  this  country  at  Ti- 
conderoga  and  Quebec,  during  what  is  known  in 
American  history  as  the  French  and  Indian  War. 
The  other  branch,  on  my  mother's  side,  whose 
name  was  Marie  Bail  de  Printemps,  presents  an 
almost  uninterrupted  succession  of  Roman  Cath- 
olic religionists.  Her  grandmother  was  a  fellow- 
sufferer  of  '  Evangeline,'  the  heroine  of  one  of 
Longfellow's  most  beautiful  poems,  in  which  may 
be  found  a  picture  of  the  ardent,  simple,  religious 
spirit,  and  of  the  sufferings  of  those  eighteen  thou- 
sand Acadians,  who  were  driven  from  their  loved 
country  over  the  entire  continent." 

"  But  did  you  always  live  in  Vermont .''  "  asked 
Luella. 

"  When  I  was  five  years  old  my  parents  returned 
to  Canada  East,  their  native  province,  and  settled 
in  the  town  of  Henryville,  near  Lake  Champlain. 


1                    After 

about 

six 

years' 

residence 

there  we 

again 

1. 

~. 

— 

• 

i) 

•^* 

• 

. 

Childhood  and  its  Lessons. 


43 


removed  into  my  beloved  Green  Mountain  State, 
and  two  years  afterward  to  Ticonderoga,  New 
York,  where  we  remained  several  years.  When  I 
was  about  seven  years  of  age  I  came  near  being 
drowned  in  the  South  River." 

"What,  father,"  cried  Johnnie,  "just  as  I  did 
some  time  ago  in  Kinderhook  Creek }  " 

"  Much  like  it,  for  I  was  barely  saved  from  a 
watery  grave." 

"  How  good  the  Lord  has  been  to  us  all !  "  ex- 
claimed Luella.  "  Doubtless  he  has  preserved  our 
lives  for  some  good  purpose." 

"  I  trust  that  none  of  us,"  I  added,  "  will  in  any- 
wise frustrate  his  designs ;  but  that,  as  the  poet 
Cowper  has  written,  we   may  realize  that  though 


m 


"  '  The  bud  may  have  a  bitter  taste, 
Sweet  will  be  the  flower. ' 


But  I  must  continue  my  narrative.  My  mother 
was  one  of  the  most  earnest  and  devoted  Catholics 
I  ever  knew.  Every  member  of  her  numerous 
family  of  fifteen — nine  sons  and  six  daughters — 
was  baptized  in  early  childhood.  I  was  taken  to 
the  town  of  St.  Mary,  C.  E.,  a  great  many  miles 
from  home,  to  be  baptized.  Every  one  of  us  was 
thoroughly  trained  in  the  teachings  of  the  Church. 
I  was  taught  many  good  lessons  which  I  have  nev- 


f 


wr= 


44 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


'"  I: 


er  forgotten  nor  rejected,  and  for  which  I  am  truly 
grateful.  The  following  were  the  leading  princi- 
ples inculcated,  namely :  That  religion  is  a  subject 
of  supreme  importance ;  that  on  awaking  every 
morning  I  should  say,  *  My  God,  I  give  thee  my 
heart;'  that  after  dressing  myself  I  should  kneel 
down  and  offer  my  morning  prayer;  that  I  should 
partake  of  my  meals  with  sobriety  and  temper- 
ance, and  not  without  asking  God's  blessing  upon 
them ;  that  I  should  attend  public  religious  serv- 
ices every  day,  if  possible,  and  apply  myself  faith- 
fully to  my  vocation  in  life,  or  daily  labor;  that  I 
should  assist  the  poor  according  to  my  means,  and 
that  every  night  I  should  examine  my  conscience 
and  offer  my  evening  prayer." 

"  Surely,"  said  Luella,  "  this  is  just  as  good  in- 
struction as  any  child  need  receive,  and  all  of  it, 
I  think,  is  perfectly  scriptural." 

"  That  is  just  the  reason  I  continue  to  practice 
these  things,  and  desire  to  do  so  till  the  day  of  my 
death.  But  while  I  was  schooled  in  these  whole- 
some Christian  truths,  I  was  also  taught  to  hate  and 
shun  Protestants.  More  stress  was  laid  upon  this 
branch  of  my  education,  no  doubt,  because  there 
were  so  many  Protestants  around  us.  I  saw  also 
that  they  were  not  permitted  to  be  buried  in  our 
cemeteries.     In  my  early  childhood,  whenever  I 


-.V 


Childhood  and  its  Lessons. 


45 


heard  tlie  sound  of  a  Protestant  bell  a  holy  horror 
seemed  to  fill  my  soul,  and  I  could  have  leaped 
for  joy  at  seeing  every  Protestant  church  around 
us  in  flames." 

"  O  how  wicked  it  was  to  feel  like  that !  "  ex- 
claimed Johnnie,  with  sadness  in  his  countenance. 

"  I  know  it  now,  but  I  did  not  think  so  then. 
You  remember  that  Jesus  went  so  far  as  to  say 
to  his  disciples,  '  The  time  cometh  that  who- 
soever killeth  you  will  think  that  he  doeth  God 
service.' " 

" But ^^/^  didn't  feel  like  that,  did  you,  father.^ 
for  then  you  would  have  been  a  murderer." 

"  I  was  not  very  far  from  feeling  so,  I  am 
ashamed  to  confess.  But  it  is  no  wonder,  for  I 
was  told  that  Protestantism  is  not  only  a  denial 
and  rejection  of  all  spiritual  religion,  but  a  virtual 
crusade  against  it,  and  that  inasmuch  as  the  Cath- 
olic Church  is  the  only  true  one,  whoever  rejects 
it  rejects  God  and  his  Christ,  and  must  be  regard- 
ed as  '  a  heathen  man  and  a  publican.'  This  is 
an  opinion  entertained  by  all  rigid  Catholics." 

"0  1  think  it  was  this  that  Nora  tried  to  tell 
me  the  other  day,"  added  Johnnie. 

"  My  father  used  to  say  derisively  that  his  old 
brindled  ox  was  i  ore  pious  than  a  Protestant,  be- 
cause the  beast  would  always  kneel  before  he  lay 


t 


1 


w 


46 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


l!     I 


It:.: 

r   m\ 


down,  which  was  much   more   than  a  Protestant 
would  do." 

"  Is  it  possible  that  grandfather  would  talk  in 
that  way !  "  exclaimed  Luella  in  surprise. 

"  That  may  be  true  of  a  vast  body  of  Protest- 
ants who  makj  no  profession  of  personal  or  experi- 
mental religion,"  said  Aunt  Melie.  "  I  now  see 
what  terrible  responsibility  rests  upon  them  in  this 
matter.  They  are  really  the  great  stumbling- 
block  in  the  Avay  of  the  Gospel.  But  then  it  is  a 
pity  that  your  father  had  not  fallen  among  a  bet- 
ter class  of  Protestants." 

"  O  this  view  of  the  subject  was  drawn  from  his 
religious  training  rather  than  from  observation,"  I 
remarked  in  explanation.  "  All  this  spite  and  rid- 
icule is  substantially  tftught  in  the  Church  Cate- 
chism,* from  which  I  will  translate  a  brief  pas- 
sage." 

Turning  to  page  24  I  read  : — 

Are  there  many  Catholic  Churches.? ' 
No,  the  only  Catholic  is  the  Roman  Church, 
out  of  which  there  is  no  salvation.' 

"  *  What  must  we  think  of  those  other  societies 
which  call  themselves  Churches,  but  do  not  pro- 
fess the  same  faith  that  we  do,  and  are  not  subject 
to  the  same  pastors  } ' 

*  "Petit  Catechisme  du  Diocese  de  Quebec." 


i(  ( 


U  ( 


C.dldhood  and  its  Lessons. 


A7 


(( ( 


institutions,    which    serve 
and  cannot  bring  them  to 


They    are   human 
only  to  lead  men  astray, 
God.'" 

Laying  down  the  book  I  continued,  "  The  com- 
mentary upon  this  passage — and  no  passage  was 
more  thoroughly  taught  and  enforced — was,  that 
Protestantism,  referred  to  here,  protests  against 
Christ  and  his  Church,  against  all  law  and  gospel. 
The  word  Protestant  itself  was  made  to  mean  all 
this.  Therefore  I  was  told  that  it  was  a  grievous 
sin,  and  almost  a  sacrilege,  to  read  a  Protestant 
book,  or  to  attend  their  meetings ;  and  that  I  must 
shun  them  as  Eve  ought  to  have  shunned  the 
tempting  serpent.  This  question  is  thoroughly 
discussed  in  one  of  the  most  popular  books  of  in- 
struction in  the  Church,  where  may  be  found  the 
following  passage  :* 

"  '  What,  if  a  person,  through  absolute  necessity 
of  his  unhappy  circumstances,  should  be  tied  to 
a  place  where  he  can  never  hear  mass ;  do  you 
think  he  might  not  then  be  allowed  to  join  in 
prayer  with  those  of  another  communion,  by  way 
of  supplying  this  defect? ' 

"  *  No,  certainly.  It  is  a  misfortune,  and  a  great 
misfortune,  to  be  kept,  like  David  when  he  was 

*  The  Most  Rev.  Dr.  Challoner's  "  Catholic  Christian  In- 
structed," pp.  92,  93. 


/ 


48 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


II  ^ 


mi 


:'.    ii 


M 


persecuted  by  Saul,  at  a  distance  from  the  temple 
[tabernacle]  of  God,  and  its  sacred  mysteries; 
but  it  would  be  a  crime  to  join  ones  self  upon  that 
account  with  an  heretical  or  schismatic  congregation^ 
whose  worship  God  rejects  as  sacrilegious  and  im- 
pious. 

"  O,  now  I  see,"  cried  Luella,  "  why  you,  did  not 
attend  our  Sunday-schools  when  a  boy.  You  cer- 
tainly had  a  good  reason  for  it  then." 

"  But  this  was  not  all  I  was  taught.  I  was  also 
urged  to  do  all  in  my  power,  making  use  of  every 
possible  means,  peacefully  if  I  could,  '"orcefully  if 
I  must,  to  convert  Protestants  to  my  faith,  and  thus 
aid  in  the  overthrow  of  the  most  abominable  and 
damnable  heresy  ever  introduced  into  our  world. 
I  was  taught  that  as  Satan  plotted  and  accom- 
plished the  fall  of  the  first  man,  so  Protestantism 
was  a  plotting  to  overthrow  the  second  Adam,  even 
Christ.  This  teaching  was  so  often  repeated,  and 
with  such  religious  emphasis,  that  it  became  inter- 
woven into  the  very  texture  of  my  mental  and 
moral  being,  giving  peculiar  coloring  and  potency 
to  every  thought  and  feeling,  and  controlling  with 
more  or  less  certainty  all  my  actions.  '  It  is  in 
the  nature  of  man  to  be  credulous,'  says  an  emi- 
nent French  author.  'This  credulity  is  necessary 
to  our  conservation    and  development  during  in- 


i 


Childhood  and  its  Lessons. 


49 


fancy.  We  then  receive  for  true,  without  exam- 
ination, without  study,  opinions  which  cast  deep 
roots  into  our  minds,  and  which,  later  in  life,  rule 
us  as  with  a  tyrant's  hand.'  I  have  found  it  even 
so  in  my  own  experience. 

"  However,  as  I  grew  up  to  the  age  when  one 
begins  to  observe  the  manners  of  mankind,  I  was 
greatly  puzzled  to  find  that  the  morality  of  my 
Protestant  neighbors  was  far  superior  to  my  own 
and  to  that  of  my  people.  They  excelled  us  in 
acts  of  charity,  were  better  educated,  more  refined, 
industrious,  and  sober.  O  what  splendid  Chris- 
tians, I  often  thought — meaning,  of  course,  Roman 
Catholics — they  would  be  if  they  only  possessied 
the  light  I  felt  sure  I  had,  and  were  members  of 
the  true  Church  like  myself!  " 

"  Little  did  you  realize,  even  at  that  time," 
said  Aunt  Melie,  "  that  the  average  morality  of 
Prot^estants  in  the  United  States — though  it  is  not 
by  any  means  what  it  should  be — who  make  no 
pretensions  to  religion,  to  say  nothing  of  those  who 
do,  is  superior  to  that  of  the  Catholics." 

"  But  I  was  sure  of  this,  that  the  morality  of  Cath- 
olics in  this  country  reaches  a  standard  of  excel- 
lence unattained  and  unknown  in  purely  Catholic 
countries." 

"  Your  talk,"  said  Luella,  "  reminds  me  of  some 


I 


t- 


50 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


til 


conversation  I  heard  in  the  street-cars  a  few  days 
ago.  One  lady  remarked  to  another,  *  Have  you 
observed  the  signs  on  the  lager  b';-er  and  liquor 
saloons  and  other  low  groggeries,  which  are  so 
numerous  in  this  city.? '  '  Most  certainly,'  replied 
her  friend ;  '  and  I  notice  that  nearly  every  one 
bears  a  foreign  name,  which  indicates  the  religion 
to  which  the  keeper  probably  belongs.'  " 

"And  yet,  Luella,  just  look  a  moment  at  the 
lesson  I  received,  in  common  with  all  Catholics  of 
this  country,  on  this  subject.  In  a  popular  prayer 
book,  which  is  used  by  nearly  all  the  people,  being 
approved  by  Archbishop  John  Hughes  of  'Afff 
York,  entitled,  *  The  Way  to  Heaven,'  we  find  the 
following  instruction  and  prayer  on  page  14  : — 

"'By  a  rescript,  dated  5th  September,  1852, 
our  Holy  Father,  Pius  IX.,  at  the  instance  of  the 
National  Council  of  Baltimore,  sanctions  by  the 
grant  of  indulgences  the  institution  of  a  society 
whose  members  shall  especially  pray  for  the  con- 
version of  all  who  are  out  of  the  communion  of 
the  Church  in  the  United  States.' 

"  *  A  plenary  indulgence,  on  receiving  the  Easter 
communion,  to  all  the  members  who  shall  daily 
recite,  in  any  language,  the  following  prayer : 
'  Almighty  and  eternal  God,  who  savest  all,  and 
wilt  have  none  to  perish,  have  regard  to  th  ^se  souls 


Childhood  and  its  Lessons. 


51 


iy 

I  • 

I  • 

Id 

Is 


who  are  led  astray  by  the  deceits  of  the  devil, 
that  rejecting  all  error,  the  hearts  of  those  who 
err  may  be  converted,  and  may  return  to  the  unity 
of  the  truth  through  Christ  our  Lord.     Amen' 

"  Now  you  see  that  not  only  is  the  prayer  taught, 
but  this  work  is  considered  by  the  Pope  to  be  of 
such  importance,  that  the  heavy  premium  of  a 
plenary  indulgence — the  highest  ever  granted — is 
offered  to  every  true  Catholic  who  repeats  this 
brief  prayer." 

While  we  were  thus  discoursing,  Johnnie  had 
taken  down  the  files  of  our  daily  morning  paper, 
and,  interrupting  us,  he  said,  "Well,  here  is  more 
light — perhaps  you  vill  say  darkness — on  the  sub- 
ject you  are  discussing.  According  to  these  facts 
I  think  they  had  better  get  up  societies  to  pray 
for  the  conversion  of  their  oivn  people.  Just  hear 
me  read  the  returns  from  our  police  court." 

He  then  read  a  lengthy  list  of  arrests,  present- 
ing an  unbroken  array  of  foreign  names,  and  re- 
marked : — 

"  There,  this  is  one  day's  courting  at  our  police 
head-quarters."  Turning  to  another  and  another 
day's  account  he  continued  for  some  time  reading 
similar  names  in  the  same  category,  until  his  moth- 
er interrupted  him  by  saying, 

"  That  will  do,  I  think,  Johnnie  ;  for  you  might 


52 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


l!     I 


fc  ill 
f  r' 


read  till  night  and  there  would  be  no  relieving  of 
the  dark  picture.  And  it  is  all  the  darker  when 
we  consider  that  these  are  the  police  records  of  a 
city  many  of  whose  police,  and  at  least  one  of  its 
justices,  are  Roman  Catholics." 

"  These  names,  though  nearly  all  foreign,  as  is 
evident,"  I  remarked,  "may  not  all  be  the  names 
of  '^atholics." 

"  Very  true ;  perhaps  a  few  are  not,  but  as  we 
are  not  personally  acquainted  with  those  individ- 
uals," replied  Mrs.  B.,  "  I  suppose  we  must  draw 
our  conclusions,  guided  by  the  positive  knowledge 
we  have  of  people  in  our  own  neighborhood,  and 
by  what  we  learn  from  the  criminal  reports  of  the 
day — reports  from  penitentiaries,  jails,  prisons,  etc. 
These  things  are  truly  appalling." 

"  My  early  difficulties  with  regard  to  morals, 
however,  were  not  as  great  as  when  I  discovered 
that  our  Protestant  neighbors  were  not  only  so 
benevolent  that  Catholic  beggars  or  paupers  would 
go  to  them  for  alms  rather  than  to  the  wealthy 
Catholics,  or  even  to  our  priests,  who  always  lived 
in  the  midst  of  abundance,  but  that  these  'here- 
tics,' as  we  called  them,  were  also  strictly  religious. 
Mingling  among  them,  as  we  were  compelled  to 
do,  I  found,  to  my  surprise,  that  many  of  them 
never  partook    of  their   meals  without    invoking 


Childhood  and  its  Lessons. 


53 


God's  blessing  upon  themselves  and  the  food  be- 
fore  them.  Morning  and  evening  their  family 
circles  joined  in  reading  the  Bible,  also  in  singing 
hymns  of  praise,  and  in  prayer,  a  very  pious  prac- 
tice which  I  seldom  witnessed  among  Catholics. 
The  hours  of  the  Sabbath  were  observed  very 
sacredly,  mostly  in  reading  religious  books  and 
periodicals,  and  in  attending  public  worship  in 
churches  which  I  found  in  every  village  and  ham- 
let. The  contrast  between  this  state  of  things  in 
Vermont  and  the  noise  and  dissipation  which 
marked  the  Sabbath  in  Canada  East,  just  across 
the  line,  made  a  deep  impression  on  my  mind, 
especially  as  nothing  but  the  different  religions 
taught  in  these  places  could  adequately  account 
for  these  different  results." 

"  Give  us,  please,  some  idea  of  the  way  people 
kept  the  Sabbath  in  Canada,"  asked  Johnnie. 

"  The  Sabbath  there  was  a  grand  holiday. 
Rum  taverns  and  saloons — kept,  in  many  instances, 
by  leading  members  of  the  Church — were  open  all 
day  long  and  thoroughly  patronized,  except  dur- 
ing the  hours  of  mass  (the  morning  service)  and 
vespers.  Between  these  services,  in  the  park  right 
in  front  of  the  church,  men  and  boys,  and  not  un- 
frequently  girls,  all  members  of  the  Church,  played 
marbles,  tops,  and  ball,  while  fine  horses  were  pa- 


pi 

I 

iff 


54 


Spiritual   Struggles. 


radcd  about  tlie  streets  to  advertise  their  beauty 
and  speed.  You  will  scarcely  believe  me  when  I 
tell  you,  that  an  auctioneer  by  the  name  of  Demers, 
himself  a  trustee  of  the  church,  whose  sons  were 
my  schoolmates,  immediately  after  mass,  mounted 
a  block  erected  for  the  purpose  not  more  than 
twenty  feet  from  the  church  door,  and,  after  mak- 
ing several  announcements  of  cattle  strayed  away 
or  articles  found,  etc.,  held  an  auction  sale,  at 
least  one  day  in  the  year,  of  garden  seeds,  braids 
of  flax,  skeins  of  thread  or  knitting  yarn,  vegeta- 
bles, and  live  stock.  The  proceeds  of  the  sale 
were  turned  over  to  the  priest  for  prayers  and 
masses  for  the  dead.  This  was  always  preceded 
by  a  collection  in  church  for  the  same  pupose.  I 
have  seen  many  a  cackling  hen  and  squealing  pig 
sold  in  that  way." 

"  What !  on  the  Sabbath  ?  "  exclaimed  Johnnie. 

"  If  not  on  the  Sabbath,  it  was  on  a  '  holy  day  of 
obligation,'  which  they  consider  as  sacred,  and  al- 
ways after  high  mass.  But  you  must  remember 
that  this  was  about  thirty  years  ago,  when  people  in 
those  parts  were  much  more  ignorant  than  now. 
Those  announcements  from  the  auction-block, 
made  every  Sabbath,  were  the  only  means  people 
had  of  advertising,  for  there  were  probably  not  a 
half  dozen  newspapers  taken  in  the  town  ;  and  if  a 


f 

I 


Childhood  and  its  Lessons. 


55 


written  notice  had  been  posted  in  a  most  conspicu- 
ous place  in  the  village,  not  more  than  one  person 
out  of  a  hundred  could  have  read  it.  Time,  with 
increasing  light,  has  well  nigh  obliterated  the  traces 
oi  such  disgraceful  scenes  in  nearly  all  parts  of 
that  land." 

"But  what  were  the  private  habits  of  the  peo- 
ple } "  asked  Luella. 

"  Every  house  in  the  village  had  its  pack  of 
cards,  and  card-playing  and  dancing,  with  more 
or  less  liquor-drinking,  were  going  on  in  every 
direction." 

"  And  did  you  play  cards  with  the  rest .''  "  she 
inquired  feelingly. 

"  I  blush  to  confess  it.  I  have  often  shuddered 
when  I  have  thought  how  near  I  came  to  a  gam- 
bler's life  and  a  gambler's  ruin.  You  will  not 
wonder,  however,  when  I  tell  you  how  I  was 
taught  and  '^  hat  examples  were  set  before  me. 
My  father  took  as  much  pains  in  teaching  us  the 
figures  of  the  dance  and  the  game«;  at  cards  as  my 
mother  did  in  teaclnng  us  to  pray.  However,  she 
did  not  object  to  the  fun  herself,  because  this 
amusement  was  universal.  And  as  we  kept  a  small 
bakery  with  a  restaurant  attached — though  we 
sold  no  liquor — this  state  of  things  brought  us  no 
small  gain,  especially  on  the  Sabbath.     Our  rev- 


■  ; 


56 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


enue  was  greatest  in  the  season  of  apples,  for  then 
our  house  would  be  crowded  all  day  long  with 
those  who  bought  our  apples,  and  then  gambled 
at  cards,  generally  in  a  game  called  Loo.  As  I 
was  an  expert  at  the  games  I  would  often  win  the 
customers'  apples,  and  keep  them  buying  more. 
So  this  sort  of  brigandage  would  go  on  throughout 
the  blessed  day,  from  morning  till  late  at  night, 
except  during  religious  services,  for  these  were  al- 
ways strictly  and  devotionally  attended  at  the 
sound  of  the  bell,  and  the  greater  our  pleasures 
and  sins  at  home  the  more  earnest  would  be  our 
prayers  at  church.  And  then  after  vespers,  or  aft- 
ernoon service  of  song,  father  and  mother  would 
repair  to  the  priest's  house,  or  *  presbytery,' as  it 
was  called,  and  spend  the  remainder  of  the  day  in 
playing  cards  with  the  priest." 

"  Is  it  possible  !  What,  with  a  priest  professing 
to  be  one  of  the  apostles  of  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ .''  " 
ejaculated  Luella. 

*'  Yes,  certainly ;  and  yet  he  was  one  of  the 
most  devoted  priests  when  performing  the  func- 
tions of  his  sacerdotal  office  that  I  ever  saw.  His 
name  was  Brouillette.  He  was  finally  selected  for 
his  great  devotion  as  a  missionary  to  the  Indians 
in  Oregon,  where  he  taught  the  red  man  the  prin- 
ciples of  his  religion." 


CJiildJiood  and  its  Lessons. 


57 


"  But  what  would  grandfather  and  grandmother 
say  to  you  when  they  returned  home  from  their 
ministerial  games  ?  " 

"  O  they  would  tell  us  of  the  splendid  times 
they  had  ;  how  the  jovial  priest,  with  his  tricks  and 
cheatings  with  the  cards — all  in  sport  of  course — 
would  keep  the  whole  company  for  hours  in  an 
uproar  of  laughter.  Sometimes  the  presbytery 
would  be  quite  full.  Now  I  assure  you  that  at 
times,  young  as  1  was,  this  state  of  things  strange- 
ly puzzled  my  brain.  The  change  perceptible  on 
going  from  Vermont  only  a  few  miles  into  Canada, 
it  seems  to  me,  must  have  been  much  as  when 
Christ  and  the  favored  three  descended  from  the 
mount  of  transfiguration  into  the  valley  of  unbelief 
and  demoniac  possessions." 

"Jesus  said,  'Judge  the  tree  by  its  fruit,'  "  re- 
marked Mrs.  B.  "  Why  did  you  not  apply  the 
wholesome  rule } " 

"  The  application  of  this  test  was  often  urged 
upon  my  mind,  but  I  regarded  it  as  a  temptation. 
I  endeavored  to  reason  myself  into  the  belief  that 
this  striking  contrast  between  Protestant  and 
Catholic  manners  might  be  traced  to  natural 
causes  mainly,  such  as  inherited  tendencies,  and 
the  different  influence  of  soil,  climate,  and  society 
amid  which  one  is  born  and  educated.     And  yet 


!    I 


^! 


. 


^i 


U    r-' 


58 


Spiritual   Stkugglks. 


all  this  failed  to  satisfy  me,  and  for  several  years 
the  subject  remained  as  a  knotty  puzzle  or  pro- 
found mystery." 

"But,"  interrupted  Aunt  Melie,  "with  such 
convictions  in  your  mind,  and  such  facts  before 
your  face,  what  could  keep  you  so  long  in  the 
bosom  of  the  Church  ?  "      * 

"  Ah,  I  presume  I  was  detained  by  the  same 
powerful  influences  which  have  for  centuries  kept 
thousands  of  my  fellow-religionists." 

"  This  is  a  great  puzzle  to  my  own  mind,  fa- 
ther," said  Luella,  "  and  if  you  can  I  wish  you 
would  explain  it." 

"Your  request  involves  the  whole  subject  of  the 
peculiar  power  or  influence  of  the  Roman  Catholic 
Church  over  her  members.  To  present  this  subject 
fully  would  take  more  time  than  remains  to  us 
this  afternoon.  But  you  see  that  the  storm  in- 
creases, and  is  becoming  so  fearful  that  it  is  not 
probable  there  will  be  any  service  at  the  church 
to-night.  In  that  event  we  will  meet  again  about 
eight  o'clock,  and  I  will  try  to  answer  your  in- 
quiry." 

Our  gathering  was  broken  up  without  formality, 
and  I  was  left  alone  in  my  room  to  spend  a  few 
moments  in  meditation  and  prayer,  until  the 
sound  of  the  tea-bell  should  summon  me  below. 


The  Church  *s  Pillars  of  Strcfu^th.         59 


III 


THE  CHURCH'S    PILLARS   OF   STRENGTH — NORA. 

"  And  power  was  given  him  over  all  kindreds,  and  tongues, 
and  nations." — Revelation, 

THERE  was  no  cessation  in  the  storm;  it 
liacl  rather  increased.  During  the  evening 
the  wind  veered.  The  cold  was  growing  more 
and  more  intense.  The  clouds  lowered  darkly, 
and  prematurely  hid  the  day,  while  they  poured 
their  watery  contents  down  in  sweeping  floods. 
From  their  angry  bosoms  they  belched  forth,  Ve- 
suvius-like, their  fiery  breath,  hoarsely  muttering 
defiance  to  the  darkening  night.  The  scene  re- 
minded me  of  those  lines  of  Thomson  : — 

"  From  cloud  to  cloud  the  rending  lightnings  rage ; 
Till,  in  the  furious  elemental  war 
Dissolved,  the  whole  precipitated  mass 
Unbroken  floods  and  solid  torrents  pour." 

About  the  time  of  service  I  ventured  out  into 
the  dark,  deserted  streets,  to  ascertain  whether 
there  was  any  probability  of  a  meeting.  But  the 
sexton  had  not  opened  the  church  door,  and  the 
storm  beat  mournfully  upon  the  darkened  win- 


i 

I 

f 


1^ 


60 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


f    I   >:" 


dows,  admonishing  me  to  hasten  my  return  home. 
A  few  minutes  before  the  appointed  time  we  were 
again  in  my  study.  The  baby's  cradle  was  brought 
up,  and  he  was  snugly  put  to  sleep. 

An  interesting  episode  must  here  be  related. 
By  this  time  Nora  had  become  strangely  interested 
in  our  study  meetings.  During  the  week  the  chil- 
dren had  given  her  the  substance  of  our  first  in- 
terview, and  she"  was  greatly  pleased  with  the 
candor  and  Christian  charity  with  which  the  whole 
subject  had  been  treated.  And  then,  drawn  either 
by  her  natural  curiosity  or  influenced  by  the  Holy 
Spirit  of  God,  she  had  so  adroitly  managed  the 
doors  leading  from  the  study  to  her  room,  on 
the  same  floor,  that,  unobserved  by  us,  she  over- 
head nearly  all  the  conversation  of  the  afternoon, 
gliding  softly  down  stairs  only  just  in  time  to  pre- 
pare our  evening  meal.* 

A  few  minutes  before  the  evening  gathering  she 
besought  the  children  to  intercede  with  me  that 
I  would  permit  her  to  come  in  with  us.  Of  course 
my  consent  was  readily  granted,  for  it  was  just  what 

*  We  do  not  wish  to  be  understood  as  justifying  Nora's 
plan  for  eavesdropping — a  censurable  practice   too  common 
with  some  children  and  servants.     But  in  this  case  the  evil 
was  overruled  for  good.     Thi3  once  was  Nora's  only  offense 
for  which  we  freely  forgave  her. 


The  Church 's  Pillars  of  Strength.         6  T 


I  desired,  though  I  had  not  expected  that  she 
would  become  interested  in  the  matter  so  soon.  At 
first,  not  knowing  how  much  she  knew  of  our  for- 
mer talks,  I  was  half  inclined  to  regard  her  request 
as  a  joke,  or  to  think  that  a  superstitious  dread 
of  being  alone  in  any  room  of  the  house  during 
so  terrific  a  storm,  especially  in  the  night,  led 
her  to  this  desire.  But  I  soon  ascertained  that 
she  was  in  earnest,  and  that  already  a  deep  long- 
ing to  know  the  saving  truth  of  God's  word  was 
kindled  within  her.  So  when  the  children  came 
in,  they  brought  Nora  with  them. 

As  Luella  came  in  holding  Nora  by  the  hand, 
she  sat  down  by  her  side.  As  soon  as  the  room 
became  quiet  she  turned  to  her  and  said  : 

"  Nora,  perhaps  you,  as  well  as  father,  can  tell 
me  what  I  am  especially  anxious  to  know  just 
now." 

Nora  hung  her  head  a  moment,  as  if  abashed  or 
a  little  puzzled,  and  then  replied,  "  That  depends 
on  what  you  want  to  know.    I'll  tell  you  if  I  can." 

*'  Well,  can  you  tell  me  what  is  the  chief  corner- 
stone, or  the  principal  pillar  of  strength,  in  your 
Church  >  " 

She  hesitated  for  some  moments  as  if  in  deep 
study,  and  then  slowly  said,  "  I — suppose, — child, 
—it  is — her  infallibility ;"  but  seeming  not  to  be 


(I   ;/ 


62 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


II 


B 


I  J  Slj 


(Sil 


|. 


I  IP''? 


( 


1- 

i'l 

1 

5 

|::| 

^ 

1]  • 

fully  satisfied  herself  with  the  answer,  she  added, 
"  Wait  a  bit,  dear ;  I  think  it  is  rather  /i^r  j^jcat 
attention  to  children,'' 

"  Nora  has  struck  the  key-note,"  I  said  ;  *'  you 
may  depend  upon  that.  In  this  matter,  however, 
Catholics  follow  illustrious  examples — even  that  of 
the  old  Jewish  Church  and  of  Christ,  who,  setting 
a  child  in  the  midst  of  his  disciples,  said,  Of  such 
is  my  kingdom,  and  all  men  must  become  like  this 
child  to  enter  therein." 

"But,"  said  Aunt  Melie,  "does  the  Catholic 
Church  present  the  same  motives,  and  does  she 
act  with  the  same  spirit }  " 

"  Let  us  examine.  In  order  to  reap  as  great  a 
he.. vest  here  as  possible,  she  strenuously  teaches 
that  no  child  dying  unbaptized  can  possibly  enter 
heaven,  but  must  forever  be  detained  in  a  mourn- 
ful region  which  she  calls  ''  limb  us  infantum.'  She 
does  not  permit  unbaptized  children  to  be  buried 
with  others,  but  puts  them  by  themselves  in  a  sort 
of  potter's  field." 

"There,  I  thought  there  was  something  funda- 
mentally wrong,"  added  Aunt  Melie,  "  in  her 
teaching  here.  Why,  nothing  is  plainer  than  that 
the  covenant  which  God  made  with  our  father 
Abraham  included  himself  and  children,  and 
that  all  received  circumcision  as  a  seal  of  their  ac- 


The  CJitirch  \  Pillars  of  Strength.         63 


» 


ceptance  with  God,  and  not  to  make  them  accepta- 
ble. So  now  children  should  be  baptized,  because 
they  already  belong  to  Christ  and  are  of  his  kingdom, 
but  not  to  make  them  such.  Baptism  can  in  no 
case  create  the  union  of  a  soul  to  Christ,  it  only 
recognizes  and  seals  it." 

"You  have  planted  your  banner  on  scriptural 
ground,  I  am  sure,"  I  replied.  *'  But  the  Catholic 
Church  urges  the  reverse  of  this.  Thus  she  seeks 
to  baptize  not  only  the  children  of  families  where 
both  parents  are  Catholics,  but  also  where  only 
one  of  them  is  in  the  faith,  and  not  unfrequently 
she  reaches  the  children  of  those  who  are  wholly 
non-Catholic*  To  accomplish  this,  notwithstand- 
ing the  sacredness  which  the  Church  attaches  to 
the  sacraments,  she  teaches  that  baptism  may  be 
administered  by  any  person,  in  what  she  calls 
*  cases  of  necessity.'  \  This  can  be  done  by  a  here- 
tic even,  or  by  an  ignorant  servant-boy  or  girl,  as 
well  as  by  a  bishop." 

So  saying,  the  children  turned  their  eyes  toward 


*  A  Romish  priest  under  oath  not  long  since  made  the  follow- 
ing statement :  "  I  believe  I  have  divine  authority  to  secure 
Protestant  children  from  their  Protestant  mothers  and  make 
them  Catholics.  I  deny  the  right  of  a  Protestant  minister  to 
do  the  same." 

•j-  Dr.  Challoner's  "  Catholic  Instructed,"  p.  24.  "  Petit 
Catechisme,"-p.  51. 


II 


,1 
J  If 


iiii 


•Ill 


h  '> 


:■(; 


\  'I 


64 


Spiritual   Struggles. 


Nora,  who,  as  I  waited  a  moment,  hoping  she 
might  say  something,  remarked,  "  All  this  is  true, 
but  I  wouldn't  for  the  life  of  me  that  Protestants 
generally  should  know  it." 

"  Why  not,  if  it  be  true  .'*  "  quickly  asked  Luella. 

"  Why,  don't  you  see  that  many  of  us  poor  serv- 
ant-girls would  be  sure  to  lose  our  places .''  for 
Protestants  wouldn't  have  us  in  their  families  if 
they  knew  these  things,  though  we  only  do  what 
we  are  ordered  to  do  by  the  Church.  And,  faith, 
I  have  known  of  several  children  of  Protestant 
families  brought  into  our  Church  in  this  very  way, 
when  nobody  but  the  priest  and  myself,  (»r  some 
friend  of  mine  knew  any  thing  about  it,  until  it 
was  too  late  for  them."  Here  she  stopped  abrupt- 
ly, became  nervous  under  the  excited  gaze  of  the 
children,  and,  indeed,  of  the  rest  of  the  company, 
and,  as  a  fearful  peal  of  thunder  shook  the  house, 
crossed  herself  and  exclaimed,  "  Ah,  me !  may 
the  holy  Virgin  Mary  and  St.  Honora,  my  patron 
saint,  protect  me !  for  I  didn't  mean  to  turn  in- 
former on  our  good  priests,  much  less  on  myself. 
O  what  would  I  give  if  I  had  never  ?nid  a  word 
about  it !  " 

"  Now,  Nora,"  I  mildly  remarked,  hoping  to 
remove  her  embarrassment,  "  you  need  not  be  so 
troubled  about  what  you  have  said,  for,  in  the  first 


The  Church  *s  Pillars  of  Strength.         65 


place,  the  general  practice  of  your  Church  in 
this  direction  was  well  known  to  me  before  you 
spoke ;  and,  in  the  second  place,  you  ought  not 
to  be  afraid  to  tell  the  truth  at  any  time.  It 
is  already  a  matter  of  history  that  in  1858  a  boy, 
seven  years  old,  named  Edgar  Mortara,  the  son  of 
a  Jew  at  Bologna,  then  in  the  Pontifical  States, 
was  forcibly  taken  from  his  parents  and  placed  in  a 
Catholic  school  at  Rome,  where  he  subsequently 
became  a  monk  in  one  of  the  principal  convents,  and 
was  known  as  Don  Pio  Mortara.  The  ground  on 
which  he  was  taken  was  his  alleged  baptism,  when 
an  infant  and  dangerously  sick,  by  a  servant-girl 
in  his  father's  family.*  In  all  these  cases  the  little 
protegds  are  looked  after  with  untiring  zeal,  and,  if 
possible,  brought  within  the  scope  of  the  Church's 
power.  A  child  can  be  taught  to  believe  any 
thing.  Faith,  in  the  human  breast,  is  as  spontane- 
ous and  natural  as  is  breathing  to  the  lungs,  and 
no  one  ever  begins  to  doubt  or  question  until  he  is 
conscious  of  having  been  deceived." 

"  Mr.  Spurgeon  recently  said,"  added  Mrs.  B., 
"  *  I  have,  during  the  past  year,  received  forty  or 
fifty  children  into  Church-membership.  Among 
those  I  have  had  at  any  time  to  exclude  from 
Church-fellowship,    out    of   a  Church  of  twenty- 

*  Rev.  S.  W.  Bainum's  "  Romanism  As  It  Is,"  p.  648. 
5 


66 


Spiritual   Struggles. 


II. 

If 


m  ^ 


:M 


I 


seven  hundred  members,  I  never  had  to  exclude 
a  single  one  who  was  received  while  yet  a  child.* 
Even  so  the  Church  must  learn  that  if  she  would 
subdue  the  world  to  Christ  she  must  bring  her 
children  to  her  altars  in  very  infancy,  and  in  the 
family,  train  them  thoroughly  for  this  holy  war." 

At  this  point  1  assured  Nora  that  nothing  she 
had  confessed  should  be  permitted,  at  least  if  I 
could  prevent  it,  to  return  upon  her  to  her  injury. 
Meanwhile  Luella,  in  sympathy,  had  thrown  her 
arms  around  the  agitated  girl,  drawing  her  close 
to  her  side  so  as  to  lean  her  head  upon  her  shoul- 
der. Quietness  having  been  fully  restored,  John- 
nie remarked, 

"  But  this  does  not  explain  all  the  power  of  the 
Church,  does  it  ?  " 

*'  O  no.  Her  power,  especially  over  children 
and  the  masses,  is  found  also  in  /ler  method  of  ob- 
ject-teachings or  use  of  symbols^  which  appeal  to  the 
external  senses.  In  this  regard  she  greatly  resem- 
bles the  Jewish  Church.  The  artist  is  doing  vast- 
ly more  in  the  Church  than  the  priest.  The  elab- 
orate paintings  on  the  walls  of  the  churches;  the 
gorgeous  display  of  ornaments  on  the  high  altars ; 
the  splendid  crucifixes  and  ponderous  statues;  the 
ever-burning  lamps  and  tapers  ;  the  swinging  and 
smoking  censers;   the  oratorios  performed  in  the 


\ 


\    \ 


The  Church  's  Pillars  of  Strength.         67 


highest  style  of  the  musical  art  on  pealing  organs ; 
the  gaudy  attire  of  officiating  priests  and  acolytes, 
or  attendants,  with  the  varied  and  theatrical 
changes  of  the  services,  are  the  chief  attractions, 
both  gravitating  and  cohesive,  of  the  Church. 
Strip  her  of  these,  and  what  would  remain  ?  Preach- 
ing is  but  a  small  item  in  the  services  of  the  Romish 
Church,  and  often  there  is  no  preaching  at  all.  The 
people  are  not  generally  instructed,  but  amused. 

"  No  pains  are  spared  to  vary  the  above  attrac- 
tions to  suit  them  to  the  changing  seasons  and  to 
all  occasions.  For  instance,  during  Lent,  the 
churches  are  draped  in  mourning,  and  the  general 
services  are  more  solemn  than  usual,  culminating 
in  the  most  funereal  solemnities  during  Passion 
Week.  The  altars  are  then  stripped  of  their  or- 
naments, the  crucifixes  and  altar-pieces  are  draped 
or  covered,  the  windows  are  darkened,  and  the 
lamps  so  arranged  as  to  shed  the  most  melancholy 
light  throughout  the  edifices.  On  Wednesday, 
Thursday,  and  Friday  evenings  are  celebrated  the 
tenebrcB  offices,  so  called  from  the  Latin  word  for 
darkness,  because  toward  the  end  of  the  service 
all  the  lights  are  extinguished,  in  memory  of  the 
darkness  which  covered  all  the  earth  while  Christ 
was  hanging  on  the  cross ;  and  at  the  close  of  the 
offices  on  Friday  night,  a  noise  is  made  by  the  con- 


n¥^>m 


mv 


i;; 


Pm    < 


68 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


gregation's  clapping  of  hands,  or  striking  the 
bench  before  them,  to  represent  the  earthquake 
and  rending  of  rocks,  which  happened  at  the  mo- 
ment when  our  Lord  expired.  This  rite  is  not 
performed  in  all  places,  but  usually  in  metropoli- 
tan churches  or  cathedrals. 

*'  From  the  evening  of  Good  Friday  a  cenotaph, 
or  memorial  tomb  of  Christ,  is  erected  near  the 
iK  r,  at  which,  night  and  day,  two  boys  belonging 
to  the  choir,  and  dressed  in  white  robes  in  imita- 
tion of  the  angels,  watch  while  they  read  and  re- 
peat solemn  prayers.  I  have  spent  many  hours  in 
these  mournful  vigils,  hoping  thereby  to  gain  some 
great  indulgence  from  the  Lord.  We  were  re- 
lieved by  others  every  hour.  During  this  time  a 
large  crucifix,  intended  to  represent  the  dead 
Saviour,  is  exposed  in  the  church,  at  a  point  con- 
venient of  access,  and  multitudes  of  people  visit 
it,  and  kiss  it.  These  occasions  left  a  deep  im- 
pression upon  my  sympathetic  nature.  This 
service  continues  until  early  Easter  morning,  at 
the  time  that  it  is  supposed  Christ  rose  from 
the  tomb,  when  every  vestige  of  mourning  is  re- 
moved, and  the  greatest  gayety  and  jubilation 
are  introduced  into  every  sight  and  sound.  Dur- 
ing the  month  of  May,  which  is  especially  con- 
secrated to  the  worship  of  the  Virgin  Mary,  there 


TJic  Chunk  ^s  Pillars  of  Strength.         69 


I 


is  the  greatest  display  of  flowers  in  the  churches, 
and  the  services  are  of  the  most  joyful  kind." 

"  These  things  are  so,"  said  Nora ;  "  I  have  often 
seen  them." 

**  Certainly  ;  *  that  which  I  have  seen  and  heard 
declare  I  unto  you.'  And  I  have  still  more  to  tell 
you.  The  vestments  of  the  priests  officiating  at 
masses  are  peculiarly  attractive.  They  are  the 
amice,  the  alb,  the  girdle,  the  maniple,  the  stole, 
and  the  chasuble.  All  these  are  tastefully  and  gaud- 
ily made  and  trimmed.  '  In  these  vestments,'  says 
Rev.  Dr.  Challoner,*  '  the  Church  makes  use  of 
five  colors,  the  white,  on  the  feast  of  our  Lord,  of 
the  blessed  Virgin,  of  the  angels,  and  of  the  saints 
that  were  not  martyrs ;  the  red,  on  the  feast  of  pen- 
tecost,  on  the  invention  (discovery)  and  exaltation 
of  the  cross,  and  of  the  apostles  and  martyrs  ;  the 
green,  on  the  greatest  part  of  the  Sundays ;  the 
violet,  in  the  penitential  times  of  Advent  and  Lent, 
and  upon  vigils  and  Emberdays ;  and  the  black, 
upon  Good  Friday  and  the  masses  for  the  dead.' 

"  In  addition  to  these  symbols  I  ought  to  men- 
tion those  employed  in  Roman  Catholic  countries 
like  Canada  East.  Along  most  of  the  thorough- 
fares the  traveler  is  surprised  to  find  every  few 
miles  a  cross  about  twenty  feet   high,  beautified 

*  "  The  Catholic  Instructed,"  p.  82. 


i' 


mf 


r  i 


f 

It 


Hi 


■  *r   ■< 


I 


70 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


with  modern  art,  before  which  the  devout  remove 
their  hats  as  they  pass,  and  make  the  sign  of  the 
cross  upon  their  breasts,  and  around  whose  base 
the  ground  is  beaien  hard  and  smooth  by  the 
knees  of  the  peasants  and  villagers  who  come 
there  at  eventide  to  offer  their  devotions.  The 
highest  mountains  and  hills  are  also  adorned  with 
crosses,  which  the  faithful  frequently  visit  in  holy 
pilgrimages.  Nearly  every  house,  barn,  and  even 
outhouse  is  surmounted  by  a  cross,  many  of  the 
citizens  preferring  them  to  lightning-rods,  and 
using  them  for  the  same  purpose. 

"  Previous  to  their  erection  those  large  public 
crosses  are  carried  about  the  streets  in  pompous 
and  solemn  processions,  while  music,  both  vocal 
and  instrumental,  rends  the  air,  and  brilliant  flags 
and  banners  float  over  the  assembled  multitudes. 
Frequently  flowers  in  great  profusion  are  strewn 
along  the  way  for  the  officiating  bishop  or  priest 
to  walk  upon.  I  have  gathered  many  a  basket  of 
flowers  from  the  fields  for  these  occasions,  think- 
ing that  God  would  greatly  bless  me  for  the  deed. 
Public  processions  take  place  several  days  in  the 
year,  the  grandest  occurring  on  what  they  call  the 
feast  of  '  Corpus  Christi' — the  body  of  Christ.  At 
this  procession  the  priest,  arrayed  in  the  most 
gorgeous  robes,  carries  a  consecrated  wafer,  which 


\ 


'    I    I 


The  ChurcJi  's  Pillars  of  Strength. 


71 


is  believed  now  to  be  the  real  body  of  Christ,  in  a 
golden  pyx  or  box,  and  walks  under  a  beautiful 
silken  canopy  borne  by  four  men.  He  is  preceded 
by  one  man  with  the  flowers  and  another  with  a 
smoking  censer,  who  walk  l)ackward  so  as  to  face 
the  priest,  casting  the  lluwers  and  swinging  the  cen- 
ser, as  they  keep  time  with  the  music  and  the  mov- 
ing throng.  Now  when  you  consider  that  all  these 
symbols  and  celebrations  are  regarded  as  religious 
services  and  holy  sacrifices,  acceptable  to  God 
and  beneficial  to  souls  here  and  hereafter,  you  will 
not  wonder  that  children  and  thousands  of  adults, 
especially  women,  are  drawn  to  the  Church  by 
them." 

'■  O  how  earnest  and  devoted  Catholics  must  be 
to  do  all  these  things,"  said  Luella. 

"  But  in  what  part  of  the  Bible  do  you  find  that 
God's  people  are  directed  or  instructed  to  wor- 
ship Him  in  any  such  way  "i  "  asked  Aunt  Melie. 

"  We  find  it  in  our  prayer-books,  ma'am,"  said 
Nora ;  "and  can  we  do  too  much  for  God .'' '" 

"  No,  indeed,"  answered  Mrs.  B.,  "  when  we  are 
guided  by  his  blessed  Spirit  and  word.  But  there 
is  a  zeal  which  is  nee  according  to  knowledge,  and 
which  is  injurious.  Jesus  has  taught  us  that  God  is 
a  spirit,  and  that  true  worshipers  must  worship  the 
Father  in   spirit  and  in  truth,  that  is,  in  sincerity, 


■11 


I     I 


i'' 


»|l(:i 


72 


Spiritual   Struggles. 


under  the  guidance  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  and  in  ac- 
cordance with  his  revealed  truth.  All  our  serv- 
ices should  be  simple,  and  thus  adapted  to  all 
classes  of  people — the  poor,  the  ignorant,  the  sick. 
They  ought  to  be  the  natural  outgushings  of  pure 
hearts,  spontaneous  as  the  light  which  ema- 
nates from  the  sun.  silent  yet  glorious ;  or  as  the 
water  which  flows  clear  and  cool  from  bubbling 
springs,  to  refresh  the  flowers  that  grow  along  the 
banks  of  the  brooklet,  and  to  make  the  meadows 
green.  It  is,  above  all  things,  a  pure  heart  that 
Jesus  wants ;  a  heart  in  which  He  may  dwell,  and 
make  it  the  temple  of  the  Holy  Spirit.  All  that 
we  can  do  with  our  hands  or  feet  is  nothing  in  com- 
parison with  the  heart's  pure  adoration  and  love, 
and  that  service  of  '  a  quiet  and  peaceable  life  ' 
which  is  rendered  '  in  all  godliness  and  honesty  ' — 
a  life  which  seeks  to  know  and  then  to  do  the  will 
of  God." 

"  You  speak  beautifully,  ma'am ;  I  wish  I  could 
speak  as  well.  O  how  long  I  have  desired  to  have 
such  a  pure  heart  as  you  speak  of — a  heart  that 
would  love  and  praise  God  as  naturally  as  flowers 
exhale  their  sweet  odors,  or  even  such  a  one  as  I 
thmk  yours  must  be,  which  keeps  you  calm  and 
gentle  in  the  midst  of  care  and  provocation,  and 
gives  you  such  a  happy,  even  temper." 


1 


! 
J 

i 


;-.;     I 


Tlic  ChurcJi  's  Pillars  of  StrcngtJi. 


'3 


Almost  blushing  under  such  an  unexpected  sally 
of  praise,  Mrs.  \\.  responded,  "Why,  Nora,  you 
surprise  me  !  1  would  advise  you  not  to  take  me, 
or  any  other  creature — for  your  model,  but  take, 
Jesus,  who  is  our  only  Saviour,  and  the  perfect 
pattern  of  His  people.  He  will  grant  you  just 
such  a  heart  and  life  as  you  desire,  if  you  seek  it 
with  a  right  spirit." 

Here  looking  at  my  watch  I  found  that  it  was 
about  our  usual  hour  for  retiring.  So  interrupting 
this  interesting  train  of  remarks — though  the  sub- 
ject we  had  been  discussing  was  not  exhausted — 
I  suggested  that  we  must  terminate  our  interview. 
"  But  let  us  first  kneel  down  to  offer  our  evening 
prayer,  and  ask  our  heavenly  Father  for  nis  illu- 
mination and  guidance." 

This  season  of  devotion  was  peculiarly  refresh- 
ing, and  at  its  close  we  repeated  in  concert,  as  we 
always  do,  the  following  little  prayer  : 

"  And  now  we  lay  us  down  to  sleep, 
We  pray  the  Lord  our  souls  to  keep  ; 
And  should  we  die  before  we  wake, 
We  pray  the  Lord  our  souls  to  take. 
And  this  we  ask  for  Jesus*  sake.     Amen." 

Then  the  children,  as  is  their  habit  after  all  our 
family  devotions,  came  each  in  turn  for  their  kiss, 
before  I  rose  from  my  knees;  and  when  Mary  had 


f(  'II 


74 


SiMRiTUAL    Struggles. 


||!'!l| 


embraced  me,  she  naively  said,  while  yet  the  storm 
was  howling  terribly  without : 

*'  Father,  the  Lord  can  keep  us,  can't  he,  al- 
though the  night  is  so  dark  and  stormy?  " 

"  C),  yes,  my  child;  he  keeps  even  the  little 
birds  and  insects  to-night,  so  that  not  one  of  them 
can  suffer  or  fall  without  his  notice.  I  can  trust 
you  in  the  care  of  Him  to  '  whom  the  darkness  and 
the  light  are  both  alike.'     And  now  good-night," 

As  they  withdrew  through  the  hall  I  heard 
Luella  repeating  to  the  others  a  few  lines  of  a  fav- 
orite hymn  from  the  pen  of  Henry  Kirke  White: 

"  Ye  winds  of  night,  your  force  combine, 

Without  His  high  behest, 
Ye  shall  not,  in  the  mountain  pine, 

Disturb  the  sparrow's  nest. 

"  His  voice  sublime  is  heard  afar  ; 

In  distant  peals  .      ies  ; 
He  yokes  the  whirlwind  to  his  car, 

And  sweeps  the  howling  skies." 


V-  /■'! 


I  m  ■  '■■ 


/ 


TJie  ChurclL  's  Pillars  nf  Strength.         75 


) 


IV. 


PILLARS    OF    STRENGTH DEBATE. 

And  he  causeth  all,  both  small  and  great,  rich  and  poor, 
free  and  bond,  to  receive  a  mark  in  their  right  hand,  or  in 
their  foreheads. — Apocalypse. 

TtiE  week  had  glided  by  without  any  special 
incident,  save  that  a  deepening  religious 
feeling  was  observable  in  all,  particularly  in  Nora, 
who  seemed  to  hail  the  seasons  of  family  prayers 
with  much  more  than  her  former  interest.  When 
she  first  came  to  live  with  us  she  appeared  even 
loth  to  hear  us  read  the  Bible  lessons,  but  now 
she  gladly  participated  with  us  in  the  pleasing  ex- 
ercise ;  and  when  the  Sabbath  afternoon  came,  in- 
stead of  going  to  vespers,  as  she  used  to  do,  she 
was  one  of  the  first  to  repair  to  my  study  to  ar- 
range things  for  our  meeting  there. 

Or.  assembling  this  time  I  told  them  that  I  had 
already  described  two  of  the  leading  elements  of 
power  in  the  Church,  answering  to  the  two  lead- 
ing senses  in  the  human  body,  namely,  seei  ig  and 
hearing,  for  the  eye  is  delighted  tc  beL^id  the 
svmbols  with  which  the  Church  is  filled,  and  the 
ear  is  charmed  in  listening  to  her  instruments  of 


fc.    r      »  j< 

1  '     ■       ' 

1  '  ' 

\    ■■  ■ 

i  ■ 

1 

li  ». 


3' 


!'; 


;ii! 


;6 


Spiritual   Struggles. 


music  and  cultured  voices ;  but  that  the  third  ele- 
ment of  strength  answers  very  nearly  to  feeling. 
It  is  this  :  T/ie  Church  ingeniously  furnishes  to  every 
one  of  her  members^  old  and  youngs  good^  bad,  and 
indifferent,  so?nething  considered  religious  to  do  or 
bear  in  nearly  all  her  services,  and  every  day  of  life. 

"What  does  she  give  children  to  do?  "asked 
Johnnie,  who  is  always  ready  to  act  as  well  as  to 
think.     "  Does  she  let  them  sing  ?  " 

"  Most  certainly ;  their  choirs  are  largely  made 
up  of  children,  and  thus  become  the  more  attract- 
ive. But  then  this  is  not  all  they  let  the  children 
do.  When  a  large  cross  was  consecrated  and 
erected  at  Henry ville,  I  carried  a  beauti^^l  cruci- 
fix which  my  mother  had  purchased  for  me;  and 
there  was  scarcely  a  child  or  adult  but  had  either 
a  crucifix,  or  a  medal,  or  a  prayer-book,  or  a 
string  of  rosary  beads,  or  a  scapular." 

"  What  do  you  mean  by  this  last  'i "  again  in- 
quired Johnnie. 

"  I  shall  have  to  tell  you  some  other  time,  at 
least  if  you  can  wait." 

"  Certainly ;  but  what  did  you  do  with  those 
things  there  .''  " 

"  When  the  bishop  sprinkled  the  great  cross  with 
holy  water,  and  afterward  the  multitudes,  these  cru- 
cifixes and   other  things  were  held   out  so  as  to 


I 


d 


The  Church  's  Pillars  of  Strength.         77 

receive  at  least  a  drop  of  the  water,  after  which 
they  were  said  to  be  endowed  with  great  spiritual, 
and  even  miraculous,  power.  For  instance,  if  any 
one  was  taken  suddenly  and  dangerously  ill,  the 
crucifix  would  be  laid  on  his  breast  until  the  par- 
ish priest  arrived  to  administer  what  they  call  the 
'sacrament  of  extreme  unction.'  The  crucifix 
was  supposed  to  have  power  to  prolong  the  life  of 
the  invalid,  at  least  until  the  priest's  arrival. 

"  My  mother  used  to  talk  to  us  for  hours  about 
the  miracles  performed  by  these  and  other  sacred 
relics.  Our  prayer-books  and  books  of  instruction 
were  also  full  of  these  accounts.  The  crucifix  I 
carried  on  the  day  referred  to  was  sacredly  pre- 
served in  the  family  for  at  least  a  score  of  years, 
and  was  always  resorted  to  in  hours  of  trouble  and 
danger." 

"  But,  father,  are  these  the  only  occasions  in 
which  every  one  can  do  something  which  is  con- 
sidered especially  pious  .''  "  asked  Luella. 

"  No,  indeed.  At  least  once  a  year,  on  Maun- 
dy-Thursday of  Passion  Week,  (the  last  week  of 
Lent,)  the  same  day  on  which  the  pope  and  bishops 
consecrate  the  holy  chrism,  or  oil  of  olives  and 
balm  of  Gilead,  as  they  say  it  is,  a  large  tub  or 
hogshead  of  pure  water  is  brought  into  the 
church." 


■  1 

1 
t  ■ 

llii 

i 

t 


■11 


I    I 


78 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


"  O  how  funny  !  "  exclaimed  Mary.  "  Do  they 
bring  it  there  to  swim  in,  father?  " 

"  Why  no,  my  child.  It  is  brought  there  to  be 
made  into  /lo/y  water'' 

"  I  should  like  to  know  how  that  is  done,"  ob- 
served Luella. 

"  I  will  try  to  tell  you.  The  priest  and  his  at- 
tendants gather  around  the  tub  or  vessel,  sing  Latin 
hymns,  and  repeat  prayers  and  litanies  ;  then  he 
casts  a  little  salt,  previously  exorcised  by  solemn 
ceremony,  into  the  water  saying,  '  I  exorcise  thee, 
O  creature  of  water,  in  the  name  of  God  the  Fa- 
ther Almighty,  and  in  the  name  of  Jesus  Christ  His 
Son  our  Lord,  and  in  the  virtue  of  the  Holy  Ghost, 
that  thou  mayest  by  this  exorcism  have  power  to 
chase  away  all  the  power  of  the  enemy ;  that  thou 
mayest  be  enabled  to  cast  him  out  and  put  him  to 
flight,  with  all  his  apostate  angels,  by  the  virtue  of 
the  same  Jesus  Christ  our  Lord,  who  is  to  come  to 
judge  the  living  and  the  dead,  and  the  world  by 
fire.     Amen.'"* 

''  But  what  do  they  mean  by  the  word  exorcism  ?  " 

"I  will  give  you  the  definition  of  the  Church: 

'  The  rites  and  prayers  instituted  by  the  Church 

for  casting  out   devils,  or  restraining  them  from 

hu'-ting  persons,  disquieting  places,  or  abusing  any 

*  Dr.  Challoner's  "Catholic  Instructed,"  p.  203. 


The  CJuu'cJl  's  Pillars  of  Strength.         79 


of  God's  creatures  to  our  harm.'  When  the  above 
prayers  have  been  duly  repeated,  the  water  is 
pronounced  holy." 

"What  do  they  do  with  this  water .''"  inquired 
Johnnie. 

"  The  uses  are  various.  Some  is  kept  in  a  font 
by  the  church  door  for  every  one  who  enters  or 
retires  to  sprinkle  himself  Avith  ;  the  altar  and  the 
people  are  sprinkled  with  it  at  the  beginning  of 
mass ;  it  is  sprinkled  upon  the  coffins  and  graves 
of  the  dead  ;  on  the  ashes  used  on  Ash-Wednes- 
day ;  on  the  ring  used  at  marriage  ceremonies, 
and  on  persons  consecrated  to  any  special  religious 
purpose.  It  is  also  employed  in  the  baptism  of 
persons  and  things  considered  sacred,  such  as 
church  bells,  candles  or  tapers  for  the  altar,  or  to 
burn  by  the  side  of  the  dead;  and  the  sick-room 
is  usuallv  well  furnished  with  it. 

"  On  the  days  when  it  is  made  every  family,  and 
sometimes  every  member  of  the  family,  brings  a 
bottle  or  vial,  which  is  filled  witli  the  consecrated 
element ;  and  every  home  is  thus  supplied.  It  is 
recommended  by  the  authorities,  as  you  might  in- 
fer from  the  prayer  of  conseciation,  as  being  very 
sacred,  and  securing  God's  protection  and  blessing 
upon  those  who  use  it ;  and,  like  the  crucifixes  and 
other  things  mentioned   before,  it   is  believed  to 


t 


m 


m 


i 


it  ■ 


80 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


have  power  to  work  miracles,  particularly  upon 
those  occasions  when  it  is  used  against  magical 
enchantments  and  the  power  of  the  devil."* 

"  O,  it  is  only  tlie  ignorant  and  superstitious  who 
believe  in  such  trinkets,"  said  Nora,  who  had  been 
quiet  for  some  time,  but  now  felt  herself  called 
out  to  vindicate  her  Church. 

"  You  forget,  I  fear,  Nora,  that  these  '  trinkets,' 
as  you  style  them,  are  things  solemnly  consecrat- 
ed by  bishops  and  priests  who  teach  the  people  in 
their  Catechisms  that  they  are  important,  and 
should  be  used  in  their  devotions.  It  is  rather 
the  unbelieving  who  refuse  to  accept  or  use  them." 

"You  are  right,  I  must  confess,"  she  replied; 
"  I  know  it,  though  I  earnestly  wish  it  were  oth- 
erwise." 

"  On  Palm-Sunday,"  I  continued,  "  the  first  day 
of  Passion  Week,  there  is  another  great  procession, 
the  streets  having  been  previously  adorned  with 
evergreens.  Bishop  Fenwick  tells  us  that  this  is 
in  honor  of  our  Lord's  triumphant  entry  into  Jeru- 
salem, and  is  so  called  from  the  palm  branches 
strewed  under  his  feet  by  the  Hebrew  children. 
On  this  day  the  Church  blesses  palms,  that  is, 
sprinkles  them  with  holy  water,  and  makes  a  sol- 
emn procession,  in  memory  of  the  triumph  of  our 

*  Rt.  Rev.  Bp.  Fenwick's  "Catholic  Catechism,"  p.  82. 


f 


f, 


The  Church 's  Pillars  of  Strength,         8 1 


Saviour,  the  people  bearing  palm  branches.  Thus, 
besides  participating  in  the  procession,  every  one, 
old  and  young,  carries  a  twig  of  spruce,  hemlock, 
or  pine,  as  a  part  of  the  religious  ceremony.  After 
the  sprig  is  sprinkled,  it  is  taken  home  and  care- 
fully preserved." 

"But what  good  does  it  do.?  "  inquired  Johnnie. 

"  The  people  are  taught  that  it  is  a  sure  protec- 
tion from  injury  by  the  elements  as  well  as  from 
the  attacks  of  Satan.  I  well  recollect  when,  at 
the  beginning  of  such  a  storm  as  prevailed  last 
Sabbath,  my  mother  would  say  to  us,  ''Apportez  le 
ratneau^' — bring  the  branch ;  and  then  plucking 
the  leaflets  she  would  put  them  into  our  hair,  and 
piously  sprinkle  us  with  holy  water;  and  then  at 
every  gleam  of  lightning  we  made  the  sign  of  the 
cross  upon  ourselves,  and  felt  perfectly  secure. 
Many  Catholics  believe  that  these  things  will  often 
divert  storms  from  their  destined  course,  and  also 
quench  the  violence  of  fire." 

"  How  is  it,  then,"  inquired  Johnnie, ''  that  Cath- 
olic countries  even  more,  I  think,  than  Protestant, 
are  so  frequently  visited  with  dreadful  storms, 
hurricanes,  and  earthquakes;  and  that  fires  are  so 
prevalent  in  Catholic  cities,  often  burning  their 
churches  and  schools,  as  was  the  case  in  Montreal, 

July,  8th  and  9th,  1852,  as  I  remember  reading.? 
6 


82 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


'M 


I  f ;  .1: 


' 

iJ 

The  destruction  u-as  terrible,  and  mostly  of  Cath- 
lic  property." 

"  Look  right  at  home,"  added  Luella.  "  You 
remember  how  lightning  struck  one  of  the  turrets 
of  St.  Joseph's  Church,  and  damaged  the  building, 
while  no  other  church  was  touched.  And  also  in 
the  terrible  calamity  that  laid  Chicago  in  ashes, 
but  a  few  weeks  ago.  Catholic  churches  and  con- 
vents formed  no  barrier  to  the  tide  of  fire  which 
swept  them  away."  Then  turning  to  Nora  she 
said,  *'  And  what  do  you  think  about  these  facts, 
which  you  know  as  well  as  the  rest  of  us.'  " 

"Like  most  children."  answered  Nora,  appear- 
ing a  little  provoked,  "  you  ask  more  questions 
than  any  /^ody  cRu  answer.  At  the  same  time  I  am 
led  to  susj)ect  that  there  is  a  great  deal  of  hollow 
pretense  in  the  Church." 

"  Be  this  as  it  may,"  I  interrupted,  "  you  can 
see  what  power  these  teachings  exercise  over  the 
people,  as  they  constantly  participate  in  such 
services  at  home  and  at  church.  This  was  espe- 
cially the  case  with  our  family.  My  parents  were 
not  only  prominent  and  devoted  members  of  the 
Church,  but  my  father  was  for  many  years  a  lead- 
ing singer  in  the  choir,  and  also  belonged  to  the 
board  of  *  syndics,'  or  officers  of  the  Church.  To 
complete  our  attachment,  your  Uncle  Charles  and 


i^'.ti 


i 


I 


e 
h 


le 
|o 


The  Chun  J L  's  Pillars  of  Strength.         "^i 

myself  were  put  into  the  choir — made  enfants  de 
chmir^  or  altar-boys,  as  we  were  called — where  we 
not  only  sang,  but  frcciucntly  took  our  turns  in 
waiting  on  the  priest  during  mass  and  vespers. 
We  were  dressed  in  long  flowing  gowns  ;  and  if  you 
will  look  at  the  pictures  in  Bishop  Fenwick's  Cat- 
echism, beginning  at  page  92,  you  will  see  what 
we  mainly  had  to  do.  We  engaged  in  those  cere- 
monies with  great  devotion.  It  required  long  and 
tedious  training  to  learn  the  Latin  service,  with 
its  many  responses,  not  a  word  of  which  we  un- 
derstood ;  and  also  to  know  at  what  time  to  raise 
the  trail  of  the  priest's  chasuble ;  to  ring  a  little 
bell ;  to  bow  here  and  go  there  ;  to  give  the  priest 
his  portion  of  wine ;  then  water  to  wash  his  fin- 
gers in  imitation  of  Pilate,  and  to  perform  our  part 
in  the  varying  scenes  of  this  long  religious  drama. 
But  having  learned  these  things  thoroughly  we 
were  the  more  punctual  in  our  attendance  at 
church,  for  whole  months  together,  going  every 
day.  Low  mass,  as  it  is  called,  is  celebrated 
every  morning  of  week  days  throughout  the 
year,  except  on  Good  Friday,  and  high  mass  on 
Sundays.  Low  mass  is  sometimes  celebrated  on 
Sunday  also.  The  latter  is  simply  spoken,  and 
sometimes  so  rapidly,  especially  by  some  priests, 
that  you  can  distinguish  only  a  continuous  buzz ; 


■1: 
( , 


hun 


'iff- 


84 


Spiritual   Struggles. 


but  the  former  is  sung  or  chanted  by  the  priest 
and  the  whole  choir  in  very  grand  style." 

"  I  would  certainly  like  to  attend  the  services 
you  have  been  describing,"  said  I.uella.  "  Wont 
you  take  me  to  them  sometime?  " 

"  And  wont  you  take  we  too  ?  "  asked  Johnnie. 

"  And  me  too,  f^ither  ?  "  followed  Mary. 

*'  Yes,  children,  at  the  very  first  opportunity  you 
shall  see  for  yourselves  at  least  some  of  the  things 
I  have  attempted  to  describe;  and  if  I  can't  go 
with  you,  perhaps  Nora  will  be  willing  to  go  in  my 
place." 

"  I  don't  know  abouc  that,"  replied  Nora,  with 
a  peculiar  twinkle  in  her  eyes.  "Your  talk 
makes  me  feel  almost  ashamed  of  the  whole 
thing;  and  then  if  I  should  take  the  children, 
I'm  a  little  afraid  they  might  ask  me  too  many 
questions." 

"Never  mind  now;  we'll  try  to  make  this  all 
right  somehow."  Having  called  their  attention 
from  this  thing,  I  said, 

"  I  want  to  mention  now  another  element  of 
power  in  the  Church,  t/ie  mystery  with  which  she  in- 
vests every  religious  subject ^ 

"  Is  it  not  true,"  asked  Nora,  "  that  religion  is  a 
very  mysterious  thing  "i  " 

"  I  admit  that  in  revelation,  as  in  nature,  there 


TJic  ChurcJi's  Pillars  of  Stirngt/i,         85 


4 
I 


are  many  mysteries  ;  but  there  are  also  many  things 
which  can  be  well  known  and  understood.  For 
instance,  who  can  solve  the  mystery  of  nutrition 
even  ?  Who  can  tell  us  how  food  taken  into  the 
stomach  becomes  blood,  bones,  nerves,  muscles, 
tissues,  nails,  hair,  etc.  }  Yet  who  does  not  know 
and  cannot  tell  us  when  his  hunger  is  satisfied  and 
his  body  strengthened  by  nourishment  .'^  Thus  the 
known  and  the  unknown  go  hand  in  hand  all  the 
way  through  the  operations  of  nature.  The  same 
is  true  in  revelation,  showing  the  God  of  the  one 
to  be  the  God  of  the  other  also.  But  the  Catholic 
Church  makes  no  such  distinction  as  nature  and 
revelation  indicate.  She  robes  every  phase  of  re- 
ligion in  profound  mystery,  forgetting  that  while 
it  is  true  that  we  cannot  know  every  thing  about 
any  thing,  it  is  equally  true  that  we  may  positively 
know  something  about  every  thing.  Hence  she  says, 
'  Away  with  your  reason  when  you  come  into  the 
temple  of  God  !  '  To  add  force  to  this  teaching 
she  worships  in  an  unknown  tongue  :  she  compli- 
cates her  system  with  numerous  classes  of  priests 
and  '  religious,'  male  and  female,  each  with  its 
strange  and  mystic  garb,  making  them  appear  like 
different  orders  of  beings  from  the  common  peo- 
ple;  and  when  science,  however  strongly  in- 
trenched, contradicts  her  theories,  she  blindly  re- 


IMAGE  EVALUATION 
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86 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


jects  the  known  truth  for  her  favorite  mysteries 
Recall  tlie  history  of  Galileo  and  hundreds  of 
others.  But  God  addresses  man  thus,  *  Come 
now,  and  let  us  reason  together.'  There  must, 
therefore,  be  sotne  religious  subjects  which  the  rea- 
son can  grapple  with  and  ought  to  solve.  '  Prove 
all  things,'  says  Paul,  *  hold  fast  that  which  is 
good.' " 

"  Our  priests  tell  us  that  we  must  believe  and 
receive  all  that  they  teach  us  without  asking  any 
questions  for  conscience'  sake,"  remarked  Nora, 
"  because,  they  say,  he  who  questions  shows  doubts, 
and  the  Scriptures  declare  that  '  he  tnat  doubteth 
is  damned.' " 

"  This  is  a  favorite  text  of  theirs,  I  know,  and 
their  comment  upon  it  is  drawn  from  the  Saviour's 
own  words  to  doubting  Thomas,  '  Blessed  are  they 
that  have  not  seen  and  yet  have  believed.*  Bishop 
Fenwick,  in  his  Catechism,  is  heard  asking  the 
children  of  his  diocese,  (Boston,  Mass.,) 

"  '  How  shall  we  know  the  things  which  we  are 
to  believe  } ' 

"  ^Answer.  From  the  Catholic  Church  of  God, 
which  he  has  established  by  innumerable  miracles, 
and  illustrated  by  the  lives  and  deaths  of  innu- 
merables  saints.' 

*'And  further  on  he  asks  again: — 


The  Church 's  Pillars  of  Strength.         87 


"'Are  we  bound  to  obey  the  commandments  of 
the  Church  ? ' 

"  *  Yes  ;  because  Christ  has  said  to  the  pastors 
of  his  Church,  He  that  heareth  you  heareth  me  ; 
and  he  that  despiseth  you  despiseth  me.'  " 

"Are  not  all  these  things  in  the  Bible?"  asked 
Nora. 

"Certainly;  but  we  are  to  exercise  our  reason 
as  to  what  Church  has  the  Divine  authority  to 
command  and  to  teach,  for  Christ  said,  '  Ye  shall 
know  them  by  their  works,  as  trees  are  known  by 
their  fruits;'  and  even  then  we  are  not  to  receive 
their  doctrines  with  a  thoughtless  assent,  or  with- 
out the  closest  scrutiny.  Each  member  of  the 
Church  has  a  duty  here,  as  well  as  his  instruc- 
tors; he  must  know  these  things  for  himself,  at 
least  as  far  as  experimental  and  practical  religion 
is  concerned.  Every  true  believer  will  admit  that 
there  is  much  mystery  as  to  the  sources  or  causes 
of  redemption,  yet  nothing  is  plainer  from  Script- 
ure, or  more  clearly  exemplified  in  the  experience 
of  thousands  of  Christians,  than  that  he  who  ac- 
cepts pardon  may  knoiv  it,  so  that  it  becomes  at 
last  a  matter  of  experience.  Paul  says,  'And 
without  controversy  great  is  the  mystery  of  godli- 
ness :  God  was  manifest  in  the  flesh,  justified  in  the 
Spirit,  seen  of  angels,  preached  unto  the  Gentiles, 


88 


Spiritual   Struggles. 


Ni; 


believed  on  in  the  worlds  received  up  into  glory.* 
Here  we  have  the  incarnation  of  Christ  as  a  glori- 
ous mystery,  but  his  manifestation  was  well  known 
to  angels  and  to  men,  challenging  the  admiration 
of  the  former  and  the  faith  of  the  latter.  And 
Peter,  writing  to  his  brethren  of  Christ,  says : 
'  Whom  having  not  seen  ye  love  ;  in  whom,  though 
now  ye  see  him  not,  yet  believing,  ye  rejoice  with 
jo}"  unspeakable  and  full  of  glory,  receiving  (now) 
the  end  of  your  faith,  even  the  salvation  of  your 
souls.'  Here  we  see  the  true  meaning  of  the  text, 
'  Blessed  are  they  that  have  not  seen  and  yet  have 
believed.*  It  is  believing  in  Christ,  and  not  in 
men." 

"Why,  father,"  said  Johnnie,  "your  talk  re- 
minds me  of  telegraphing;  you  know  how  mys- 
terious all  the  operations  are,  but  the  messages  are 
easily  understood." 

"  The  Scriptures  are  full  of  this  thought.  The 
young  man  born  blind,  speaking  of  Christ  to  the 
Pharisees,  who  were  questioning  him  about  his 
recovery,  exclaimed,  'Whether  he  be  a  sinner 
or  no,  I  know  not,'  that  is  a  mystery  to  me  ;  '  one 
thing  I  know,  that  whereas  I  was  blind,  now 
I  see.'" 

"  May  we  know  it  for  sure  ? "  inquired  Nora 
longingly. 


*  ! 


2 he  CliurcJi  's  Pillars  of  Strength.         89 


"Yes,  indeed,"  responded  two  or  three  voices  in 
the  room. 

"  Job  said,"  I  added,  "  *  I  know  that  my  Re- 
deemer liveth.'  Paul :  '  I  know  whom  I  have  be- 
lieved.* John:  'We  know  that  we  have  passed 
from  death  unto  life.'  This  is  the  uniform  and 
universal  testimony  of  the  word  of  God.  But  the 
teaching  of  the  Catholic  Church  upon  this  point 
has  its  designed  efiect.  She  seems  to  regard  the 
common  people  as  a  herd  of  imbeciles,  and  by  her 
treatment  reduces  many  of  them  to  mere  automa- 
tons. We  had  a  good  illustration  of  this  a  few 
days  ago.  The  following  conversation  took  place 
between  a  Protestant  drayman  and  a  Catholic  coal- 
heaver  : — 

"  •  Patrick,  what  do  you  believe } ' 

"  *  B'lave,  shure,'  replied  Patrick,  *  I  b'lave  what 
the  Catholic  Church  b'laves.' 

"  *  Well,  Patrick,  what  does  the  Church  be- 
I  eve } ' 

Shure,  man,  the  Church  b'laves  what  I  b'lave.' 
Now,  Patrick,  what  do  you  both  believe  1 ' 
Well,  by  me  sovvl,  sir,  we  both  b'lave  alike.' " 

"  This  is  implicit  faith.  Thus  the  Church  steals 
away  the  brains  of  her  people  and  stultifies  them. 
She  quenches  in  them  all  desire  to  use  their  rea- 
««oning  faculties  on   religious  subjects,  while  she 


(( ( 


« ( 


(( ( 


90 


Spiritual   Struggles. 


It 


, 


invests  herself,  and  especially  the  priesthood,  with 
an  undefined,  mysterious  power  which  is  almost 
omnipotent  with  the  masses  of  her  people." 

"  If  indeed  the  Catholic  Church  is  wrong,"  said 
Nora  thoughtfully,  *'  how  shall  poor  sinners  learn 
where  to  go  among  so  many  different  Protestant 
Churches?" 

"  Your  question  reminds  me  of  another  great 
element  of  power  in  your  Church,  which,  as  I  shall 
explain  it,  will,  I  trust,  throw  some  light  upon  this 
subject,  and  that  is  her  boasted  unity  as  against 
Protestant  sectarianism.  She  brandishes  before 
the  nations  the  beautiful  Latin  tongue  which  she 
employs  in  all  her  services,  endeavoring  thereby 
to  impress  them  with  the  belief  that  all  her  people, 
or  those  who  hold  to  her  general  confession  of 
faith,  are  one  in  feeling,  in  doctrine,  in  practice. 
On  the  other  hand,  she  affirms  that  Protestants 
are  divided  into  numberless  petty  sects  or  denom- 
inations, as  antagonistic  to  each  other  as  they  are 
to  the  Roman  Catholic  Church,  and  that  the  Prot- 
estant world  is  as  much  confused  as  was  ancient 
Babel.  *  According  to  their  own  teaching,'  she 
says,  *  there  must  be  an  Episcopalian  God,  a  Pres- 
byterian God,  a  Methodist  God,  and  a  Baptist  God, 
certainly  as  many  deities  as  there  are  sects;*  and 
she  asserts  that  the  most  charitable  conclusion  to 


Tlie  Church  's  Pillars  of  Strength.         9 1 


be  drawn  is,  that  Protestantism  is  a  grand  relig- 
ious farce,  or  a  horrible  rebellion  against  God, 
adapted  to  satisfy  the  caprice  of  vicious,  designing 
men." 

"  But  what  are  the  facts  in  the  case  ?  "  asked 
Aunt  Melie. 

"  Here  they  are :  that  the  differences  among 
Protestants  are  so  slight  as  scarcely  to  be  worth 
mentioning;  that  they  generally  relate  to  Church 
government  or  discipline,  and  not  to  doctrines ; 
and  that  these  differences  are  far  less  than  those 
found  in  the  organization  of  the  different  societies, 
confraternities,  or  sodalities,  etc.,  of  monks  and 
nuns,  or  '  brothers  *  and  *  sisters,'  in  the  Catholic 
Church.  Our  Protestant  denominations  may  well 
be  compared  to  the  different  tribes  of  Israel,  or  to 
the  different  regiments  of  an  army,  each  with  ics 
peculiar  badges  or  insignia,  its  peculiar  uniform 
and  equipment,  suited  to  the  arm  of  service  to 
which  it  belongs,  but  all  under  the  commaiid  of 
one  General,  actuated  by  one  common  impulse 
and  motive,  and  accomplishing  one  great  work. 
In  proof  of  this  statement  I  cite  the  general  or- 
ganizations to  which  all  evangelical  denominations 
belong,  such  as  the  American  and  Foreign  Chris- 
tian Union,  the  American  Bible  Society,  the 
Evangelical  Alliance,  and  the  Young  Men's  Chris- 


I 


:'  i 


■■1 


i  ;     'I 


.'I:     ;i 


92 


Spiritual  Strugglks. 


tian  Associations,  Here  is  still  more  convincing 
proof,  in  the  fact  that  our  religious  services  are  at- 
tended by  members  of  all  denominations  indis- 
criminately ;  that  ministers  of  different  Churches 
exchange  pulpit  labors ;  and  that  many  of  the 
members  of  some  Churches  were  converted  at  the 
altars  of  others,  and  vice  versa. 

*'  Furthermore,  every  careful  reader  of  the  times 
can  see  that  while  Protestants  are  becominr^  more 
and  more  alike  in  their  principles  and  spirit.  Cath- 
olics, on  the  other  hand,  are  becoming  more  and 
more  unlike  each  other.  Witness  the  dissensions 
and  divisions  among  Catholics  during  the  discus- 
sions, and  since  the  proclamation,  of  the  dogma 
of  the  Pope's  infallibility.  This  doctrine  has  fallen 
among  them  as  a  bone  of  contention,  though  the 
mc.sses  had  long  been  trained  for  its  reception. 
This  was  the  case  also  with  the  doctrine  of  the 
Virgin  Mary's  immaculate  conception.  The  doc- 
trine that  the  Pope  is  infallible  was  taught  me 
more  than  thirty  years  ago.  I  was  told  that  the 
priest  receives  his  power  from  the  bishop,  he  from 
the  archbishop,  this  from  the  cardinal,  and  the  last 
from  the  Pope." 

*'  But  where  does  the  Pope  get  his  power  from  }  " 
inquired  Johnnie,  who  is  always  anxious  to  probe 
things  to  the  bottom. 


The  Church  's  Pillars  of  Strength.         93 


**  Directly  from  God,  with  whom,  I  was  taught, 
he  communicated  at  least  once  a  year  by  means  of 
a  letter." 

"O  how  I  would  like  to  be  the  Pope's  post-boy 
then  !  "  he  jokingly  added,  causing  a  little  laughter. 

"  But  now,  while  some  countries  and  prelates 
accept  the  doctrine,  many  reject  it,  notwithstand- 
ing the  appeals  and  threats  made  to  them ;  until 
at  last  the  Pope  hurls  his  dreadful  anathema  at  no 
less  a  scholar  and  Christian  than  Dr.  Von  Dollin- 
ger,  of  Bavaria,  whose  o})position  is  sustained  by  the 
leading  universities  and  professors  of  his  own  and 
other  lands.  Thus  a  party  of  'Old  Catholics,'  as 
they  very  correctly  call  themselves,  is  forming, 
which  threatens  the  Roman  Catholic  Church  with 
dismemberment  and  discomfiture,  at  least  in 
Germany." 

"  The  sky  reddens  with  wrath,"  said  Aunt  Melie, 
"against  the  Pope  and  his  party  in  Europe." 

"  It  is  true,"  I  added,  "  for  even  Catholic  Italy, 
by  a  unanimity  of  voice  and  vote  seldom  paralleled 
in  the  history  of  nations,  ejects  the  sovereign  (?) 
pontiff  from  the  throne  of  his  regal  power,  against 
his  most  solemn  protests  and  warnings.  They 
persist  in  their  course  like  one  who  tries  to  slough 
off  from  his  vitals  a  deadly,  putrid  cancer,  not- 
withstanding the  pleadings  of  C.^'tholic  France,  for 


94 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


so  many  years  the  mainstay  of  the  Pope,  but  now, 
through  her  own  arrogance,  most  pitifully  humbled 
in  her  unsuccessful  contest  with  Protestant  Prus- 
sia. Italy  has  not  even  heeded  the  prayers  of 
Catholics  in  America,  who  paraded  our  streets  in 
mammoth  processions,  and  were  harangued  on  the 
subject  by  their  leading  men  in  their  grand  churches 
and  cathedrals.  There  is  no  union  of  heart  be- 
tween different  Catholic  nations,  but  rather  en- 
mity, as,  for  instance,  between  the  French  and 
Irish  in  this  country.  And  yet  you  must  remem- 
ber that  all  these  schisms  are  occurring  among  a 
people  who  boast  of  being  governed  by  one  head, 
and  in  whose  Catechisms  we  are  told  that  '  the 
Pope  is  the  Bishop  of  Rome,  the  first  of  bishops, 
the  Successor  of  St.  Peter,  the  Vicar  of  Jesus 
Christ  on  earth,  the  center  of  Catholic  unity,  and 
visible  Chief  of  the  Church.'  * 

"  On  the  other  hand,  the  oneness  of  Protestants 
is  not  derived  from  any  centralization  of  power  in 
one  man  or  a  select  few,  but  they  are  drawn  to- 
gether by  their  common  attachment  to  the  truth 
of  God — by  the  unifying  influence  of  a  pure  Chris- 
tianity. It  is  the  *  unity  of  the  Spirit  in  the  bond  of 
peace.'  If  this  was  not  strictly  true  of  Protestants 
in  the  distant  past,  it  is  true  of  them  to-day  ;  and 
*  I'etit  Catochisme.  p.  24. 


The  Church  's  Pillars  of  Strength.         95 

may  it  please  the  Lord  to  make  it  true,  sooner  or 
later,  of  a?.I  the  nations  and  peoples  who  profess 
the  Christian  name  !  " 

"Amen!  "  responded  my  auditors,  whose  inter- 
est had  waxed  stronger  as  I  advanced  with  my 
argument. 

At  this  interesting  point  of  our  discussion  our 
door-bell  was  rung,  and  a  messenger,  who  had  come 
m  great  haste,  announced  that  one  of  our  Sunday- 
school  scholars  having  been  taken  suddenly  ill, 
was  lying  apparently  at  the  point  of  death  and  was 
very  anxious  to  see  me.  So,  leaving  my  company, 
I  hastened  to  relieve,  as  far  as  possible,  the  wants 
of  the  dying  scholar. 


rrr 


H 


i      I 


ill    .1 


y6 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


V. 

TO    WHOM    SHALL    I    CONFESS    MY    SINS? — 

MONSIEUR   G. 

If  we  confess  our  sins,  He  is  faithful  and  just  to  forgive  us 
our  sins,  and  to  cleanse  us  from  all  unrighteousness. — John. 

THE  week  had  bt^ii  eventful.  With  the  chil- 
dren and  their  mother  I  had  visited  St. 
Joseph's  Catholic  Church,  where  we  spent  some 
time  in  interesting  observation  and  study.  Mean- 
while we  had  formed  what  seemed  to  be,  especial- 
ly at  this  time,  a  providential  acquaintance,  under 
the  following  circumstances.  One  evening  I  re- 
ceived a  letter  from  a  ministerial  brother  in  a 
neighboring  parish  which  ran  thus  : — 

"  Dear  Brother  : — Your  help  is  very  much 
needed.  A  French  Catholic,  a  young  man  of  in- 
telligence and  refinement,  called  on  me  last  night 
to  ask  me  some  questions  about  his  and  our  re- 
ligion. He  says  he  felt  well  enough  till  he  got 
hold  of  a  Bible,  since  which  time  he  has  had  no 
peace  of  mind.  About  two  weeks  ago  he  thought 
he  would  become  insane  if  he  did  not  get  help.  I 
talked  and  prayed  with  him,  and  gave  him  Wesley's 


To  WJiom  shall  I  Confess  my  Sins  ?       97 

Sermons  and  Peck's  Rule  of  Faith  as  the  best 
books  I  could  think  of  in  my  possession,  and  told 
him  of  you.  His  eye  brightened  when  I  told  him 
I  would  go  with  him  to  see  you.  He  is  anxious 
to  come  immediately.  .  .  . 

"Yours  fraternally,  J.  K.  VV." 

The  young  man's  name  and  place  of  business 
were  given,  and  an  answer  was  desired  to  inform 
them  when  I  would  be  home  with  leisure  to  meet 
them.  But  I  was  too  much  interested  in  the  case 
to  w'  * '  for  the  return  of  mail,  so  I  went  early  the 
next  morning  and  found  him.  His  name  is  Charles 
Willie  G.  Though  thoroughly  educ:  ed  in  the 
College  of  the  Jesuits  in  Montreal,  and,  up  to  the 
time  of  his  getting  a  Bible,  only  a  few  months  ago, 
passionately  devoted  to  the  Church,  with  an  uncle 
in  the  priesthood  and  all  his  family  in  the  faith,  I 
found  him  grasping  evangelical  teaching  with  won- 
derful eagerness,  and  resolved  at  any  cost  to  seek 
the  truth  as  it  is  in  Jesus.  He  assured  me  that  all 
the  efforts  of  his  priest  to  turn  his  mind  from 
this  direction  only  drove  him  further  from  that 
Church. 

Our  interview  was  mutually  agreeable,  and  he 
promised  to  spend  a  Lord's  day  with  me,  request- 
ing the  privilege  of  participating  with  the  family 
1 


98 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


ik' 


I 


;[ 


in  our  afternoon  seance  in  my  study,  as  I  had  not 
failed  to  inform  him  of  our  arrangement.  This 
privilege  was  readily  granted,  and  when  the  time 
arrived  his  presence  among  us  added  much  to  the 
enthusiasm  already  kindled.  His  language,  though 
chaste,  was  nevertheless  considerably  broken  ;  and 
when  he  failed  to  express  his  views  with  sufficient 
clearness  in  English,  he  would  politely  ask  the 
ladies  to  excuse  him,  while  he  took  the  liberty  of 
speaking  to  me  in  his  "  belle  langue  Franqaise^"  as 
he  called  his  vernacular.  This  gave  fresh  interest 
to  our  subjects,  and  introduced  a  novelty  with 
which  the  children  especially  were  greatly  de- 
lighted. Even  Nora,  though  at  first  a  little  shy  of 
him,  was  charmed  with  the  urbanity  of  his  man- 
ners. After  a  few  preliminaries  Monsieur  G.  re- 
marked : — ■ 

'*  There  is  one  thing  about  Protestants  I  am  very 
anxious  to  learn,  {Je  desire  ardenutient  iVapprendre^ 
whether  there  is  any  subject  in  religion  upon  which 
they  agree,  in  the  main,  witli  Catholics." 

"  There  is  no  lack  of  such  subjects,  I  assure 
you,"  I  replied.  "  Here  is  one  right  at  hand  and 
familiar  to  us  all :  it  is  sin.  I  ought,  perhaps,  to 
remark  at  the  very  outset  that  however  much  men 
may  differ  in  their  theories,  they  generally  agree  in 
matters  of  experience.     And  with  regard  to  this 


To  Whom  shall  I  Confess  my  Sins  f      99 


subject  of  sin,  Protestants  and  Catholics  perfectly 
agree, 

"  I  St.  That  we  are  all  sinners;  '  that  all  we  like 
sheep  have  gone  astray,'  '  for  all  have  sinned  and 
come  short  of  the  glory  of  God.'  Here  there  is 
no  difference  between  Jew  and  Gentile,  between 
priest  and  people. 

"  2d.  We  agree  that  sin  is  the  cause  of  all  hu- 
man misery ;  that  it  separates  the  soul  from  God, 
and  puts  men  at  war  with  Him,  with  one  another, 
and  with  themselves. 

"  3d.  We  agree  that  since  all  sin  is  hateful  in  the 
sight  of  God,  it  causes  the  fear  of  death ;  that 
while  'the  wages  of  sin  is  death,*  the  'sting  of 
death  is  sin.' 

"  4th.  We  agree  that  no  sin  can  enter  heaven ; 
that  the  soul  must  be  perfectly  free  from  sin  and 
all  its  stains  to  enter  into  that  holy  place,  for 
'without  holiness  no  man  shall  see  the  Lord.' 

"  5th.  We  agree  that  Jesus  Christ  became  a  sin- 
offering  for  us ;  that  he  is  '  the  Lamb  of  God 
which  taketh  away  the  sin  of  the  world.*  In  my 
Little  Catechism  the  question  is  asked,  '  What  did 
Jesus  Christ  accomplish  on  the  earth  }  '  The  an- 
swer is,  *  He  taught  men  to  live  holy,  and  merited 
or  obtained  for  them  the  grace  so  to  do.'  This  we 
all  fully  hold. 


Hi 


'  i! 


(  I 


lOO 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


"  6th.  We  further  agree  that  to  get  rid  of  our 
sins  we  must  confess  them.  This  we  all  believe 
must  be  done  with  the  deepest  sorrow  for  having 
offended  God,  and  with  a  full  determination  to 
abandon  every  sinful  thing,  and  to  live  wholly  de- 
voted to  God.  On  the  66th  page  of  my  *  Petit 
CatGchisme  '  is  taught  this  wholesome  truth  :  *  Sin 
being  the  greatest  of  all  evils,  the  sorrow  for  hav- 
ing committed  it  must  be  the  greatest  of  all  sor- 
rows.* In  this  teaching  we  not  only  agree  with  one 
another,  but  also  with  holy  writ,  which  says,  *  He 
that  covereth  his  sins  shall  not  prosper  ,but  whoso 
confesseth  and  forsaketh  them  shall  have  mercy.*  " 

"  But,"  interrupted  Nora,  *'  I  have  always 
thought  that  Protestants  did  not  believe  at  all  in 
the  confession  of  sins;  so,  at  least,  I  have  been 
taught  by  our  priests." 

*'  Most  issuredly  we  do ;  we  not  only  believe  in 
it  but  practice  it." 

"  What !  in  the  confessional,  to  the  ears  of  a 
priest  ?  " 

"  O  no,  not  that.  And  here  our  agreement 
with  Catholics  on  this  subject  ceases ;  but  let  us 
discuss  it  in  the  light  of  reason  and  revelation." 

"  But  I  should  like  to  know,"  said  Luella,  "  what 
the  Catholic  Church  teaches  with  regard  to  con- 
fession." 


To  Whom  shall  I  Confess  my  Sins  ?      loi 


"  My  Catechism  and  parents  taught  me  as  fol- 
lows :  *  That  confession  is  a  declaration  which  one 
makes  of  his  sins  to  a  priest,  in  order  to  obtain 
pardon  or  absolution.'  Such  a  confession  is 
considered  a  very  solemn  thing,  and  is  called 
the  'sacrament  of  penance.'  It  is  said  to  be 
necessary  to  salvation,  except  in  extreme  cases. 
It  must  be  'humble,  sincere,  and  entire.'  Not 
only  is  each  sin  to  be  revealed,  but  also  the  num- 
ber of  times  each  sin  has  been  committed  either 
in  thought,  word,  or  deed,  with  every  attendant 
circumstance,  including  even  dreams,  with  their 
effect  upon  waking  thoughts  and  actions.  Pur- 
posely to  neglect  to  confess  any  sin,  or  even  to 
forget  a  sin  or  grave  circumstance  of  a  sin  for 
want  of  sufficient  self-examination,  would  in  either 
case  constitute  a  sacrilege.*  In  order  to  guard 
this  point  numerous  stories  like  the  following  are 
related  in  nearly  all  their  books  of  instruction  to  the 
young :  *  A  young  lady  of  eighteen  was  guilty  of  a 
secret  sin  which  she  was  ashamed  to  confess.  She 
was  soon  brought  upon  a  bed  of  death,  where  she 
was  tormented  and  in  despair.  She  died,  and 
three  days  after  she  appeared  to  one  of  her  friends 
in  a  vision  and  spoke  these  words,  "  Do  not  pray 
any  more  for  me,  sister,"  (this  friend  supposed  her 
*  Dr.  Challoner's  "Catholic  Instructed,"  p.  toi. 


I 


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W 


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t\   i< 


I  Hil^ 


ill 


102 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


to  be  in  purgatory,)  "  I  am  damned  on  account  of 
a  sin  committed  alone.  I  might  have  easily  ob- 
tained pardon  by  confessing  it,  but  a  criminal 
shame  always  led  me  to  conceal  it;  and  thus  in 
abusing  confession  and  the  blood  of  Jesus  Christ, 
I  have  brought  upon  myself  the  deepest  damna- 
tion."   She  then  uttered  a  groan  and  disappeared.* " 

"  It  is  also  currently  reported  among  college 
students,"  said  Monsieur  G.,  "that  if  one  is  in- 
clined to  hide  a  sin  from  the  priest,  the  confessor 
presently  sees  a  huge  serpent's  head  protruding 
from  the  sinner's  mouth,  and  in  case  the  sin  is  not 
confessed,  the  serpent  is  withdrawn  into  the  bosom 
of  the  wretch  who  dares  thus  attempt  to  deceive 
God.  Then  if  he  persists  in  communing  unwor- 
thily, the  wafer  will  be  metamorphosed  into  an 
ugly  toad  (un  crapaud  diffonne)  on  his  tongue." 

"  Hence  you  can  judge,"  I  continued,  "  that  to 
make  a  thorough  confession  must  require  several 
days  of  careful  study,  compelling  one  to  consult 
the  long  lists  of  questions  for  self-examination  to 
be  found  in  all  the  prayer-books.  To  assist  the 
memory  some  persons  carefully  write  a  catalogue 
of  their  sins,  though  they  are  not  permitted  to 
hand  this  black  account  to  the  priest,  for  with  their 
own  lips  they  must  declare  it  in  his  ear." 

**  But  I  should  think  people  would  get  so  fright- 


'* 


To  Whom  shall  I  Confess  my  Sins  ?      103 


% 


jht- 


% 

4 


ened  on  these  occasions,"  said  Johnnie,  "as  to 
forget  about  all  they  ever  did  or  thought." 

"  In  orotr  to  avoid  the  confusion  as  far  as  possi- 
ble, children  are  sent  to  the  confessional  very 
young,  and  often  simply  that  they  may  learn  how 
to  perform  or  behave  when  they  come  to  the  thing 
in  earnest.  They  are  also  thoroughly  instructed 
beforehand  by  their  parents  and  teachers,  and  the 
confessionals  are  generally  so  arranged  as  to  hide 
them  entirely  from  the  view  of  others,  while  the 
priest  can  be  seen  only  through  a  narrow  grate  at 
which  he  puts  his  ear.  Then,  versed  as  he  is  in 
all  the  prevailing  sins  of  the  day  and  place,  he  is 
well  prepared  to  give  the  penitent  a  thorough  cat- 
echising, which  most  priests  always  do.  In  tiis 
way  treacherous  memories  are  quickened." 

"  O,  I  remember  that  you  showed  us  two  confes- 
sionals in  St.  Joseph's,"  said  Luella.  "  They 
looked  like  large  portable  wardrobes,  with  a  parti- 
tion through  the  middle,  making  two  little  rooms, 
with  a  small  grate  between  them,  about  opposite  to 
the  head  of  a  person  sitting  in  a  chair." 

"  You  have  described  them  perfectly.  Some- 
times, however,  they  consist  of  one  apartment,  in- 
closed by  a  thick  curtain.  I  have  myself  frequent- 
ly been  to  confession  in  such  a  place,  where  I 
knelt  right  by  the  side  of  the  priest.     '  Kirwan,*  in 


Id 

jii 


«■• 


;■ 


fel' 


111 
ill 


r ': 


104 


Spiritual   Struggles 


his  letters  to  Bishop  Hughes,  giving  some  of  his 
early  impressions  upon  this  subject,  says,  *  Father 
M.  frequently  held  his  confessions  at  our  house. 
He  sat  in  a  dark  room  up  stairs  with  one  or  more 
candles  on  a  table  before  him.  Those  going  to 
confession  followed  each  other  on  their  knees  from 
the  front  door,  through  the  hall,  up  the  stairs,  and 
to  the  door  of  the  room.  My  turn  came ;  I  en- 
tered the  room,  from  which  the  light  of  day  was 
excluded,  and  bowed  myself  before  the  priest.  He 
made  over  me  the  sign  of  the  cross,  and  after  say- 
ing something  in  Latin,  he  ordered  me  to  com- 
mence the  detail  of  my  sins.  Such  was  my  fright 
that  my  memory  soon  failed  in  bringing  up  my 
past  delinquencies.  He  would  prompt  me,  and 
ask.  Did  you  do  this  thing,  or  that  thing.?  I 
would  answer  yes,  or  no.  And  when  I  could  say 
no  more,  he  would  wave  his  hand  over  me  and 
again  utter  some  words  in  Latin,  and  dismiss  me.' 
Thus,  like  '  Kirwan,'  I  was  sent  many  times  to 
confession  when  I  was  young,  and  as  I  was  quick 
to  learn  1  soon  became  very  thorough  and  accu- 
rate. And  though  the  law  of  the  Church  requires 
confession  but  once  a  year,  enjoining  it  as  a 
special  duty  of  the  lenten  season,  I  followed 
the  ex-^mple  of  those  who  confess  nearly  every 
week." 


To  Whom  shall  I  Confess  my  Sins  ?      105 


"  All  this  accords  perfectly  with  my  own  expe- 
rience," said  Monsieur  G.,  "  but  really  I  would 
like  to  know  what  Protestants  teach  about  con- 
fession." 

"  Simply  this,  that  we  are  to  confess  to  the  be- 
ing or  person  whom  we  have  offended.  This  is 
the  only  rule  of  Scripture,  and  it  accords  perfectly 
with  reason.  'Confess  your  faults  one  to  another,' 
said  James.  This  compels  the  priest  to  confess  to 
the  people,  as  well  as  the  people  to  him.  The 
rule  is  further  explained  by  our  blessed  Saviour  as 
follows  :  '  If  thy  brother  shall  trespass  against  thee, 
go  and  tell  him  his  fault  between  thee  and  him 
alone.'  Not  a  word  is  to  be  said  to  the  Church, 
including  its  pastor,  until  all  other  means  have 
failed,  and  then  the  whole  Church  is  to  be  a  wit- 
ness, or  sit  as  a  jury.  In  his  sermon  on  the  mount 
Christ  said,  '  Therefore  if  thou  bring  thy  gift  to 
the  altar  and  there  rememberest  that  thy  brother 
hath  aught  against  thee,  leave  there  thy  gift  before 
the  altar,  and  go  thy  way ;  first  be  reconciled  to 
thy  brother.'  Now  the  priest  is  supposed  to  be  at 
the  altar,  but  this  command  sends  him  away  from 
the  altar  to  confess  to  his  brother  and  be  recon- 
ciled, without  the  interference  of  the  priest.  Again 
we  read  in  the  Gospel,  *  Then  came  Peter  to  him 
and   said,   Lord,   how  oft   shall   my  brother   sin 


■p 


i 


'i  '.I 


i  '■- 


,(,       !! 


I 


1 06 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


against  me  and  I  forgive  him  ?  till  seven  times  ?  ' 
Mark  that  Peter  speaks  of  personal  offenses. 
Jesus  tells  him  that  in  such  cases  he  must  forgive 
'  seventy  times  seven.'  " 

"  What,  father,"  quickly  inquired  Johnnie,  "  four 
hundred  and  ninety  times?  " 

"  Yes,  my  son.  This  is  probably  the  product  of 
*  sacred  numbers,*  as  they  are  called,  meaning  that 
in  no  case  are  we  to  retain  resentment  toward  a 
sincere  penitent.  This  is  further  illustrated  in  the 
Lord's  prayer  by  the  petition,  '  Forgive  us  our  tres- 
passes as  we  forgive  them  that  trespass  against  us.'  " 

*'  These  passages  evidently  relate  to  offenses  be- 
tween man  and  man,"  again  said  Monsieur  G.,  "  in 
which  satisfaction  or  restitution  is  to  be  made ; 
but  how  is  it  with  sins  against  a  co?nmunity  ? " 

"  Apply  the  rule  given  before  :  Confession  must 
be  made  to  the  community.  And  only  this  kind 
of  confession,  except  in  case  of  personal  offenses, 
was  known  even  in  the  Catholic  Church  until  the 
days  of  Pope  Leo  the  Great."* 

"And  was  he  indeed  the  first,"  spoke  Monsieur 
G.  quite  indignantly,  "  who  delivered  over  the 
conscience  of  the  people  into  the  hands  of  the 
priests,  and  consigned   the  most  secret  acts  and 

*  See  the  following  authorities :  Bingham,  Orig.  Ecc/.^honk 
xviii,  chap.  iii.     I)at//e,  De  Confess.  Auricular,  iv,  25,  etc. 


To  Whom  shall  I  Confess  my  Sins  ?      107 


thoughts  of  individual  imperfection  to  the  torture 
of  private  inquisition  and  scrutiny  !  " 

"And  yet,"  I  added,  "the  present  authorities  of 
the  Church  quote  the  following  passages  in  answer 
to  the  question,  'What  Scripture  do  you  bring  to 
recommend  the  confession  of  our  sins  to  God's 
ministers  ?  "  *  Here  is  the  first :  '  When  a  man  or 
woman  shall  commit  any  sin  that  men  commit,  to 
do  a  trespass  against  the  Lord,  and  that  person  be 
guilty,  th  jn  they  shall  confess  their  sin  which  they 
have  done.'  Num.  v,  6,  7.  Now,  as  no  priest  is 
mentioned  in  this  passage,  unless  auricular  con- 
fession can  be  proved  from  some  other  passage,  it 
does  not  answer  the  above  question,  but  serves 
only  to  mislead.  But  auricular  confession  cannot 
be  maintained  from  the  Old  Testament ;  hence 
the  Rev.  Dr.  Challoner  has  misapplied  the  word 
of  God,  as  the  above  confession  was  undoubtedly 
public.  The  second  passage  he  adduces  is  the 
example  of  the  people  who  came  to  John  the  Bap- 
tist, and  were  baptized  of  him,  *  confessing  their 
sins.'  Matt,  iii,  6.  Now  we  may  ask.  If  this  was 
auricular  confession,  of  whom  had  John  learned 
the  practice  }  and  where  was  his  confessional,  with 
time  to  attend  to  those  multitudes  }  St.  Luke,  in 
the  third  chapter  of  his  Gospel,  makes  the  whole 
*  Challoner's  "  Catholic  Instructed,"  pp.  99,  100. 


^1 

I  ! 

i 
1 

■      ':  i' 
I  '1 

1 

t 

r  ,\ 

\ 

i 
1 
I 
1 

1    lii 


io8 


Spiritual   Struggles. 


matter  simple,  by  representing  the  people  gener- 
ally, then  the  publicans,  and  lastly  the  soldiers, 
as  asking,  '  And  what  shall  we  do  ? '  Their  con- 
fessions were  evidently  public,  as  their  offenses 
had  been,  and  as  were  also  his  instructions  to  them. 
Dr.  Challoner  brings  forward  also  that  injunction 
of  James,  '  Confess  your  faults  one  to  another ' — a 
passage  which  I  have  already  sufficiently  explained 
— and  concludes  his  answer  with  this  text :  '  And 
many  that  believed  came,  and  confessed,  and 
showed  their  deeds.'  Acts  xix,  i8.  This  case  at 
Ephesus  was  very  similar  to  that  of  John  the  Bap- 
tist at  Jordan,  and  is  susceptible  of  a  like  expla- 
nation. There  is  not  the  least  intimation  of  con- 
fession to  a  priest  or  an  apostle,  nor  of  confes- 
sion in  private,  but  rather  of  a  public  and  open 
acknowledgment." 

"  But  what  of  offenses  against  God  only  ?  "  in- 
quired Nora,  who  had  been  listening  with  intense 
interest. 

"  Apply  the  rule  already  given,  Nora,  for  it  is 
invariable  and  simple.  If  you  offend  God  only, 
confess  to  God  only.  The  Psalmist  David  con- 
fessed, crying,  '  Against  thee,  thee  only,  have  I 
sinned,  and  done  this  evil  in  thy  sight.'  In  an- 
other passage  he  exclaims,  '  I  acknowledged  my 
sin  unto  thee,  and  my  iniquity  have  I  not  hid.     I 


'^=11 


To  IV/wm  shall  I  Confess  my  Sins  ?      109 


said,  I  will  confess  my  transgressions  unto  the 
Lord,  and  thou  forgavest  the  iniquity  of  my  sin.*" 

"  I  see  that  no  priest  appears  here  between  God 
and  man ;  but  this  was  the  rule  of  Old  Testament 
times,"  said  Nora. 

"  Christ  the  crucified  is  the  Alpha  and  Omega 
of  the  new  dispensation.  In  the  olden  time  the 
priests  occupied  a  much  more  imposing  relation 
than  the  ministers  of  Christ  do  now,  though  never 
that  of  confessors.  They  received  and  offered  the 
sacrifices  of  the  people,  and  made  prayers  and 
supplications  for  them.  But  all  those  ceremonies, 
as  also  the  priest  and  the  sacrifice,  were  only  types 
of  Christ,  pointing  to  him,  and  they  were  fulfilled, 
abolished,  and  lost  in  him.  And  so  the  Apostle 
Paul,  in  all  his  epistles,  and  especially  in  that  to 
the  Hebrews,  many  of  wliom  clung  so  tenaciously 
to  the  old  ritual,  most  conclusively  proves  that 
Christ  is  not  only  exalted  far  above  angels,  Abra- 
ham, Moses,  and  even  Aaron  and  his  lineal  priest- 
hood, but  that  by  his  vicarious  sufferings  and  sac- 
rificial death  he  has  forever  abolished  the  '  law  of 
carnal  ordinances,'  that  is,  the  law  of  a  human 
priesthood  and  of  animal  offerings ;  and  that  now, 
having  offered  one  sacrifice  for  sins  forever,  that 
is,  one  never  to  be  repeated,  himself  the  Victim 
and  Offerer,  he  has  become  our  only  priest,  the 


I 


[^  ' 


\  I 


III 

111  • 


! 


i 


H 

m"      3 

1 

m 

1  11  i 

i 

P  1  !1      '        k 

1 

\  Hii  ^  t! 

I 
1 

i; 

1       •      '     ^ 

i 

r 

no 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


true  shepherd  and  bishop  of  our  souls,  able  to 
save  them  to  the  uttermost  that  come  unto  (iod  by 
Him,  seeing  He  ever  liveth  to  make  intercession  for 
them  ;  made  a  high-priest  forever  after  the  order  of 
Melchisedek,  not  after  the  law  of  a  carnal  com- 
mandment, but  after  the  power  of  an  endless  life." 

"  How  delighted  I  am,"  (^uej'g  suis  charme,)  ex- 
claimed Monsieur  G.,  **  to  be  told  what  it  now 
seems  to  me  must  be  the  substance  of  those  sa- 
cred writings  of  Paul  which,  though  twenty-three 
years  of  age,  I  have  never  read  !  These  truths  not 
only  show  that  priestly  intervention  between  a 
soul  and  God  is  positively  unscriptural,  but  also 
that  the  so-called  sacrifice  of  the  mass,  which  the 
Catechism  teaches  is  '  the  offering  of  the  body  and 
blood  of  Jesus  Christ,  made  by  a  priest  unto  God,' 
or  '  that  in  the  mass  there  is  offered  to  God  a  true, 
proper,  and  propitiatory  sacrifice  for  the  living  and 
the  dead,'* — that  such  a  service,  of  which  the 
Catholic  Church  makes  so  much,  is  unmeaning,  if 
not  farcical,  and  calculated  to  hide  the  great  and 
all-sufficient  sacrifice  of  Calvary  behind  the  rub- 
bish of  priestly  power  and  ritualistic  gibb'^rish." 

"  Be  this  as  it  may,"  I  added,  "  the  mass,  with 
its  priestly  sacrifices,  is  plainly  anti-scriptural. 
Our  Saviour  himself,  and  his  apostles  aftc  him, 
*  "  Grounds  of  Catholic  Faith,"  p.  43. 


To  Whom  shall  I  Confess  my  Sins  ?      1 1 1 


eiuleavored  to  show  this  by  removing  every  object 
or  person  that  might  i)ossibly  obscure  or  obstruct 
spiritual  communion  between  God  and  man.  In 
his  parable  of  the  prodigal  son  the  Saviour  repre- 
sents the  penitent  one  as  coming  directly  to  the 
Father.  Prostrate  before  him  he  confesses,  *  Fa- 
ther, I  have  sinned  against  heaven  and  before 
thee.'  "^Vhere  is  the  priest  to  hear  his  confession.^ 
He  is  not  even  so  much  as  named  in  this  pearl  of 
parables,  this  gospel  in  the  Gospel,  nor  anywhere 
else  in  the  Scriptures,  in  the  relation  of  confessor 
between  the  sinner  and  his  God.  Paul  sets  the 
royal  seal  to  this  subject  when  he  says>  '  There  is 
one  God,  and  one  Mediator  between  God  and 
man,  the  man  Christ  Jesus.'  And  Peter  adds, 
'Neither  is  there  salvation  in  any  other;  for  there 
is  none  other  name  under  heaven  given  among 
men,  whereby  we  must  be  saved.*  " 

With  these  good  texts  to  meditate  upon,  after  a 
brief  season  of  prayer,  our  interview  was  closed. 


RT 


■t 


112 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


il' 


Ml 

§ 


m 


SI 


M  '^: 


,  ^ 


VI. 


THE   CONFESSIONAL  :    ITS    POWER — NORA   IN 

TROUBLE. 

All  power  is  given  unto  me  in  heaven  and  in  earth. — Our 

High  Priest. 

IN  the  early  part  of  the  week  Nora  had  received 
a  letter  from  her  parents,  who  reside  in  New 
York  city,  calling  her  home  in  haste  to  see  her 
mother,  who  was  reported  to  be  dangerously  ill. 
She  returned  Friday,  and,  what  was  not  a  little 
strange,  instead  of  going  to  work  as  us\ial,  she 
came  directly  to  my  room,  where  she  found  me 
engaged  in  study.  She  appeared  pleased  at  first 
to  see  me,  passed  the  compliments  of  the  day,  but 
with  a  strange  air  remarked  that  her  mother  was 
not  sick  as  they  had  written  her,  but  that  this  was 
done  as  a  ruse  to  get  her  home.  I  quickly  saw 
that  something  was  wrong ;  so  desiring  to  talk  over 
the  matter,  I  asked  her  to  sit  down  a  moment, 
v/hich  she  did,  but  in  doing  so  she  buried  her  face 
in  her  hands  and  began  to  weep. 

"What   is    the    matter,  Nora.?"  I   asked;  ''is 
there  any  thing  that  I  can  do  for  you  }  " 


B*  1 : 


Power  of  the  Confessional. 


113 


LA   IN 
th.— C>«r 

eceived 

in  New 

see  her 

usly  ill. 

a  little 

lal,  she 

ind  me 

at  first 

ay,  but 

lier  was 

lis  was 

cly  saw 

k  over 

oment, 

er  face 

d;  '-is 


■I 


"  O  no,  sir,"  she  replied,  almost  choking  with 
her  sobs,  *  but  I  have  come  in  to  tell  you  that  I 
can  work  for  you  no  longer,  but  must  leave  you ;" 
and  she  sobbed  again  and  aloud. 

After  waiting  some  minutes  for  her  great  grief  to 
subside,  I  asked,  "  Nora,  is  the  work  too  hard  for 
you  here,  or  is  your  pay  insufficient  ?  " 

"  O  no,  sir.  With  all  these  I  am  perfectly  sat- 
isfied." 

"Has  any  member  of  the  family — myself,  the 
mistress,  or  the  children — in  any  way  abused  or 
offended  you.?  " 

"  No,  indeed  1  I  was  never  treated  with  more 
uniform  kindness  in  my  life." 

"  Why  is  it,  then,  that  you  want  to  leave  us  }  " 

"  O,  sir,  I  have  not  said  thp*  /  wanted  to  leave 
you,  but  I  musty  So  saying  she  again  began  to 
weep  violently. 

"  Now,  Nora,  I  confess  I  can  scarcely  under- 
stand you.  There  appears  to  be  a  mystery  hang- 
ing over  thiF  matter.  I  cannot  think,  however, 
that  you  are  wilhng  to  leave  us  without  even  in- 
timating it  beforehand,  as  was  the  understanding 
you  should  do  when  you  came  here,  and  without 
assigning  any  reasons  why." 

"  O  how  can   I  ever  tell  you,  though  I  know  I 

ought  to !  "    And  here,  seemingly  absorbed  with 
8 


rv' 


V 

ii 

r 


'I 


\  I    '1 


H    i 


'^'M.t 


114 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


her  own  griefs,  and  as  though  she  were  alone,  she 
exclaimed,  "  O,  holy  St.  Patrick,  patron  and  pro- 
tector of  my  people,  why  am  I  left  to  be  the  prey 
of  torments  like  these  !  " 

"  Never  mind  St.  Patrick  now,  nor  any  other 
saint,  Nora.  Try  to  get  quiet ;  put  your  trust  in  the 
blessed  Jesus,  and  do  what  you  know  is  right,  and 
you  will  find  that  rest  to  your  conscience  which 
you  cannot  otherwise  obtain.  If  you  feel  that  for 
the  sake  of  truth,  for  our  sake,  and  your  own, 
you  ought  to  tell  us  all  about  this  trouble,  do  so 
plainly." 

By  this  time  Mrs.  B.,  who  from  the  hall  had 
heard  Nora's  sobs,  had  come  in,  and,  learning  that 
her  grief  was  caused  by  feeling  herself,  as  it  were, 
forced  to  leave  us,  became  greatly  interested  in 
the  matter. 

The  troubled  girl  hesitated  for  some  time,  but 
at  length  a  radiance  seemed  to  light  up  her  face, 
though  swollen  with  tears  and  grief,  as  when  a  sum- 
mer shower  is  speedily  followed  by  golden  sunbeams 
that  light  up  the  last  falling  raindrops  into  gems 
of  beauty,  and  gild  the  trail  of  the  retiring  clouds  ; 
and  then,  like  one  who  has  reached  a  great  victory 
in  a  moral  struggle,  she  exclaimed,  "  I  somehow 
begin  to  feel  as  though  I  had  suffered  my  con- 
science to  be  trampled  under  foot  by  others,  while 


'"■"■■■''""■vBm 


Power  of  the  Confessional. 


115 


it  seems  as  if  God  alone  ought  to  be  above  con- 
science. I  certainly  can't  tell  you  exactly  why, 
but  now  I  feel  quite  free  to  tell  you  all  about  this 
thing  which  has  caused  me  so  much  grief,  and 
awakened,  I  see,  great  anxiety  in  your  own  minds." 

"  That's  right,  Nora,"  said  Mrs.  B.,  "  speak  the 
truth,  the  whole  truth,  and  nothing  but  the  truth." 

'Til  try,  ma'am.  A  few  days  before  I  received 
the  letter  telling  me  the  story  of  mother's  sick- 
ness, some  Catholic  friends — no,  I'll  call  them 
enemies — in  the  neighborhood,  who  had  found  out 
that  I  was  becoming  interested  in  those  talks  of 
Mr.  Beaudry  on  his  experience,  wrote  to  my  par- 
ents, telling  them  all  about  it.  When  I  reached 
home  I  found  my  mother  in  tears — she  was  really 
sick  at  heart — and  my  father  was  so  angry  that 
he  made  all  manner  of  threats  against  me,  if  I 
wouldn't  go  and  confess  it  all  to  our  parish  priest. 
I  hesitated  some  time,  but  at  length  went.  O 
what  a  horrid  experience  I  had  there  !  Of  course, 
according  to  the  rules  of  our  Church,  I  didn't  dare 
hide  any  thing  from  him." 

"  Nor  need  you  violate  any  obligation  of  secrecv 
in  the  confessional  for  our  sakes,  Nora,"  I  add  n., 
lest  her  conscience  might  become  unnecessarily 
entangled. 

"  But  I  must  tell  you  the  whole  story  to  relieve 


r    !  ,  "' 


I 


11! 


U! 


1  i'f ; 


I 


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illlUJ!    M 


i'S     I 


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, 

>.      1 
i 

1 

1 1 

i    i 

1 

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i 
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i 

1 

1 

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\    1 

ii6 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


my  own  mind,  and  l^est  you  blame  me  for  saying 
*.hat  I  must  leave  you.  One  of  the  first  things  the 
priest  did  was  to  inquire  all  about  you.  He  then 
said  he  had  heard  of  you  before,  and  of  many  oth- 
ers the  likes  of  you  throughout  the  country.  After 
asking  me  many  questions  concerning  your  relig- 
ion, and  your  meetings  in  the  study,  all  about 
which  he  seemed  to  know  beforehand,  I  tried  to 
tell  him  that,  by  what  I  had  seen  in  your  family,  I 
thought  you  must  be  a  good  Christian  man,  when 
he  grew  into  a  hot  rage,  and,  interrupting  me,  cried, 
'  Hush,  you  almost-Protestant !  You  utter  blas- 
phemy !  Talk  about  a  good  heretic  I  You  might 
as  well  say  a  pioi^s  devil.  That  man  is  a  turncoat, 
a  Judas,'  and  thus  he  went  on  talking,  and  he 
looked  so  angrily  at  me  that  I  fairly  trembled ;  and 
he  ordered  me  to  leave  your  family  at  once,  or  he 
would  call  all  the  curses  of  God  to  fall  upon  me. 
I  was  so  frightened,  that  to  obtain  his  absolution  I 
promised  to  do  as  he  commanded  me.  Now  this 
is  the  cause  of  my  tears,  for  I  had  rather  do  any 
thing  I  know  of  than  to  leave  you  :  "  and  again  a 
cloud  of  sorrow  seemed  to  fall  upon  her. 

"  But,  Nora,"  I  proceeded  to  say,  "  do  as  you 
think  is  right.  Obey  God  rather  than  man.  If 
conscience  says.  Go,  don't  waver,  though  it  will  be 
a  great  sacrifice  for  us  all." 


Power  of  the  Confessional, 


117 


"  You  are  very  kind  to  speak  so  to  me ;  but,  O, 
that  I  only  knew  what  to  do  !  "  After  some  mo- 
ments of  silent  thoughtfulness  she  joyfully  ex- 
claimed, *'  I  know  what  to  do.  I'll  not  go  and 
leave  you.  I  just  now  recollect  seeing  in  some  of 
our  Catechisms,  that  if  a  person  through  fear  or 
compulsion  should  make  a  rash  vow,  it  is  only 
adding  sin  to  sin  to  keep  such  a  promise.  I'll 
do  right,  at  any  cost  of  pain  or  loss,  God  helping 
me." 

At  this  interesting  denouement  she  made  each 
of  us  a  polite  courtesy,  and,  smiling,  retired  to  her 
room. 

*'  Now,  Pearlie,"  (for  this  is  Mrs.  B.'s  given 
name,)  "  what  do  you  think  of  priestly  power  ?  " 

"  Why,  I  had  no  conception  of  it  before.  Now 
I  see  by  what  means  the  priests  obtain  their  wide 
information  and  great  influence.  Their  opera- 
tions of  espionage,  I  can  now  imagine,  are  reduced 
to  a  system  so  perfect  that  there  is  not  a  person 
of  wealth,  or  social  standing,  or  political  or  relig- 
ious influence  in  the  land,  who  may  not  be  per- 
fectly well  known  at  head-quarters,  even  to  the 
minutest  thing  in  his  history  or  conduct." 

So  saying,  she  went  ^t  to  attend  to  her  domes- 
tic cares,  leaving  me  alone  to  meditate  upon  this 
strange   yet    not    uncommon    event.      Nora  con- 


Ii8 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


':i  |i 


il'il 


l<  ( 


',  ■ 


I    If 


!'l       '^ 


tinued  to  work  as  usual,  only  with  an  increasing 
interest. 

These  facts  being  known  to  our  company  greatly 
enlisted  our  sympathy  for  Nora,  and  enlivened  our 
interest  in  the  general  subject  of  discussion.  On 
assembling  the  following  Sabbath,  Aunt  Melie  re- 
marked, "  There  is  still  another  subject  connected 
with  the  confessional  on  which  I  would  like  more 
light :  and  that  is,  the  power  of  the  priest  to  for- 
give sins.  Most  Catholics  with  whom  I  have  con- 
versed have  told  me  that  the  priest  has  this  power, 
and  that  it  is  absolute ;  others  surround  the  doc- 
trine with  various  limitations  ;  while  still  others 
deny  it  altogether." 

"  Their  standard  books,"  I  replied,  "  are  our 
only  safe  authority  in  these  matters."  Turning  to 
Monsieur  G.,  who  was  again  with  us,  I  asked  him  if 
he  could  repeat  from  memory  what  his  Catechism 
taught  upon  this  subject. 

*'  Most  certainly.  It  is  only  a  short  time  since 
I  was  devoutly  studying  and  teaching  these  doc- 
trines. In  the  Catechism  now  in  use  in  Canada,  I 
think  on  page  51,  you  may  find  the  following  ques- 
tions and  answers : — 

Have  the  priests  power  to  forgive  sins  ? 
Yes,  the  priests  have  power  to  forgive  or  re- 
tain sins. 


(( ( 


(( ( 


Power  of  the  Confessional. 


119 


(( ( 


Can    they    forgive    all    sins,    even    the    most 
enormous? 

" '  Yes,  they  can  pardon  all  sins,  even  the  most 
enormous,  provided  they  are  confessed  with  sin- 
cere contrition.' " 

"Well,"  exclaimed  Luella,  "this  is  claiming 
more  power  than  Jesus  himself  did,  for  he  said 
there  was  one  sin  he  could  not  forgive,  namely, 
tlie  sin  against  the  Holy  Ghost ;  but  the  priests 
make  no  such  exception." 

"  This  is  most  poignantly  true,"  continued  our 
friend.  "  But  the  Catechism  does  not  contain 
their  whole  teaching  on  this  point.  In  a  book  * 
used  in  college  I  found  the  following :  '  To  remit 
sins,  to  bind  and  to  loose  consciences,  to  produce 
the  body  and  blood  of  Jesus  Christ,  to  offer  him 
in  sacrifice,  to  distribute  him  to  the  faithful,  to  im- 
part grace  by  the  sacraments  to  the  living  and  the 
dying,  to  cast  out  devils :  this  is  what  all  the  kings 
of  the  earth  cannot  do ;  but,  behold,  this  is  what 
the  priests  of  the  Lord  can  do.'  Then,  too,  in  the 
voluminous  works  of  Abb6  Jean  Gaume,  works 
approved  by  Catholic  authority,  and  highly  recom- 
mended, I  have  found  the  following:  'What  h'l 
man  tongue  can  describe  the  dignity  of  the  priest- 
hood and  the  greatness  of  the  priest  V  Then  the 
*  "  Pensees  sur  les  Verites  de  la  Religion,"  p.  297. 


I     li' 

'I  ' 

:li 
ifiil '"' 

'llll 

i  1^ 

Ml||.|' 


ii!! 


120 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


li' 


ll 


I 


f ; 


t  i'\ 


i . 


author  proceeds  to  speak  of  the  power  of  Adam, 
Moses,  Joshua,  of  kings,  of  angels,  and  even  of 
the  Virgin  Mary,  but  says,  '  the  priest  has  greater 
power  than  they  all,  because  they  cannot,  while 
he  can,  absolve  a  soul  from  sin.'  He  continues, 
'  Suppose  the  Redeemer  should  visibly  descend  in 
person  in  his  Church,  and  station  himself  in  a  con- 
fessional to  administer  the  sacrament  of  penance, 
while  a  priest  occupies  another.  The  Son  of  God 
says,  "  I  absolve  you  ;  "  and  the  priest  also  says,  "  I 
absolve  you ;  "  and  the  penitent  finds  himself  ab- 
solved just  as  much  by  the  one  as  by  the  other. 
Thus  the  priest,  mighty  like  God,  can  instantly 
snatch  the  sinner  from  hell,  render  him  worthy  of 
paradise,  and  of  a  slave  of  the  devil  make  him  a 
child  of  Abraham,  and  God  himself  is  obliged  to 
submit  to  the  judgment  of  the  priest,  to  refuse  or 
to  grant  absolution,  provided  the  penitent  is  wor- 
thy of  it.  The  sentence  of  the  priest  precedes; 
God  subscribes  to  it.  Can  any  one  conceive  of  a 
greater  power,  a  higher  dignity  .'*  * 

"  And  yet  these  sentiments  of  the  Abbe  are  not 
as  radical  as  the  utterances  of  a  Bavarian  priest, 
named  Herr  Kinzelmann,  Catholic  rector  of  Ges- 
trass.  In  a  recent  sermon  preached  at  Algau,  and 
reported  in  the  *  Kempton  Gazette,'  he  said :  *  We 
priests,  we  are  above  the  governments,  above  the 


Poiver  of  the  Confessional. 


121 


emperor,  kings,  and  princes,  as  much  as  the  heav- 
ens are  above  the  earth.  The  kings  and  princes 
of  the  earth  are  as  far  behind  us  priests  as  lead  is 
distant  from  the  purest  gold.  The  angels  and 
archangels  are  much  below  priests ;  for  we  can,  in 
the  face  of  God,  pardon  sins,  which  they  have  never 
been  able  to  do.  We  are  above  the  Mother  of 
God,  for  Mary  never  gave  birth  to  Christ  but  once, 
while  we  priests,  we  create  and  produce  him  every 
day.  Again,  to  a  certain  degree,  the  priests  are 
above  God  himself;  for  God  must  be,  at  any  time 
and  in  every  place,  at  our  disposal ;  he  must,  on 
being  ordered,  descend  from  heaven  at  the  conse- 
cration of  the  mass.  God,  it  is  true,  has  created 
the  world  by  using  these  words :  '  Be  it ;  '  but  we, 
with  these  words,  create  God  himself." 

"  Thank  you,  Monsieur  G.,  for  the  information 
I  desired,"  replied  Aunt  Melie.  "  But  is  it  not 
dreadful  to  contemplate  such  arrogance  of  power  ! 
It  is  the  legitimate  fruit  of  the  system,  however. 
Here  we  see  the  fulfillment  of  Paul's  prophecy, 
concerning  *  the  falling  away,  and  the  revelation 
of  that  man  of  sin  and  son  of  perdition,  who  op- 
poseth  and  exalteth  himself  above  all  that  is  called 
God,  or  that  is  worshiped ;  so  that  he  as  God  sit- 
teth  in  the  temple  of  God,  showing  himself  that 
he  is  God.'" 


nr^ 


i 


iiii 


h'> 


IS 


I  I 


>  '!i  U  I 


i  ill 


;!l 


i 


.   ;r':  t! 


I 

,!  i 


«     |!    .'     'I'!'    'i; 


122 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


"  Now,"  added  Nora,  **  I  have  always  been  made 
to  believe  that  the  priests  have  all  power.  If  the 
priests  cannot  pardon  sin,  I  should  like  to  know 
who  can  ?  " 

As  she  uttered  these  words,  as  a  matter  of 
course  all  eyes  were  turned  toward  me  for  an  an- 
swer, and  so  I  replied,  "  All  Scriptures  bearing 
upon  this  question  teach  us  that  the  pardoning 
power  resides  with  God  alone.  So  David  said, 
'Thou  forgavest  the  iniquity  of  my  sin.'  John, 
*  If  we  confess  our  sins  He  is  faithful  and  just  to 
forgive  us  our  sins.'  The  same  is  true  in  a  civil 
point  of  view.  Before  the  law,  an  offender  can  be 
pardoned  only  by  the  chief  magistrate  having 
jurisdiction,  the  governor  in  the  State,  the  presi- 
dent in  the  United  States.  So,  Jesus  Christ,  who 
is  Lord  of  lords,  and  King  of  kings,  alone  has 
the  power  to  forgive  him  who  has  trespassed  upon 
his  Divine  law.  So  when  Christ  had  said  to  the 
paralytic,  '  Thy  sins  be  forgiven  thee,'  the  Phari- 
sees murmured  against  him,  and  exclaimed,  '  Who 
can  forgive  sins  but  God  only  ? '  This  passage 
proves  two  things :  first,  that  pri^^stly  absolutions 
formed  no  part  of  the  Jewish  creed ;  and,  sec- 
ondly, that  if  Christ  had  been  only  a  man,  the 
Pharisees  would  have  been  justified  in  charging 
blasphemy  upon  him.     But  then,  to  show  forth  his 


;-t 


Power  of  the  Confessional. 


123 


supreme  divinity  in  the  presence  of  them  all, 
Jesus  said,  *  Whether  is  it  easier,  to  say  to  the 
sick  of  the  palsy.  Thy  sins  be  forgiven  thee ;  or 
to  say.  Arise,  and  take  up  thy  bed  and  walk?  But 
that  ye  may  know  that  the  Son  of  man  hath  power 
on  earth  to  forgive  sins,  (he  saith  to  the  sick  of  the 
palsy,)  I  say  unto  thee.  Arise,  and  take  up  thy  bed, 
and  go  thy  way  unto  thy  house.'  And  it  was  imme- 
diately done.  Both  by  his  reasoning  and  action 
Jesus  proved  in  this  instance,  as  in  many  others, 
that  to  forgive  sins  and  to  work  miracles,  such  as 
healing  the  sick,  raising  the  dead,  etc.,  are  on  a 
par  with  creating  worlds,  and  that  these  are  pre- 
rogatives of  the  Deity  which  he  has  never  dele- 
gated to  men.  He  may  work  a  miracle  by  man 
as  an  instrument,  as  he  says,  '  he  can  thrash  a 
mountain  with  a  worm ;  '  but  the  power  does  not 
belong  to  the  instrument,  but  to  the  arm  that 
wields  it." 

"  But  your  words  remind  me  of  two  passages  of 
Scripture  often  quoted  by  the  priests,"  interrupted 
Monsieur  G.,  '*  which  present  questions  that  to  my 
mind  are  not  yet  clearly  answered." 

"  Please  state  them,"  I  said. 

"  They  are  the  words  of  Christ  to  his  apostles 
as  recorded,  I  think  in  the  gospels  by  Matthew 
and  John.     The  first  is,  '  Whatsoever  ye  shall  bind 


m 


Ifl 


m 


\\ 


i  J 

r^  yi\ 

'^  'r 

1 1 

!    ! 

1 

' 

•1 
1 

1 

1 

,  iii 

I     iii 


il 


I  i 


124 


Spiritual   Struggles. 


on  earth  shall  be  bound  in  heaven ;  and  whatso- 
ever ye  shall  loose  on  earth  shall  be  loosed  in 
heaven.*  The  second  is  much  like  the  first, 
namely,  *  Receive  ye  the  Holy  Ghost :  whosesoever 
sins  ye  remit,  they  are  remitted  unto  them ;  and 
whosesoever  sins  ye  retain,  they  are  retained.'  The 
priests  tell  us  that  Christ  here  delegated  all  the 
power  that  he  had  in  heaven  and  earth  to  them." 

"  Father !  "  said  Johnnie,  his  countenance  show- 
ing no  small  amount  of  perplexity,  "I  fear  you've 
got  a  puzzle  this  time  which  you  cannot  very  easily 
un"avel." 

'"  Dispel  your  fears  on  my  behalf,  my  child. 
You  must  learn  that  many  things  which  appear 
difficult,  and  even  impossible,  to  you  now,  will  be- 
come perfectly  simple  after  long  study  and  erpe- 
rience.  These  passages  plainly  mean  this :  That 
the  Gospel  truth  committed  to  the  apostles,  ac- 
companied by  the  Holy  Ghost  whom  Jesus  then 
breathed  upon  them,  and  whom  they  fully  received 
at  the  pentecost,  is  the  power  by  which  men  are 
to  be  saved.  Look  at  the  unequivocal  testimony 
of  Jesus  and  his  apostles  on  this  subject :  *  Then 
said  Jesus  to  those  Jews  which  believed  on  him, 
If  ye  continue  in  my  word,  then  are  ye  my  disci- 
ples indeed ;  and  ye  shall  know  the  truth,  and  the 
truth  shall  make  you  free.*     Again,  in  his  prayer 


Power  of  the  Confessional. 


125 


for  the  apostles  just  before  his  crucifixion,  he  said, 
'Father,  sanctify  them  through  thy  truth;  thy 
word  is  truth.'  In  his  final  commission  to  them 
he  said,  '  Go  ye  into  all  the  world  and  preach  the 
Gospel  to  every  creature.  He  that  believeth  and 
is  baptized  shall  be  saved ;  but  he  that  believeth 
not  shall  be  damned.'  " 

"  O  !  I  see  it,  I  see  it  now,"  almost  shouted 
Monsieur  G.,  quite  in  a  rhapsody;  ''whether  a 
man  be  saved  or  lost  depends  upon  his  either  re- 
ceiving by  faith,  or  .ejecting,  the  Gospel." 

"  That's  it  exactly.  It  is  a  simple  truth,  but 
mighty." 

"  Why  !  you  said  before,  it  is  God  forgives  sins  ; 
now  you  say  men  are  saved  through  the  truth," 
said  Nora,  somewhat  perplexed. 

"The  truth,  by  whomsoever  it  is  made  known, 
Nora,  is  the  voice  of  God.  Hear  what  Paul  says 
about  it :  *  The  Gospel  is  the  power  of  God  unto 
salvation  to  every  one  that  believeth.*  Again, 
*Sowe  preach,  and  so  ye  believe.'  Peter  offers 
his  testimony  as  follows,  and  certainly  you  ought 
to  consider  that  valid  :  '  Seeing  y>^  have  purified 
your  souls  in  obeying  the  truth  through  the  Spirit. 
.  .  .  Being  born  again,  not  of  corruptible  seed, 
but  incorruptible;  by  the  word  of  God,  which  liv- 
eth  and  abideth   forever.'     Jesus   further  taught, 


!  i 


I! 


i 


1 


?•,»  f 
W. 


If' 


I 

I 


! 


'Hv 


"^ilti ! 

liii, 


III 


126 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


*  If  I  had  not  come  and  spoken  unto  them,  they 
had  not  had  sin,  but  now  they  have  no  cloak  for 
their  sin.'  So  you  see  that  no  small  responsibility 
is  thrown  upon  the  hearer  of  the  Gospel.  If  we 
believe  and  obey  the  truth,  our  sins  are  forgiven, 
and  we  are  cleansed  from  all  unrighteousness,  by 
the  power  of  God  speaking  to  us  in  the  truth;  but 
if  we  reject  the  truth,  our  sins  are  not  only  re- 
tained against  us  in  heaven,  but  our  guilt  is  greatly 
increased  by  our  knowledge.  *  To  the  one,'  then 
says  Paul,  *  we  are  a  savor  of  death  unto  death, 
and  to  the  other  a  savor  of  life  unto  life.'  No 
minister  of  the  Gospel  is  more  than  a  feeble  in- 
strument in  the  hands  of  God  in  accomplishing 
this  work.  If  I  bring  water  to  a  man  who  is  al- 
most dying  of  thirst — as  I  often  did  in  the  army, 
on  battle-fields — he  may  say  that  I  saved  his  life, 
but  it  was  God's  pure  beverage  that  did  it.  The 
priest  is  not  the  water  nor  the  bread  of  life ;  he 
can  only  tell  of  them  or  distribute  them.  7'he 
knowledge  of  this  grace  is  the  key  which  Christ 
is  said  to  have  given  to  Peter,  and  which, 
though  abused,  he  tells  us  was  nevertheless  in  the 
hands  of  the  Jewish  people.  He  said  to  them, 
*Woe  unto  you,  lawyers!  for  ye  have  taken  away 
the  key  of  knowledge  :  ye  entered  not  in  your- 
selves, and  them  that  were  entering  in  ye  hindered.* 


k . 


Power  of  the  Confessional. 


127 


The  parallel  passage  in  Matthew  amplifies  the 
thought :  '  Woe  unto  you,  scribes  and  Pharisees, 
hypocrites !  for  ye  shut  the  kingdom  of  heaven 
against  men  :  for  ye  neither  go  in  yourselves,  nei- 
ther suffer  'ye  them  that  are  entering  to  go  in.* 
These  woes  were  pronounced  upon  them  because 
they  not  only  rejected  Christ  and  his  Gospel,  but 
sought  to  prevent  others  from  receiving  him.  But 
the  passages  show  that  Gospel  truth  is  the  key  of 
the  kingdom  of  God.  Whosoever  receives  the 
truth  in  the  love  of  it  enters  in.  The  key,  then, 
is  not  only  in  the  hands  of  Peter,  or  with  the  min- 
isters of  the  Gospel,  but  in  the  hands  of  all  men 
who  know  the  truth." 

"  But  did  not  Christ  design  to  convey  more 
power  to  the  twelve  than  to  other  believers }  " 
asked  Monsieur  G. 

"  Only  in  this :  They  were  to  decide  in  council 
assembled,  as  we  see  in  the  Acts  of  the  Apostles, 
what  doctrines  were  orthodox,  and  they  were 
made  the  custodians  or  superintendents  of  disci- 
pline in  the  Church.  And  yet  it  is  evident  that 
their  decisions  were  in  accordance  with  a  vote  of 
the  whole  Church.  But  the  only  keys  that  open 
heaven  and  hell  are  in  the  hands  of  Jesus,  who  is 
heard  saying  to  the  revelator,  'I  am  he  that  liv- 
eth,  and  was  dead ;  and,  behold,   I  am  alive  for 


I 


r 

i  /If! 


'.i 


[I 
iil 


If    :i 


I 


(': 


il, 


I  I 


1 


■m 


I 


1 


128 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


evermore,  amen;  and  have  the  keys  of  hell  and 
of  death.'" 

"  I  question  somewhat,  after  hearing  your  re- 
marks," said  Mrs.  B.,  "whether  the  title  of  priest 
belongs  to  a  Christian  minister." 

"I  am  sure  it  does  not,"  I  replied.  "The 
prophet  of  the  Old  Testament  was  a  type  of  the 
preacher  of  the  New ;  the  priest  was  a  type  of 
Christ.  The  great  Master  said  to  his  apostles, 
*  Go,  and  preach  the  Gospel,  teaching  those  who 
believe  to  observe  all  things  whatsoever  I  have 
commanded  you.'  So  Paul  says,  'Christ  sent  me 
not  to  baptize,  but  to  preach  the  Gospel,*  'for  we 
preach  not  ourselves,  but  Christ  Jesus,  the  Lord ; 
and  ourselves  your  servants,'  (not  your  priests  and 
lords,)  'for  Jesus*  sake,*  and  'we  have  this  treas- 
ure in  earthen  vessels  that  the  excellency  of  the 
power  may  be  of  God,  and  not  of  us.'  The  min- 
ister is  not  the  way,  he  may  simply  indicate  it  by 
word  and  deed.  He  cannot  pardon  sins,  but  he 
can  point  out  the  Pardoner.  He  is  simply  the 
voice  of  one,  and  that  voice  an  echo  from  heaven, 
crying  in  the  wilderness  of  the  world,  '  Behold 
the  Lamb  of  God.'  Like  a  crystal  drop  in  the 
sky,  hidden  from  mortal  gaze,  yet  so  controlled 
by  the  divine  Artist  as  to  paint  the  resplendent 
rainbow,  that  golden  girdle  of  the  Almighty,  upon 


Poivcr  of  the  Confessional. 


129 


the  brow  of  evening,  so  the  minister  of  Christ  is 
to  be  merely  a  reflector  of  God's  truth  and  glory. 
A  tongue  of  fire  to  speak  of  God  was  not  only  the 
stupendous  miracle  of  the  pentecost,  but  it  is  the 
fittest  symbol  for  the  Gospel  ministry,  the  talisman 
of  the  new  covenant.  Only  Christ  can  say,  '  Unto 
me  all  power  is  given,'  therefore,  *  come  unto  me 
all  ye  that  labor  and  are  heavy  laden ; '  for  '  him 
hath  God  exalted  with  his  right  hand  to  be  a 
Prince  and  a  Saviour,  for  to  give  repentance  to 
Israel,  and  forgiveness  of  sins.' " 

"Now,  then,"  added  Luella,  "is  fulfilled  the 
word  of  Christ :  *  As  Moses  lifted  up  the  serpent 
in  the  wilderness,  even  so  must  the  Son  of  man 
be  lifted  up,  that  whosoever  believeth  in  him 
should  not  perish,  but  have  eternal  life.'" 

"  And,  indeed,  is  this  all  there  is  of  salvation," 
cried  Monsieur  G.,  "  to  look  to  the  Crucified  and 
Risen  One,  and  live  }  " 

"This  is  all,"  I  replied.  "There  is  life  for  a 
look  at  the  Crucified  One,  for  he  says,  '  Look  unto 
me,  and  be  ye  saved,  all  the  ends  of  the  earth  :  for 
I  am  God,  and  there  is  none  else.'  The  minister's 
duty,  then,  is  simply  to  cry,  *  Behold  the  Lamb,' 
and  to  stand  aside  or  hide  away,  lest  he  should 
attract  or  obstruct  the  sinner's  gaze.  There  was 
beauty  and  force  in  the  remark  of  the  philosopher 


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130 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


Diogenes  to  Alexander  the  Great  who  stood  in  his 
sunshine,  when  he  was  asked  by  the  latter  what 
he  wanted.  The  Cynic  replied,  '  I  want  you  to 
stand  out  of  my  sunshine,  and  not  to  take  from 
me  what  you  cannot  give  me.'  The  sinner  must 
be  left  alone  with  his  God.  Inspired  by  these 
simple  yet  weighty  truths,  we  closed  our  interview 
with  this  appropriate  stanza,  each  one  singing  with 
strange  delight : — 

*"  I  am  trusting,  Lord,  in  thee  ; 
Dear  Lamb  of  Calvary  ! 
Humbly  at  thy  cross  I  bow — 
Jesus  saves  me,  saves  me  now.' " 


The  Confessional :  Its  Influence.        131 


VII. 

THE  confessional:   its  influence  on  priest 

AND  people — professor  W . 

Be  not  deceived :  evil  communications  corrupt  good  manners. — 
Paul  to  the  Corinthians. 

THE  time  had  been  so  short  since  our  last 
assembly,  that  meeting  the  same  persons  in 
the  same  place,  and  under  similar  circumstances, 
made  it  seem  as  if  this  gathering  was  only  a  con- 
tinuation of  the  previous  one.  Our  preliminaries 
were  very  brief,  for  every  one  appeared  so  anx- 
ious to  enter  the  confessional,  not  to  confess  their 
sins,  but  to  draw  from  me  the  information  which 
I  had  partly  pledged  myself  to  give,  that  I  was 
compelled  to  begin  at  once,  which  I  did  as 
follows  : — 

"Auricular  confession,  as  introduced  by  Pope 
Leo,  was  so  evidently  a  corruption  of  apostolical 
teaching  and  practice,  that  it  took  many  years  to 
enforce  it  throughout  the  Church.  The  Irish 
Church  particularly  long  withstood  the  innova- 
tion. But  now  the  authorities  of  the  Church 
endeavor — how  successfully  has  already  been 
shown — to  prove  the  practice  from  Scripture ;  but 


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Spiritual  Struggles. 


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conscious  of  the  weakness  of  their  position,  they 
resort  to  what  they  call  *  The  spiritual  benefits  of 
the  sacrament  of  penance.' " 

**  Pray  tell  us  what  these  benefits  are,"  said 
Luella. 

Before  I  had  time  to  answer  the  door-bell  was 
rung.  Nora  ran  down,  and  soon  returned  with  a 
card,  which  bore  the  well-known  autograph  of 
"  Mr.  W."  He  was  a  descendant  of  Pennsylvania 
Quakers,  a  graduate  of  Yale  College,  and  had 
spent  the  two  years  following  his  graduation  in 
the  study  of  law.  But  when  he  came  to  enter 
upon  the  practice  of  it,  he  found  so  much  trick- 
ery in  the  profession  that  his  conscientious  scru- 
ples did  not  allow  him  to  continue  therein.  After 
spending  some  time  in  foreign  travel  he  devoted 
himself  to  teaching,  in  which  avocation  he  had 
few  superiors.  He  was  now  the  principal  of  our 
school,  and  familiarly  named  "  Professor." 

I  went  down  to  the  parlor  and  met  him.  As  I 
entered,  he  arose  and  said,  "  Though  not  a  mem- 
ber of  any  Church,  I  do  not  believe  in  Sunday 
calls,  agreeing  perfectly  with  you  in  your  senti- 
ments on  that  subject  as  expressed  in  your  morn- 
ing discourse.  But  from  a  few  remarks  I  heard 
from  Miss  Luella  and  her  brother  at  school,  I  feel 
a  deep  interest  in  your  Sunday  afternoon  inter- 


.   ! 


The  Confessional :  Its  Influence .         133 


views  now  held  in  your  family,  and  I  have  come 
to  request  the  privilege  of  being  a  listener,  if  it 
be  not  asking  too  much,  or  intruding  upon  sacred 
privacies." 

"You  are  welcome,  Professor,  not  only  as  an 
auditor,  but  as  a  full  participant  in  our  conversa- 
tions. Thus  far,  at  least,  there  has  been  nothing 
said  which  we  are  not  willing  should  be  widely 
known.  Come  up,  please,  to  the  study  with  me, 
and  I  trust  you  may  be  able  to  impart  as  well  as 
to  receive  instruction." 

The  Professor  scarcely  needed  an  introduction, 
except  to  Monsieur  G.,  and,  because  of  his  affa- 
ble yet  unobtrusive  manners,  every  one  felt  per- 
fectly at  home  in  his  presence.  Taking  a  seat,  he 
asked  pardon  for  having  interrupted  us,  p,nd  ex- 
pressed the  hope  that  he  might  not  again  be  guilty 
of  a  like  offense. 

I  told  him  that  we  had  just  commenced  our 
conversation,  and  that  the  bell  rang  as  I  was 
about  to  answer  Luella's  question  as  to  what  were 
the  so-called  benefits  of  the  sacrament  of  penance, 
or  the  moral  influence  of  auricular  confession. 
He  nodded  assent,  as  much  as  to  say,  this  ques- 
tion perfectly  suits  me,  and  I  began :  "  There  is, 
no  doubt,  a  certain  class  in  the  Church  upon  which 
this  practice  has,  at    least    for  a  time,  a  salutary 


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Spiritual  Struggles. 


influence.  They  are  restrained  from  the  grosser 
vices  by  the  dread  they  have  of  the  upbraidings 
of  their  confessor,  accompanied,  it  may  be,  with 
his  refusal  of  absoUition.  A  youth  of  my  ac- 
quaintance, who  was  enticed  to  the  commission 
of  a  great  sin,  replied,  *  Wait  till  after  Easter, 
when  I  have  made  my  confession  and  communed.' 
Many  also  fear  the  penances  which  are  always  en- 
joined even  though  absolution  is  granted.  These 
consist  in  the  frequent  repetition  of  lengthy 
prayers,  or  in  reading  the  '  seven  penitential 
psalms,'  which  Galileo  was  compelled  to  recite 
every  week  for  three  years  in  succession — or  in 
protracted  and  painful  fastings.  Sometimes  pub- 
lic humiliations  are  imposed,  such  as  was  inflicted 
upon  a  school-mate  of  mine,  who  was  compelled 
to  kneel  in  the  middle  of  the  broad  central  aisle 
of  the  church,  where  every  body  could  see  him, 
and  where  he  remained  during  the  entire  service 
of  the  mass,  for  at  least  an  hour,  with  his  head 
bowed  almost  to  the  floor.  This  was  repeated 
several  times.  Occasionally  the  penance  consists 
of  going  barefoot  on  long  pilgrimages,  or  with  peas 
or  something  else  in  one's  shoes  to  hurt  or  annoy. 
Frequently  such  sufferings  are  self-imposed ;  and 
some  have  gone  so  far  as  to  severely  flog  them- 
selves,   or    even    to    wear    a    wide     iron     girdle 


TJic  Confessional :  Its  Lifluence.         135 


light  around  their  body,  producing  excruciating 
torture." 

"  I  had  an  uncle,"  said  Nora,  "who  nearly  killed 
himself  by  doing  penance.  He  was  a  very  devoted 
man,  and  we  sometimes  called  him  a  saint." 

"  Furthermore,"  I  continued,  "  the  confessional 
has  sometimes  assisted  in  recovering  stolen  prop- 
erty. For  instance,  a  lady  of  my  acquaintance,  by 
the  name  of  Forsyth,  residing  in  Keeseville,  N.  Y., 
had  a  brass  kettle  stolen  by  her  washer-woman, 
as  she  supposed,  who,  however,  denied  the  charge. 
Mrs.  F.  reported  her  conviction  to  the  parish 
priest,  whom  she  knew.  The  first  time  this  way- 
ward penitent  appeared  in  the  confessional,  the 
priest,  of  course,  watched  for  the  brass  kettle. 
The  woman  seemed  to  have  closed  her  confession, 
when  the  priest  asked,  '  And  is  there  nothing 
more  .'' '  *  Nothing  more,  my  ghostly  father,'  she 
replied.  *  Hark  !  *  said  the  priest,  '  what  sound  is 
this  I  hear  like  the  rattling  of  a  brass  kettle } ' 
Nothing  more  was  necessary.  Overwhelmed  by 
her  superstitious  dread  of  the  priest's  sup- 
posed supernatural  knowledge  and  power,  she 
confessed  the  whole,  and  the  next  morning 
Mrs.  Forsyth  found  her  kettle  by  the  kitchen 
door." 

"  Don't   you  wish  we  could  be  as  successful  in 


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Spiritual   Struggles. 


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finding  the  linen  which  was  taken  by  our  washer- 
woman ?  "  asked  Luella. 

"  Certainly ;  but  the  remedy  is  not  always  so 
sure  as  in  this  instance." 

"But  is  there  no  spiritual  good  in  the  confes- 
sional ?  "  inquired  Mrs.  B. 

"  Undoubtedly ;  there  are  times  when  persons 
under  peculiar  temptations  or  weaknesses  may  be 
properly  advised  or  assisted." 

"  But  are  these  advantages  sufficient  to  com- 
pensate for  what  we  know  to  be  its  evils  ?  "  asked 
Aunt  Melie. 

"  By  no  means.  Now,  in  order  the  better  to 
understand  the  subject,  let  us  look,  nrst,  at  the 
influence  of  the  confessional  on  the  priest.  The 
supernatural  power  with  which  it  is  assumed  he  is 
invested  is  enough  to  fill  any  human  heart  with 
pride,  and  to  intoxicate  any  brain  with  self-con- 
ceit. Arrayed  in  the  insignia  of  his  authority,  he 
sits  in  the  confessional  as  a  god  upon  a  throne  of 
judgment,  and  not  as  a  man.  In  the  book  called 
*  Grounds,'  page  29 — and  there  is  no  better  Cath- 
olic authority — it  is  written :  *  Christ  has  made 
the  pastors  of  his  Church  his  judges  in  the  court 
of  conscience,  with  commission  and  authority  to 
bind  or  to  loose,  to  forgive  or  to  retain  sins, 
according  to  the    merits   of   the   cause,  and  the 


The  Confessional:  Its  Lifiucncc.        137 


disposition  of  the  penitents.  Now,  as  no  judge 
can  pass  sentence  without  having  a  full  knowledge 
of  the  cause — which  cannot  be  had  in  this  kind 
of  causes  which  regard  men's  consciences  but  by 
their  own  confession — it  clearly  follows,  that  he 
who  has  made  the  pastors  of  his  Church  the  judges 
of  men's  consciences,  has  also  laid  an  obligation 
upon  the  faithful  to  lay  open  the  state  of  their 
consciences  to  them,  if  they  hope  to  have  their 
sins  remitted.' " 

"  Now,  I  see,"  said  the  Professor,  "  as  I  never  saw 
before,  the  secret  spring  of  power  in  the  Romish 
Church  !  It  explains  to  me  many  a  phenomenon 
which  I  had  witnessed,  and  for  which  I  could  find 
no  adequate  cause.  This  teaching  places  the  con- 
fessional above  all  civil  and  above  all  religious 
powers,  and  the  priest  above  every  earthly  ruler. 
For  by  his  word,  spoken  in  the  tribunal  of  con- 
science, he  can  abrogate  the  fealty  of  subjects  to 
their  king,  cancel  a  civil  obligation,  or  annul  a 
judicial  oath.  He  can  even  sever  the  marriage 
ties !  Indeed,  there  is  no  mischief  that  he  cannot 
do,  if  he  be  so  disposed.  When  I  consider  that 
millions  of  dollars'  worth  of  Church  property  and 
real  estate  are  in  their  hands,  with  vast  sums  of 
floating  capital  which  they  control,  besides  their 
annual  incomes,  which  must  be  immense,  I  can  see 


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138 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


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how  it  is,  that  adding  their  monetary  to  their  min- 
isterial power,  they  wield  so  tremendous  an  influ- 
ence in  the  realm  of  politics.  As  they  seldom 
make  speeches  or  publish  letters  on  the  subject 
of  politics  in  this  country — the  same  thing  cannot 
be  said  of  them  in  Canada,  however,  nor  in  Mex- 
ico, nor  even  in  Ireland,  nor  France,  where  I  wit- 
nessed their  operations — I  could  not  conjecture 
how  they  reached  the  masses ;  but  the  confes- 
sional reveals  the  hiding  of  their  power.  But  I 
am  consuming  too  much  of  your  precious  time 
with  these  remarks." 

"  Not  at  all,  Professor.  They  are  directly  to 
the  point,  and  no  man  is  better  fitted  to  make 
them  than  yourself.     Continue,  if  you  please." 

"  I  have  but  this  to  say  now,  that  I  cannot  see 
how  a  priest,  or  even  a  private  member  of  the 
Church,  can  honestly  take  the  oath  of  naturaliza- 
tion in  this  country,  when  it  is  admitted  that  the 
consciences  of  the  masses  are  in  the  hands  of  the 
priests,  (which  they  themselves  acknowledge,) 
and  that  the  priests  themselves  are  controlled 
under  solemn  vows  and  religious  oaths,  by  a  close 
ecclesiastical  corporation  having  the  Roman  Pon- 
tiff at  its  head.  Every  foreigner  who  desires  to 
be  naturalized  is  required  to  declare  on  oath,  in 
open  court,  'that  it  is  bona-Jide  his  intention    to 


! 


The  Confessional :  Its  Injlucnce.        139 

become  a  citizen  of  the  United  States,  and  to 
renounce  forever  all  allegiance  and  fidelity  to  any 
foreign  prince,  potentate,  State,  or  sovereignty 
whatever.*  Under  these  circumstances  I  am  con- 
vinced that  such  an  oath  by  a  Catholic  is  perjury, 
or,  at  least,  a  nullity.  For  there  is  not  a  Catholic, 
lay  or  clerical,  but  would  side  with  the  Pope  of 
Rome  in  the  event  of  a  conflict  with  our  authori- 
ties. The  demoralizing  influence  of  such  oaths 
has  been  seen  in  the  recent  revelation  of  unparal- 
leled frauds  committed  by  the  officials  of  New 
York  city,  nearly  all  of  whom  were  Catholics,  and 
all  evidently  under  priestly  control — a  control  ex- 
hibited in  the  vast  sums  of  money  and  land  grants 
which  have  been  annually  made  by  the  city  cor- 
poration to  build  up  and  extend  Roman  Catholic 
institutions  within  its  bounds.  This  is  true  of 
other  places  also.  As  a  lover  of  my  country  1  am 
jealous  of  these  corrupting  influences,  exerted 
mostly  by  foreign-born  citizens  and  priests — for 
nearly  all  their  priests  are  imported — in  the  inter- 
est of  a  religious  organization  which,  in  form  and 
spirit,  is  inimical  to  the  genius  of  our  institutions 
and  government.  Let  foreigners  worship  as  they 
think  best,  so  long  as  they  do  not  encroach  upon 
my  privileges  md  rights  as  a  citizen.  But  let 
them  not  baptize  political  trickery  and  usurpation 


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Spiritual  Struggles. 


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with  the  sacred  name  of  religion.  Now  I  have 
spoken  not  as  a  religionist  or  a  political  partisan, 
for  I  am  neither,  but  as  a  man." 

"  With  your  permission,"  I  remarked,  "  we  will 
consider  this  to  be  the  political  influence  of  the 
confessional,  a  topic  which,  without  your  pres- 
ence, must  have  been  wanting  in  our  discussion. 
Now  you  can  see  the  moral  efi'ect  of  such  assumed 
power  on  the  priest  himself.  His  spirit  being  thus 
inflated  with  false  conceptions  of  himself  and  of 
his  work,  think  of  the  influence  upon  his  heart 
and  mind,  of  the  revelations  of  human  depravity 
which  he  is  there  to  solicit  and  receive.  When 
he  takes  his  position  in  the  confessional,  the  'soiled 
doves '  of  his  Church  come  one  after  another  in 
rapid  succession,  flocking  at  his  feet.  Claiming 
to  have  power  to  pardon  all  sins,  he  must  first  hear- 
the  recital  of  them.  The  whole  heart  must  be 
opened  to  him.  Now  the  foulest  thoughts  ever 
conceived  or  even  conceivable ;  the  most  compli- 
cated plans  ever  laid  for  robbery,  seduction,  and 
even  murder;  the  blackest  deeds  that  midnight 
ever  witnessed ;  all  the  sins  and  crimes  of  child- 
hood, manhood,  womanhood,  old  age ;  on  the  part 
of  the  single  and  the  married  ;  in  secret,  in  public, 
in  the  family,  in  the  State,  with  all  the  attend- 
ing circumstances,  descending  even  to  disgusting 


She  Confessional :  Its  Influence,        141 

details,  which  modesty  declines  to  tell  * — all  this 
tide  of  corruption  is  poured  into  the  confessor's 
ears.  To  withstand  such  contaminating  influ- 
ences, one  must  be  more  than  human — must  pos- 
sess an  impeccable  nature,  which  no  priest  even 
professes  to  have.  Peter  Dens  in  his  volume  vi, 
p.  175,  says,  'That  confessor  who  is  every  day 
occupied  in  the  ministry  of  hearing  confessions, 
falls  very  seldom  in  comparison  with  the  times  he 
does  not  fall.'  He  speaks,  of  course,  from  per- 
sonal experience.  He  then  proceeds  in  his  works, 
which  are  extensively  used  in  all  clerical  colleges, 
to  present  what  legislation  he  deems  necessary  to 
redress  or  prevent  seductions  and  other  crimes  by 
the  priests  in  the  confessional,  acknowledging 
thereby  that  these  abominations  have  existed  and 
continue  to  exist. 

"  It  is  doubtless  true,  that  the  young  and  con- 
scientious priest  may  at  first  shrink  from  the  viper, 
and  endeavor  for  a  time  to  shield  himself  from 
the  venom  of  its  impurity;  but  he  soon  finds  his 
hold  upon  his  vows  of  chastity  giving  way,  and 
ere  long  realizes  what  thousands  of  this  class  have 
been  compelled  in  truth  to  confess,  that, 

'  When  once  a  shaking  monarchy  declines, 
Each  thing  grows  bold  and  to  its  fall  combines.' 


*  Dens*  "  Theology  in  Latin,"  vol.  vii,  pp.  149-153,  etc. 


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Spiritual  Struggles. 


An  inspired  apostle  has  laid  it  down  as  a  cardinal 
truth  in  relation  to  human  influence,  a  truth  cor- 
roborated by  all  history,  that  '  evil  communica- 
tions corrupt  good  manners,'  for  even  *  a  little 
leaven   leaveneth  the  whole  lump.'     And  a  poet 

says, 

'  Vice  is  a  monster  of  so  frightful  mien, 
As  to  be  hated,  needs  but  to  be  seen ; 
Yet  seen  too  oft,  familiar  with  her  face, 
We  first  endure,  then  pity,  then  embrace.'  " 

"  But  does  not  the  Church  impose  restraining 
checks,  and  has  she  not  the  power,"  inquired  the 
Professor,  "  to  annul  the  ordcis  and  consequent 
authority  of  fallen  or  wicked  priests }  " 

"  Here  is  what  she  says  on  this  subject.  In  the 
fourteenth  session  of  the  Council  of  Trent,  held 
November  25,  1551,  under  Pope  Julius  III.,  it  was 
enacted  as  follows,  and  the  clause  has  never  been 
repealed  :  *  The  Council  further  teaches,  that  even 
those  priests  who  are  living  in  mortal  sin  exercise 
the  function  of  forgiving  sins,  as  the  ministers  of 
Christ,  by  the  power  of  the  Holy  Ghost  conferred 
upon  them  in  ordination  ;  and  that  those  who  con- 
tend that  wicked  priests  have  not  this  power,  hold 
very  erroneous  sentiments.'  " 

"How  humiliating,"  exclaimed  Aunt  Melie,  "is 
this  confession  of  priestly  corruption  !  How  bold 
this  assumption  of  spiritual  power!  " 


The  Confessional:  Its  Influence.        143 


m 


■■;<! 


"  I  have  often  wondered,"  added  Nora,  "  how  the 
priests  get  along  with  hearing  so  much  wickedness. 
I  have  feared  that  many  of  them  even  love  to  hear 
it.  I  have  sometimes  shuddered,  too,  to  think 
that,  while  they  teach  that  no  one  should  partake 
of  the  holy  communion  without  having  just  before 
confessed  all  his  sins  and  received  absolution, 
under  pain  of  profanation  and  sacrilege,  they 
themselves  commune  every  time  they  celebrate 
mass,  which  many  of  them  do  every  day,  without 
having  confessed  their  sins,  perhaps,  for  a  long 
time,  and  just  after  hearing  such  awful  confessions 
as  I  know  they  must  hear !  " 

"  I  propose  we  leave  the  poor  priests,  Nora," 
interrupted  Luella,  "  and  hear  about  the  influence 
of  the  confessional  on  the  people." 

"  Very  well,"  I  replied,  "  I  think  it  may  easily  be 
inferred  from  what  has  already  been  said,  that  the 
influence  of  the  confessional  on  the  people  is,  to 
inspire  a  spirit  of  abject  and  servile  submission  to 
the  priest.  They  know  that  he  is  in  possession  of 
every  secret  of  their  families,  of  their  lives  and 
hearts,  themselves  having  been  the  informers. 
They  believe,  too,  that  he  can  open  or  shut  heav- 
en's door,  for  or  against  them.  Many  even  bolieve 
that  his  curse  is  able  to  metamorphose  their  bod- 
ies into  animal  forms,  or  to  bewitch  them.     Hence 


I  lit] 

m 


,-  ipti 


144 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


?  m 


|;r, 


their  willingness  to  perform  any  penance  he  may 
impose,  and  to  yield  to  any  request  he  may  make. 
All  these  privacies  are,  of  course,  kept  under  the 
secret  seal  of  confession,  an  obligation  on  priest 
and  penitent,  than  which  none  can  be  more  bind- 
ing and  solemn.  This  secret  extends  even  to 
crimes  which  one  may  intend  to  commit.*  I  speak 
from  experience  and  observation  when  I  say,  also, 
that  the  confessional  breeds  a  fearful  license  to 
immorality.  A  boy,  whom  I  was  reproving  for  a 
certain  sin,  remarked — for  we  were  boys  together 
— '  O,  it  does  not  matter  how  often  I  do  this,  I'll 
confess  it  to  the  priest  and  he'll  make  it  all  right, 
because  he  can  forgive  many  sins  as  easily  as  a 
few.*  *  As  confession  and  penance  are  much  easier 
than  the  extirpation  of  sin  from  the  heart,  and 
abandonment  of  vice  in  the  life,'  says  Dr.  Merle 
D'Aubigne,  *  many  cease  contending  against  the 
lusts  of  the  flesh,  and  prefer  gratifying  them  at  the 
expense  of  a  few  mortifications.*  This  spirit  more 
or  less  pervades  all  classes,  and  in  many  instances 
gives  the  passions  unbridled  liberty.*' 

"  I  had  occasion  to  witness  this  very  thing," 
added  the  Professor,  "  especially  in  Cuba  and  in 
the  South  American  States,  where   drunkenness, 


*  Dens,  vol.  vi,  p.  2i8.    Challoner's  "  Catholic  Instructed," 
p.  102. 


The  Confcssio7ial :  Its  Influence.        145 

licentiousness,  and  Sabbath  desecration  sweep, 
in  their  tide  of  corruption,  over  both  priests  and 
people." 

"The  confessional,"  I  continued,  "often  leads 
the  young  into  the  sinful  practices  which  it  pro- 
fesses to  check  or  to  remove,  and  even  encourages 
them  therein.  For  instance,  at  one  time,  when  I 
was  in  the  confessional,  the  priest  questioned  me 
in  relation  to  a  certain  class  of  sins  which  I  then 
knew  nothing  about,  This  awakened  no  small 
excitement  and  curiosity  in  me.  It  led  me  to 
study,  and  to  inquire  of  older  boys,  and  bolder 
sinners  than  myself,  until  I  learned  forms  of  wick- 
edness which,  had  it  not  been  for  the  confessional, 
I  might  never  have  known  ;  certainly  not  so  early." 

"  My  testimony  corroborates  yours,"  said  Mon- 
sieur G.,  pensively,  "  and  your  remarks  recall  sad 
experiences  which  fill  my  heart  with  burning 
memories,  and  with  bitterness  against  the  confes- 
sional. I  know  it  to  be  an  enginery  of  political 
and  spiritual  corruption,  the  details  of  which  it 
would  be  a  disgrace  to  reveal.  Here  is  a  power 
which  rules  the  conscience  and  stifles  its  voice ; 
which  creeps  secretly  into  houses  or  families,  and 
leads  captive  silly  women  and  children,  *  laden 
with  sins,  led  away  with  divers  lusts.*     This  truth 

I  also  found  in  the  Bible." 
10 


m 


^■1? 


pi 

r 

m 


W<^.^ 


m\ 


146 


Spiritual   Struggles. 


"  While  my  experience  and  sentiments  agree 
with  yours  in  the  main,"  added  Nora,  "  I  was  such 
a  little  mischief  when  very  young  that  I  was  never 
taught  any  thing  new  in  the  confessional ;  and  yet 
the  priest  often  asked  me  questions  which  made 
me  blush  with  shame." 

"And  yet  the  confessional,"  I  went  on  to  say, 
*'  is  the  only  door  to  the  various  privileges  of  the 
Church.  The  proselyte  must  enter  the  confes- 
sional before  he  does  the  Church,  generally  before 
he  can  be  baptized.  Confession  stands  before 
communion,  before  marriage,  before  '  extreme 
unction  '  and  death,  if  the  dying  have  suffic-ent 
strength  for  the  task.  And  yet  while  this  is  un- 
doubtedly the  throne  of  priestly  power  in  the 
Church,  it  is  also  the  seat  of  spiritual  weakness, 
because  its  remedies  are  not  specific  and  satisfac- 
tory, and,  indeed,  cannot  be." 

With  these  remarks  came  the  hour  for  breaking 
up  our  interview. 


Great  Struggles  and  False  Refuges.      147 


never 
id  yet 
made 

0  say, 
of  the 
onfes- 
before 
before 
sctreme 
ffic'ent 
is  un- 
in  the 
kness, 
tisfac- 

feaking 


VIII. 

GREAT  STRUGGLES  AND  FALSE  REFUGES — THE 

SCAPULAR. 

Lo,  thou  trustest  in  the  staff  of  this  broken  reed,  on  Egypt ; 
whereon  if  a  man  lean,  it  will  go  into  his  hand,  and  pierce  it, 
— Isaiah. 

THE  constant  recurrence  of  an  event  so 
greatly  removes  its  novelty,  that,  particu- 
larly with  children,  it  is  apt  to  become  stale  or 
uninteresting.  Therefore,  I  had  feared  that  our 
gatherings  would  soon  lose  their  interest  for  our 
children's  minds,  and  thus  fail  of  accomplishing 
the  good  I  desired.  But  I  was  mistaken.  The 
facts  presented  were  not  only  unfolding  the  inner 
workings  of  a  gigantic  and  wonderful  religious 
organization,  whose  outer  manifestations  are  con- 
stantly before  our  eves,  but  they  also  revealed  the 
influence  of  this  organization  upon  the  spiritual 
life  and  conduct  of  those  around  us,  even  of  some 
who  were  prominent  in  our  discussions.  There 
was,  of  course,  a  special  interest  in  the  develop- 
ment of  my  own  experience.  So,  on  meeting — 
and  every  one  was  promptly  on  time — the  general 


',  1 


148 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


inquiry  seemed  to  be  as  to  what  power  the  doc- 
trines and  doings  which  I  had  attempted  to 
describe  had  exerted  upon  my  inner  life,  and  I 
commenced. 

"  When  I  was  very  young,  deep  religious  im- 
pressions were  made  upon  my  heart.  At  the  age 
of  ten  or  twelve  I  was  pungently  convicted  of  sin. 
Having  read  a  little  tract  in  French,  entitled 
^EtermUy*  an  impression  was  received  which  time 
never  obliterated.  For  many  weeks  after  this  my 
heart  was  sad,  and  every  night  after  retiring  I 
spent  hours  in  meditating  upon  my  sins,  and  my 
unpreparedness  for  eternity,  and  often  wept  until 
my  pillow  was  wet  with  tears." 

*'  But  why  did  you  not  go  to  Jesus  to  beg  his 
pardon,  as  you  have  taught  us  to  do.?"  asked 
Johnnie,  weeping  as  he  spoke. 

"  Simply  because  I  had  no  one  to  direct  me  to 
this  sovereign  remedy.  But  I  was  taught  by  my 
mother  to  go  and  confess  to  the  priest.  This  I 
did  in  the  most  sincere,  devout,  and  thorough 
manner." 

"  Did  you  find  the  relief  you  desired } "  he 
asked. 

"  I  experienced  a  momentary  relief  when  the 
disagreeable  task  was  done,  accompanied  with  the 
vague  and  blind   belief  that  all  was  right.     But 


Great  Struggles  and  False  Refuges.     149 

there  would  still  arise  the  longing,  '  O  that  I 
could  know  that  my  sins  are  indeed  blotted  out !  * 
Had  I  possessed  a  thousand  worlds  I  would  cheer- 
fully have  consecrated  them  all  to  know  even  for 
a  single  moment  that  my  sins  were  removed  from 
me  *  as  far  as  the  east  is  from  the  west.'  But  I 
was  told  that  this  is  a  great  mystery  which  no  hu- 
man mind  can  comprehend ;  and  that  I  must, 
therefore,  leave  it  all  to  the  power  and  good  inten- 
tions of  the  priest.  But  the  teachings  of  my  intel- 
lect could  not  repress  the  yearnings  of  my  heart. 
My  soul  was  '  like  the  troubled  sea,'  when  it  can- 
not rest,  'whose  waters  cast  up  mire  and  dirt.* 
And  as  with  ocean  waves,  ebbing  and  flowing, 
there  was  a  perpetual  moaning  and  oscillation 
between  sighing  and  tears — a  condition  well  ex- 
pressed by  the  poet  Montgomery  : — 

'"  O  where  shall  rest  be  found, — 
Rest  for  the  weary  soul  ? 
'1  A^ere  vain  the  ocean's  depths  to  sound, 
Or  pierce  to  either  pole.* 

"  When  I  made  my  first  communion — " 
"  O,  what  is  that }  "  interrupted  Johnnie,  rather 
abruptly. 

"  It  is  the  first  time  one  partakes  of  the  holy 
communion.  The  child  then  is  expected  volun- 
tarily to  assume  the  vows  taken  by  his  sponsors. 


(■'■■■I 


■^ 


.% 


i?.  n 


'J'  ■  vA 


' 


M!! 


n 


III 


ii 


m  m 


ISO 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


or  god-father  and  god-mother,  at  the  time  of  bap- 
tism. The  Catechism  has  first  to  be  thoroughly 
learned.  The  Sabbath  previous  to  the  real  com- 
munion, in  order  to  prepare  the  candidates  more 
perfectly  for  that  solemn  event,  all  the  children 
sufficiently  versed  in  the  Catechism,  and  supposed 
to  be  truly  penitent,  enjoy  what  they  call  ^com- 
munion en  blanc*  You  can  interpret  it  either 
communion  in  white,  or  in  blank,  for  it  is  both. 
The  little  girls  are  all  dressed  in  white,  and  the 
boys  as  nearly  so  as  possible,  and  each  is  garlanded 
with  wreaths  of  flowers  and  evergreens.  After 
performing  various  ceremonies,  at  the  proper  time 
they  are  led  to  the  altar,  and  the  priest  goes 
through  the  regular  process  of  administering  com- 
munion to  them  with  unconsecrated,  that  is,  with 
*  blank*  wafers.  The  week  following  is  generally 
spent  in  solemn  devotions,  such  as  going  frequently 
to  confession,  perhaps  every  day ;  spending  many 
hours  in  church  repeating  and  reading  prayers; 
fasting  and  performing  other  penances,  until  the 
Sabbath  arrives.  Then  the  services  are  made 
especially  impressing,  and  the  occasion  is  long 
remembered. 

"  When  I  made  my  first  communion,  I  was  as 
truly  penitent  as  it  seems  to  me  any  one  could 
be.     It  was  not  with  me  as  I  am  sure  it  is  with 


Great  Struggles  and  False  Refuges.     1 5  i 


many,  who,  as  the  day  of  confession  approaches, 
grow  restless  and  gloomy,  and  who  mistake  the 
shame  of  their  disgusting  disclosure  for  the  sincere 
repentance  of  their  sins.  For  at  least  forty-eight 
hours  I  wept  almost  incessantly.  My  soul  was  in 
an  agony  of  desire  to  be  freed  from  its  load  of  sin. 
I  panted  for  freedom.  I  fasted  until  I  well  nigh 
fainted.  Sin  !  I  hated  it ;  I  abhorred  it.  I  hated 
myself,  because  I  was  a  sinner.  There  was  no 
penance  I  was  not  willing  to  perform  ;  and  I  confi- 
dently expected  help  from  the  ordinances  of  God's 
house.  But  all  my  promises  of  reformation  and 
my  prayers,  added  to  those  of  the  priest  and  his 
absolution,  were  in  vain.  The  fountain  of  my 
disease  had  not  been  reached.  I  was  still  a  slave, 
sold  under  sin.  I  saw  what  seemed  to  be  right, 
but  failed  to  do  it ;  I  knew  what  was  wrong,  and 
yet  did  it.  The  temple  of  my  soul  was  in  ruins. 
My  heart  was  the  hold  of  every  foul  spirit,  and  a 
cage  of  every  unclean  and  hateful  bird  and  beast, 
each  clamoring  for  the  ascendency.  My  intellect- 
ual faculties  had  declared  war  against  my  moral 
nature,  and  my  bodily  infirmities  and  wants  had 
taken  up  arms  against  both.  There  was  a  contra- 
diction, a  conflict  within  me." 

"O,  father!"  exclaimed  Luella,  "how  perfectly 
that  condition  is  described  in  the  seventh  chapter 


hi 


if 


■ 


"*^ 


l>! 


152 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


j  } 


■(|l:  II 


'i ' 


of  Paul's  epistle  to  the  Romans."  She  then  ntad 
from  the  fourteenth  verse  to  nearly  the  close  of 
the  chapter,  ending  with  the  lamentation,  "  O, 
wretched  man  that  I  am  !  who  shall  deliver  me 
from  the  body  of  this  death  ?  " 

"  Yes  ;  that  was  the  wail  of  my  weary  soul.  But 
to  my  pitiful  inquiry  came  back  the  sad,  the  only 
echo,  *Who.'**  There  were  inward  cravings  and 
yearnings  which  found  no  satisfaction  in  external 
rites.  Indeed,  these  ceremonies  only  complicated 
and  increased  my  difficulties.  I  found  I  had  leaned 
upon  a  reed  which  not  only  broke,  but  whose 
splintered  and  jagged  ends  made  a  fearful  wound 
in  my  spirit,  for  the  healing  of  which  I  knew  no 
balm." 

"  O  !  "  exclaimed  Monsieur  G.,  "  why  is  it  that  I, 
in  having  a  similar  experience,  should  have  thought 
that  no  one  else  ever  had  such  trouble  as  myself.'* 
You  have  described  my  own  struggles  of  soul  even 
better  than  I  could  have  done." 

"  Few  persons,  if  any,"  I  replied,  *'  have,  as  I 
have  learned,  a  unique  experience ;  and  yet  nearly 
every  one  is  tempttd  to  believe  that  no  one  can 
ever  know  his  griefs  and  truly  care  for  his  soul. 
This,  too,  was  a  sore  trial  to  me  at  the  time.  But 
I  have  not  told  you  all  I  wish  to.  Other  expe- 
dients  to    relieve    my   spiritual    distresses  were 


Great  Struggles  and  False  Refuges.     153 


suggested,  accompanied  with  greater  fastings  and 
more  humiliating  prayers.  I  was  taught  that  con- 
firmation— a  sacrament  which,  like  baptism,  can 
be  received  but  once,  and  at  the  hands  of  a  bishop 
— would  impart  to  me  the  '  Holy  Ghost,  and  make 
me  strong,  and  a  perfect  Christian  and  soldier  of 
Jesus  Christ.'  Bishop  John  McCloskey,  then  of 
the  diocese  of  Albany,  now  Archbishop  of  New 
York,  was  about  to  visit  Ticonderoga  to  adminis- 
ter this  holy  sacrament.  I  looked  forward  to  the 
occasion  with  unusual  interest.  All  due  prepara- 
tion of  heart  and  mind  was  made  for  the  longed- 
for  day.  By  the  parish  priest,  Mr.  Olivetti,  an 
Italian,  residing  at  Whitehall,  N.  Y.,  at  whose 
hand  1  had  communed,  I  was  regarded  as  having 
made  sufficient  proficiency  in  the  preceding  de- 
gree to  entitle  me  to  this,  and  with  others  I  was 
presented  for  this  final  seal  of  discipleship,  to  be 
confirmed  in  the  faith,  and  fortified  against  all  its 
visible  and  invisible  enemies.  My  soul  breaking 
out  with  intense  longing  for  divine  assistance,  I 
stood  before  that  august  prelate,  a  splendid  man 
to  look  upon,  attired  in  his  episcopal  robes ;  was 
anointed  with  the  holy  chrism  in  the  sign  of  the 
cross  on  my  forehead,  and  dismissed  with  the  tap 
of  his  jeweled  finger  on  my  cheek,  accompanied 
with  the  blessing,  ^t>ax  tecumy  that  is,  peace  be 


' 


'ii'-niFm 


■>f' 


4  - 


■  > 

1 

\i ' 

il 

'  A'-' 

|; 

''■'i 

}'    '  *    '1    ii 

III 

,    ■!              : 

'■  1 

li       '      '          ill 

1 

':-i 

•  •'  ^     i                           1 

If:      ■ 

ii: 

i 

154 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


with  thee.  Then  I  retired  to  test  in  real  life  the 
blessing  which  they  assured  me  was  then  given  to 
me.  But,  alas !  alas !  what  were  my  subsequent 
dismay  and  despair  when  I  discovered  that,  like 
the  woman  spoken  of  in  the  gospels,  '  I  was  noth- 
ing bettered,  but  rather  grew  worse.'  I  was  not 
more  wicked  than  before,  but  I  felt  more  corrup- 
tion within.  With  every  increased  effort  to  over- 
come sin,  I  saw  more  and  more  vividly  my  sinful- 
ness and  helplessness.  The  chained  or  caged 
tiger  when  asleep  or  in  quiet  may  seem  as  free  as 
his  fellows  which  rest  in  the  deep  jungles;  but 
when  he  tugs  at  his  chain,  or  lashes  in  vain  the 
iron  bars,  he  feels  his  bondage  and  weakness.  So 
the  *  law  of  sin  and  death  '  held  me  fast,  and  had 
I  known  the  words,  my  cry  would  have  been, 

"•  Nor  bleeding  bird,  nor  bleeding  beast, 
Nor  hyssop  branch,  nor  sprinkling  priest. 
Nor  running  brook,  nor  flood,  nor  sea, 
Can  w'^h  the  dismal  stain  away.' 

"  My  state  was  deplorable  beyond  description. 
Often  when  alone — and  I  greatly  courted  solitude, 
and  many  times  contemplated  the  life  of  a  hermit, 
such  as  I  had  read  of  in  the  history  of  the  so- 
called  saints  of  the  Middle  Ages — I  was  ,  o  con- 
sumed by  my  inward  griefs  and  filled  with  unut- 
terable agony,  that  I  would  often  cease  from  work, 


Grea^  Struggles  and  False  Refuges.     155 

if  employed,  and  stand  for  many  minutes  like  a 
mute,  cold  statue.  And  yet  I  was  at  times  ex- 
tremely gay  in  society,  where  I  sought  to  drown 
my  hidden  woes.  No  one  of  my  acquaintances 
was  more  social  and  vivacious  than  myself,  and  I 
was  often  the  leader  in  games,  sports,  and  tricks, 
sometimes  spending  whole  nights  in  convivialities. 
But  more  than  once  in  the  midst  of  a  game  at 
cards,  or  in  the  figures  of  a  dance,  or  in  a  lively 
chit-chat  with  friends,  I  was  seized  with  a  strange 
conviction  of  my  sinfulness  that  I  was  scarcely  able 
to  hide  from  those  around  me.  When  I  was  alone 
I  sighed  for  something  I  could  not  find.  I  was  an 
enigma  to  myself,  filled  with  the  extremes  of  gay- 
ety  and  griefs,  of  sunshine  and  shade,  with  a  tinct- 
ure of  soul-bitterness  diffused  through  the  whole. 
**  At  times  my  nature  seemed  to  be  an  ugly  con- 
glomeration of  hyena  teeth  and  wasp  stings,  of 
serpent  scales  and  porcupine  quills,  thoroughly 
sprinkled  with  fire  and  brimstone,  for  I  had  a  ter- 
ribly high  temper,  which,  when  aroused,  was  fear- 
ful and  cruel ;  and  yet  I  was  capable  of  the  most 
delicate  appreciation  of  the  beautiful  in  nature 
and  in  morals,  and  my  heart  was  open  to  the  ten- 
derest  sympathies.  The  war-like,  poetic,  and 
religious  spirit  of  my  ancestors  had  in  me  a 
strange    blending.      Some    days    I  was  woefully 


1  , 


\ 


'II 


h   'i 


M 


N   ; 


.(  I 


It  ' 


1,1 'I 


:    1  |lilill 

:|l                     '':'!|i| 

J^ 

■■56 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


wicked,  and  yet  my  conscience  was  so  tender  that 
if  through  haste,  in  the  morning,  I  happened  to 
perform  any  ordinary  labor  before  offering  my 
prayer;  or  if  I  failed  to  give  due  attention  to  the 
prayer — though  every  one  will  easily  see  the  dif- 
ficulty of  repeating  every  day  from  memory  a 
prayer  in  an  unknown  tongue  without  wanderings 
of  thought;  or  if,  by  mistake,  I  chanced  even  to 
taste  meat  on  Friday,  or  was  guilty  of  any  similar 
delinquency,  I  was  thrown  into  a  kind  of  spiritual 
convulsion,  from  which  I  could  not  recover  until 
I  had  confessed  it  all  to  the  priest,  and  performed 
my  penance.  All  this  was  far  from  relieving  me; 
but  when  the  old  score  was  canceled,  I  seemed  to 
run  into  other  spiritual  debts  with  a  somewhat 
lighter  heart.  I  might  have  applied  to  myself, 
with  a  good  degree  of  appropriateness,  the  quaint 
old  couplet : — 

*' '  To  good  and  evil  equal  bent, 
I'm  both  a  devil  and  a  saint,' 

And  thus  in  grief  my  days  passed  wearily  by,  my 

soul  muttering  constantly  the  sentiments  of  a  few 

lines  in  Lee's  Mithridates,  which  I  afterward 
found : — 

*' '  What  raimcle 
Can  work  me  into  hope  !     Heaven  here  is  bankrupt; 
The  vi^ondering  gods  bhish  at  their  want  of  power, 
And,  quite  abashed,  confess  they  cannot  help  me!'" 


■   V 


■'El 


Great  Struggles  and  False  Refuges.     157 

**  I  can  scarcely  comprehend,"  said  the  Professor, 
who  had  not  yet  spoken  a  word,  "  how  you  coald 
endure  such  constant  grief  without  breaking  down 
your  constitution." 

"  I  ought  to  mention,  to  the  praise  of  God,  that 
he  gave  me  a  constitution  endowed  with  rare  pow- 
ers of  endurance.  For  upward  of  thirty  years  I 
have  not  been  detained  from  the  labors  of  my 
vocation  a  single  half  day,  nor  confined  to  the 
house  one  hour  by  illness — this  is  true,  though 
two  and  a  half  of  those  years  were  spent  in  the 
trying  campaigns  of  the  armies  of  the  Potomac 
and  of  the  Shenandoah,  including  three  months' 
confinement  in  Libby  Prison,  in  the  midst  of  star- 
vation, filthiness,  and  death.  To  pains  and  aches, 
however,  I  am  comparatively  a  stranger.  But  I 
ought  to  mention  as  a  reason  for  thi?  physical 
soundness  and  strength,  that  from  childhood  I 
have  strictly  adhered  to  a  total  abstinence  pledge, 
and  have  never  made  use  of  tobacco  in  any  form. 
I  have  made  the  '  laws  of  health  '  a  subject  of 
study  and  practice.  And  I  believe  that  the  teach- 
ing of  these  principles — so  frequently  urged  in  the 
Bible — especially  to  the  young,  is  a  great  want  of 
the  times.  Excuse  me,  if  you  please,  for  this 
digression. 

"  But  to  my  spiritual  griefs  there  were  also  given 


» 


h 


TT" 


li 


158 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


ij 

f 

]  j 

1 

1      '  :               ,:  :Si 

1 ;            ; . 

1                                                    ,  ' 

^  1 

J              '  1                                       '1 

i    r           J^ 

iju^^    ;,| 

intervals  of  comparative  rest,  though,  '  like  angels' 
visits,  they  were  few  and  far  between.'  My  prin- 
cipal relief  was  found  in  religious  devotions.  So 
I  increased  my  fastings  and  prayers.  I  had  fre- 
quent recourse  to  the  Virgin  Mary  and  to  my 
patron  saint.  I  often  visited  the  church,  and  went 
through  the  via  cruets,  or  way  of  the  cross,  making 
prayers  at  the  different  stations  in  the  Passion  of 
our  Lord,  represented  by  the  images  on  the  walls, 
dolefully  dragging  myself  on  my  knees  around  the 
entire  church.  I  repeated  my  confessions  to  the 
priest  and  received  the  communions,  but  these  I 
found  to  my  great  grief  availed  me  even  less  than 
at  first,  for  they  became  more  mechanical,  less 
earnest  and  real." 

"I  should  think,"  said  Luella,  "that  you  would 
have  become  discouraged  and  given  up  all  hope." 

"I  probably  should,  had  not  other  refuges  been 
presented.  I  was  taught  to  expect  assistance  in 
*  extreme  unction'  and  'purgatory.'  But  these 
were  future,  and  hence  not  wholly  satisfactory. 
The  promise  of  food  next  week  does  not  satisfy 
the  hunger  of  to-day ;  and  it  a  .  ails  nothing  at  all, 
unless  you  have  ground  to  hope  that  you  will  hold 
out  until  the  expected  relief  arrives.  But  here 
was  my  perplexity.  I  was  taught  that  extreme 
unction  is  a  holy  sacrament  which  imparts  spirit- 


Great  Struggles  and  False  Refuges.     159 


;e  in 
.hese 
|tory. 
Ltisfy 
It  all, 

hold 
Ihere 

•erne 
birit- 


ual  succor  to  the  sick  and  dying,  and  that  no  one 
receiving  it  can  possibly  be  lost." 

*'  Is  not  that  substantially  the  teaching  of  St. 
James  .<*  "  asked  Nora. 

"  Wot  at  all,  Nora,  as  I  understand  the  passage. 
St.  James  recommends  the  oil  to  be  used  medic- 
inally, as   is   the  practice  in  those   eastern  lands 
even  to  this  day.     The  good  Samaritan  poured  oil 
in  the  wounds  of  the  afflicted  man.     It  was   evi- 
dently the  prayer  of  faith,  as   St.  James  tells  us, 
that  should  raise  the  sick,  if  a  miraculous  raising 
were  effected.     The  oil  was  only  a  natural  remedy, 
and  the  effect  was  natural.     But  the  priests  of  the 
Catholic  Church  use  it,  not  with  the  intention  of 
raising  the  sick — for  they  never  administer  it  when 
there  is  even  a  prospect  of  recovery — but  to  pre- 
pare the  sick  to  die.     This  is  not  the  intent  of 
St.  James.     The  administration  of  extreme  unc- 
tion in  Canada  is  made  a  season  of  great  solemnity. 
I  have  several  times  assisted  the  priest  in  this  holy 
office.     He,  carrying  the  consecrated  wafer  in  its 
golden  pyx,  marches  solemnly  from  the  church  to 
the   house   of  the   dying,  accompanied  by   a  few 
acolytes,  one  of  whom,  or  the   sexton,  preceding 
him  some  distance,  rings  a  hand-bell,  the  peculiar 
sound  of  which  is  readily  understood  by  all  who 
hear  it,  to  announce  that  ''  le  bon  Dieu^'  the  good 


m 


■.<   -■i^ 


m 


t  I       ■' 


i 


ilS! 


r    M  J 


1}      I 


mil- 


'\k 


;l-"i(  r  i 


mi 


til'  i 


:ii|! 


160 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


God,  even  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ  himself,  is  about 
to  pass  by.  Every  body,  thus  forewarned,  is  ready 
as  the  priest  comes  to  kneel  down  either  in  the 
street,  or  in  the  house,  or  shop,  or  field,  and  with 
bowed  head  to  worship  the  passing  deity."  , 

"But,"  exclaimed  Johnnie,  "  how  is  it  that  we 
never  see  any  such  processions  in  this  country  ?  " 

"  Simply  because  in  these  parts,  they  carry  the 
wafer  god  more  privately,"  Aunt  Melie  replied. 

"  To  prevent  scandal,"  added  Nora,  "  where 
there  are  so  many  Protestant  unbelievers." 

"  I  cannot  see,"  said  Luella,  "  how  any  thing 
scriptural,  any  thing  which  ought  to  be  done  for 
the  dying,  could  be  scandalous." 

Nora  seemed  to  feel  the  force  of  the  remark 
and  remained  thoughtfully  silent,  w^hile  I  went  on. 

"  The  priest,  having  reached  the  place,  orders 
tapers  or  candles  to  be  lighted,  repeats  many 
prayers  and  litanies,  and  then  making  three  times 
the  sign  of  the  cross  upon  the  sick  person  at  the 
name  of  each  person  of  the  Trinity,  says,  '  In  the 
name  of  the  Father,  and  of  the  Son,  and  of  the 
Holy  Ghost,  may  all  power  of  the  devil  be  extin- 
guished in  thee  by  the  laying  on  of  our  hands,  and 
the  invocation  of  all  the  holy  angels,  archangels, 
patriarchs,  prophets,  apostles,  martyrs,  confessors, 
virgins,   and   all  the    saints.'      Then    dipping  his 


Great  Struggles  and  False  Refuges.^  i6i 


^! 


bout 

eady 

1  the 

with 


It  we 

;ry  ? 
•y  the 
ed. 
where 

thing 
me  for 

emark 

iiit  on. 

orders 
many 

;  times 

at  the 

In  the 

of  the 

extin- 

ds,  and 

angels, 

fessors, 

mg  his 


thumb  in  the  chrism,  he  anoints  the  sick  person 
in  the  form  of  the  cross  upon  the  eyes,  ears,  nose, 
mouth,  hands,  and  feet ;  at  each  anointing  making 
use  of  this  form  of  prayer :  *  Through  this  holy 
unction,  and  His  own  most  tender  mercy,  may  the 
Lord  pardon  thee  whatever  sin  thou  hast  com- 
mitted by  thy  sight.  Amen.'  And  so  of  the  hear- 
ing, and  the  rest,  adapting  the  form  to  the  several 
senses."* 

"  I  should  think  that  would  be  enough  to  kill 
even  a  well  person !  "  added  Aunt  Melie. 

"  But  the  impression  made  upon  my  mind  was, 
that  so  imposing  a  ceremony  must  be  quite  effica- 
cious to  prepare  the  soul  for  its  exit  from  earth, 
and  so  I  was  taught.  I  knew  that  only  a  priest 
could  administer  this  sacrament,  and  that  when 
any  one  was  sick  we  always  sent  for  him  sooner 
than  for  the  physician.  This  inspired  in  me  such 
strong  yearnings  toward  the  priesthood  that  I 
resolved  either  to  become  a  priest  myself,  or  to  be 
somewhat  associated  with  one,  so  that  I  could  not 
fail  to  secure  his  services  in  the  dying  hour.  This 
desire  was  intensified  by  hearing  my  father  pray 
during  Lent — the  only  time  we  had  family  worship 
— that  God  would  save  us  from  sudden  death. 
But  my  father  was  too  poor  to  afford  to  educate 

*  Challoner's  "  Catholic  Instructed,"  p.  ill. 
11 


! 


1 62 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


i  ( 


me  for  a  priest,  or  even  to  spare  me  to  be  the 
servant  of  one.  Here  was  another  serious  ob- 
stacle to  my  salvation.  These  untoward  circum- 
stances caused  me  no  little  uneasiness. 

"  But  right  in  the  midst  of  these  perplexities 
it  seemed  as  if  Providence  smiled  on  me.  A  mis- 
sion, or  what  we  would  call  '  a  series  of  extra  meet- 
ings/ was  held  in  our  town,  under  the  direction 
and  labors  of  brothers  Telmon,  Lagier,  and  others, 
known  as  the  Oblate  missionaries  ;  and  during 
these  meetings  they  presented  the  saving  and 
miraculous  influences  of  the  scapular'^ 

At  the  mention  of  this  word  the  Professor,  who 
sat  near  the  table,  took  the  dictionary,  and  finding 
the  place,  read  :  "  K  part  of  the  habit  of  certain  re- 
ligious orders  in  the  Roman  Catholic  Church,  con- 
sisting of  two  bands  of  woolen  .stuff  worn  over  the 
gown,  of  which  one  crosses  the  back  or  shoulder, 
and  the  other  the  stomach.  This  is  worn  as 
a  badge  of  peculiar  veneration  for  the  Virgin 
Mary." 

When  he  had  closed  the  book  I  said  :  "  But  as 
this  mode  of  wearing  the  scapular  would  not  be 
convenient  for  laboring  people,  those  'brothers' 
directed  us  to  make  them  of  two  small  pieces  of 
woolen  stuff  two  or  three  inches  square,  but  double, 
so  as  to  form  a   receptacle    for    medals    of    the 


Great  Struggles  and  False  Refuges,     163 


virgin,  or  relics  of  some  old  saint,  or  an  agnus  Dei, 
which  is  a  cake  of  wax  stamped  with  the  figure  of 
a  lamb  supporting  the  banner  of  the  cross,  blessed 
by  the  pope  with  solemn  prayer,  and  anointed 
with  holy  chrism.  This,  too,  is  supposed  to  pos- 
sess the  power  of  preserving  those  who  carry  it,  in 
faith,  from  accidents  and  sudden  death.  These 
two  double  pieces  of  cloth,  fastened  together  by 
two  strings  or  ribbons  which  pass  on  either  side 
of  the  neck,  were  to  be  worn  next  the  body,  one 
on  the  breast,  the  other  on  the  back." 

Here  I  unlocked  a  little  box  and  exhibited  to 
the  company  a  scapular,  which  Mrs.  B.  had  made 
for  this  occasion. 

**  Why  !  "  exclaimed  Johnnie,  ''  it  is  just  like 
what  I  saw  on  several  boys  last  summer,  when  we 
went  into  the  river  bathing.  They  tied  them  fast 
around  their  necks,  '  for  fear  of  losing  them,*  they 
said.  And  when  I  asked  what  they  were,  and  why 
they  did  not  take  them  off  and  leave  them  with 
their  clothes,  they  blushed,  but  would  not  tell  me." 

While  he  was  talking,  Nora  quickly  disappeared 
from  the  room,  but  soon  returning  with  a  scapular 
in  one  hand  and  an  agnus  Dei  in  the  other,  she 
gave  the  former  to  Johnnie  and  the  latter  to  Mary, 
observing : — "  There,  I  have  been  fooled  long 
enough  !    For  nearly  five  years  I  have  been  wearing 


i'f 


'Mm 

1 1  ■ 


M 


Ill 


?!.| 


j  11 


!    i    i 


Hn    ! . 

^H 

1  : 

ill'                            ' 
1  !  '      ■ 

4     '                  ' 

1  !    1:                                 :    '   ''9 

m    f '      1' 

HH^^SHHiuiii  liiiiihl 

164 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


these  trinkets  and  trusting  in  them,  instead  of 
trusting  in  the  only  Lamb  of  God.  You  may  have 
them  as  mementoes  of  my  former  ignorance,  or 
for  playthings."  This  brief  speech  had  an  elec- 
trical effect  on  every  one.  When  quiet  was  re- 
stored, I  further  explained  : — 

"  We  were  told  that  this  thing  originated  with 
Simon  Stock,  general  of  the  Carmelites,  an  order 
of  monks.  The  celebrated  P^re  Hyacinthe,  now 
one  of  the  leaders  of  the  '  Old  Catholic  '  party  in 
Europe,  formerly  belonged  to  this  order.  It  was 
said  that  while  this  Simon  was  engaged  in  devo- 
tions on  or  about  July  16,  1251,  the  Virgin  Mary 
appeared  to  him." 

"  Times  must  have  changed  since  Gospel  days," 
interrupted  Luella,  with  a  play  of  irony  in  her 
manner,  "  for  I  read  that  Jesus  then  appeared  to 
Simon,  but  I  have  never  read  in  the  Bible  that  the 
Virgin  Mary  after  death  ever  appeared  to  any  of 
the  sacred  writers." 

"  I  am  giving  you  the  authority  of  the  Roman 
Catholic  Church  now.  Please  keep  this  in  mind. 
As  the  account  went,  the  virgin  had  a  scapular  in 
her  hands,  which  she  placed  upon  the  devout  monk, 
and  assured  him  that  whoever  should  wear  a  sim- 
ilar one  in  her  honor,  and  daily  repeat  an  Ave 
Maria  and  Pater  nostery  should  not  die  in  mortal 


Great  Struggles  and  False  RefugiS.     165 


sin,  that  is,  without  the  succors  of  the  priesthood. 
We  were  furlher  told  that  the  thing  had  never 
failed  to  afford  the  promised  relief,  numberless 
miracles  of  preservation  from  death  on  land  and 
sea  being  cited  to  prove  the  efficacy  of  the  great 
revelation,  and  to  stimulate  the  faith  of  the  people. 
"  This  was  just  the  thing  I  wanted.  At  the 
close  of  the  service,  during  which  I  had  listened 
with  rapt  attention  to  these  wonderful  disclosures, 
I  ran  home  to  relate  what  I  had  heard  to  my 
mother,  who  had  remained  busy  with  her  work ; 
for  we  were  carrying  on  a  brisk  trade  in  eatables 
and  home-made  beer  with  the  multitudes  who 
were  attracted  to  these  meetings  from  all  the  '  re- 
gion round  about.'  I  quickly  described  to  her  the 
scapular,  and  soon  the  whole  family,  who  appeared 
quite  as  much  interested  as  myself,  was  supplied 
with  these  holy  life-preservers,  and  ready  to  be 
received  into  the  order.  The  day  was  appointed 
for  the  solemn  service  of  inauguration,  and  thou- 
sands came  together  of  old  and  young,  each  bring- 
ing his  new-made  scapular  with  him.  Some  were 
beautifully  wrought  in  the  highest  style  of  needle- 
work, while  others  were  very  plain.  At  the  hour 
appointed,  the  multitudes  crowded  to  the  altar 
where  we  knelt,  one  priest  blessing  the  scapulars 
with  holy  water,  and  another  putting  them  on  our 


111 


i  '•■.. 


It 


,M.., 


^^■1l 

I 

1 

^1 ' 

On 

■  '■; 

1 

TT 


I  if  u 


i: 


1 

||:.: 

1 

1 

1 

i 

■ .  i 

11 


1 66 


Spiritual   Struggles. 


necks,  amid  chantings  of  hymns  to  the  Virgin 
Mary,  who  was  believed  to  have  vouchsafed  to 
her  children  so  distinguished  a  mark  of  her  love 
and  power.  A  prayer  was  also  offered  in  which 
we  promised  to  take  the  Virgin  for  our  Patroness, 
our  Advocate,  and  our  Mother,  pledged  ourselves  to 
be  her  children  and  perpetual  servants,  and  ended 
in  saying  to  her,  '  Grant,  by  thy  powerful  interces- 
sion, that  I  may  have  a  perfect  zeal  for  thy  honor, 
and  that  this  holy  scapular,  which  I  desire  to 
carry  during  my  whole  life  as  a  witness  of  my 
dedication  to  thee,  may  be  the  means  of  preserv- 
ing  me  from  the  dangers  of  eternal  death,  and 
conducting  me  in  safety  to  everlasting  bliss. 
Amen."'* 

"  O,  what  doubly  compounded  idolatry  !  "  cried 
Aunt  Melie.  "  And  was  there  no  fear  of  quackery 
in  your  mind  .'*  A  quack,  you  know,  always  pro- 
fesses either  to  cure  all  kinds  of  diseases  with  one 
medicine,  or  to  cure  any  specific  disease  with  a 
great  variety  of  medicines.  Now,  the  Gospel,  as 
I  understand  it,  recognizes  but  one  great  disease 
in  humanity,  namely,  sin.  It  proposes  but  one 
remedy,  and  that  one  specific  and  sovereign, 
namely,  the  blood  of  Jesus  Christ.  But  according 
to  the  facts  you  have  stated — and  I  cannot  think 

*  "  Way  to  Heaven,"  p.  391. 


' 


Great  Struggles  and  False  Refuges.     167 

1  have  forgotten  one  of  them — you  were  made  to 
depend  for  the  pardon  of  sin  and  salvation  upon 
a  great  variety  of  things,  I  may  not  be  able  to 
give  the  doses  in  their  proper  or'''.;r,  but  here 
is  the  general  prescription:  i.  Baptism;  2.  Sac- 
rament of  penance,  or  confession  to  a  priest ; 
3.  Penances  performed  by  yourself;  4.  Commun- 
ion;  5.  Confirmation;  6,  Extreme  unction;  7.  Ho- 
ly water;  8.  Holy  chrism;  9.  Palm  branches; 
10.  Crucifixes;  11.  Way-side  crosses;  12.  Images; 
13.  The  Virgin  Mary;  14.  Other  saints;  15.  An- 
gels; 16.  Relics;  17.  Medals;  18,  Agnus  Dei j 
19.  Scapulars;  20.  Rosary  chaplets ;  21.  Pilgrim- 
ages; 22.  Masses;  23.  Indulgences;  24.  Purga- 
tory !  If  this  be  not  a  perfect  specimen  of  relig- 
ious quackery,  pray  tell  me  what  is  ?  " 

"  I  assure  you  that  I  did  not  then  see  it  in  that 
light.  I  was  taught  to  regard  this  great  variety 
of  expedients  as  an  evidence  of  the  unlimited 
bounty  of  the  Church,  showing  her  inventive 
genius  and  marvelous  power." 

"  But  could  you  not  see  that,  if  any  one  of  these 
two  dozen  things  had  been  a  truly  divine,  and 
hence  all-sufficient  remedy,  no  other  would  have 
been  sought  after?  No  one  Vould  be  so  foolish 
as  to  call  a  second  physician,  if  the  first  were  all- 
wise  and  all-powerful  to  relieve  !  " 


i;" 


11 


.!??■;! 


m 


niu 


— ■      ■      wvt    


'Hi 

i  < 


m 


\ : 


1 68 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


**  O,  I  did  not  stop  to  reason  mich  upon  the 
subject,  for  the  Church  told  me  not  to  do  so.  I 
was  only  perplexed  to  know  which  expedient  was 
most  salutary;  and  I  hoped  that  in  the  great 
multitude  of  them,  some  one,  or  the  joint  influ- 
ence of  them  all,  would,  perhaps,  somehow  and 
so?newhere,  prove  satisfactory. 

"  But  I  had  a  wonderful  confidence  in  my  scap- 
ular. I  never,  for  a  single  moment,  removed  it 
from  my  body  for  fear  of  dying  without  it.  When 
the  first  became  old,  and  the  strings  began  to  give 
Way,  I  had  another  made,  but  the  new  was  put  on 
before  the  old  was  displaced.  I  then  actually  be- 
lieved my  scapular  saved  my  life  on  several  occa- 
sions, once  from  the  kick  of  a  horse,  which  just 
grazed  my  face,  and  once  from  the  fall  of  a  tree, 
which  barely  missed  my  head." 

"  How  much  hive  my  own,  thus  far,  your  expe- 
rience has  been,"  interrupted  Monsieur  G. ;  "but 
how  did  you  feel  at  last  ?  " 

"  Wretchedly  unhappy.  For  with  all  my  helps 
in  priests  and  prayers,  I  was  stiil  conscious  of  dark 
depravity  within.  I  loathed  myself,  and  found  no 
rect  for  my  soul.  I  was  like  one  pursuing  a 
splendid  mirage  or  phantom.  I  was  only  repeat- 
ing my  childhood  sports,  though  sadly,  when  for 
hours  of  sunshine  through   the  meadows  I  chased 


lL 


Great  Struggles  and  Fait  Refuges.     169 

the  gaudy  butterfly,  or  at  even-tide  the  star-like 
fire-fly,  without  catching  them ;  or  by  moonlight 
endeavored  to  overleap  my  own  shadow,  which, 
with  equal  pace,  fled  as  I  advanced.  It  was  the 
old  story  of  Tantalus,  whom  Ulysses  is  fabled  to 
have  seen  in  the  lower  world,  standing  up  to  his 
chin  in  water,  which  constantly  eluded  his  lip  as 
often  as  he  attempted  to  quench  the  thirst  that 
tormented  him.  Over  his  head  grew  all  kinds  of 
fruits ;  but  whenever  he  reached  forth  his  hands 
to  pluck  them,  the  wind  scattered  them  to  the 
clouds.  I  think  that  Isaiah  has  most  graphically 
described  my  state.  He  says :  '  It  shall  even  be 
as  when  a  hungry  man  dreameth,  and,  behold,  he 
eateth  ;  but  he  awaketh,  and  his  soul  is  empty ;  or 
as  when  a  thirsty  man  dreameth,  and,  behold,  he 
drinketh  ;  but  he  awaketh,  and,  behold,  he  is  faint.' 
"  I  looked  upon  the  singing  birds  and  the  graz- 
ing cattle  with  envy.  O  !  why  had  I  power  to 
know  right  an;]  wrong,  when  I  had  not  power  to 
follow  the  former  nor  to  overcome  the  latter.? 
Why  had  I  a  conscience  to  scourge  me  as  with 
scorpions }     I  could  have  cried, 


^ 


"  '  O  that  I  had  been  formed 
An  idiot  from  the  birth  !  a  sensele?-.  cha-.t^eling, 
Who  eats  his  glutton^'  meals  with  greedy  haste, 
Nor  knows  the  hand  which  feeds  him  ! ' 


\  .  h 


W   'ff  1 


'-{■.:.^i 


j;i 


"'■it   ' 


i 

■  i 

' 

i  '■. 

^  1 

hI 
t  ft* 

i      1 

r-n 


!1  n 


pi 

1  ^ 

p 

fl 

Ml 

Wi  ■ 

Ml' 

1 

I  ^ 


170 


Spiritual   Struggles. 


i  would  have  gladly  exchanged  existence  even 
with  a  loathsome,  crawling  viper.  I  could  never 
account  for  such  a  dreadful  thought ;  it  must  have 
been  purely  Satanic.  Life  was  to  me  a  bitter 
thing,  and  death  I  looked  upon  with  shrinking 
horror.  In  my  deep  distress  I  cursed  the  day  that 
gave  me  being,  and  wished  that  I  had  died  in  my 
childhood.  Terrible  as  is  the  desire,  I  prayed  for 
annihilation  !  I  arraigned  the  God  of  heaven,  and 
came  near  cursing  my  Maker.  These  struggles 
continued  for  several  years.  Certain  passages  in  the 
penitential  psalms  perfectly  expressed  my  state  : — 

"'I  am  weary  with  my  groaning;  all  the  night 
make  I  my  bed  to  swim ;  I  water  my  couch  with 
my  tcctrs.  For  mine  iniquities  are  gone  over  mine 
head :  as  a  heavy  burden  they  are  too  heavy  for 
me.  For  my  days  are  consumed  like  smoke,  and 
my  bones  are  burned  as  a  hearth.  My  heart  is 
smitten,  and  withered  like  grass ;  so  that  I  forget 
to  eat  my  bread.  By  reason  of  the  voice  of  my 
groaning  ray  bones  cleave  to  my  skin.  I  am  like 
a  pelican  of  the  wilderness :  I  am  like  an  owl  of 
the  desert.  I  watch,  and  am  as  a  sparrow  alone 
upon  the  housetop.'" 

With  this  sad  portraiture  of  my  state  before  us  we 
were  compelled  to  close  our  interview,  for  swift- 
winged  Time  announced  the  call  to  other  duties. 


Providential  Means  of  Relief.  171 


m 


IX. 

PROVIDENTIAL   MEANS  OF  RELIEF 

HOME,  ETC. 


LEAVING 


I  will  bring  the  blind  by  a  way  that  they  knew  not ;  I  will 
lead  them  in  paths  they  have  not  known  :  I  will  make  dark- 
ness light  before  them,  and  crooked  things  straight. — Isaiak. 

MANY  moments  of  the  week  which  followed 
our  last  conversation  were  spent  in  study- 
ing the  interesting  cartoons  in  "  Harper's  Weekly," 
with  which  the  children,  and  especially  Nora,  who 
was  personally  acquainted  with  some  of  the  parties 
represented,  were  perfectly  delighted.  By  plac- 
ing several  successive  numbers  of  this  brilliant 
periodical  on  a  long  table,  side  by  side,  we  could 
readily  trace  the  history  of  the  revelations  of  the 
most  astounding  official  corruption  of  modern 
times,  accompanied  with  priestly  interference 
with  our  system  of  common  schools,  and  inter- 
meddling with  politics.  These  papers  greatly 
increased  the  interest  in  my  story,  while  they 
revived  memories  of  events  and  principles  already 
explained. 

On  assembling  this  time  we  missed  our  friend, 
Monsieur  G, ;  but  the  Professor  was  promptly  on 


n 


it'' . 


.11 


it\i 


\ 


172 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


hand — indeed,  he  had  accompanied  us  from  the 
Sunday-school.  Luella  had  not  forgotten  the 
gloomy  description  of  my  state  of  mind,  given  last 
Sabbath,  and  as  soon  as  possible  she  said  : — 

"  Now,  father,  pray  tell  us  in  what  way  you  were 
ever  led  to  abandon  the  views  you  formerly  enter- 
tained, and  how  you  came  in  possession  of  the 
cheerful,  spiritual  frame  of  mind  in  which  I  have 
always  known  you  to  be." 

"  It  affords  me  great  pleasure,  I  assure  you,  to  be 
able  to  turn  from  that  shady  side  of  my  life  to  one 
more  sunny ;  from  that  midnight  gloom  to  the 
bright,  glowing  day.  But  the  story  is  not  a  very 
brief  one." 

"  Never  mind  the  length,"  almost  shouted  John- 
nie, "  so  long  as  it  is  good.  When  we  little  folks 
begin  to  get  weary  it  will  probably  be  time  to 
stop;  but  I  hope  not  before." 

"  With  this  assurance  on  your  part  I  will  pro- 
ceed. But  I  wish  to  preface  my  narrative  by  say- 
ing, that  the  leadings  of  Providence  are  often  very 
mysterious  and  surprising.     Cowper  wrote  : — 

"  '  God  moves  in  a  mysterious  way, 
His  wonders  to  perform.' 

In  view  of  this  great  truth  Jeremiah  exclaims,  *  O 
Lord,  I  know  that  the  way  of  man  is  not  in  him- 
self; it  is  not  in  man  that  walketh  to  direct  his 


Providential  Means  of  Relief.  173 


steps.*  The  history  of  Abraham,  the  father  and 
type  of  true  behevers,  beautifully  exemplifies  the 
same  truth.  God's  hand  may  be  seen  also  in  all 
the  wanderings  of  the  Hebrew  people.  We  see 
it  especially  in  the  history  of  Saul  of  Tarsus,  after- 
ward the  apostle  Paul.  How  little  did  he  know, 
when  he  left  Jerusalem  with  letters  from  the  chief 
priests,  authorizing  him  to  destroy,  by  every  means 
possible,  the  newly-rising  sect  of  Nazarenes,  that 
in  a  few  days  he  would  be  preaching  the  faith  he 
was  then  so  zealously  endeavoring  to  overthrow ; 
consorting  with  the  very  people  against  whom  he 
was  breathing  out  threatening  and  slaughter ; 
building  up  the  Church  of  which  he  was  making 
so  fearful  havoc,  and  suffering  persecution  at  the 
hands  of  his  nation  and  family !  God  led  him  in 
a  way  he  knew  not,  and  took  the  scales  of  error 
from  his  eyes.  In  after  years  he  wrote  to  Timothy 
concerning  himself  in  these  humiliating  terms  : 
'Who  was  before  a  blasphemer,  and  a  persecutor, 
and  injurious;  but  I  obtained  mercy  because  I 
did  it  ignorantly  in  unbelief.'  In  more  respects 
than  one  the  same  statement  is  true  of  myself." 

**  Was  your  conversion  indeed  like  St.  Paul's.''  " 
inquired  Luella. 

"  In  many  regards  the  conversion  of  every  Chris- 
tian resembles  his,  and  it  was  particularly  so  with 


7-v 


h      ''   i|T':|«»iff 


mmmm 


'im\-^: 


174 


Sri  RITUAL   Struggles. 


^'  i. 


J' 

Ill- 


1  I  8f 

Wm 

;  'f:      ■ 

HI 

8 

; 

Ik 

1   iji    i  ; 

^fv 

r      "    ■ 

i        ?! 

'  '11 

\   'g; 

n 

i 

f 

'fff  t 

t-i       -■ 

^  ; 

mine,  as  you  will  see  at  the  proper  time  in  my 
narrative.  But  now  I  want  to  tell  you  of  the 
providential  means  that  led  to  so  important  an 
event.  Leaving  home  is  the  first  thing  I  will 
mention.  Sad  as  I  felt  at  the  time,  this  was,  nev- 
ertheless, a  God-send,  I  am  sure. 

"  On  March  3,  1848,  my  father  died.  As  he  left 
no  property  for  the  children  to  trust  in  or  to  quar- 
rel over,  each  one  had  to  go  forth  and  '  paddle  his 
own  canoe.'  My  father's  death  occurred  in  a  wild 
region  called  New  Hague,  on  the  southern  border 
of  the  town  of  Ticonderoga,  about  two  miles  from 
Lake  George.  An  older  brother  had  purchased  a 
farm  there,  and,  with  hired  men,  set  to  work  to 
clear  the  land  and  bring  it  into  cultivation.  As  1 
was  a  stout  boy  for  one  of  my  age,  I  was  also  hired 
with  other  brothers.  At  this  hard  work  I  spent 
more  than  a  year.  But  while  tiie  land  was  being 
cleared  and  cultivated,  my  heart  and  mind  were 
not  only  neglected,  but  brought  under  the  grossest 
influences.  The  morals  of  the  place  were  utterly 
wretched.  There  was  neither  school-house  nor 
church  for  several  miles.  The  region  was  a  rc/i- 
deziwus  of  second-rate  lumbermen,  worn  out  *  ca- 
nallers,'  and  runaways  from  justice,  with  very  few 
exceptions.  Dancing  and  drinking,  with  all  man- 
ner of  vulgarities  and  obscenities,  were  the  order 


Providential  Means  of  Relief.  175 

of  the  day.  The  Sabbaths  were  occasions  of  the 
most  rampant  wickedness;  except  once  in  four 
weeks,  when  the  whole  neighborhood  disgorged 
the  majority  of  its  popidation,  who  went  several 
miles  to  the  Catholic  church  in  Ticonderoga.  It 
was  during  this  period  that  I  passed  through  some 
of  the  most  fearful  experiences  of  my  life.  Most 
corrupt  practices  were  there  taught  me,  and  yet  at 
times  I  struggled,  though  in  vain,  to  shake  off  the 
monster  that  was  devouring  my  very  vitals. 

"In  the  autumn  of  1849,  through  a  little  mis- 
understanding, I  was  drawn  into  a  sharp  encounter 
of  words  with  my  brother,  for  whom  I  was  work- 
ing. This  led  to  our  separation,  and'  to  my  leav- 
ing home.  Too  late  he  repented,  and  confessed 
his  undeserved  rebuke  of  me,  and  strove  to  retain 
'me ;  but  I  was  determined,  and  would  not  stay. 
You  have  read  of  Benjamin  Franklin,  whom  diffi- 
culties with  a  brother  sent  out  into  the  world,  and 
who  went  to  Philadelphia,  with  three  rolls  of  bread 
under  his  arm,  and  his  pockets  stufted  with  stock- 
ings and  shirts — these  being  all  the  estate  he  pos- 
sessed. Well,  it  was  something  such  an  appear- 
ance I  presented  as  I  took  my  little  bundles  and 
started  out  to  seek  my  fortune.  My  mother 
piously  commended  me  to  the  Virgin  Mary,  and 
told  me  not  to  forget  my  Church  nor  my  scapular. 


n 


N 


.4 

m 


■:!!';  '■A 


11:,  -n 


ill!  ■"  \  ■■■ 


\i' 


ff 


)!'■' 

:|-., 


f-wmfma 


'A 


*1i 


't 


U 


m 


r< 


It 


V. 


mv^ 


176 


Spiritual   Stru(3gles. 


I  embraced  her,  shedding  tears  which  I  endeav« 
ored  in  vain  to  restrain,  and  left." 

"  But  why  did  you  cry  so  ?  "  inquired  Johnnie, 
almost  sobbing  as  he  said  it. 

"  O,  I  can  scarcely  tell  you  why.  But  the  world 
looked  so  cold  and  wide,  and  I  was  going  forth 
into  it  penniless,  friendless,  a  wretched,  ignorant 
boy.  Then,  too,  I  had  so  strong  an  attachment 
to  my  friends,  and  especially  to  my  dear  mother, 
that  this  separation  nearly  broke  my  heart.  I 
moved  away  from  the  house  with  slow,  measured 
steps,  and  as  I  went  over  the  first  knoll,  whence  I 
could  take  a  last  look  of  home,  I  turned  and  saw  my 
mother  still  standing  at  the  door  with  her  apron 
to  her  face.  Had  it  not  been  for  what  seemed 
the  leadings  of  an  invisible  hand,  which  some,  I 
suppose,  would  call  the  hand  of  Destiny,  I  could 
not  have  gone  farther.  But  the  die  was  cast ;  the 
Rubicon  was  crossed ;  so  I  resumed  my  journey. 
I  had  a  brother  living  in  a  place  called  Cream 
Hill — a  name  of  good  omen — in  the  town  of 
Shoreham,  Addison  County,  Vermont.  Thither  I 
bent  my  steps.  After  spending  a  weary  and  al- 
most sleepless  night  with  my  brother,  I  found  a 
good  place  with  a  neighboring  farmer  named 
Perry,  who  needed  just  such  help  as  I  could 
render. 


I 


01 


Providential  Means  of  Relief.  177 

*'  My  mother  had  carefully  taught  me  how  to 
mend  my  clothes  and  darn  my  stockings,  and  I 
now  found  a  good  opportunity  to  practice  what  I 
had  learned.  She  had  also  urged  me  to  go  to 
school,  if  I  could  possibly  find  a  suitable  place. 
It  had  been  her  misfortune  as  well  as  my  father's 
to  be  without  education.  Hence  their  mark 
(x)  instead  of  their  name  may  be  found  in 
several  documents.  To  gratify  her  as  well 
as  myself  I  sought  a  place  with  diligence,  and 
succeeded. 

"  This  leads  me  to  speak  of  another  powerful 
means  which  God  made  use  of  in  bringing  about 
my  conversion,  namely,  education.  Having  labored 
for  Mr.  Perry  until  his  fall  work  was  finished,  I 
went  to  a  Mr.  Rich,  who  resided  near  the  school- 
house,  agreeing  to  do  'chores,'  which  consisted 
mostly  of  feeding  five  or  six  hundred  sheep,  and 
some  cattle,  for  which  labor  I  was  to  be  boarded. 
As  his  daughter  was  the  school  teacher  and 
boarded  at  home,  I  was  to  receive  her  assistance 
in  my  lessons,  especially  evenings,  an  arrangement 
which  proved  highly  beneficial. 

*'  I  was  then  sixteen  years  ola,  large  of  my  age, 

and  yet  I  could   scarcely  read  or  write,  and  was 

ignorant  of  the  elementary  rules  or  principles  of 

arithmetic.     I  was  not  a  little  ashamed  of  myself 
12 


li 


'f 


!    f 


I] 


I 


■f^' 


;l 


I  ! 


■  rl 

■  ■  :-t     -  .If?" 

ii  \  % 

%■  i 

.11 

I'  I. 


iS-l 


,  :il 


.    '        ■         ; 

.       ■ 

1    .:, 

(     ■ 

■■  J  : 

17' 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


1  i. 


as  I  appeared  among  my  fellow-pupils,  most  of 
whom  were  much  younger  than  I  in  years,  and 
yet  several  years  my  sui)eriors  in  knowledge.  My 
French  pride  was  terribly  wounded,  but  it  seemed 
to  urge  me  on  in  my  efforts,  and  I  began  to  apply 
myself  night  and  day.  I  soon  became  so  absorbed 
in  my  books  that  I  could  think  of  little  else 
Sometimes  I  was  even  forgetful  of  my  work.  But 
Mr.  Rich  would  kindly  excuse  me  by  saying,  '  I 
know  what's  the  matter  with  you  :  your  studies 
fill  your  entire  mind.'  It  was  no  uncommon  thing 
for  me  to  solve  some  of  the  most  difficult  problems 
of  my  arithmetic  in  my  dreams.  I  often  studied 
during  recesses  when  others  were  at  play.  In 
fact,  I  p-udied  every-where  and  all  the  time.  It 
seemed  as  if  every  power  of  my  intellect — and  I 
had  reached  a  period  of  life  when  the  mind  is 
peculiarly  active — was  focalized  upon  improve- 
ment. This  was  the  charmed  circle  around  which 
all  my  thoughts  revolved,  and  within  which  they 
were  centered.  As  even  a  few  solar  rays,  caught 
by  a  convex  lens,  converge  to  a  burning  point,  so 
this  harmony  and  unity  of  my  mental  powers  pro- 
duced an  intense  eagerness  for  knowledge,  sup- 
plied me  with  light  as  I  advanced,  and  dispelled 
or  dissolved  the  difficulties  that  obstructed  my 
way.     I  have  learned   that   it    is   application  and 


they 

LUght 

|nt,  so 

pro- 

sup- 

)elled 

|d  my 

m  and 


Providential  Means  of  Relief.  179 

enthusiasm,  more  than  great  opportunities  or  tal- 
ents, that  accomplish  any  work." 

"  This  is  the  key  of  success,"  said  the  Profess- 
or. "  But,  pray,  give  us  the  particulars  of  your 
achievements." 

"  My  progress  astonished  both  myself  and  others. 
In  three  months'  time  I  had  gone  through  what 
was  called  'Adams's  New  Arithmetic,'  so  that 
there  was  not  a  problem  in  it  I  could  not  solve, 
and  scarcely  a  principle  I  could  not  explain. 
Then,  for  the  first  time,  I  took  up  grammar  and 
philosophy,  finding  in  both  the  keenest  enjoyment. 
This  unlooked-for  success  changed  the  whole  tenor 
of  my  life.  Friends  began  to  advise  me  to  pursue 
a  regular  course  of  study.  My  mother,  wonder- 
fully gratified  at  my  success,  urged  me  to  press  on 
in  this  direction.  There  was  one  notable  obstacle 
in  my  path,  however.  I  was  entirely  destitute  of 
means,  and  too  proud  to  ask  my  friends  for  help. 
But  I  had  a  vigorous  frame,  and  was  not  afraid  nor 
ashamed  to  work ;  and  I  saw  how  my  hands  and 
feet  might  be  ma^le  to  contribute  to  my  brain.  So 
when  the  winter  term  closed  I  engaged  to  work 
again  for  Mr.  Perry,  and  the  proceeds  of  my  sum- 
mer's work  were  sufficient  to  enable  me  to  attend 
most  of  the  fall  term  at  Newton  Academy,  in  the 
village  of  Shoreham.     At  the  close  of  the  term  I 


r! 

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received  from  the  principal,  Mr.  Asa  S.  Jones,  a 
very  gratifying  recommendation  for  the  position 
of  district  school  teacher. 

"  I  then  presented  myself  to  the  school  super- 
intendent of  the  town  of  Ticonderoga,  and,  after 
a  rigid  examination,  received  a  legal  certificate 
which  bears  date  November  12,  1850.  But  it  was 
too  late  in  the  season ;  I  found  that  the  schools 
were  either  commenced  or  had  their  teachers  en- 
gaged. However,  as  I  was  only  seventeen  years 
of  age,  and  perhaps  too  young  to  have  succeeded 
in  teaching,  I  considered  that  it  was  all  for  the 
best  that  I  failed  in  my  efforts,  and  so  returned 
to  Cream  Hill  to  attend  the  district  school,  as  I 
did  the  winter  before.  The  next  spring  my  brother, 
who  had  been  the  cause  of  my  leaving  home,  urged 
me  so  strongly  to  return  and  work  for  him  that 
I  consented,  and  spent  the  summer  laboring  at 
house-carpentry. 

"In  the  autumn  of  185 1  I  secured  a  school  in 
the  town  of  Hague,  Warren  County,  N.  Y.,  where 
I  succeeded  so  well  that,  after  teaching  three 
months,  I  was  re-engaged  for  a  fourth.  Then,  tak- 
ing my  newly-earned  money,  I  hastened  to  Hen- 
ryville,  C.  E.,  where,  for  the  sake  of  perfecting 
myself  in  my  vernacular,  I  spent  most  of  the  sea- 
son in  a  French  school.     While  there,  I  was  more 


Providential  Means  of  Relief,  i8i 


deeply  impressed  than  ever  with  the  contrast 
between  Protestant  and  Catholic  morality.  I 
lamented  to  find  it  so,  and  was  anxious  to  discover 
some  power  that  could  put  a  stop  to  the  violations 
of  the  Sabbath ;  and  I  yearned  to  be  able  to  do 
something  myself  for  the  moral  elevation  of  my 
fellow-religionists.  I  sometimes  wept  over  the 
moral  desolation  that  prevailed.  But  in  private 
conversation  with  intimate  friends,  especially  with 
my  eldest  sister,  in  whose  family  I  boarded,  I 
found  that  the  state  of  things  was  quite  comfort- 
ably acquiesced  in,  because  tolerated  by  the 
Church  authorities,  or,  at  least,  tacitly  sanctioned. 
Notwithstanding  my  perplexities  with  regard  to 
such  licensed  irregularities,  I  went  to  confession  to 
the  priest.  Rev.  Mr.  St.  Aubain,  and  partook  of 
the  holy  communion.  By  him,  and  by  means  of' 
certain  books  put  into  my  hands,  I  was  taught  to 
feel  that  all  my  troubles  on  this  score  were  temp- 
tations of  Satan ;  that  the  delinquencies  of  Church- 
members  were  no  argument  against  the  purity  of 
the  Church,  and  that  somehow  the  Church,  by 
means  of  her  indulgences  and  spiritual  author- 
ity, could  remove  these  blotches.  So  instead  of 
losing  confidence  in  the  Roman  Catholic  Church, 
I  was  forced  into  a  greater  admiration  of  an  in- 
stitution that  could  accomplish  so  great  a  thing. 


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Spiritual  Struggles. 


ii 


*'  Strongly  confirmed  in  these  views,  I  returned 
to  the  States,  and  continued  to  prosecute  my  edu- 
cation, teaching  winters,  and  attending  school 
summers,  except  that  through  haying  and  harvest 
time  I  generally  felt  compelled  to  labor  with  my 
hands,  for  the  sake  of  the  increased  wages.  After 
being  in  school,  either  as  a  teacher  or  pupil,  for 
about  nine  months  in  succession,  my  hands  were 
tender  and  my  frame  relaxed,  so  that  the  result  of 
the  first  few  days  of  toil  was  worse  than  I  can  de- 
scribe. I  have  had  these  hands  so  completely 
blistered,  and  my  body  so  over-strained,  that  I 
have  found  myself  in  the  morning  so  stiffened  and 
sore  as  scarcely  to  be  able  to  move,  or  to  handle 
a  tool.  But  the  ultimate  object  stimulated  me, 
and  I  endured  *  hardness  as  r  good  soldier.'  I  know 
what  hard  work  is,  and,  wdien  inured  to  it,  I  loved 
it  for  its  own  sake.  But  sometimes  I  murmured 
at  my  lot,  and  envied  those  fellow-students  whose 
parents  gave  them  money  to  supply  all  their  wants, 
while  I  was  compelled  to  deny  myself  fine  clothes, 
many  needed  books,  and  all  delicacies.  But  it 
was  all  right.  I  can  see  it  now.  I  needed  the  dis- 
cipline. It  threw  me  upon  my  own  resources,  and 
gave  me  a  better  appreciation  of  what  I  gained. 
I  dearly  learned,  that  self-denial  leads  to  self-con- 
trol, and  that  these  make  self-reliance  possible. 


I\oiidcntial  Means  of  RclicJ. 


i8 


"  In  the  autumn  of  1852  I  began  to  write  a  diary 
or  journal,  which  I  have  ever  since  continued." 

"  Do  you  mean  this  pile  of  books  on  the  shelf?  " 
asked  Johnnie ;  and  so  speaking,  he  took  out  the 
seventeen  volumes  which  are  written,  being  about 
all  he  could  lift.  "  And  are  all  these  books  writ- 
ten through  ?  "  he  continued.  "  I  would  like  to 
know  how  many  pages  there  are.''  "  The  number 
of  pages  in  each  book  was  penciled  down  by 
Luella  as  he  called  them  off,  which,  with  the 
volume  I  am  now  writing,  amounted  to  nearly  four 
thousand  pages. 

"  It  is  not  the  number  of  pages  I  care  much 
about,  children,  but  it  is  the  improvement  I  made 
in  writing  them.  These  pages,  with  the  composi- 
tions or  themes  I  used  to  write  almost  weekly, 
greatly  stimulated  my  thinking  powers." 

"I  am  sure,"  added  the  Professor,  "that  the 
practice  of  writing  such  a  diary  not  only  preserves 
many  important  events  and  incidents  which  might 
otherwise  be  lost,  but  greatly  increases  the  power 
and  facility  with  which  a  writer  can  produce  nar- 
rative or  history.  It  also  teaches  how  to  think 
deliberately  and  correctly." 

"Thank  you,  Professor.  I  hope  your  remark 
may  stimulate  my  children  in  the  habit  of  journal- 
writing,"  I  replied. 


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184 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


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"About  the  time  I  commenced  this  practice, 
which,  as  you  may  see  in  volume  first,  was  Sep- 
tember II,  1852,  I  also  commenced  the  exercise 
of  speaking  extempore.  With  a  schoolmate  by 
the  name  of  Joseph  Cook,  of  Ticonderoga — who 
is  now  a  Congregational  minister — whose  portrait 
you  see  on  the  wall,  I  agreed  upon  the  following 
plan :  We  wrote  subjects  upon  small  pieces  of 
paper,  folded  them  and  put  them  into  a  hat. 
After  shaking  them  thoroughly,  we  took  turns  in 
drawing  out  a  slip,  and  in  speaking  off-hand  upon 
whatever  topic  was  written  in  it.  This  practice, 
persevered  in,  taught  us  to  think  rapidly  and  on 
our  feet.  Without  the  habit  of  close  study  and 
careful  writing,  however,  this  ability  would  have 
been  hurtful ;  but  now  it  proved  to  be  a  great  help. 
Such  was  the  improvement  we  obtained  in  this 
way,  that  we  organized  a  literary  society  which 
had  extemporaneous  speaking  as  its  chief  object, 
called  it  the*'  Keeseville  Cabal,*  and  gathered  into 
it  the  best  students  of  the  academy  we  were  at- 
tending, besides  several  young  men  of  the  village. 
The  attention  I  paid  to  the  study  of  the  Greek, 
Latin,  Spanish,  and  German  languages  also  aided 
me  to  a  better  understanding  of  the  English  and 
French  tongues,  and  served  to  discipline  my 
mind.     Some  of  these  studies  were  of  incalculable 


Providential  Means  of  Relief.  185 


importance  to  me  in  subsequent  investigations  of 
religious  truths." 

"  But  what  had  education  to  do  in  bringing  you 
to  Christ?"  asked  Aunt  Melie. 

"  Much  every  way.  It  gave  me  a  key  with  which 
to  unlock  the  difficult  problems  that  presented 
themselves  before  me,  while  it  intensified  my  desire 
to  know  the  truth  of  every  doctrine  commended 
to  my  faith  and  practice.  It  also  enlarged  and 
liberalized  my  views  of  religion,  of  men,  and  of 
things  in  general.  '  My  people  perish  for  want  of 
knowledge,'  said  God  by  the  mouth  of  an  ancient 
prophet,  and  current  history  confirms  such  a  state- 
ment. Education  is  a  mighty  power,  reminding 
one  of  the  mystic  lever  of  Archimedes,  who  is  re- 
ported to  have  said  to  King  Hiero,  *  Give  me  where 
I  may  stand,  and  I  will  move  the  world.'  Assume 
education  to  be  this  lever,  the  Bible  the  ful- 
crum, and  experimental  and  practical  Christian- 
ity the  hand  on  the  long  arm  of  the  lever,  and 
you  have  a  force  that  cannot  fail  to  lift  the  masses 
upward." 

"A  liberal  education,  free  from  all  sectarianism, 
I  am  convinced,  is  not  only  the  hope  of  Chris- 
tianity, but  also  of  all  republics,"  added  the 
Professor. 

**  I  know,"  I  said,  "  that  religion  without  cult- 


Vt 


1 86 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


ure  leads  to  bigotry.  Zeal  without  knowledge 
results  in  shameful  excesses.  Witness  all  religious 
wars  or  persecutions.  On  the  other  hand,  knowl- 
edge— I  will  not  say  education,  for  this  means 
the  harmonious  development  of  all  the  faculties — 
knowledge  without  religion  generally  leads  to  infi- 
delity. Much  learning,  without  God,  makes  men 
mad.  We  must  blend  the  two.  They  are  like  the 
wings  of  a  bird,  which  are  both  needed  for  its 
flight.  In  the  language  of  my  friend  Cook,  though 
applied  to  moral  suasion  and  legal  power  in  the 
temperance  work,  I  may  say  of  knowledge  and 
religion,  that  '  whenever  we  have  tried  to  move  on 
one  wing,  our  flight  has  been  a  sorry  spiral.  It  is 
not  claimed  that  either  wing  is  yet  fledged  to  the 
full.  But  there  is  now  historic  ground  to  hope 
that,  when  both  pinions  are  grown,  and  both  used 
in  equal  librations,  the  reform,  as  an  archangel 
flying  with  steady  vans  in  mid-heaven  above  the 
nations,  and  dispensing  blessings,  is  to  make  the 
circuit  of  the  globe.*  Therefore,  taking  the  word 
*  wisdom  *  for  true  religion,  and  '  understanding '  for 
general  education,  I  would  urge  these  striking 
scriptural  proverbs :  *  Wisdom  is  the  principal 
thing ;  therefore  get  wisdom :  and  with  all  thy 
getting  get  understanding.  Exalt  her,  and  she 
shall  promote  thee  :  she  shall  bring  thee  to  honor, 


Providential  Means  of  Relief.  187 

vvlien  thou  dost  embrace  her.  She  shall  give  to 
thine  head  an  ornament  of  grace :  a  crown 
of  glory  shall  she  deliver  to  thee.  Her  ways 
are  ways  of  pleasantness,  and  all  her  paths  are 
peace.'" 

With  these  golden  utterances  for  each  one  to 
remember,  our  interview  ended. 


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Spiritjal   Struggles. 


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X. 

PERPLEXITY  — PERSECUTION  — CHURCH-GOING. 

Ye  have  taken  away  my  gods  which  I  made,  and  the  priest, 
and  ye  are  gone  away :  and  what  have  I  more  ?  — Mica  A,  of 
Mount  Ephraim. 

THE  interest  in  our  interviews  was  becoming 
unaccountably  enthusiastic.  Indeed,  scarcely 
a  day  passed  that  something  in  relation  to  them 
was  not  said.  Nora,  by  her  recent  and  peculiar 
experience,  had  become  a  center  of  attraction,  and 
bade  fair  to  be  a  moving  spirit  among  us.  She 
was  constantly  receiving  very  severe  letters  from 
her  father,  who  threatened  to  disown  her  if  she 
did  not  leave  us,  and  cast  oif  '  those  Protestant 
heresies,*  as  he  expressed  himself.  Her  mother 
maintained  a  more  loving  yet  sorrowful  attitude. 
At  last  she  received  a  note  from  the  priest,  full  of 
warnings,  couched  in  such  singular  and  equivocal 
terms,  that  two  or  three  various  interpretations 
could  be  attached  to  them.  However,  it  was  plain 
to  see  that  the  priest  in  whose  parochial  limits  we 
resided  had  been  pretty  well  informed  of  Nora's 
whereabouts ;  and  it  was  quite  clearly  intimated 
that  if  she  did  not  leave  willingly,  forcible  meas- 


Perplexity  and  Persecution. 


189 


ures  might  be  instituted  for  that  purpose.  At 
first,  Nora  displayed  some  restlessness,  and  the 
fear  of  abduction  tormented  her.  She  had  re- 
cently read  Rev.  Hiram  Mattison's  brief  account 
of  the  kidnapping  of  Miss  Mary  Ann  Smith,  of 
Newark,  New  Jersey,  who,  for  renouncing  Roman- 
ism and  joining  the  Methodist  Episcopal  Church, 
and  for  no  other  cause,  was  forcibly  abducted  and 
incarcerated  in  the  House  of  the  Good  Shepherd, 
one  of  those  institutions  in  New  York  which  are 
suckled  at  the  breast  of  the  public  treasury.  On 
reading  the  book  she  doubted  its  truthfulness,  but 
now  successive  flashes  of  conviction  that  such 
treatment  was  possible,  even  for  herself,  made  her 
feel  uneasy.  For  some  time  her  mind  oscillated 
between  doubt  and  fear.  But  one  day  she  said  to 
me,  "  If  that's  the  way  they  expect  to  rule  me, 
they  will  find  themselves  mistaken.  What  kind 
of  religion  can  this  be  that  would  force  obedience 
to  its  commands.^  That  may  have  done  well 
enough  in  old  Ireland,  but  it  will  never  do  in  free 
America.  You  know  that  this  is  my  native  land, 
and  somehow,  within  the  past  few  weeks  particu- 
larly, it  seems  as  if  I  was  strangely  influenced  by 
its  free  air  and  free  institutions,  especially  when  I 
compare  our  privileges  with  the  condition  of  things 
in  the  old  country,  as  related  to  me  by  my  parents. 


^i 


III 


190 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


Now,  really,  I  can't  believe  that  they  mean  to  do 
as  is  intimated  in  this  letter.  It  must  be  it  means 
something  else."  And  thus  she  continued  talking 
about  the  matter,  endeavoring  to  believe  better 
things  of  her  mother's  Church.  But  that  she  had 
fears  was  evidenced  by  her  carrying  the  strange 
letter  constantly  in  her  pocket,  and  often  read- 
ing it. 

One  evening  as  she  was  returning  xiom  church 
with  Luella — for  she  had  become  greatly  inter- 
ested in  our  public  meetings  also — they  met  two 
nuns  or  "sisters,"  who  on  approaching  them  gave 
signs  of  desiring  to  speak  to  them;  but  as  they 
chanced  to  meet  in  a  strong  lamp-light,  and  near 
an  alley,  the  nuns  very  ingeniously  stepped  aside 
into  the  shade  of  the  corner  building,  and  invited 
the  girls  to  follow.  The  latter  were  not  a  little 
startled  at  first  on  seeing  the  two  white  b'^'^nets 
flopping  in  the  night  wind,  and  on  being  thus  ac- 
costed ;  but  as  it  was  early  in  the  night,  and  the 
nuns  appeared  very  pleasant,  they  obeyed.  On 
reaching  the  shaded  nook,  one  of  them  stepped 
up  to  Luella  and,  in  an  undertone,  inquired  if  she 
could  tell  her  where  the  Rev.  Mr.  Beaudry  resided, 
in  whose  family  lived  an  Irish  girl  by  the  name  of 

Nora  O'C .     Nora,  already  suspicious  of  the 

strangers,  on  hearing  her  name  thus  called  instantly 


Perplexity  and  Persecution. 


191 


caught  Luella  by  the  hand,  and  unceremoniously 
and  rapidly  they  both  hastened  home.  They  were 
so  overcome  with  fear,  and  so  nearly  breathless 
from  their  chase  when  they  arrived,  that  it  was 
some  time  before  they  could  recount  the  incident. 
Nora  was  so  excited  that  locking  and  bolting  the 
doors  and  windows  would  not  quiet  her,  and  I  was 
induced  to  go  out  and  engage  a  special  police  to 
watch  the  premises  through  the  night.  Under 
these  circumstances  it  was,  for  some  days,  difficult 
to  tell  what  the  poor  girl  would  do.  She  was  more 
or  less  nervous  da^  .id  night,  and  did  not  dare  on 
any  account  to  enter  the  streets  except  in  the  day- 
time, and  with  some  member  of  the  family.  I 
suggested  the  propriety  of  sending  her  to  my 
brother  Charles',  near  Lake  Champlain,  wliere,  for 
some  time,  at  least,  she  might  live  in  seclusion. 
But  she  averred  that  the  priest  knew  all  about  him 
also,  as  he  had  declared  to  her  in  her  last  con- 
fession, so  that  that  home  would  be  no  covert  from 
his  designs.  And  furthermore,  she  said  she  would 
regard  such  a  flight  as  little  less  than  downright 
cowardice. 

At  last  her  naturally  independent  Irish  charac- 
ter began  to  assert  its  power.  She  was  greatly  stim- 
ulated and  directed  by  the  evangelical  truths  which 
she  had  already  treasured  up,  and  soon,  with  a 


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192 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


spirit  resembling  that  of  Joan  of  Arc,  she  resolved 
to  brave  and  overcome  the  fiercest  dangers.  She 
asserted  that  this  "victorious  state  of  mind,"  as 
^he  called  it,  was  gained  while  engaged  in  prayer  to 
iier  blessed  Saviour;  and  she  meant  now,  if  neces- 
sary, to  lose  even  her  life  for  his  sake.  Her  hero- 
ism was  really  grand,  and  at  times  sublime,  par- 
taking much  of  natural,  though  more  of  moral, 
courage. 

In  our  first  interview  after  this  significant  event, 
when  our  whole  company  was  present,  Nora  elic- 
ited general  sympathy,  and  several  plans  were  sug- 
gested to  secrete  her  among  our  friends,  or  by 
some  means  to  make  at  least  her  liberty  of  person 
secure.  But  avowing  her  purpose  of  remaining 
with  us  and  of  trusting  God  for  the  result,  she 
finally  relieved  our  anxiety  by  saying  that  she  had 
recently  found  a  precious  passage  in  the  prophecy 
of  Isaiah,  which  she  quoted  as  follows :  "  No 
weapon  that  is  formed  against  thee  shall  prosper ; 
and  every  tongue  that  shall  rise  against  thee  in 
judgment  thou  shalt  condemn.  This  is  the  herit- 
age of  the  servants  of  the  Lord,  and  their  right- 
eousness is  of  me,  saith  the  Lord."  "And  then," 
she  added,  "  if  it  comes  to  the  worst,  Jesus  has 
said,  *  Fear  not  them  which  kill  the  body,  but  are 
not  able  to  kill  the  soul :  but  rather  fear  Him  which 


Perplexity  and  Persecution. 


193 


is  able  to  destroy  both  soul  and  body  in  hell.'     I'll 
risk  my  destiny,  then,  in  the  hands  of  Him  who  has 


all 


and  in  earth. 


power  m  neav 

Johnnie,  who  was  sitting  near  me,  whispered  in 
my  ear,  "  Don't  you  think,  father,  that  Nora  is  truly 
converted }  It  seems  almost  as  though  her  face 
was  shining  like  an  angel's." 

"  Let  us  have  no  privacies  here,"  I  whispered 
back ;  "  Nora  will  probably  tell  her  own  story  in 
due  time." 

"  Well,  father,"  he  spoke  aloud,  "  please  give  us 
more  of  your  own  experience  now,  for  I  am  sure 
we  are  all  anxious  to  hear  it." 

As  nothing  else  was  suggested,  I  began  :  "  An- 
other important  event  in  shaping  my  destiny  oc- 
curred in  the  autumn  of  1852.  During  the  early 
part  of  September,  through  what  I  now  consider 
to  have  been  purely  providential  leadings,  I  went 
from  Ticonderoga,  with  Joseph  Cook,  to  Keese- 
ville,  in  the  northern  part  of  the  State,  to  at- 
tend an  academy,  allusion  to  which  has  already 
been  made.  We  arranged  to  board  and  room 
together.  He  was  not  then  a  member  of  any 
Church,  but  was  strictly  moral  and  even  religious, 
and  well  versed  in  the  knowledge  of  the  Bible. 
On  our  first  Sabbath  morning  in  the  place  he  said 

to  me,  *  Will  you  go  with  me  to  the  Presbyterian 
13 


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i 

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^ 

194 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


Church  this  morning  ? '  I  hesitated  a  moment 
and  then  replied,  '  Yes,  if  yoit  will  go  to  the  Cath- 
olic Church  with  me  this  afternoon.'  '  Certainly,' 
he  unhesitatingly  answered,  showing  no  prejudice 
against  it.  I  was  not  a  little  perplexed  at  my 
dilemma,  for  I  had  a  holy — rather  an  unholy — 
dread  of  going  into  a  Protestant  church,  looking 
upon  it  as  the  sure  way  to  perdition.  My  early 
teaching  on  the  subject  came  up  forcibly  to  my 
mind.  But  hoping  that  the  harm  I  might  incur 
would  be  more  than  counterbalanced  by  the  good 
he  might  receive  by  going  with  me — for  I  greatly 
desired  to  convert  him  to  my  faith — I  finally  rati- 
fied my  engagement  and  prepared  to  go  with  him. 
"  At  the  ringing  of  the  bell  from  the  old  stone 
tower  by  the  bridge  we  started.  But  if  the  air 
along  the  street  had  been  filled  with  voices  whis- 
pering or  crying,  '  Dor 't  go  !  don't  go  !  '  I  could 
not  have  been  more  influenced.  It  scemed  as  if 
my  mother  was  looking  at  me,  and  pleading  to  stay 
my  steps.  When  I  had  entered  the  vestibule  of 
the  church  I  shuddered,  and  would  have  turned 
back  had  it  not  been  that,  like  Orpheus,  who  ven- 
tured to  descend  into  Hades  to  deliver  his  wife, 
Eurydice,  I  had  hopes  of  saving  my  friend.  But 
soon  the  old  gray-haired  sexton  approached  us, 
with   such  a  sweet  smile  and  words  so  kind  that 


Perplexity  and  Persecution. 


195 


I  began  to  feel  better,  and  he  led  us  to  a  comfort- 
able seat.     Kindness  is  a  powerful  educator. 

*'  This  was  an  occasion  never  to  be  forgotten. 
The  pastor's  name  was  John  Mattocks,  now  of 
St.  Paul,  Minnesota.  The  pure  simplicity  of  the 
place  and  of  the  worship  made  a  lasting  impres- 
sion upon  my  mind.  All  the  praying,  preaching, 
and  singing  were  in  a  language  I  perfectly  under- 
stood, and  over  all  and  through  all  there  was  a 
fervent,  loving  spirit  which  quite  captivated  me. 
It  seemed  as  if  the  nobler  sentiments  and  powers 
of  my  heart  and  mind  were  drawn  out  and  exer- 
cised as  I  had  never  known  them  to  be.  I  felt  a 
deeper  love  to  God  and  his  creatures.  My  relig- 
ious nature  was  fed  and  refreshed.  I  regarded 
the  event  as  it  seems  to  me  a  traveler  must  regard 
an  oasis  in  the  desert,  where  he  slakes  his  thirst 
from  pure,  bubbling  springs,  and  rests  his  weary 
frame  under  a  lofty  palm  which  supplies  him  both 
food  and  shelter.  And  yet  withal  I  was  perplexed. 
How  could  these  feelings  be  reliable  when  such 
meetings  had  been  represented  to  me  by  all  my 
teachers  as  '  only  evil  continually } '  Were  my 
emotions  the  legitimate  result  of  what  I  saw  and 
heard,  or  was  I  deceived .?  Of  one  thing  I  felt 
quite  sure,  that  these  meetings  had  been  misrep- 
resented, whether  willfully  or  ignorantly  I  could 


In 

■-■  1'  1R>I 


m 


■  d'- 


Mi 

lilt:'  >'''8 


•' '  *  H 


1 


s.'i. 


i 


^^n^ 


iim  .1 


.A. 


■'I 


'W 


mm 


!'    I 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


not  tell.  I  was  certainly  none  the  worse  for  hav- 
ing been  there.  It  could  not  be  a  sin,  much  less 
a  sacrilege  or  a  crime,  as  Rev.  Dr.  Challoner  says, 
to  attend  such  meetings.  Then  I  had  been  mis- 
taught  upon  this  subject.  Might  not  the  same 
thing  be  true  of  other  subjects  ?  One  thought 
seemed  to  awaken  another,  and  I  experienced  the 
truth  which  I  had  somewhere  read  : — 

"  •  Lulled  in  the  countless  chambers  of  the  brain, 
Our  thoughts  are  linked  by  many  a  hidden  chain  ; 
Awake  but  one,  and  lo  !  what  myriads  rise — 
Each  stamps  its  image  as  the  other  flies.' 

Whither  this  mysterious  train  of  thought  would 
lead  me  I  could  not  have  guessed." 

"  Did  you  again  go  to  the  Catholic  church  ?  " 
inquired  Luella. 

"Certainly.  We  went,  as  we  had  engaged  to  do 
in  the  morning.  But  I  was  somewhat  ashamed, 
even  then,  of  the  contrast  between  the  two  meet- 
ings. Here  our  eyes  were  dazzled  with  the  gaudy 
paraphernalia  of  the  place ;  with  the  imposing 
equipage  of  the  priest,  as  Dryden  says, 

' '  Clad  in  a  gown  that  glows  with  Tyrian  rays,* 

and  with  the  pompous  ceremony.  Our  ears  were 
filled  with  sounds  pleasant  enough  to  amuse,  quite 
operatic,  perhaps,  but  we  heard  scarcely  a  word 


Perplexity  and  Perseciitioji. 


present 


197 


)uld  understand 
When  I  tried  to  apologize  for  this  to  my  friend, 
he  quoted  a  brief  crkicism  of  the  Apostle  Paul 
on  the  subject  of  speaking  in  the  churches  in  an 
'unknown  tongue,'  which  fell  like  a  scathing  re- 
buke upon  me,  and  I  had  nothing  more  to  say. 
But  I  had  often  vowed  to  be  true  to  the  Church, 
though  I  might  be  too  weak  to  defend  her  from 
her  enemies,  and  so  I  continued  attending  her 
services  for  several  months,  though  with  decreas- 
ing interest.  I  occasionally  attended  a  Protestant 
church,  and  with  increasing  benefit.  It  was 
during  these  days  that  I  went  with  my  chum 
to  a  Sunday-school,  with  which  I  was  so  pleased, 
that,  as  the  boys  sometimes  say,  'I  fell  in  love 
with  it.'" 

"  And  did  you  at  once  begin  courting,  as  is  gen- 
erally the  case  ?  "  asked  Johnnie,  with  a  roguish 
twinkle  in  his  eyes. 

"  I  am  not  ashamed  to  confess  that  I  did,  and 
it  was  not  long  before  we  wedded,  nor  have  we 
ever  sought  to  be  divorced.  I  began  to  pay  my 
visits  as  often  as  I  could,  though  not  regularly, 
either  as  a  scholar  or  otherwise.  I  was  still  a  lit- 
tle shy  of  the  influence  of  those  simple  Bible  les- 
sons, for  I  was  not  yet  the  owner  of  a  Bible,  and, 
of  course,  I  was  not  a  Bible  reader." 


11 


ii 


%  ■      . 


<; 


-^f  .  j  ' 


ttlfi 


198 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


"  What,  nineteen  years  old !  and  had  never  read 
a  Bible!  "  exclaimed  Luella. 

*'  It  is  even  so.  I  could  not  then  have  told  you 
whether  the  book  of  Matthew  was  in  the  Old  Tes- 
tament or  the  New." 

"  Pray,  give  us  the  reasons  why  you  did  not  read 
the  Bible  before  this  time." 

Looking  at  my  watch  I  answered,  "  It  is  now  too 
late,  and  I  must  reserve  this  question  for  our  next 
interview." 


The  Bible — In  Home  and  Stiiool. 


199 


M,ji 


XI. 


,'■*:!' 


m 


W'X\ 


THE    BIBLE — IN    HOME   AND    SCHOOL. 

Thy  word  is  a  lamp  unto  my  feet  and  a  light  unto  my  path. 

— David. 

WHEN  we  next  came  together,  Luella  re- 
newed her  question  about  the  Bible.  She 
further  remarked  that  she  could  not  see  why- 
Catholics  did  not  love  and  read  the  Bible  like 
Protestants.  For  her  part  she  felt  all  the  time 
like  singing : — 

"  How  precious  is  the  Book  divine, 
By  inspiration  given  ; 
Bright  as  a  lamp  its  doctrines  shine, 
To  guide  our  souls  to  heaven." 

"  You  might  go  even  further,  Miss  Luella,"  said 
Professor  W.,  "  for,  truly,  the  Bible  is  the  inestima- 
ble gift  of  God  to  man,  the  only  true  rule  and 
guide  of  our  faith  and  practice.  It  is  the  great 
light-house  of  the  world." 

"  It  is,  indeed,  the  square,"  I  added,  "by  which 
we  are  to  measure  and  lay  out  our  religious  work. 
It  is  also  the  plumb-line  seen  by  the  Prophet 
Amos  in  the  midst  of  the  people.     Isaiah  says, 


A 

h'i-.i 


illijl 


\  ■  w. 


■>  13 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


*  Judgment  also  will  I  lay  to  the  line,  and  right- 
eousness to  the  plummet,'  meaning,  of  course,  the 
law  of  God,  as  revealed  in  his  word.  He  who  is 
unwilling  to  abide  by  this  test  must  be  false." 

"  As  you  intimate,  these  positions  seem  almost 
axiomatic,"  remarked  the  Professor.  "  It  is,  there- 
fore, quite  unaccountable,  and  very  significant 
v\  ,chal,  that  the  priests  of  the  Catholic  Church  so 
unanimously  and  decidedly  oppose  the  Bible.  It 
would  greatly  please  me  to  hear  their  reasons — if 
they  really  have  any — for  so  doing." 

"  The  first  reason  I  ever  heard  from  them,"  I 
replied,  "  is,  that  the  Bible  is  essentially  a  Protest- 
ant book.  Hence  I  never  heard  a  priest  mention 
the  word  Bible  without  contempt.  Whenever 
they  desire  to  speak  of  their  own  Bibles  they  use 
the  term  Holy  Scriptures,  or  Canonical  Writings. 
In  the  Catechism  in  which  I  was  taught  there  is 
not  a  word  said  about  the  Scriptures,  for  or  against. 
Every  thing  seems  to  be  referred  to  the  authority 
of  the  Church."  # 

"There  is  not  much  exaggeration,  then,"  said 
the  Professor,  "  in  what  a  friend  of  mine  wrote 
me  from  Italy  a  few  days  ago.  One  paragraph  of 
his  letter  was  as  follows ;  *  Even  a  Catholic  priest 
said  to  me.  These  gentlemen '  (meaning  the  Pope 
and  his  council)  '  have  certainly  simplified  matters 


m\ 


The  Bible — In  Home  and  SclwoL       20 1 
greatly.     Tliey  have  reduced  the  creed  to  a  single 


article —  I  believe  in  the  Pope ;  '  the  Bible  to  a 
single  verse — *  Thou  art  Peter ;  '  worship  to  a  sin- 
gle observance — '  Thou  shalt  worship  the  Blessed 
Virgin ;  '  and  duty  to  a  single  rule — '  In  every  dif- 
ficulty, consult  the  Sacred  Congregation  at  Rome 
and  obey  it  exactly."* 

"  This  is  quite  true,  and  differs  from  my  early 
teaching  mainly  in  this,  that  with  me  the  Bible 
was  wholly  ignored.  My  mother  used  to  spend 
hours  in  telling  us  that  Luther,  a  learned  but  de- 
praved monk,  intending  to  invent  a  new  religion 
suited  to  his  lusts,  wrote  a  book,  caused  it  to  be 
hidden  under  a  tombstone  in  a  cemetery,  and 
then  reported  that,  in  a  vision  of  the  night,  angels 
had  revealed  to  him  where  lay  the  true  Book  of 
God.  Accordingly  search  was  made,  the  book 
was  found,  and  hence  our  Bible  and  the  Protestant 
religion.  She  further  told  us  that  this  same 
Luther  was  tormented  with  the  fires  of  hell  even 
before  his  death,  so  that  his  friends  were  com- 
pelled to  immerse  him  in  a  tub  of  cold  water, 
which,  however,  would  in  a  few  minutes  boil 
around  his  burning  frame,  necessitating  frequent 
changes  of  the  bath.  So  much  then  about  my 
mother's  teachings  in  regard  to  what  she  supposed 
to  be  the  true  origin  of  Protestantism. 


I  Hit 


I 


I' 

'tis- 

,'     - 


i- 


^.■^ 


.;<:1 


m 


W^ 


"  Running  in  a  parallel  line  with  this,  and  suffi- 
ciently similar  to  it  to  show  their  common  origin, 
came  the  teaching  of  the  priests,  that  the  Protest- 
ant Bible  is  a  falsified  copy  of  the  word  of  God. 
Now  here  are  two  Bibles,  King  James's  transla- 
tion, as  it  is  called,  held  as  authority  among  Prot- 
estants, and  the  Douay  version,  held  as  authority 
in  the  Catholic  Church.  And  I  assert,  that  after 
long  and  careful  study  and  comparing  of  both,  I 
find  them  so  much  alike,  that,  bating  the  notes  in 
the  Douay,  and  the  Apocrypha,  which  neither  the 
Jews  nor  the  early  Christians  considered  a  part 
of  the  sacred  Canon,  it  requires  considerable  and 
close  scrutiny  to  find  the  difference.  Protestants 
believe  their  copy  to  be  a  little  the  more  perfect — 
and  for  good  reasons — for  it  is  translated  directly 
from  the  original  tongues ;  while  the  Douay  is  a 
translation  from  the  Latin  Vulgate,  which  was 
itself  translated  from  the  original  Hebrew  and 
Greek  by  Jerome,  and  subsequently  revised  by 
order  of  the  Council  of  Trent.  I  have  also  two 
translations  in  French,  one  by  Genoude,  and  a 
New  Testament  by  Le  Maistre  de  Sacy,  both  Cath- 
olic editions,  and  yet  so  few  and  merely  verbal  are 
the  differences  between  the  Protestant  and  Cath- 
olic versions  in  my  possession,  that  I  have  but 
little   preference   for  one   or   the   other,     I  will 


The  Bible — In  Home  and  School.       203 


!i  ^  ,| 


venture  to  say,  that  if  either  one  is  sent  out  into  tlie 
world  without  note  or  comment,  it  will  become  a 
lamp  for  the  feet  of  the  nations,  and  a  light  for 
their  path." 

"  But  how  is  it,"  inquired  Monsieur  G.,  "  that  the 
priests  are  constantly  urging  that  the  Bible  is  a  dan- 
gerous book  ?  Though  several  years  a  student  in 
the  College  of  the  Jesuits  in  Montreal,  I  never  saw 
a  Bible  of  any  kind  there.  The  scarcity  of  Bibles 
among  the  Catholics  of  Canada  is  proverbial." 

"  I  remember  well,"  I  added,  "  that  when  an 
oath  was  to  be  administered  by  an  officer  of  the 
law  in  our  house  once — and  we  were  living  in  the 
village  of  Henryville — it  took  a  long  time  to  find  a 
Bible  for  this  purpose.  And  when  at  last  it  was 
brought  in — and  I  think  it  was  a  Protestant  copy 
— such  a  dread  of  it  fell  on  us  all,  that  I  hid  away 
in  a  corner  behind  my  mother,  just  peeping  out 
slyly  to  see  what  was  going  on,  and  remained  there 
trembling  until  the  dreaded  volume  was  removed 
from  the  house.  But  the  priests  say  that  it  is  dan- 
gerous because  *  hard  to  be  understood,'  as  Peter 
wrote  in  regard  to  some  things  in  the  epistles  of 
Paul.  However,  Peter  clearly  shows  that  it  is  the 
unlearned  and  unstable — though  possibly  learned 
in  worldly  philosophy — who  'wrest  these  passages, 
as  they   do   the  other  Scriptures,  to    their   own 


■'-1:1 


1 8 

■If 


m 


f-  11 


'^mk 


204 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


destruction.'  The  passage  docs  not  disprove  the 
fact  of  the  general  simplicity  of  the  Scriptures, 
which  Isaiah  asserts  are  so  easily  understood  that 
*  the  wayfaring  man,  though  a  fool,  shall  not  err 
therein,*  and  which  Paul  says  to  Timothy,  '  are 
able  to  make  wise  unto  salvation.' " 

"  But  the  priests  hold,  I  believe,  that  Peter  con- 
demns the  right  of  private  judgment  in  interpret- 
ing the  Scriptures,"  he  continued. 

"  Let  us  examine  the  passage  in  question."  I 
then  read  from  the  Douay  Bible  as  follows :  "  And 
this  voice  we  heard  brought  from  heaven,  when 
we  were  with  him  in  the  holy  mount.  And  we 
have  the  more  firm  prophetical  word :  whereunto 
you  do  well  to  attend,  as  to  a  light  that  shineth  in 
a  dark  place,  until  the  day  dawn,  and  the  day- 
star  arise  in  your  hearts  :  understanding  this  first, 
that  no  prophecy  of  Scripture  is  made  by  private 
interpretation.  For  prophecy  came  not  by  the 
will  of  man  at  any  time  :  but  the  holy  men  of  God 
spoke,  inspired  by  the  Holy  Ghost."  I  then  ex- 
plained as  follows : — 

"  The  plain  meaning  of  the  apostle  is  this :  that 
while  in  the  mount  of  transfiguration  he  heard  the 
voice  of  the  Father  testifying  to  the  Son's  true 
messiahship ;  and  now  the  writings  of  the  prophets 
concerning  Christ  are  more  firmly  established  or 


The  Bible — ///  Hoine  and  School.       205 


re  the 
)tures, 
d  that 
lot  err 


> 


are 


ir  con- 
erpret- 

m."     I 
"  And 
1,  when 
\.nd  we 
jreunto 
neth  in 
le  day- 
is  first, 
private 
by  the 
of  God 
len  ex- 
is:  that 
ard  the 
n's  true 
rophets 
shed  or 


:onfirmed,  showing  that  they  wrote  or  spoke  as 
they  were  inspired  by  the  Holy  Ghost,  and  not 
from  their  own  individual  or  private  interpretation 
or  invention,  as  the  original  word  evidently  signi- 
fies. Hence  the  *  private  interpretation  *  refers  to 
the  giving  or  uttering  of  prophecy,  and  not  to  its 
reception  or  reading  by  ourselves.  In  any  event, 
Catholic  priests  and  people  '  will  do  well  to  attend 
to  these  prophetical  words,'  as  they  are  exhorted 
to  do  by  the  inspired  Peter,  *  As  to  a  light  that 
shineth  in  a  dark  place  until  the  day  dawn,  and 
the  day-star  arise  in  their  hearts.'  When  I  add 
to  Peter's  exhortation  the  command  of  Christ  to 
'  search  the  Scriptures,'  and  Luke's  commendation 
of  the  noble  Bereans  who  studied  with  blessed 
effect  the  word  of  truth,  and  Paul's  recognition  of 
the  glorious  influence  of  Scripture  knowledge 
upon  Timothy  from  his  childhood,  and  many  other 
scriptural  directions  all  agreeing  with  these,  I  am 
puzzled  even  now  to  account  for  that  teaching 
which  led  me  in  my  childhood  to  entertain  such  a 
superstitious  fear  of  the  Bible.  I  once  had  a 
frightful  dream  in  which  I  saw  Satan  reading  a 
Testament,  and,  awaking  in  the  midst  of  afev^^^^sh 
excitement,  I  believed  he  was  the  only  being  in 
the  universe  that  ought  to  have  free  access  to  this 
strange  book ! 


m 


i 


I 


w^^ 


,    ,1 


M 


')'%' 


Spiritual  Struggles. 

"  Horrible  as  these  views  and  feelings  may  seem 
to  you,  they  were  nevertheless  the  legitimate  re- 
sult of  my  instruction  upon  this  subject.  1  had 
listened  to  many  discourses  by  Catholic  priests 
against  the  use  of  the  Bible.  This  was  the  burden 
of  teaching  during  the  mission  of  *  brother'  Tel- 
mon,  at  Henryville,  at  the  time  I  was  received  into 
the  Order  of  the  Scapular.  (See  chapter  viii.) 
And  as  actions  always  speak  louder  than  words, 
permit  me  to  give  you  a  scrap  of  history  concern- 
ing the  operations  of  that  zealous  man.  About 
the  middle  of  October,  1842,  by  order  of  the 
Bishop  of  Montreal,  Telmon.  with  his  coadjutors, 
came  to  a  neighborhood  in  the  town  of  Champlain, 
Clinton  County,  N.  Y.,  known  as  Corbeau,  whose 
inhabitants  were  nearly  all  French  Canadians. 
The  people  had  been  pretty  well  supplied  with 
Bibles  and  Testaments  by  means  of  colporteurs, 
hence  the  alleged  necessity  of  the  mission.  After 
the  meetings  had  progressed  some  days,  and  the 
priests  had  reached  a  high  degree  of  power  over 
the  public  conscience,  an  order  was  issued  for  the 
surrender  of  all  the  Bjbles  in  the  place.  Some 
of  the  people  refused  to  give  up  what  they  consid- 
ered was  to  them  a  great  treasure,  but  a  sufficient 
number  of  the  sacred  volumes  were  I  nought  to  make 
a  large  bonfire,  which  was  kindled  on  the  twenty- 


■^'! 


The  Bible — ///  Home  and  School.       207 


.'1 


seem 

te  re- 

L   had 

jriests 

urden 

'  Tel- 

d  into 
viii.) 

words. 

ncern- 

Aboat 

3f    the 

Ljutors, 

nplain, 
whose 
dians. 
d  with 
rteurs, 
After 
d  the 
r  over 
for  the 
Some 
onsid- 
fficient 
o  make 
wenty- 


seventh  of  the  month,  in  open  day,  and  in  the 
presence  of  a  large  concourse  of  people.*  In 
1855  I  had  the  pleasure  of  visiting  this  neighbor- 
hood and  of  preaching  to  the  peoplC;  where  I 
found  some  of  the  families  who  still  retained  their 
proscribed  Bibles.  But  I  found  one  old  lady  who 
delighted  to  speak  of  herself  as  an  eye-witness 
and  participant  in  the  scenes  of  that  conflagra- 
tion, and  who  boasted  of  her  '  zeal  for  God  '  by 
saying,  '  I  would  run  up  to  the  burning  pile,  kick 
the  Bibles  further  iniio  the  fire,  and  then  fly  back 
for  fear  they'd  poison  me  1  '  " 

"  Ah,  it  is  plain,  "  said  the  Professor  gravely^ 
"  as  to  who  is  responsible  for  the  fear  which  the 
great  majority  of  Ror  >anists  have  of  the  Bible.  In 
my  travels  through  Spain,  Italy,  South  /  merica, 
and  some  of  the  Atlantic  islands,  I  learned  of  in- 
dividuals and  whole  families  who  were  imprisoned, 
and  otherwise  punished  by  the  Church,  for  being 
found  reading,  or  even  possessing,  a  Bible.  The 
same  would  undoubtedly  occur  in  this  country 
if  Romanists  were  in  the  ascendency,  and  the 
priests  had  the  requisite  power,  as  '  Father ' 
Hecker,  the  editor  of  the  *  Catholic  World,'  does 
not   scruple,  in  public  lectures  and  otherwise,  to 

*  For  further  particulars  see  Dowling's  "History  of  Ro- 
manism," p.  612. 


li 

si 


^A 


■  f'i  .i 


I, 
■  4i  'i 


•if  f?  1 


i  #lltfi 


Hi' 

iii' 


l!B^ 


Spiritual   Struggles. 


announce  that  they  will  have  as  soon  as  1890,  if 
not  before !  " 

*'  I  hope  not,"  I  replied.  "  But  permit  me  here 
to  give  you  the  last  plea  of  the  priests  against  the 
reading  of  the  Bible  by  their  people.  They  say 
that  it  is  unnecessary,  because  they  teach  all 
that  the  people  need  to  know  in  order  to  their 
salvation." 

"  But  what  would  you  think  of  me  as  the  teacher 
of  your  children,"  added  the  Professor,  "  if  I  should 
tell  them,  'You  have  no  need  of  text-books  to 
study  ;  all  that  is  necessary  is  to  listen  to  me  .'* '  " 

"  I  would  havc^  you  dismissed  at  once  if  I  could," 
I  replied. 

"And  yet  there  would  be  more  ground  to  jus- 
tify  me  in  pursuing  this  course  than  for  the  relig- 
ious teacher  in  that,  for  there  is  scarcely  any 
occasion  for  controversy  in  the  realm  of  the  com- 
mon sciences,  and  even  if  a  scientific  error  were 
inculcated  it  might  be  easily  corrected;  but  this 
is  not  true  of  religious  teaching.  I  have  always 
admired  the  sound  philosophy  as  well  as  keen  wit 
of  the  Irishman,  whose  successful  controversy  with 
his  priest  on  this  subject  runs  as  follows :  '  But,* 
said  the  priest,  '  the  Bible  is  for  the  priests,  and 
not  for  the  likes  o'  you.'  '  O,  but,  sir!'  he  an- 
swered, '  I  was  reading  in  my  Bible,  You  shall  read 


The  Bible — /;/  Home  and  School.      209 


I        \!' 


it  to  your  chirren.'  *  But,  Michael,'  says  the 
priest,  '  you  can't  understand  the  Bible.  It  is  not 
for  you  to  understand  it,  my  man.'  *  Ah,  very 
well,  yer  riverence,  if  I  can't  understand  it  it'll 
do  me  no  harm,  and  what  I  can  understand  does 
me  a  heap  o'  good.'  'Very  well,  Mike,  you  must 
go  to  the  Church  and  the  priests  will  teach  you. 
The  Church  will  give  you  the  milk  of  the  word.' 
*  And  where,  indade,  does  the  Church  get  it  from 
but  out  of  the  Bible?  Ah,  your  riverence,  I'd 
rayther  keep  the  cow  meself.'  " 

After  the  subsidence  of  merriment  which 
followed  the  Professor's  well-told  story,  I  re- 
marked : — 

"  Wherefore,  then,  this  united  and  persistent  cry 
of  the  priests  against  the  Bible  in  the  family  and 
in  the  schools  }  Why  do  they  not  keep  Bibles  for 
sale,  as  they  do  other  books,  in  abundance  }  Why 
do  they  not  suggest  the  use  of  their  own  Bibles 
in  the  public  schools  if  they  really  object  to  ours, 
for  no  well-informed  or  unprejudiced  Protestant 
would  object  to  their  introduction  }  " 

*'  Ah,  sir,"  replied  the  Professor,  "  I  am  con- 
vinced, as  never  before,  that  this  is  a  crusade 
against  the  system  of  our  common  schools  itself, 
and  that  it  is  the  old  cry  of  the  slave-master  against 

the  education  of   the  slave.     It   is  even  like  the 
14 


si 


'     f 


till 

m 


210 


Spiritual   Struggles. 


:■■     ! 


m  '^ 


f?'* 


:A  i 


instinct  o"  ^he  beast  of  prey  which  courts  the  dark- 
ness in  w  (  to  commit  its  depredations.  There 
are  men  who  love  darkness  more  than  light  because 
their  deeds  are  evil.  It  is  even  doubtful  whether 
the  pope  can  much  longer  remain  in  Rome  amid 
the  kindling  light  of  the  Bible.  The  one  or  the 
other  will  probably  have  to  leave.  But  I  think 
they  might  as  well  ask  us  to  exclude  sun-light  and 
fresh  air  as  the  Bible  from  our  schools.  I  admit, 
however,  that  the  Bible  is  a  dangerous  book  I  It 
is  dangerous  to  false  doctrines  and  their  teachers; 
dangerous  to  superstition,  bigotry,  and  to  civii 
and  religious  despotism;  because  it  mspires  free- 
dom of  thought  and  of  investigation,  and  a  sin- 
cere respect  for  conscience  and  the  rights  of  man, 
and  thus  becomes  the  palladium  of  our  liberties." 
"  I  am  sure,"  I  added,  "  that  it  is  not  only  an 
alarm-bell  to  awaken  the  careless,  but  also  a  lever 
to  raise  them  up,  and  nerve-force  to  set  them  in 
motion.  It  supplies  the  chief  stimulus  and  mo- 
tive power  in  every  department  of  thought  and 
action.  'We  account  the  Scriptures  of  God,' 
wrote  Sir  Isaac  Newton,  '  to  be  the  most  sublime 
philosophy.'  And  yet  how  true  is  the  remark  of 
an  American  divine  :  *  The  truths  of  the  Bible  are 
like  gold  in  the  soil.  Whole  generations  walk 
over  it,  and  know   not  what  treasures  are  hidden 


The  Bible — /;/  Home  and  School.        211 


ark- 

here 

ause 

ither 

amid 

r  the- 

think 

t  and 

.dmit, 

:I     It 

:hers ; 

I  civil 

5  free- 

a  sin- 
man, 

rties. 

|nly  an 
lever 
em  in 
d  mo- 
t   and 
God," 
iblime 
ark  of 
le  are 
walk 
iiidden 


beneath.  So  centuries  of  men  pass  over  the 
Scriptures,  and  know  not  what  riches  lie  under  the 
feet  of  their  interpretations.  Sometimes,  when  they 
discover  them,  they  call  them  new  truths.  One 
might  as  well  call  gold  newly  dug  new  gold.'  " 

"  It  was  just  in  this  light,  I  am  sure,"  said  Mon- 
sieur G.,  "  that  the  Catholic  Church  regarded  the 
utterances  of  the  Reformers.  They  were  only 
old,  precious,  but  forgotten  truths,  long  hidden  in 
the  rubbish  of  superstition.  So  I  think  that  the 
Protestantism  of  to-day  is  only  the  re-assertion  of 
old,  apostolical  truths  against  the  innovations  and 
errors  of  mediaeval  times,  as  the  study  of  the  Bible 
clearly  shows.  H«re  is  an  illustration  of  my  mean- 
ing :  A  neglected  urchin,  with  dirty  hands  and 
face,  and  hair  uncombed,  came  into  our  school- 
room one  day.  He  was  taken  to  the  wash-room 
and  compelled  to  make  a  thorough  toilet.  When 
a  mirror  was  placed  before  him  he  started  back  in 
surprise,  and  exclaimed,  'Why,  I've  forgotten  who 
this  is ! '  So,  when  the  Reformers  had  done  their 
work  upon  the  inner  life  and  outward  appearance 
of  the  Church,  the  Romish  hierarchy  cried  out, 
*  We  don't  know  her  ! '  But,"  abruptly  turning  to 
me,  he  continued,  "  do  tell  us  how  you  ever  came 
to  study  the  Bible,  notwithstanding  the  teachings 
of  your  parents  and  the  priests." 


% 

'1;  Kt 


m 

,1 


:  ■!■: 


'I! 


fl,^     A 


■i 


!!1 


-T; 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


"These  were  some  of  my  reasons.  I  had 
reached  an  age  vi^hen  I  began  to  feel  ashamed  of 
my  ignorance  of  what  then  seemed  to  me  to  be 
the  Book  of  books,  and  the  end  of  all  contro- 
versy. It  did  not  satisfy  me  to  tell  a  man,  *  I 
believe  so  and  so,  because  the  priests  tell  me  so.' 
I  wanted  to  be  able  to  say,  '  Thus  saith  the  Lord, 
the  great  Teacher.'  I  felt  this  the  more  keenly, 
perhaps,  because  in  all  my  debates  with  Joseph 
Cook,  he  invariably  overpowered  me  by  his  thor- 
ough knowledge  of  the  Bible.  One  day  while 
bleeding  from  the  thrust  of  his  two-edged  sword, 
I  thus  soliloquized :  *  Young  man,  I  will  fight  you 
with  your  own  weapons  !  '  I  further  reasoned  in 
this  way :  '  If  the  doctrines  of  my  Church  are 
taught  here  ' — and  I  did  not  then  doubt  that  they 
were — 'the  more  I  study  them,  the  better  pre- 
pared I  shall  be  to  defend  them,  and  to  make  ter- 
rible sorties  on  the  lines  of  the  enemy.'  Impelled 
by  such  convictions  I  made  the  purchase  of  this 
little  Bible,  upon  the  blank  page  of  which  you 
can  read  this  inscription :  *  Keeseville,  N.  Y., 
November  13,  1852.'  This  book,  as  /ou  can  see 
by  examination,  was  thoroughly  studied,  and  it 
was  productive  of  influences  which  I  hope,  on 
some  future  occasion,  to  be  able  to  explain." 


4. 


Alarmed—'' Blind  Peter'' 


213 


'  li 

V 


w 


this 
you 


In  see 


In 


d  it 


e,  on 


XII. 

ALA\<MED — «'  BLIND  PETER  " — MY  MOTHER. 

To  the  law  and  to  the  testimony  :  if  they  speak  not  accord- 
ing to  this  word,  it  is  because  there  is  no  light  in  them. — 
Isaiah. 

BOTH  the   Professor  and  Monsieur   G.  were 
absent  from  our  meeting  this  time,  as  were 
also  Johnnie  and  Mary,  who  had  gone  to  visit  their 
grandfather  in   the  country.     But  their  place  was 
at  least  partially  filled  by  a  popular  individual  well 
known  as  "  Blind  Peter,"  who,  in  consequence  of 
his  total  blindness  and  sincere  piety,  is  a  great 
favorite  in  the  family.     As  his  parents  and  Nora's 
happened  to  be  from  the  same  parish  in  Ireland, 
and  were  fast  friends,  who  often    spoke  to  their 
children  of  each  other,  they  seemed  even  on  their 
first  meeting  to  be  old  acquaintances.     Peter  lost 
no  time  in  further  influencing  Nora  favorably  to- 
ward himself  by  presenting  her  a  beautiful  little 
book  which  bears   his   name,  and   recounts,  in  a 
simple,  yet  forcible  style,  the  eventful  story  of  his 
life.     Though  never  a  very  firm  Catholic  even  in 
his  Emerald  Isle,  and  still  less  so  after  his  immi- 


■'«.!' 


'':  >l 


m  1 


■A 


214 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


1&. 


gration  here,  he  yet,  like  thousands  of  others, 
remained  a  nominal  member  of  that  Church  until 
about  twenty-eight  years  of  age,  when  he  was  con- 
verted and  became  a  sincere  Protestant  Christian. 
The  sale  of  his  book  is  now  his  chief  means  of 
support,  and  our  children  delight  to  lead  him 
around  among  the  people,  who  generously  patron- 
ize him.  Having  been  here  two  or  three  days,  and 
hearing  much  said  about  our  Sunday  afternoon 
interviews,  he  became  deeply  interested,  and  was 
pleased  to  become  a  participant  in  our  discussions. 
He  was  a  true  namesake  of  the  great  apostle,  at 
least,  in  his  readiness  to  talk,  and  as  soon  as  he 
had  been  led  to  his  chair,  and  all  were  quietly 
seated,  he  said  : — 

"I'm  right  sorry  that  I  have  not  heard  your 
conversations  from  the  firbt.  But  I  hope  to  get  the 
substance  of  them,  at  any  rate,  in  a  book  some 
time.  And  now  I  shall  rejoice  to  hear  you  speak, 
as  you  intimated  yesterday  that  you  expected  to 
do,  on  the  influence  of  Bible  reading  on  your 
mind." 

"  I  ought,  perhaps,  to  tell  you  now,"  I  replied, 
"  that  my  only  desire  when  I  began  to  read  the 
Scriptures  was  to  fortify  myself  in  Romanism. 
The  New  Testament  first  received  my  attention. 
There  was  much  that  I  did   not   understand,  and 


Alanned—''  Blind  Peter:' 


215 


[ied, 

the 

lism. 

lion. 

land 


this  caused  me  to  think  that,  perhaps,  the  priests 
were  right  in  attributing  obscurity  to  the  sacred 
Book.  But  I  found  myself  ahiiost  invohmtarily 
reasoning  on  this  wise :  '  If  I  were  to  read  a 
treatise  on  mathematics,  or  jihilosophy,  or  even 
history,  how  little  would  I  understand  from  the 
first  perusal.  But  by  mastering  the  elementary 
principles  and  simpler  rules,  and  gradually  ad-* 
vancing,  I  might  gain  a  tolerable  knowledge  of 
these  subjects.  So  will  I  do  with  the  Bible.'  I 
knew  it  contained  mysteries,  but  I  hoped  to  learn 
what  was  knowable  and  practical.  I  soon  found 
it  to  be  a  wonderful  key  to  unlock  the  secrets  of 
God's  will,  and  of  my  inner  life.  I  then  saw  what 
Paul  meant  by  saying  :  '  The  word  of  God  is  quick, 
and  powerful,  and  sharper  than  any  two-edged 
sword,  piercing  even  to  the  dividing  asunder  of 
soul  and  spirit,  and  of  the  joints  and  marrow,  and 
is  a  discerner  of  the  thoughts  and  intents  of  the 
heart.'  " 

"  But  was  this  *  sword  of  the  Spirit '  turned  for 
or  against  Romanism  ?  "  asked  Peter. 

"At  first  it  seemed  to  cut  in  every  direction; 
for  while  there  were  passages  that  appeared  to  fa- 
vor the  Catholic  Church,  I  soon  became  greatly 
alarmed,  not  so  much  at  the  teaching  of  a  single 
verse,  but  at  the  drift  of  entire  paragraphs  against 


!j 


,'*!^ 


Spiritual   Struggles. 


it.  For  instance,  every  Catholic  knows  what 
prominence  the  priests  give  to  *  traditions  '  in  their 
general  teachings.  But  I  found  both  Matthew 
and  Mark,  also  Paul  to  the  Colossians  and  to 
Titus,  agreeing  in  saying,  that  '  in  vain  they  do 
worship  God,  teaching  for  doctrines  the  command- 
ments of  men.  Thus  have  ye  made  the  com- 
mandments of  God  of  none  effect  by  your  tradi- 
tion.' This  was  a  cutting  blow  of  the  Spirit's 
sword  which  I  could  not  parry. 

"  But  my  alarm  greatly  increased  on  reading 
the  following  passage  in  one  of  Paul's  letters  to 
Timothy :  '  Now  the  Spirit  speaketh  expressly 
that  in  the  latter  times  some  shall  depart  from  the 
faith,  giving  heed  to  seducing  spirits  and  doctrines 
of  devils;  speaking  lies  in  hypocrisy,  having  their 
conscience  seared  with  a  hot  iron ;  forbidding  to 
marry,  and  commanding  to  abstain  from  meats,'  etc. 
Is  it  possible,  I  queried,  that  even  the  Christian 
Church,  or  any  branch  of  it,  can  thus  depart  from 
the  faith,  contrary  to  the  teaching  of  the  priests, 
who  assert  that  the  Catholic  Church,  at  least,  can 
never  go  astray  ?  And,  then,  this  departure  is  so 
great,  that  instead  of  having  recourse  to  the 
blessed  Holy  Spirit,  like  the  disobedient  King 
Saul,  they  *  give  heed  to  seducing  spirits,*  etc.,  that 
is,  to  alleged  apparitions  of  departed   saints,  and 


Alarmed—''  Blind  Peter!' 


217 


especially  of  the  Virgin  Mary.  Furthermore, 
those  who  have  thus  departed  from  the  *  faith 
which  was  once  delivered  unto  the  saints  *  may  be 
known  by  two  leading  characteristics,  namely,  they 

*  forbid  to  marry,'  and  'command  to  abstain  from 
meats.'  These  conclusions  were  stinging  to  my 
pride  and  alarming  to  my  conscience.  I  found  in 
the  Douay  Bible,  that,  by  means  of  a  note,  an  effort 
is  made  to  apply  this  passage  exclusively  to  cer- 
tain small  and  almost  unknown  sects  of  ancient 
heretics,  most  of  whom  existed  in  the  apostles 
day,  and  held  to  the  above  errors.  But  it  must 
be  remembered  that   this   falling  away  was  to  be 

*  in  the  latter  times,' — times  remote  from  the  days 
of  the  writer.  And  even  if  the  passage  applies  to 
the  sects  mentioned  in  the  note,  which  is  not  at 
all  likely,  it  applies  with  equal  force  to  all  those 
who  teach  the  same  pernicious  errors. 

"  My  fears  that  this  description  was  directly  ap- 
plicable to  the  Catholic  Church  were  greatly  con- 
firmed when  I  found  in  the  same  epistles  of  Paul 
the  very  sentences  which  identify  the  priests  with 
this  departure  from  the  faith.  I  refer  to  the  pas- 
sages which  relate  to  their  marriage,  where  it  is 
said  that  even  *  the  bishop  should  be  the  husband 
of  one  wife,  the  father  of  children,  one  that  ruleth 
well  his  own  house,  having  his  children  in  subjec- 


II 


i<ii- 


4 
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t 

t'; 

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'I  M 


ilf 


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Spiritual  Struggles. 


I 


I  I 


11 


i  I 


tion  with  all  gravity.'  Having  read  thus  far,  I 
endeavored  to  believe  that  the  bishop's  Svife' 
liere  meant  the  Church,  which  is  sometimes  called 
the  spouse  of  Christ,  and  that  his  'children  '  were 
the  members  of  the  Church.  But  further  reading 
dissipated  my  fair  conjecture,  and  left  me  in  the 
midst  of  perplexity  and  alarm.  'For,'  I  road,  *  if 
a  man  know  not  how  to  rule  his  own  house,  how 
shall  he  take  care  of  the  Church  of  God  ? '  I 
clearly  saw  that  '  his  own  house  '  and  '  the  Church 
of  God  '  were  two  distinct  realms,  which  ought  to 
resemble  each  other,  it  is  true;  so  closely,  in  fact, 
that  the  well-regulated  family  should  be  the  per- 
fect type  of  the  Church,  and  this  of  heaven. 
Then  my  mind  went  back  to  the  class  of  men 
whom  God  had  generally  chosen  to  rule  his  peo- 
ple. So  far  as  I  could  learn,  they  were  almost  in- 
variably married  men.  Such  was  the  case  with  the 
patriarchs,  the  prophets,  and  the  priests  of  Old 
Testament  times.  The  apostles  of  our  Lord  were 
married  men,  as  the  above  passage  plainly  inti- 
mates. We  are  not  left,  however,  to  mere  intima- 
tions. We  know  that  Peter,  who  is  taken  as  the 
pattern  and  supposed  first  pope  of  the  Catholic 
Church,  was  a  married  man,  whose  wife's  mother 
Jesus  cured  of  a  fever." 

"  Catholic  priests  teach  that  Peter  and  the  other 


Alarmed—''  Blind  Pete. 


219 


)ther 


apostles  forsook  their  wives  and  families  to  follow 
Christ,"  said  Peter. 

"  But  history  denies  any  such  assertion.  The 
apostles  undoubtedly  left  their  families  tempora- 
rily— never  otherwise — when  they  went  out  upon 
their  extensive  missionary  tours,  as  Christ  inti- 
mates in  his  conversation  with  Peter  on  this  sub- 
ject. They  were  all  undoubtedly  willing  to  leave 
their  families  forever  if  necessary.  But  Paul,  who 
is  the  only  bachelor  apostle  we  know  of — unless 
Barnabas  be  another — clearly  sh  jws  that  it  was  his 
right,  as  an  apostle,  to  be  married  if  he  chose ; 
that  marriage  is  honorable  in  all  classes;  and  that 
it  was  a  voluntary  surrender  of  his  privilege  which 
kept  him  single.  He  also  declares  that  his  con- 
dition was  an  exception  to  apostolic  usage.  Hear 
what  he  says  :  '  Have  we  not  power  '  (referring  to 
himself  and  Barnabas)  '  to  lead  about  a  sister,  a 
wife,  as  other  apostles,  and  as  the  brethren  of  the 
Lord,  and  Cephas  .<* '  Rev.  Dr.  Challoner  charges 
Protestants  with  having  willfully  perverted  this 
text.  He  says  the  word  wife  should  be  transiated 
woman,  that  is,  a  Christian  woman,  a  sister  in 
Christ.  Now,  I  acknowledge  that  the  original 
word  signifies  woman.  It  is  a  word,  however, 
Avhich  the  Greek  classic  authors,  whom  Paul  often 
quotes,  use   for  wife.     And  if   it  dees  not  mean 


I 


:  ?j 


I! 


If 

i 


•!1  , 


220 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


r  >■> 


¥i: 


III 
I 


wife  here,  what  purpose  could  the  word  serve  in 
the  passage  after  the  word  sister  has  been  intro- 
duced ?  It  would  only  be  a  ridiculous  tautology. 
Then  Dr.  Challoner  would  certainly  not  insist 
upon  his  rendering  if  he  carefully  reflected  upon 
the  liability  of  such  conduct  to  be  misconstrued — 
conduct  that  would  have  produced  endless  scan- 
dal even  among  the  holy  apostles — which  he  would 
make  out  Paul  was  trying  to  vindicate,  namely, 
that  of  leading  about  a  woman  not  his  wife  !  " 

"  Ah  !  "  exclaimed  Peter,  "  these  priests  are  such 
paragons  of  virtue,  so  far  removed  from  the  least 
suspicion  of  impure  thoughts  even,  that  they  could 
not  conceive  of  any  impropriety,  not  to  say  scan- 
dal, in  unmarried  people  going  about  in  this  style  ! 
But  to  drop  this  irony,  don't  you  see  how  they 
endeavor  by  this  interpretation  both  to  hide  the 
truth  of  the  apostle's  meaning,  and  to  cover  up 
their  own  conduct  with  the  nuns  ?  " 

"  Do  you  really  believe,  Peter,"  asked  Nora  ex- 
citedly, "that  there  is  ever  any  improper  intimacy 
between  the  priests  and  the  '  sisters  ? '  I  have 
often  had  my  suspicions,  as  I  know  many  Catholics 
do,  but  I  have  never  dared  express  them  fully." 

*'  How  can  it  be  otherwise  ? "  Peter  replied. 
"You  must  judge  of  human  nature  there  as  you 
do  elsewhere." 


erve  in 
I  intrc- 
tology. 
t  insist 
i  upon 
;rued — 
s  scan- 
e  would 
namely, 
e  ! 

ire  such 
he  least 
jy  could 
ly  scan- 
s  style ! 
o\v  they 
de  the 
over  up 


ora  ex- 
ntimacy 
I  have 
atholics 
ully." 
replied, 
as  you 


Alarmed—''  Blind  Peters 


221 


"Now,"  I  remarked,  "I  want  to  say  to  you 
that  those  Scriptures  which  bear  upon  the  social 
and  domestic  life  of  the  early  ministers  of  Christ 
not  only  made  me  feel  that  the  Romish  Church 
had  widely  departed  from  the  faith,  but  to  fear 
that  corruption  was  festering  at  its  very  fountain 
head — even  among  its  teachers.  And  *  like  priests 
like  people,'  was  a  motto  I  often  thought  of. 
These  things  made  me  restless  and  unhappy. 
However,  my  fear  did  not  culminate  in  a  panic 
until  I  reached  the  seventeenth  and  eighteenth 
chapters  of  Revelation.  I  cannot  now  describe 
to  you  the  convictions  that  came  rushing  upon  me 
as  I  read  those  passages.  From  indications  that 
lie  on  the  very  face  of  them,  and  pervade  them 
throughout,  came  the  unavoidable  conclusion  that 
the  great  city  spoken  of  is  Rome  ;  that  the  woman 
decked  with  royal  purple  and  scarlet,  with  the 
golden  chalice  in  her  hand,  who  was  to  exert  such 
universal  power  over  the  kingdoms  of  the  earth, 
and  who  made  merchandise  of  the  souls  of  men, 
is  no  other  than  the  Roman  Catholic  Church.  I 
read  the  passages  carefully,  and  trembled.  I  re- 
read them  and  then  wept.  I  cannot  portray  the 
sadness  and  terror  of  that  moment.  Up  to  this 
time  I  had  entertained  hopes  that  something  might 
yet   be   able  to  dissipate    my   apprehension   with 


.1 


'!•  f 

,1, ; 

» 

iiiLi 

222 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


m 


^f 

■:  . 

«', 

1 

i,', 

1 

; 

,* 

'.; 

\  '  1 

^ 

regard  to  errors  in  the  Church.  I  still  continued  to 
attend  her  services,  determined  to  cling  to  her  to 
the  last;  but  my  study  of  these  chapters  seemed 
to  have  quite  severed  the  knot  which  bound  me 
to  her,  though  there  still  lingered  a  hope  that  I 
might  be  mistaken. 

"  But  from  this  time  there  sprang  up  in  my 
heart  a  peculiar  attachment  to  the  little  Bible 
which  was  making  such  disclosures  to  me.  I  felt 
like  saying,  '  If  I  am  wrong  let  me  know  it.'  At 
this  time  I  carried  my  Bible  every-where  with  me, 
and  spent  all  my  leisure  moments  in  reading  it. 
Some  Sabbaths  I  read  nearly  all  day  long,  scarcely 
taking  time  to  eat  my  meals.  In  this  inquiring 
and  undecided  state  I  continued  during  the  fall 
and  winter  of  1852-53.  The  following  spring  I 
visited  my  friends  at  Ticonderoga,  and,  in  my  san- 
guine and  ingenuous  manner,  I  made  frequent 
mention  of  the  things  which  had  recently  so  fully 
possessed  my  thoughts.  Too  great  frankness  in 
speaking  my  mind  is,  probably,  one  of  my  faults. 
My  mother,  especially,  was  thrown  into  a  state 
of  excitement  and  alarm  over  me.  One  day  I  was 
reading  my  Bible  to  myself,  alone  with  my  mother 
in  her  room.  She  was  busy  sewing;  but  I  saw 
that  a  great  care  was  upon  her.  At  length  she 
raised  her  eyes  from   her  work,  and,  with  a  pathos 


My  Mother. 


223 


led  to 
ler  to 
emed 
id  me 
that  I 

in  my 
Bible 
I  felt 
t.'    At 
Lth  me, 
ding  it. 
2arcely 
:iuiring 
he  fall 
>ring  I 
ny  san- 
:equent 
,0  fully 
ess  in 
faults. 
la  state 
,y  I  was 
nother 
I  saw 
th  she 
pathos 


I  can  never  forget,  she  said,  '  O^  Louis  !  sers  cette 
Bible,  car  elk  va  te  rui?ter ! '  *  O,  Louis  !  put  away 
that  Bible,  for  it  will  ruin  you !  '  Then  she  began 
to  exhort  me  and  to  plead,  until  the  big  tears  ran 
down  her  face  in  streams.  This  was  one  of  the 
most  fearful  moral  conflicts  of  my  life.  I  loved 
my  mother  as  ardently  as  a  child  can  love.  I  also 
loved  my  Bible.  I  knew  not  what  to  do.  Filial 
affection  seemed  likely  to  overpower  moral  obli- 
gation. There  were  moments  when  it  appeared 
as  if  she  might  be  right,  and  I  wrong.  I  assured 
her,  however,  that  I  was  actuated  by  the  purest  of 
motives. 

"  After  a  while  I  slipped  the  Bible  into  my 
pocket,  left  the  house,  and  repaired  to  a  beautiful 
wood-crowned  hill  which  overlooks  a  portion  of 
Lake  George,  where,  alone  with  God,  I  studied 
the  inspired  word.  By  and  by,  impelled  by  an 
influence  which  I  could  not  interpret,  I  was  led 
to  select  a  verse,  generally  from  Proverbs  or  the 
Epistle  of  James,  which  were  at  that  time  favorite 
books,  the  one  for  its  diversified  wisdom,  the  other 
for  its  practical  piety,  and  from  this  text  I  would 
preach  to  the  woods.  And,  truly,  I  never  preached 
to  more  attentive  audiences  !  The  tall,  well-pro- 
portioned, living  trees  I  called  saints,  the  distorted 
and    decayed    trees  I  called    sinners,  and  thus  I 


224 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


endeavored  to  preach  the  Gospel  both  to  good  and 
bad.  These  were  golden  opportunities  to  my  own 
heart  and  mind.  Though  days  of  conflict,  they 
were  also  days  of  conquest." 

Here  ended  our  discussion,  which  was  followed 
by  an  earnest  prayer  by  Peter,  who  besought  the 
Lord  for  light  to  shine  especially  upon  those  who 
are  forsaking  error  and  seeking  the  truth  as  re- 
vealed in  the  Gospel  of  Jesus. 


M 


1  '■•■ 

i  '      ;      1 

' 

:     ! 

|;|| 

■  : 

fl 

1 

' 

'rm 


Study  and  Transition. 


22$ 


XIII. 

STUDY    AND    TRANSITION THE   VIRGIN    MARY — 

PURGATORY. 

Prove  all  things  ;   hold  fast  that  which  is  good. — Paul, 

THE  day  of  our  gathering,  filled  with  co- 
incidences which  revealed  the  working  of 
God's  own  hand  among  us,  had  been  peculiarly 
interesting.  At  our  morning  services  quite  a  num- 
ber of  persons,  including  several  Sunday-school 
scholars,  had  come  forward  to  unite  with  the 
Church  on  their  personal  profession  of  faith  in  our 
Lord  Jesus  Christ.  Not  least  in  the  joy  of  our 
hearts  came  Professor  W.  and  Nora !  After  the 
administration  of  baptism  to  those  who  had  not 
been  thus  consecrated  to  God  in  their  infancy, 
the  whole  Church,  in  her  augmented  and  joyful 
strength,  joined  in  partaking  of  the  holy  com- 
munion, as  was  our  custom  to  do  on  the  first  Sab- 
bath of  each  month.  The  sermon  of  the  occasion 
was  preached  by  Rev.  Damas  Brough,  also  a  con- 
vert from  Romanism.  It  was  a  memorable  hour, 
making  us  feel  as  if  we  had  fallen  upon  apostolic 

days. 
16 


Yv\. 


Spiritual  Struggles. 

When  the  time  of  our  afternoon  sdance  arrived 
— and  all  who  had  ever  been  with  us  were  present 

Monsieur  G.  gladly  informed  us  that  in  the 
morning  he  had  consummated  his  alliance  with  a 
branch  of  the  Protestant  Church,  though  not  the 
same  to  which  we  here  belonged.  But  he  felt,  as 
had  been  maintained  throughout  our  discussions, 
that  Protestantism  is  a  unit  on  the  fundamental 
teachings  of  Revelation.  This  information  was 
received  with  great  joy  by  us  all,  and  it  prepared 
the  way  for  the  Professor  to  remark,  that  two 
things  developed  in  our  talks  here  had  led  him  to 
resolve  upon  the  decisive  step  he  had  taken  this 
morning.  First,  the  eagerness  with  which  he  saw 
that  Catholics  like  Monsieur  G.  and  Nora,  becom- 
ing enlightened  in  the  teachings  of  the  Bible,  seek 
to  identify  themselves  in  experience  and  practice, 
notwithstanding  the  obstacles  before  them,  with 
evangelical  Churches.  This  made  him  feel 
ashamed  of  his  want  of  interest,  and  convinced 
him  of  the  Divine  reality  of  experimental  religion. 
Secondly,  he  was  made  to  feel,  as  never  before,  that 
the  great  and  final  conflict  between  evangelical 
truth  and  man-devised  error  was  to  be  fought  out 
on  this  continent  and  in  this  country.  But  he 
added  with  emjjhasis  — 

The    weapons   of    our    warfare  must   not   be 


Study  and  Transition. 


227 


rived 

■esent 

\    the 

kvith  a 

ot  the 

elt,  as 

ssions, 

iiental 

in  was 

epared 

at  two 

him  to 

en  this 

he  saw 
ecom- 
e,  seek 
actice, 
-1,  with 
im    feel 
vinced 
[Cligion. 
re,  that 
gelical 
crht  oat 
But  he 

I  not   be 


carnal — for  I  am  fully  in  accord  with  my  Quaker 
ancestors  on  this  subject — but  mighty  through 
God  to  the  pulling  down  of  strongholds.  It  is  a 
spiritual  conflict,  and  spiritual  weapons  must  be 
used.  It  is  not  that  we  wish  to  spill  blood,  but 
wc  desire  to  dissipate  ignorance,  prejudice,  hard- 
ness of  heart,  until  all  over  these  lands  and  the 
world  there  shall  be  but  one  Shepherd  and  one 
fold.  I,  therefore,  believe  that  the  first  duty  every 
American  owes  to  his  country  and  to  mankind  is 
to  '  seek  the  kingdom  of  God  and  his  righteous- 
ness;  '  that  is,  as  I  understand  it,  to  harmonize  his 
inner  and  outward  life  with  the  remedial  scheme 
of  the  Gospel,  and  to  this  end  he  should  identify 
himself  with  some  branch  of  the  evangelical 
Church.  This  have  I  done  to-day — one  of  the 
brightest  and  best  days  of  my  life." 

As  he  uttered  these  words  Nora's  eyes  sparkled 
with  a  joy  which  she  seemed  utterly  unable  to  re- 
strain, and  she  exclaimed  : — 

"  O !  I  wish  I  could  express  myself  as  some  of 
the  rest  of  you  do.     Yet  I  can  sing, 

'  'Tis  mercy  all,  immense  and  free, 
For,  O  my  God,  it  found  out  me  ! ' 

To  be  saved  from  all  our  sins ;  how  great  is  the 
blessing !     And  then    to  know  that  we  are  saved 


;  I. 


n 


Spiritual   Struggles. 


now,  by  the  blessed  and  positive  witness  of  the 
Holy  Spirit  as  I  feel  it  in  my  heart  to-day !  This 
is  heaven  below.  Don't  think  me  beside  myself, 
for,  like  St.  Paul,  I  am  only  '  speaking  forth  words 
of  soberness  and  truth.'  However,  there  is  still 
a  bitter  ingredient  in  my  cup — not  that  I  had  to 
sacrifice  too  much  to  attain  to  this,  for  one  mo- 
ment's heavenly  bliss,  such  as  I  know,  more  than 
compensates  me  for  the  loss  of  all  things  besides  ; 
but  my  friends,  including  my  dear  mother,  are 
still  in  the  gall  of  bitterness,  and  in  the  bond  of 
iniquity." 

Here,  choking  with  sobs,  she  could  proceed  no 
further,  and  I  requested  the  Professor  to  lead  us 
in  prayer.  Complying,  he  thanked  God  for  what 
his  grace  and  providence  had  done  for  us;  praised 
him  for  the  tokens  of  his  presence  among  us  to 
melt  our  hearts  in  tenderness  toward  the  unsaved, 
and  closed  with  an  earnest  plea,  which  elicited 
several  hearty  aniens,  that  our  dear  friends  might 
soon  be  partakers  of  like  precious  faith  with  us, 
and  that  this  land  might  ere  long  become 
as  the  garden  of  the  Lord.  At  the  close  of 
this  delightful  exercise,  there  being  a  general 
desire  that  I  return  to  my  personal  narrative,  I 
resumed : — 

**  After  becoming  convinced  of  many  errors  in 


of  the 
This 
Tiyself, 
words 
is  still 
had  to 
ne  mo- 
re than 
esides ; 
ler,  are 
ond  of 

:eed  no 
lead  us 
or  what 
praised 
ig  us  to 
nsaved, 
elicited 
s  might 
w^ith  us, 
3ecome 
ose  of 
general 
ative,  I 

rrors  in 


The   Virgin  Mary. 


229 


the  Church,  I  began  to  read  the  Bible,  as  it  seems 
to  me  it  ought  always  to  be  read  if  great  good  is 
desired,  not  to  establish  some  preconceived  theory 
or  dogma,  but  simply  to  learn  the  mind  of  the 
Spirit  who  inspired  it,  or  the  scope  of  truth  in  the 
mind  of  the  sacred  writer.  Influenced  by  such 
an  endeavor  I  began  to  search  and  study.  The 
doctrine  of  images  in  the  churches  was  one  of  the 
first  that  presented  itself  for  review.  I  had  been 
taught  that  we  may  honor  the  images  of  the  saints 
as  well  as  their  relics.  In  her  offices  for  the  dy- 
ing, the  Church  directs  that  a  crucifix  be  often 
looked  upon  and  kissed,  and  that  an  image  of  the 
Virgin  Mary  be  placed  before  the  eyes,  that  re- 
course may  be  had  to  her.  In  all  the  French 
Catechisms  I  have  ever  seen,  the  second  com- 
mandment, namely,  '  Thou  shalt  not  make  unto 
thee  any  graven  image.  .  .  .  Thou  shalt  not  bow 
down  thyself  to  them  nor  serve  them,'  etc.,  is  en- 
tirely omitted." 

"  But  that  must  leave  only  nine  commandments," 
quickly  remarked  Johnnie. 

"  The  Church  has  ingeniously  divided  the  tenth 
commandment  into  two  parts,  thus  preserving  the 
original  number." 

"Such  mutilation  and  rending  of  holy  writ," 
exclaimed  Aunt  Melie,  "  is  dreadful  to  think  of, 


■(■■] 


230 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


I!' I 


and  must  bring  upon  the  Church  which  dares  at- 
tempt it,  the  swift  judgments  of  God  !  " 

"  Think  of  my  own  indignation  toward  a  Church 
that  could  purposely  be  guilty  of  such  gross  per- 
version of  truth,  when  I  found  the  direct  com- 
mand of  God  against  this  practice.  This  mandate 
is  still  further  explained  and  enforced  by  several 
sacred  writers  both  in  the  Old  and  New  Testa- 
ments. It  is  not  enough  that  most  Romish  au- 
thors, including  Dr.  Challoner,  who  covers  nearly 
seven  pages  of  his  book  in  defense  of  this  devo- 
tion, should  say  that  they  do  not  worship  the  im- 
age; this  is  only  pettifogging." 

**  Even  admitting,  for  the  sake  of  the  argument," 
said  the  Professor,  "  that  this  plea  be  true,  it  is 
saying  no  more  than  heathens  generally  claim  for 
themselves.  Most  of  them  assert  that  they  do  not 
worship  the  manikin,  but  the  deity  it  represents. 
So  the  Ephesians  whom  Paul  encountered  on  this 
question  of  idolatry  were  worshipers  of  the  great 
goddess  Diana,  whose  image  was  supposed  to  have 
fallen  down  from  Jupiter.  It  was  the  goddess,  not 
the  image,  which  was  the  object  of  their  homage. 
The  same  was  true  of  the  Athenians,  whose  altar 
or  shrine  was  inscribed  '  To  the  Unknown  God.'  " 

*'Your  remarks  are  pertinent,  Professor,  or 
rather,  brother  in  Christ,  as  I  ought  to  call  you 


The   Virgin  Mary. 


231 


es  at- 

hurch 
s  per- 

com- 
mdate 
everal 
Testa- 
sh  au- 
nearly 

devo- 
he  im- 

Tient," 
,  it  is 
im  for 
do  not 
sents. 
m  this 

great 
3  have 
ss,  not 
)mage. 
e  altar 

od.'" 
or,  or 
11  you 


now.  I  cannot  see  how  the  Romish  Church  can 
be  cx<)nerated  from  the  charge  of  idolatry.  Dr. 
Challoner  endeavors  to  wriggle  out  of  this  dilem- 
ma by  saying  that  '  those  whom  the  Catholics 
honor  with  an  inferior  veneration  for  God's  sake,' 
those  before  whose  images  they  offer  prayers,  'are, 
indeed,  the  ministers  and  servants  of  the  one  true 
God,  while  the  inferior  deities  of  the  heathens 
were  wicked  wretches,  such  as  Mars,  Bacchus, 
Hercules,'"  etc. 

'*  Now  I  aver,"  again  said  the  Professor,  '*  that 
the  only  logical  deduction  that  can  be  drawn  from 
the  doctor's  own  premise  is,  that  Romanism  and 
heathenism  are  two  great  idolatries,  and  that  they 
differ  only  in  degree  ;  Romanism  being  more  ele- 
vated and  refined  in  proportion  as  its  inferior  dei- 
ties are  more  pure  than  those  of  heathenism. 
This  is  not  the  first  time  this  criticism  has  oc- 
curred to  me,  and  though  it  may  seem  severe,  I 
am  sure  it  cannot  be  successfully  obviated." 

"  My  study  of  the  images  of  the  saints  and  their 
relation  to  pure  worship  soon  led  me  to  its  cog- 
nate branch,  namely,  the  prayers  to  the  Virgin 
Mary,  and  to  the  multitude  of  the  saints.  The 
Church  puts  in  the  plea  here  that  she  does  not 
worship  these  sain's,  but  simply  requests  their 
prayers,  as  we   do  each  other's  prayers  on   earth. 


Iili! 


M  I 


i 


I 


232 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


(I'  f  ■  ' 


To  this  point  I  directed  my  examination.  In  tlie 
litanies  to  the  Virgin,  as  found  in  the  prayer-book, 
entitled  'Way  to  Heaven,'*  pages  60  and  574,  she 
is  called  '  Seat  of  Wisdom,  Cause  of  our  Joy,  Ark 
of  the  Covenant,  Gate  of  Heaven,  Morning  Star, 
Refuge  of  Sinners,  Seat  of  the  most  holy  Trinity, 
Image  of  the  Wisdom  of  God,  Dispenser  of  Graces, 
Model  of  all  Perfection,  Source  of  Divine  Love,'  etc. 
In  the  same  book,  page  388,  the  third  of  six  fun- 
damental rules  laid  down  for  the  guidance  of  the 
Archconfraternity  of  the  Holy  and  Immaculate 
Heart  of  Mary,  reads  as  follows  :  '  No  intercession 
is  so  effectual  as  that  of  the  blessed  mother  of 
God;  let  us,  therefore,  seek  it.'  On  page  77  we 
find  this  prayer :  '  O  my  lady,  holy  Mary,  to  thy 
blessed  keeping,  and  to  the  bosom  of  thy  tender 
compassion,  I  commend  my  soul  and  body  this 
day,  every  day,  and  at  the  hour  of  my  departure ; 
all  my  hopes,  my  consolation,  my  anxieties,  and 
miseries,  my  life,  and  the  end  of  my  life,  I  commit 
to  thy  keeping,*  etc.  On  page  389  is  this  :  '  Come, 
O  my  Goul,  prostrate  thyself  at  the  feet  of  Mary  thy 
mother,  and  depart  not  till  she  hath  blessed  thee.' 
On  the  next  page  a  family  is  offered  to  Mary  in 
these  terms :  '  Most  blessed  Virgin,  our  immacu- 
late queen  and  mother,  refuge  and  consolation  of 
*  Approved  by  f  John,  Archbishop  of  New  York. 


Ihe  Virgin  Mary. 


233 


the  distressed,  prostrate  before  thy  throne  with  all 
my  family,  I  choose  thee  as  my  patroness,  my 
mother,  and  my  advocate  with  God.  I  consecrate 
myself  forever,  with  all  that  belongs  to  me,  to  thy 
service.'  Many  similar  passages  might  be  quoted 
from  the  same  book,  to  show  that,  in  the  matter 
of  consecrating  ourselves  and  families  to  her,  Mary 
is  put  in  the  place  of  God  the  P^ather.  She  is  also 
represented  as  God,  sitting  on  a  throne.  In  the 
titles  which  are  given  her,  and  the  inteicession 
attributed  to  her,  she  is  put  in  the  place  of  Christ 
the  Son.  The  artists  of  the  Church  also  repre- 
sent the  woman  instead  of  her  seed,  as  bruising  the 
serpent's  head.  On  page  415,  in  an  article  enti- 
tled '  Divine  Praises,'  arranged  for  choral  respon- 
ses, the  Virgin  occupies  the  place  of  the  Holy 
Ghost.  The  article  runs  as  follows,  and  one  year's 
indulgence  is  granted  for  every  recital : — 

"'Blessed  be  God.' 

"  *  Blessed  be  his  holy  name.' 

" '  Blessed  be  Jesus  Christ,  true  God  and  true 
man.' 

''•Blessed  be  the  name  of  Jesus.' 

'* '  Blessed  be  Jesus  in  the  most  holy  Sacrament 
of  the  altar.' 

'**  Blessed  be   the   great  Mother  of   God,  the 
most  holy  Mary.' 


1( 


I.  f- 


234 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


"  '  Blessed  be  the  name  of  Mary,  Virgin  and 
mother.' 

"  •  Blessed  be  God  in  his  angels  and  in  his 
saints.' " 

"  This  is  not  only  idolatry,"  cried  Aunt  Melie, 
*'but  the  grossest  blasphemy.  It  falls  not  short 
of  what  I  deem  to  be  the  sin  against  the  Holy 
Ghost.  It  makes  me  tremble  with  horror  to 
hear  it !  " 

"  We  need  no  more  proof,"  added  Monsieur  G., 
"  to  fix  upon  Romanists  the  charge  of  worshiping 
the  Virgin  Mary." 

"And  yet,"  I  continued,  "lest  some  one  should 
say  that  this  representation  is  not  complete,  let  me 
turn  to  page  622  of  the  book  just  quoted  for  the 
final  proof  upon  this  subject.  Here  is  a  prayer  with 
this  significant  heading  :  '  To  the  Worshipers  of  the 
most  Blessed  Virgin,  Mother  of  God.'  At  the  close 
of  the  prayer,  in  which  there  is  language  more 
trustful  and  adoring  than  in  any  thing  yet  quoted, 
we  find  these  sentences  in  italics  :  '  So  says  the 
sweet  St.  Bernard.  Worship,  then,  the  Mother  of 
God  in  thy  life,  and  thou  shalt  feel  that  thou  liast 
worshiped  one  who  is  truly  ".  Mother,  in  death  and 
in  all  eternity.  For  to  be  worshiped  and  regarded 
as  a  Mother  is  assuredly  her  delight.  For  that 
she    might    be   the    Mother   and    Mediatress   of 


The  Virgin  Mary. 


235 


the 
with 
the 
lose 
more 
oted, 
the 
r  of 
♦last 
and 
rded 
that 
of 


shiners  it  was  that  she  became  the  Mother  of 
God.' 

"  Imagine  now,  if  you  can,  what  were  my  feel- 
ings, after  having  been  taught  such  doctrines  as 
these,  to  find  directly  opposite  teachings  in  the 
word  of  God.  When  the  Magi  found  the  Naza- 
rene  family  in  the  Bethlehem  manger,  they  wor- 
shiped the  child  only.  So  did  the  shepherds. 
When  the  child  was  lost  at  Jerusalem  at  the  close 
of  the  passover  feast,  Mary  knew  no  more  where 
he  was  than  any  other  mother  would  have  known 
of  her  child.  After  he  entered  his  public  minis- 
try, all  that  Jesus  ever  said  about  his  mother, 
though  couched  in  dutiful  and  respectful  language, 
was  evidently  intended  to  check  every  tendency 
toward  worshiping  her.  For  instance,  when  a  cer- 
tain woman  of  the  company  that  followed  him 
lifted  up  her  voice  and  said  unto  him :  '  Blessed 
is  the  womb  that  bare  thee,  and  the  paps  which 
thou  has  sucked;  '  that  is,  blessed  is  thy  mother, 
he  said,  '  Yea,  rather  blessed  are  they  that  hear 
the  word  of  God,  and  keep  it.'  Christ  is  to  be 
known,  not  after  the  flesh,  but  by  faith  and  love. 

*'  When  the  disciples  besought  Christ  to  teach 
them  to  pray,  he  said,  'When  ye  pray,  say,  Our 
Father  who  art  in  heaven,'  etc.,  and  he  never 
taught  them  any  other   prayer.     How  could   he 


( 1  ■ 


236 


Spiritual   Struggles. 


make  an  omission  so  grave  if  Romanism  be  cor- 
rect? Just  before  his  departure  he  said  to  them  : 
'  Whatsoever  ' — and  this  covered  all  their  possible 
needs  for  the  present  and  for  all  time  to  come — 
*  whatsoever  ye  shall  ask  the  Father  in  my  name, 
he  will  give  it  you.'  All  recorded  prayers  of  the 
apostles  were  addressed  to  the  Deity.  When  on 
the  Isle  of  Patmos,  St.  John  would  have  worshiped 
the  angel  who  made  revelations  to  him,  he  was 
forbidden :  *  See  thou  do  it  not ;  worship  God.' 
How  this  array  of  Scripture  facts,  taught  in  the 
Douay  Bible  as  well  as  in  all  others,  could  be 
reconciled  with  the  teachings  of  the  Church,  was 
more  than  I  could  comprehend.  I  found  here 
a  point-blank  contradiction  which  no  sophistry 
could  remove  nor  obscure." 

"  But  Catholic  priests  plead,"  remarked  Nora, 
"  that  as  our  mothers  are  generally  more  tender 
toward  us  than  our  fathers,  so  the  Virgin  Mother 
is  more  readily  touched  with  the  feeling  of  our 
infirmities  than  is  the  Father."* 

"  O  !  I  know  how  strongly  this  manner  of  put- 
ting the  subject  appeals  to  our  capricious  and 
youthrul  sympathies.  There  is  wonderful  power 
in  woman's  tenderness,  especially  a  mother's.  I 
have  seen  vast  multitudes  melted  into  tears  by 
♦  See  the  prayer-books. 


The  Virgin  Mary. 


2Z7 


the  adroit  and  earnest  priest  who  desired  to  lead 
the  people  to  the  shrines  of  the  Virgin,  especially 
in  her  'novenas,'  or  nine  days'  devotions.  But  to 
the  thoughtful  student  of  the  Bible  such  reason- 
ing is  sophistical  and  silly.  It  presupposes  that 
Mary  is  omnipresent  and  omniscient ;  for  she  must 
be  every-where,  in  order  to  hear  the  prayers  of 
the  scattered  multitudes  that  simultaneously  call 
upon  her ;  and  she  must  know  all  things  to  be  able 
to  read  the  thoughts  of  their  hearts.  But  if  she 
has  these  attributes,  she  is  equal  with  God.  All 
this  is  unscriptural  and  false.  It  further  presumes 
that  one,  at  least,  of  God's  creatures  is  more  per- 
fect in  compassion,  and  more  full  of  mercy,  than 
the  Creator  himself,  which  is  ludicrous  as  well  as 
sacrilegious.  But  keep  in  mind,  Nora,  that  God 
loves  to  be  inquired  of  for  all  the  things  we  need, 
and  that  he  yearns  over  all  his  children  with  a 
comp.npsion  more  tender  and  constant  than  ever 
gushed  even  from  a  loving  mother's  heart.  He 
who  gave  mothers  their  tenderness  must  be  more 
tender  than  they. 

"  '  Every  human  tie  may  perish  ; 

Friend  to  friend  unfaithful  prove  ; 
Mothers  cease  their  own  to  cherish  ; 
Heaven  and  earth  at  last  remove  ; 

But  no  ciianges 
Can  attend  Jehovah's  love.' " 


238 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


"  Indeed,  sir,  I  know  it  now,  but  I  have  not 
always  known  it.  It  scarcely  seems  that  I  am  the 
same  person  I  was  once.  I  seem  to  be  in  a  new 
world.  How  quickly  and  beautifully  my  heart 
now  interprets  what  was  difficult  before.  Truly, 
I  am  a  new  creature  :  *  Old  things  have  passed 
away ;' behold,  all  things  are  become  new!  '  But 
I  fear  that  by  my  ecstatic  outbursts  I  am  inter- 
rupting your  narrative." 

*'  *  Variety  is  the  spice  of  life,'  Nora,"  responded 
Luella,  "and  I'm  sure  we  all  enjoy  this  kind  of 
spicing.  So  don't  borrow  any  trouble  about  it. 
When  God's  love  burns  in  our  hearts,  it  is  often 
difficult  to  keep  from  speaking  or  singing.  And 
yet,  perhaps,  we  would  all  be  glad  to  liear  from 
father  now  if  you  are  through." 

"  Through !  If  I  had  a  thousand  tongues  I 
would  want  them  all  to  sing  my  great  Redeemer's 
praise,  and  even  then  it  seems  as  if  all  eternity 
would  be  too  short  to  tell  the  story  of  Jesus  and 
his  love.     As  we  often  sing, 

" '  More  wonderful  it  seems 

Than  all  the  golden  fancies 
Of  all  our  golden  dreams.' 

"But   really,"   she   continued,   turning  to   me, 
"please  excuse  me  for  delaying  you  so  much." 
"  God  bless  your  soul,  Nora !  "  exclaimed  Blind 


Purgatory, 


239 


Peter.  "  As  the  gardens  of  myrrh  and  sweet 
spices  are  stirred  by  the  soft  zephyrs  of  heaven, 
so  your  inspired  words  move  my  heart  until  it 
sighs  more  solemnly  than  the  harp  of  Erin,  and 
then  sings  as  sweetly  as  the  harp  of  Judah's  royal 
bard." 

On  the  utterance  of  this  poetic  and  religious 
sentiment  it  seemed  as  if  a  Divine  joy  rested  on 
every  one,  and  we  almost  involuntarily  broke  forth 
in  singing  our  grand  doxology  : — 

"  Praise  God,  from  whom  all  blessings  flow  ; 
Praise  him,  all  creatures  here  below  ; 
Praise  him  above,  ye  heavenly  host ; 
Praise  Father,  Son,  and  Holy  Ghost." 

When  the  singing  ceased,  I  said  : — 
"  In  advancing  toward  the  Divine  or  truly  Chris- 
tian life,  I  went  more  slowly  than  most  of  you 
seem  to  have  done.  I  clung  to  old  things  with  an 
almost  dogged  pertinacity,  while  my  great  caution 
suffered  me  to  accept  nothing  new  without  the 
severest  tests.  When  one  doctrine  was  fairly 
wrenched  from  me  by  the  force  of  truth,  another 
would  come  up  for  examination.  Prayers  before 
images  and  to  saints  having  been  disposed  of,  the 
doctrine  of  Purgatory  presented  itself  for  analysis. 
Catholic  authorities  give  this  definition  of  the  doc- 
trine :  *  A  middle  state  of  souls  who  depart  this 


'i^l 


E  k.  p^r 

Hi  1  '''' 

1" 

1 

I    '  1' 

1 ' '  m 

mitm 


'■ :;  ♦ 


240 


Spiritual   Struggles. 


life  in  God's  grace,  yet  not  without  some  lesser 
stains  of  guilt  or  punishment,  which  retard  them 
from  entering  heaven.'     Then  it  is  claimed,  that 

*  such  as  depart  this  life  before  they  have  repented 
of  these  venial  frailties  and  imperfections,  cannot 
be  supposed  to  be  condemned  to  the  eternal  tor- 
ments of  hell,  nor  can  they  go  straight  to  heaven 
in  this  ...ate,  because   the    Scripture   assures  us, 

*  There  shall  not  enter  into  it  any  thing  defiled.'* 
Then  an  attempt  is  made  at  proof  from  Scripture, 
tradition,  and  reason.  So  I  went  to  work  exam- 
ining the  doctrine  by  this  triple  light.  To  my 
astonishment,  I  found  that  the  Bible  makes  no 
such  distinction  as  this  doctrine  implies  between 
what  are  called  mortal  and  venial  sins.  'Sin,' 
says  the  Word,  '  is  the  transgression  of  the  law,' 
and  '  he  who  offends  in  one  point  is  guilty  of  all; ' 
that  is,  every  sin  is  a  violation  of  God's  law,  and 
merits  the  punishment  which  the  law,  as  a  whole, 
inflicts.  Again,  the  Scriptures  recognize  but  two 
general  classes  of  men,  namely,  saints  and  sinners, 
wheat  and  tares,  sheep  and  goats ;  those  who  are 
for  Christ,  and  those  who  are  against  him.     No 


middle 

class 

is 

ever  so 

much   as 

intimated 

in 

them. 

*'  Then  the 

Bible  presents 

but  one  element 

for 

♦  ' 

'  Grounds," 

etc. 

,  p.  46. 

Purgatory. 


241 


the  purging  or  purifying  of  sin  and  uncleanness 
— the  blood  of  Jesus  Christ.  Nowhere  could  I 
find  that  fire,  unless  it  be  used  emblematically  of 
the  Holy  Spirit,  can  cleanse  moral  stains ;  much 
less  can  general  suffering  do  this.  Suffering  may 
mature  graces,  but  cannot  produce  them.  Suffer- 
ing people  are  not  necessarily,  nor  even  generally, 
the  purest  people.  The  angel  said  to  John, 
*  These  are  they  which  came  out  of  great  tribula- 
tion ; '  but  he  does  not  attribute  their  salvation  to 
their  sufferings,  as  the  closing  words  do  show : 
'  and  have  washed  their  robes,  and  made  them 
white  in  the  blood  of  the  Lamb.'  None  in  that 
vast  throng  are  heard  praising  the  flames  of  pur- 
gatory or  the  indulgences  of  the  Church,  but  all 
ascribe  glory  to  the  Lamb.  Furthermore,  the 
Bible  taught  me  that  in  this  life  only  can  sins  be 
loosed  or  forgiven.  '  Behold,  now  is  the  accepted 
time;  behold,  now  is  the  day  of  salvation.*  After 
death  the  order  is,  *  He  that  is  filthy,  or  defiled, 
let  him  be  filthy  still.'  These  are  all  fundamental 
principles  which  cannot  be  gainsaid,  and  they 
all  and  severally  proved  to  me  that  the  doctrine 
of  purgatory  is  a  figment. 

"  Intimately  connected  with  this  doctrine  is  that 
of  indulgences ;  which,  as  latterly  interpreted  by 

the  Church,  *  is  not  a  leave  to  commit  sin,  nor  a 
16 


!» 


242 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


t  'I 


Ai 


pardon  for  sins  to  come,  but  only  a  releasing  of 
the  debt  of  temporal  punishment  which  may  remain 
due  on  account  of  our  sins,  after  the  sins  them- 
selves, as  to  the  guilt  and  eternal  punishment,  have 
been  already  remitted  by  contrition,  confession, 
and  absolution.'  Such  a  doctrine,  as  applied  to 
individual — not  to  national — transgression,  I,  of 
course,  nowhere  found  in  the  Bible.  And  it  is  so 
vaguely  expressed,  even  by  the  best  writers  of  the 
Church,  that  but  few  are  able  to  understand  it. 
But  they  are  made  to  feel  that  there  is  something 
wrong  with  them  for  which  they  can  make  atone- 
ment for  themselves  and  for  others,  by  repeating 
more  prayers  and  performing  more  good  works 
than  are  required  in  the  Scriptures." 

"This  is  curious,"  remarked  Luella,  "that  any 
person  can  do  even  more  than  God  requires,  when 
he  commands  us  to  love  and  serve  him  with  all 
our  heart  and  mind  and  strength.  I  remember 
reading — yes,  it  was  in  our  Sunday-school  lesson 
this  afternoon — that  Jesus  said  to  his  disciples, 
*  When  ye  shall  have  done  all  these  things  which 
are  commanded  you,  say,  We  are  unprofitable 
servants :  we  have  done  that  which  was  our  duty 
to  do.'" 

*'  This  very  passage  made  me  see  the  folly  of 
this  doctrine.     However,  the   Church  so  arranges 


Purgatory. 


243 


ng  of 

smain 

them- 

jhave 

ission, 

lied  to 

I,  of 
it  is  so 
of  the 
;and  it. 
lething 

atone- 
peating 

works 

at  any 
,  when 
Ivith  all 
ember 
lesson 
|sciples, 
which 
ifitable 
r  duty 

klly  of 
Irranges 


her  lists  of  indulgences,  as  you  can  see  in  Way 
to  Heaven,'  page  13,  that  a  devoted  Catholic  can 
gain  a  large  number  of  plenary  indulgences  each 
year,  to  apply  to  the  future  advantage  of  himself 
or  others.  A  plenary  indulgence  is  one  that 
remits  the  full  punishment  due  to  sin,  and  hence 
delivers  the  recipient  fully  and  forever  from  the 
flames  of  purgatory.  But  as  the  Bible  taught  me 
to  look  to  the  Lamb  of  God  alone  for  salvation,  I 
saw  that  this  doctrine  was  only  a  degenerate  off- 
spring of  the  vagary  of  purgatory.  So  much,  then, 
did  I  get  from  the  argument  from  Scripture." 

"  The  argument  from  Tradition,"  added  Mon- 
sieur G.,  "  certainly  fixes  this  innovation  to  a  pe- 
riod some  centuries  after  the  time  of  the  apostles, 
who  were  wholly  innocent,  as  it  appears,  of  any 
such  teaching.  And  no  wonder  the  Church  re- 
sorted to  it  when  ci  e  considers  the  revenues  it 
brings  into  her  coffers.  This  of  itself  shows  where 
the  doctrine  originated.  Here  is  her  costly  mer- 
chandise of  souls.  About  one  dollar  is  the  least 
amount  usually  paid  for  a  low  mass  for  the  dead. 
A  high  mass  is  much  more  expensive,  and  varies 
with  the  ability  of  the  payer  and  the  dignity  of 
the  officiating  clergyman.  The  profligate  Philip 
IV.,  King  of  France,  left  money  for  ten  thousand 
masses  to  be  chanted  for  the  repose  of  his  soul." 


244 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


"I  see  now,"  said  Johnnie,  "why  this  is  called 
the  '  religion  of  money.*  But  it  is  a  new  idea  that 
men  may  buy  with  money  a  seat  in  heaven.  That 
being  the  order,  I  don't  see  much  chance  for  the 
poor ;  and  yet  nearly  all  the  Catholics  that  I  know 
are  poor." 

"  Many  are  made  so  in  this  way,"  I  replied. 
"  Poor  as  was  my  widowed  mother,  she  paid  for 
masses  for  the  repose  of  my  father's  soul  long 
after  his  death,  and  continued  to  ])ray  for  the  same 
object  at  least  ten  years  later.  There  is  scarcely 
a  widow,  however  poor,  that  would  not  go  to  the 
expense  of  at  least  one  mass.  Some  would  sell 
their  own  bedding  and  bread  for  this  purpose,  be- 
fore they  would  leave  their  friends  unassisted  in 
purgatory.  Many  people  agree  by  solemn  cove- 
nant that  the  survivors  shall  pay  for  a  stipulated 
number  of  masses,  and  pray  so  many  years  for 
those  who  first  go  down  to  the  purgatorial  abode. 
I  believe  that  such  an  agreement  existed  between 
my  father  and  mother." 

"  Those  priests  who  are  at  the  bottom  and  the 
top  of  all  that,"  exclaimed  Aunt  Melie,  "are  per- 
fectly described  by  the  great  Teacher  when  he 
said,  *  Woe  unto  you !  for  ye  devour  widows* 
houses,  and  for  a  pretense  make  long  prayers.*  I 
can  find  no  language  to  express  my  indignation  ! 


.lied 
that 
rhat 
r  the 
know 

plied, 
.d  for 
I  long 
;  same 
arcely 
to  the 
Id  sell 
se,  be- 
,ted  in 
cove- 
lulated 
rs  for 
abode, 
tween 

Ind  the 
:e  per- 
len  he 
ddows' 

irs.'     I 
lation ! 


Purgatory. 


245 


They  arc  blind  guides,  leading  the  blind  into  the 
ditch." 

"  But  I  am  not  quite  through  with  my  work.     I 
must  give  you  my  argument  from  Reason.     This 
taught  me  that  if  purgatory  had  been   established 
by  the  Lord,  he  would  have  regulated  its  internal 
affairs  himself;    but  now  the  priests  dictate  the 
terms  upon  which   men  may  escape   its  tortures, 
and  this  shows  whose  establishment  it  is.     Reason 
further  taught  me  that,   if  account  were  made  of 
the  vast  number  of  masses  for  the  dead,  and  the 
endless  grant  of  indulgences,  supposing  there  were 
any  truth  in  the  doctrine,  purgatory  must  long  ago 
have  been   completely   emptied  of  its  souls,  and 
made  a  void.     And   yet   the  people  continue   to 
pray  and  pay,  and  the  priest  continues  to  take  the 
money  and  to  say  the  masses !     But  the  stamp  of 
error,  not  to  say  of  deception,  was  put  upon  the 
dogma  when  reason   presented  it  to  me   in  this 
light :     Suppose  that  I  saw  one  of  my  fellow-men 
drowning  or  in  flames,  and  standing  near,  should 
cry  to  him,  '  Pay  me  money  and  I  will  help  you, 
but    otherwise   I  will    leave   you    to    your  fate.' 
What  would  you  think  of  me .?  " 

"  Heartless  !  Villainously  criminal  you  surely 
would  be,"  responded  Luella,  with  an  energy  al- 
most unnatural  to  her. 


246 


Spiritual  Struggles 


"  What,  then,  could  be  my  thoughts  and  feelings 
toward  a  Church  that  legislates  the  vast  multitude 
of  her  members  into  purgatorial  flames,  and  leaves 
them  there  unless  the  dead  have  left  her  money 
by  bequest,  or  their  friends  rally  to  their  aid  with 
open  purse  ?  " 

"And  yet  this  is  the  Church,"  added  the  Pro- 
fessor, "  that  says  to  the  world,  '  I  am  the  only  true 
Church  of  God;  apostolical  in  succession,  infalli- 
ble in  doctrine,  holy  in  practice  !  '  " 

"  If  there  be  truth  in  her  teaching  and  power 
in  her  prayers,"  asked  Luella,  "why  don't  she  try 
her  skill  first  upon  her  living  subjects,  and  then, 
whether  she  succeeds  or  fails,  if  she  thinks  best 
to  pray  for  the  dead,  do  so  every  day  without 
pay  ?  " 

"  She  does  condescend,"  I  replied,  "  to  say 
masses  for  the  dead  gratuitously  one  day  in  the 
year — on  All-Souls'  day,  the  second  of  November." 

"  Thanks  !  Thanks  !  "  cried  several  voices, 
and  Aunt  Melie  continued  by  saying  :  "  This  is 
quite  relieving.  Crumbs  are  better  than  no  bread 
at  all.  There  is  some  hope  of  a  Church  that  con- 
sents to  pray  for  her  needy  children  one  day  in 
the  year  without  special  pay !  " 

"  Your  sarcasm  does  not  half  express  the  feel- 
ings that  were  in  my  heart  when  I  saw  this  subject 


Purgatory.  ^47 

in  its  true  light.  At  tins  p„i,u  of  my  investigation 
I  was  completely  cut  lo„se  from  Romar,ism-  for 
every  faculty  of  my  soul  rejected  these  abhorrent 
teachings,  and  I  could  not  conscientiously  affiliate 
with  those  who  taught  or  believed  them  " 

With  the  close  of  this  discussion  the  time  had 
come  to  disperse. 


I 


248 


Spiritual   Struggles. 


XIV. 

DANGER  AND  RESCUE — INFIDELITY  AND  ITS 

CURE. 

Marvel  not  that  I  said  unto  thee,  Ye  must  be  born  again.— 

The  Master, 

ON  meeting  again  to-day,  where  we  found  our 
entire  company  except  Blind  Peter,  the  Pro- 
fessor, anticipating  the  chaos  into  which  I  must 
have  plunged  on  losing  all  confidence  in  the  Rom- 
ish Church,  inquired  how  my  mind  was  affected 
by  the  change. 

"  Danr  er,"  I  replied,  "  attends  every  change  in 
life,  from  the  cradle  to  the  grave.  Even  the  sea- 
sons as  they  succeed  each  other  generally  occa- 
sion vast  commotion  in  the  elements  and  fearful 
storms.  This  is  especic.'ly  true  in  mental  and 
moral  transitions.  '  Changes  and  war  are  against 
me,'  exclaimed  the  old  patriarch  Job,  and  even  I 
was  not  exempt  from  a  similar  experience.  At 
first  I  yielded  to  a  dull  despair  which  tended  to 
blank  infidelity !  All  the  hope  of  heaven  I  had 
ever  entertained  had  been  founded  upon  Roman- 
ism. As  the  errors  and  follies  of  the  system  passed 
before  me,  my  hope  dissolved  like  frost-work  on 


Danger  and  Rescue. 


249 


the  window-panes  in  the  sunbeams  until  all  was 
gone !  In  consequence  I  found  myself  losing  all 
confidence  in  men.  From  childhood  my  best 
teachers,  including  my  parents,  had  deceived  me, 
whether  willfully  or  ignorantly  made  but  little 
difference.  Whom  now  could  I  trust  ?  Would 
strangers  be  more  true  than  friends  had  been  ? 
Dread  distrust  and  black  misanthropy  were  creep- 
ing in  upon  me.  In  my  haste,  like  one  of  old,  I 
said,  '  All  men  are  liars,'  and  '  none  really  care  for 
my  soul.'  Religion  began  to  appear  to  me  an 
ugly,  mocking  mummery;  a  monstrous  priestcraft, 
dwarfing  the  intellects  of  men  by  repressing  true 
education  and  culture,  by  proclaiming  a  false  phi- 
losophy and  corrupt  ethics,  and  by  making  prom- 
ises it  could  never  fulfill.  It  was  to  me  a  filthy 
harpy,  which  soiled  what  it  did  not  devour." 

"This  was  the  terrible  yet  natural  rebound  from 
one  extreme  to  the  other,"  added  th«  Professor. 
" '  The  mind  of  communities,'  says  an  American 
author,  '  touches  both  extremes  before  it  settles 
down  at  the  intermediate  point  of  truth.'  History 
shows  that  the  enlightenment  of  Catholic  peoples 
has  always  had  infidelity  for  its  immediate  fruit. 
Witness  France,  with  her  Volney  and  Voltaire,  and 
her  *  Reign  of  Terror.'  Most  of  the  educated 
classes    in    all     Catholic     countries    to-day    are 


250 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


i  ' 


H  ■    1 


evidently  infidel  at  heart.  And  yet  those  who  have 
vibrated  so  far  from  the  '  central  point  of  bliss,'  as 
our  author  intimates,  have  often  rested  at  last, 
at  the  '  golden  mean'  where  they  have  found  what 
neither  meaningless  mummeries  on  the  one  hand, 
nor  blind  infidelity  on  the  other,  could  furnish." 

"Indeed,  God  in  his  great  mercy  did  not  leave 
me  in  my  blindness  and  misery  to  perish.  He 
gave  me  burdens  only  as  I  could  bear  them,  and 
blessings  only  as  I  could  appropriate  and  enjoy 
them.  When  I  began  to  mutter  this  dirge-like 
song  of  doubt — 

"  '  There  is  no  good  ;  there  is  no  God  ; 
And  Faith  is  a  heartless  cheat, 
Who  bares  the  back  for  the  Devil's  rod, 
And  scatters  thorns  for  the  feet ' — 

I  advanced  to  the  very  verge  of  the  yawning  abyss 
of  skepticism,  but  was  driven  back  by  its  horrify- 
ing darkness  and  terror !  My  religious  nature 
would  somehow  cling  to  a  belief  in  a  Supreme 
Being,  the  First  Great  Cause,  the  Father  of  the 
race.  '  Then,'  I  reasoned,  *  if  there  be  a  God, 
he  must  in  some  way  have  revealed  his  will  to  his 
children,  as  in  the  Bible,  for  instance,  and  there 
must  be  some  organization  on  earth  which,  in  the 
main,  at  least,  embodies  and  illustrates  this  teach- 
in,  '     Thus   convinced,   I  was  led  to  attend  the 


Danger  and  Rescue. 


251 


lere 
the 
:h- 
the 


services  of  the  different  churches  in  the  village  of 
Keeseville,  and  by  this  means  to  the  discovery 
that  the  various  Protestant  denominations  are 
essentially  one,  differing  only,  perhaps,  as  the 
strings  of  a  harp  differ  from  each  other,  and  yet 
are  all  needed  to  give  to  music  its  grandest  power 
and  harmony. 

"  One  Sabbath  I  went  to  the  Methodist  Church, 
and,  to  my  surprise,  I  found  the  Baptist  preacher 
in  the  pulpit,  by  exchange.  This  produced  a  very 
salutary  influence  upon  my  mind.  And  then  the 
fact  that  these  services  supplied  the  food  for  which 
my  spirit  hungered  was  another  evidence  of  truth 
in  these  Churches,  such  as  abstract  reasoning 
could  not  well  give  me. 

"On  Sunday  evening,  November  6,  1853,  after 
attending  several  services,  I  returned  to  my  room 
with  more  than  an  ordinary  degree  of  religious 
thoughtfulness.  I  sat  down  to  write  my  journal 
for  the  day.  Fearing  that,  in  case  any  one  should 
ever  read  these  lines,  he  might  be  at  a  loss  to  ac- 
count for  my  instability  as  to  the  place  where  I  went 
for  public  worship,  I  undertook  to  give  my  reasons 
in  the  following  manner :  '  When  at  home,  I  was 
brought  up  in  the  strictest  observance  of  Roman- 
ism. A  few  years'  experience  in  a  Protestant  land 
has  wrought   a   great   change    in    me.     I   am  now 


252 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


'§■;!* 


f  ' 


convinced  that  my  former  faith  and  practice  are 
fundamentally  unscriptural,  at  least  in  their  spirit 
and  application  to  soul-saving ;  and  I  have  come 
to  the  conclusion  that,  ere  I  follow  any  religious 
leaders,  I  must  first  ascertain  whether  I  am  led  by 
the  blind,  or  by  those  who  have  eyes  and  see. 
This  prompts  me  to  make  careful  investigation, 
and  to  wander  from  church  to  church,  until  I  find 
the  *  Good  Shepherd's  '  fold.  O  !  how  I  long  to  be 
freed  from  this  fearful  mist  of  uncertainty,  and  to 
find  that  rest  which  my  soul  has  never  known. 
Such  wanderings  as  these  torture  me,  and  here  and 
now  I  pray  for  guidance  and  deliverance.  I  know 
I  can  do  nothing  of  myself  toward  coming  to  God, 
but  may  he  help  and  save  me.  My  determina- 
tion is  so  strong  that,  if  I  find  I  must  renounce 
my  former  faith  for  another,  though  it  bring  upon 
me  censure  from  all  my  relatives,  I  shall  pledge 
myself  and  bind  my  heart.  This,  however,  is  a 
difficult  question  to  settle.  I  have  a  tender  mother 
whom  I  love.  O  !  how  soon  would  she  be  brought 
with  sorrow  to  the  grave  if  I  should  warder  from 
the  teachings  she  has  so  laboriously  imparted 
to  me.  Apprehensive  of  this,  she  has  already 
mourned  and  wept.  During  my  last  visit  to  her 
she  pleaded  with  me  with  many  earnest  words  and 
scalding  tears.    (1  weep  while   I  record  it.)    How 


!'     I 


Danger  and  Rescue. 


253 


e  are 

spirit 

come 

gioiis 

ed  by 

1  see. 

ation, 

I  find 
to  be 

md  to 

nown. 

re  and 

;  know 

iGod, 
raina- 
ounce 
upon 
pledge 
is  a 
1  other 
rough  t 
from 
)arted 
Iready 
Ito  her 
is  and 
How 


could  I  treat  her  so  ill  ?  No !  I  will  not.  So 
long  as  she  lives  I  cannot  publicly  profess  such 
a  change,  whatever  resolves  I  may  carry  in  my 
breast.* 

"  At  this  point  in  my  record  my  tears  were  blind- 
ing me,  and  falling  fast  upon  the  memorable  page. 
I  laid  down  my  pen,  not  knowing  what  to  do.  My 
heart  was  overwhelmed  with  sadness.  I  was 
alone !  Soon,  moved  as  by  a  Divine  impulse,  I 
seized  my  little  Bible  and  the  candle,  and  going 
to  my  bed-side  I  knelt,  and  resolved  to  read  what- 
ever chapter  the  book  should  open  at.  I  then 
read  and  prayed  and  wept  in  succession  for  some 
time." 

"  Do  you  remember  what  passage  you  happened 
to  find  .'* "  asked  Johnnie,  whose  cheeks  were  be- 
dewed with  tears. 

"  I  cannot  well  forget  it.  The  evening  inter- 
view of  Nicodemus  with  Jesus  especially  attracted 
my  attention.  The  more  I  read  and  studied  it, 
the  more  interested  I  became.  Like  Nicodemus 
I  felt  I  was  holding  intercourse  with  the  Master, 
and  like  him  I  was  confounded  with  the  spirit- 
uality and  depth  of  his  teaching.  I  was  made  to 
see  and  feel  that  my  religion  had  been  a  mere 
shell — a  superficial  and  generally  defective  form, 
without   power.     This   was   especially   true   with 


254 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


regard  to  my  prayers,  and  with  most  of  the  relig- 
ious services  1  had  performed  in  church.  For 
these  were  in  Latin,  so  that  they  were  necessarily 
repeated  much  as  a  parrot  might  do  it.  The  same 
was  true  with  regard  to  my  previous  views  of  the 
Lord's  Supper,  I  had  been  taught  that  I  must 
eat  the  body  of  my  Lord,  in  the  same  manner  in 
which  ordinary  bread  is  eaten." 

"Why,  father,"  remarked  Luella,  "wouldn't 
that  be  worse  cannibalism  than  savages  are  guilty 
of.-*  They  eat  the  flesh  of  their  fellows,  but  we 
never  read  of  their  eating  the  flesh  of  their  gods  !  " 

"  Of  this  you  must  judge  for  yourself.  But  I 
began  to  see  the  meaning  of  Christ's  words  when 
he  said,  '  Your  fathers  did  eat  manna,'  as  other 
food  is  eaten,  'in  the  wilderness  and  are  dead.* 
Then,  speaking  of  himself,  he  said,  *  This  is  that 
bread  which  came  down  from  heaven :  not  as 
your  fathers  did  eat  manna,'  that  is,  not  in  the 
same  way  of  eating  with  the  gross  organs  of  the 
body,  '  not  as  your  fathers  did  eat  manna  and  are 
dead :  he  that  eateth  of  this  bread  shall  live  for- 
ever.' This  bread,  then,  I  saw,  was  spiritual  bread, 
and  must  be  partaken  of  spiritually  and  not  phys- 
ically. For  Paul  says,  'There  is  a  natural  body, 
and  there  is  a  spiritual  body.'  It  is  the  spiritual 
body  of  Christ  which  we  are  to  eat  by  faith.     And 


Danger  and  Rescue. 


255 


my  conclusion  was  confirmed  by  that  saying  of 
Jesus :  '  The  words  that  I  speak  unto  you,  they 
are  spirit  and  they  are  life.'  I  further  discovered 
that  '  eating  his  flesh  and  drinking  his  blood  '  was 
synonymous  with  '  believing  on  him,'  for  to  both 
he  attaches  the  same  result.  Thus,  *  he  that  be- 
lieveth  on  me  hath  everlasting  life,'  and  *  whoso 
eateth  my  flesh  and  drinketh  my  blood  hath  eter- 
nal life.'  The  Revelator  represents  Christ  as  say- 
ing, *  Behold,  I  stand  at  the  door,  and  knock  :  if 
any  man  hear  my  voice,  and  open  the  door,  I  will 
come  in  to  him,  and  will  sup  with  him,  and  he  with 
me.'  Paul  explains  this  by  saying,  '  That  Christ 
may  dwell  in  your  hearts  by  faith.'  Again  :  '  Christ 
liveth  in  me,  and  the  life  which  I  now  live  in  the 
flesh  I  live  by  the  faith  of  the  Son  of  God,  who 
loved  me  and  gave  himself  for  me.*  I  saw,  too, 
that  this  saving  faith  is  the  most  simple,  and  yet 
the  most  mighty,  thing  known  upon  earth.  For 
Christ  said  to  Nicodemus,  *  And  as  Moses  lifted 
up  che  serpent  in  the  wilderness,'  so  that  the  dying 
Heiirews  simply  looking  upon  it  might  be  healed 
— an  historic  event  which  Nicodemus  well  under- 
stood— *  even  so  must  the  Son  of  man  be  lifted 
up,  that  whosoever  believeth  in  him,'  or  looketh 
unto  him,  though  from  the  uttermost  parts  of  the 
earth,  'should  not  perish,  but  have  eternal  life.' 


|i: 


: 


I' 


:' 


256 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


"  But  it  was  in  regard  to  this  subject  of  being 
*  born  again,'  or  *  from  above,'  that  my  superficial- 
ity was  especially  noticeable.  I  had  always  been 
taught  that  the  baptism  of  water  had  made  me  a 
Christian,  that  is,  that  I  was  born  again,  or  regen- 
erated, at  the  time  and  in  virtue  of  my  baptism. 
This,  I  saw,  was  giving  to  the  term  water,  which 
is  ''  d  but  once  in  this  wonderful  dialogue,  alto- 
geiher  too  much  prominence.  I  now  realized  that 
it  was  used  as  a  mere  symbol  of  the  cleansing  and 
refreshing  influences  of  the  Spirit  upon  the  truly 
born  again;  just  as  fire  in  John  the  Baptist's 
prophecy,  'He  shall  baptize  you  with  the  Holy 
Ghost  and  with  fire,'  is  evidently  not  to  be  inter- 
preted literally,  but  as  presenting  the  vivifying  and 
enlightening  power  of  the  Spirit  upon  those  whom 
Christ  saves.  I  was  made  to  feel  that  this  re- 
creation was  the  special  work  of  the  Holy  Ghost, 
as  mysterious  as  the  conception  of  Christ  had 
been,  which  no  man  could  explain  any  more  than 
Nicodemus  could  tell  whence  came,  or  whither 
went,  the  winds.  '  For  so  is  every  one  that  is  born 
of  the  Spirit.'  This  change,  I  saw,  is  as  necessary 
as  it  is  wonderful.  This  is  evident  from  the  ab- 
rupt manner  of  Christ's  question  to  Nicodemus,  as 
well  as  by  the  matter  of  it.  As  there  can  be  no 
physical  life  without  a  physical  birth,  so  I  saw  that 


Danger  and  Rescue. 


257 


there  could  be  no  spiritual  life  without  a  spiritual 
birth.  *That  which  is  flesh  is  flesh,  and  that 
which  is  spirit  is  spirit ; '  each  created  and  sub- 
sisting by  agencies  and  laws  peculiarly  its  own. 
But  the  crowning  interest  in  my  study  of  the  pas- 
sage was  reached  when  I  found  that  this  radical 
change  was  to  be  divinely  attested ;  that  it  might 
be  as  clearly  known  and  felt  as  Nicodemus  felt 
the  passing  breeze,  the  Holy  Ghost  bearing  wit- 
ness with  our  spirit  that,  though  once  enemies  of 
God  and  children  of  wrath,  now  we  are  children 
of  God,  'born  by  a  new  celestial  birth,'  and  *  heirs 
of  immortality.'  If  I  would  enjoy  this  inestimable 
blessing,  I  saw  that  I  must  not  be  ashamed  of 
Christ,  but  must  come  out  of  darkness  into  the 
light,  and  look  to  him  alone  for  the  recreating 
power.  Several  hours  of  the  night  passed  away 
in  these  solemn  meditations ;  and  I  finally  retired, 
but  more  to  think  and  weep  and  pray  than  to 
sleep.  From  that  time  to  this  I  have  not  ceased 
to  read  and  study  the  Bible  on  my  knees,  while 
looking  to  God  with  the  prayer  of  the  psalmist : 
'  Open  thou  mine  eyes  that  I  may  behold  won- 
drous things  out  of  thy  law.* 

"  This  nightly  interview  with  Jesus  and  almost 
vision  of  divine  things  gave  a  pleasing  check  to 
my  skeptical  tendencies.     The  Sabbath  following, 


2^8 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


I  made  this  entry  in  my  journal :  *  Were  it  possi- 
ble for  me  to  give  an  adequate  idea  of  my  present 
state  of  mind,  volumes  might  be  filled.  But  time 
will  not  permit  me  to  say  more  than  this :  I  will 
seek  salvation  though  a  thousand  worlds  oppose !  * 
This  resolution  greatly  stimulated  me,  and  seemed 
to  sweep  away  every  barrier  that  obstructed  my  way. 
"  On  the  twenty-first  of  November  I  began  to 
teach  school  where  I  had  taught  the  previous  win- 
ter, near  the  village  of  Clintonville.  There,  in  the 
personal  piety  and  influence  of  one  of  the  citizens 
of  the  district,  Mr.  James  Mace,  whose  religion 
was  not  a  mere  profession,  nor  a  routine  of  duties 
mechanically  performed,  but  the  golden  thread 
that  made  the  warp  and  woof  of  his  every  day  life, 
I  found  the  next  great  help  to  rescue  me  from  un- 
belief, and  to  guide  me  to  the  Saviour.  I  am  sure 
that  a  holy  life  is  one  of  God's  brightest  beacon 
lights  in  this  lower  world,  mighty  to  confound  infi- 
delity, and  to  establish  the  kingdom  of  the  Re- 
deemer. This  man's  conversation  and  manners 
at  home  and  abroad — for  I  was  much  in  his 
company — not  only  instructed  and  delighted  me, 
but  led  me  to  the  conclusion  that  he  was  in  pos- 
session of  a  precious  something  to  which  I  was  a 
stranger.  O,  how  I  longed  to  know  the  secret 
of  his  joys ! 


<r^  ■ 


Danger  and  Rescue, 


259 


*'  Through  his  means  I  was  invited  to  take  a 
class  in  the  Sunday-school  at  Clintonville.  After 
some  hesitation  and  study — for  I  felt  incompetent 
to  the  task,  having  never  belonged  to  such  an  in- 
stitution even  as  a  scholar — I  consented  to  do  so. 
This  brought  me  nearer  the  warm  heart  of  the 
Church,  and  made  the  more  careful  study  of  the 
Bible,  by  means  of  maps  and  commentaries,  a 
necessity.  Thus  my  mental  and  moral  faculties 
were  drawn  out  and  developed  side  by  side,  and 
in  about  equal  proportion.  With  the  closing  days 
of  the  year  a  series  of  extra  meetings  began  in  the 
church,  under  the  pastoral  labors  of  Rev.  Benja- 
min Pomeroy.  For  several  days,  though  an  inter- 
ested attendant  upon  the  services,  I  took  no  active 
part.  But  I  was  strangely  attracted  to  the  meet- 
ings. *  No  wonder,'  I  wrote  in  my  journal,  '  the 
lamb  loves  the  grassy  mead  where  it  feeds,  and  the 
sparkling  fountain  where  it  may  daily  quench  its 
thirst.'  My  spiritual  nature  was  being  disencum- 
bered of  superstition,  and  my  eyes  enlightened  to 
see  the  path  of  duty.  One  evening,  after  returning 
from  the  church,  I  wrote  the  following  stanzas : — 

.  '* '  'Tis  sweet  to  hold  converse  with  Him, 
Who  holds  us  in  his  power; 
'Tis  sweet  to  yield  our  soul  to  him, 
In  night's  serenest  hour. 


r 


i 

ii  f 

jj 

■•*il 


260  Spiritual  Struggles. 


<(  i  * 


Tis  then  His  spirit  draweth  nigh 
And  folds  us  to  his  breast ; 

He  wipes  the  tears  from  sorrow's  eye, 
And  gives  the  spirit  rest.' 


My  heart  was  in  a  constant  spirit  of  prayer,  de- 
siring to  be  led  by  the  wisdom  of  God  alone.  I 
was  not  yet  converted,  or  'born  again,'  and  yet  it 
seemed  as  if  but  one  step  more  would  bring  me 
to  the  desired  goal.  One  night  I  had  a  strange 
dream,  which  quite  fully  explained  my  condition. 
The  next  day  I  tried  to  express  it  m  poetry ;  and 
though  my  effort  may  lack  many  of  the  elements 
of  polished  verse,  you  will,  I  hope,  excuse  the 
style,  and  treasure  up  its  substance  while  I  read 
it  from  my  journal."  1  then  took  my  third  vol- 
ume, from  which  I  read  as  follows  : — 


(t  ( 


I  dreamed  that  from  this  world  I  flew, 
Through  airy  tides  and  sky  of  blue ; 
That  angels  lent  me  wings  of  light 
To  bear  me  onward  in  my  flight. 


"  *  The  more  I  rose  above  the  earth, 
The  more  my  spirit  neared  its  birth ; 
For  angels  told  me  of  a  love 
That  only  reigns  supreme  above. 


(( ( 


(( < 


Danger  and  Rescue.  261 

Up,  up,  we  rose  through  deep  expanse 
Till  worlds  of  light  around  did  glance. 
And  all  the  sky  began  to  blaze, 
Filling  my  soul  with  dread  amaze. 

This  blaze  was  not  from  scorching  fire, 
Nor  of  the  Father's  kindled  ire— 
But  'twas  of  Love's  own  purest  glow, 
Such  love  as  ne'er  is  found  below. 


(( ( 


(( ( 


(( ( 


Faint  grew  my  heart— dazzled  my  sight- 
My  spirit  trembled— gone  its  might- 
Yet  in  despair  I  raised  a  cry, 
Whose  echo  shook  the  very  sky : 

O,  God !  I  ne'er  can  see  thy  face, 
Unless  my  heart  be  purged  by  grace ! 
And  now  to  earth  I  fall— I  fall— 
O !  send  thy  angels  to  my  call. 

With  startled  pace  quick  flew  my  guide, 
Who  instantly  stood  by  my  side, 
And  aided  my  return  to  earth, 
Where  my  soul  must,  in  time,  have  birth. 


"  *  All  ye  who  Christian  faith  pretend, 
Leave  all  things  else— to  this  attend  : 


m 


w 


!7i 

ii 


u    i«.7^. 


262  Spiritual  Struggles. 

O  !  seek  the  kingdom,  first,  of  heaven — 
The  grace  through  faith  in  Christ  now  given. 


(( ( 


For  if  your  flight  too  soon  should  come, 
You  cannot  reach  that  blessed  home, 
For  God  will  not  have  aught  to  do 
With  hearts  not  good,  nor  pure,  nor  true. 


>  f> 


With  the  recitation  of  this  simple  yet  impress- 
ive dream  and  its  moral,  our  interview  closed. 


■'■■;f  ■  i.- 


Resting  at  Last. 


263 


XV. 

RESTING  AT  LAST THE  ALTAR — SAVING  FAITH. 

But  what  things  were  gain  to  me,  those  I  counted  loss  for 
Christ.  Yea  doubtless,  and  I  count  all  things  but  loss  for  the 
excellency  of  the  knowledge  of  Christ  Jesus  my  Lord.— /'^m/. 

I  ^HE  week  had  been  full  of  trials  to  our  faith 
-■-  and  patience,  especially  Nora's,  But  like  the 
oak  in  storms,  these  virtues  had  taken  deeper  root. 
Several  attempts,  most  ingeniously  planned,  had 
been  made  to  remove  her  from  us,  but  in  vain. 
Here  is  a  specimen.  One  day  a  close  carriage 
was  driven  to  the  gate,  from  which  alighted  a  gen- 
tleman of  middle  age,  who  proved  to  be  one  of 
Nora's  brothers,  a  sea-captain,  whom  she  had  not 
seen  for  many  years,  and  scarcely  recognized. 
He  was  greeted  with  great  cordiality  and  friend- 
ship by  her,  and  introduced  to  the  family.  After 
considerable  chatting  on  various  topics,  Nora, 
whose  heart  is  always  glowing  with  her  new-found 
hope,  and  full  of  the  priceless  enjoyment  o"  the 
pure  and  undefiled  religion  of  the  Bible,  tc_  her 
brother,  in  a  child-like  and  touching  manner,  the 
story   of   her    conversion    to    Jesus,   and  of   her 


w 


BBB 


I  ) 


264 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


membership  in  a  Protestant  Church.  He  was  evi- 
dently moved  by  the  fervent,  straightforward  narra- 
tive, but  affected  never  to  have  heard  of  it  before. 
Then  he  suggested  that,  as  he  was  very  anxious 
to  hear  more  of  these  interesting  particulars,  if 
slie  would  get  ready  and  go  with  him  to  a  neigh- 
boring city,  whither  his  business  called  him,  she 
could  relate  her  beautiful  experience  more  fully 
during  the  few  hours  of  their  ride.  Otherwise  he 
would  not  be  able  to  visit  much  longer,  for  he  must 
soon  be  going.  Plausible  as  all  this  appeared, 
Nora  was  not  inclined  to  accept  the  invitation  with- 
out probing  the  matter  a  little  more  deeply.  Had 
it  been  the  firs"  attempt,  and  had  no  threats  of 
abduction  ever  been  made,  it  undoubtedly  would 
have  succeeded.  But  birds  are  seldom  caught 
the  second  time  in  the  same  snare,  though  its  ap- 
pearance be  ever  so  much  changed  or  disguised. 
Seeing  that  his  proposition  was  not  acceptable,  he 
grew  a  little  restless,  and  finally  said  he  must  go, 
but  that  he  had  reserved  the  best  news  for  the 
last.  He  then  told  Nora  that  Providence  had 
given  him  favoring  breezes ;  that  during  the 
Franco-Prussian  war  he  had  acquired  a  princely 
fortune  while  navigating  the  waters  of  the  con- 
tending parties;  that  he  had  just  purchased  a 
palatial  residence   in   New  York  for  their  father, 


'■ 


Resting  at  Last. 


265 


le 
ro. 


he 

plv 

n- 

a 


I 


whose  declining  years  should  be  relieved  of  the 
shame  and  want  resulting  from  former  misfortunes ; 
and  that  now  he  was  ready  to  settle  a  munificent 
annuity  upon  his  brothers  and  sisters  who  were 
willing  to  spend  the  remainder  of  their  lives 
together  in  the  metropolis.  To  corroborate  his 
statement,  he  exhibited  deeds  of  the  property  re- 
cently purchased ;  and  his  pocket-book  revealed 
that  he  was  not  a  stranger  to  gold  and  its  equiva- 
lents in  large  amounts. 

Nora  looked  on  him  for  a  few  moments  in  mute 
astonishment.  Then  straightening  herself  up  into 
a  majestic  attitude,  and  gazing  upon  him  with  her 
deep-blue  eyes,  which,  especially  when  she  was 
greatly  moved,  would  remind  one  of  the  ozure  of 
the  sky  when  the  clouds  have  just  been  reft,  she 
said : — 

"  Brother," — and  there  was  such  pathos  in  her 
tone  that  it  seemed  to  pierce  his  heart — "  you 
compel  me  to  look  ^pon  your  gold  as  a  bribe  to 
draw  me  away  from  Jesus,  and  to  bring  me  back 
to  the  yoke  and  heavy  burden  of  former  years — a 
burden  which  neither  our  fathers  nor  we  were  able 
to  endure.  But,  my  dear  brother,"  and  tears  gushed 
from  her  eyes  and  dripped  down  her  long  lashes  as 
she  repeated  the  tender  word,  "  I  have  found  purer 
gold  than  you  possess — it  is  *  the  gold  tried  in  the 


266 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


'■  1 

t 

li 
r 

I  '- 

i\..:i,.  '. 

fire,'  and  I  am  heir  of  a  finer  mansion  than  you 
have  purchased,  even  a  mansion  in  heaven,  while 
the  blessings  I  receive  are  vastly  better  than  an- 
nuities, for  every  moment  they  perfectly  satisfy 
my  wants  and  longings,  filling  my  heart  with  a  joy 
which  no  language  can  express.  And  all  this 
comes  from  my  being  the  willing  bride  of  Him  to 
whom  are  all  things,  and  who  is  to  me  a  Friend 
that  sticketh  closer  than  a  brother.  I  trust  that 
you  will  see  that  my  course  is  the  result  of  deep 
conviction,  and  also  of  an  inward  experience 
which  daily  grows  more  bright  and  satisfactory. 
Henceforth  my  song  shall  be  — 

*' '  Jesus,  I  my  cross  have  taken, 

All  to  leave  and  follow  thee  ; 
Naked,  poor,  despised,  forsaken, 

Thou,  from  hence,  my  all  shalt  be. 
Perish,  every  fond  ambition — 

All  I've  sought,  or  hoped,  or  known  : 
Yet  how  rich  is  my  condition — 

God  and  heaven  are  still  my  own  ! ' " 

This  unexpected  gush  of  eloquence,  and  touch- 
ing exhibition  of  pure  devotion  to  Christ,  fell  upon 
the  captain  like  a  storm  upon  an  unballasted  ves- 
sel, and  tears,  unbidden,  trickled  down  his  sun- 
tanned cheeks.  Recovering  himself  from  the  first 
and  almost  overpowering  shock,  he  stepped  forward, 
caught  Nora  in  his  brawny  arms,  and  embraced 


I ,'   '. 


Resting  at  Last.  267 

her  with  the  tenderness  of  a  child.     Human  love, 
purified  and  intensified  by  Divine  love,  had  con- 
quered him.     While  thus  caressing  her,  he  told  her 
that,  instigated  and  urged  by  their  parents  and  the 
parish  priest,   he   had  come  to  spirit  her  away,  if 
she  could  be  induced  to  enter  his  carriage.     He 
then  humbly  begged  her  to  forgive  him  for  having 
lent  himself  as  the  mean  tool  of  what  he  now  saw 
was  wicked,  Jesuitical  trickery— yes,  he  even  used 
this  word— and-  again    embracing   her,   he    said, 
"  Nora,  don't  forget  to  pray  for  your  oldest,  and 
probably  your  wickedest  brother  !  "     So  saying,  he 
took  his  hat,  and  with  a  doubtful,  hesitating  step 
entered  his  carriage  and  moved  away.     From  the 
piazza  Nora  watched  the  receding  vehicle  until  it 
disappeared  in  the  distant  crowds,  and  then  retired 
to  her  room,  doubtless  to  pray.     The  next  day  she 
received  a  note  from  her  brother  containing  some 
very  encouraging  words,  and  inclosing  a  check  of 
a  thousand  dollars.     She  said  she  regarded  both 
the  words  and  the  money  as  blessings  directly  from 
the  Lord,  but  that  the  penitent  and  hopeful  words 
of  her  brother  gave  her  the  greater  joy. 

A  portion  of  our  next  interview  was  consumed 
in  discussing  Nora's  recent  experience.  As  a  kind 
Providence  had  ordered,  our  whole  company  was 
present,  with  the  addition  of  a  young  lay-preacher, 


268 


Spiritual  Struggles. 


ii» 


'¥   ) 


I 


B/r.  I 


by  the  name  of  Theodore,  who  was  here  to  assist 
me  in  extra  meetings.  Consequently  my  study 
was  quite  as  full  of  persons  as  were  our  hearts  of 
interest.  When,  at  last,  the  mind  of  the  party 
turned  to  my  own  narrative,  I  began  as  follows : — 

*' On  the  evening  of  Sunday,  January  15,  1854, 
having  carefully  surveyed  the  grounds  of  my  indi- 
vidual responsibility  to  God,  and  prayerfully  re- 
solved to  do  my  duty,  I  was  induced  for  the  first 
time  to  join  in  prayer  and  exhortation  among 
Protestants.  I  came  forward  from  the  congrega- 
tion to  the  altar  or  anxious  seat,  seeking  the  Lord. 
This  I  did  without  solicitation  from  any  one,  and 
— my  mind  having  been  previously  made  up — as 
a  hungry  man  comes  to  a  savory  meal.  This  was 
one  of  the  greatest  events  of  my  life,  an  important 
step  which  I  have  never  regretted.  However,  I 
have  learned  that  salvation  is  not  dependent  upon 
any  outward  performance,  though  the  act  be  the 
result  of  an  inner  conviction  of  duty.  But  this 
step  identified  me  as  on  the  side  of  the  Lord,  as 
one  not  ashamed  of  him  before  men." 

"  Were  you  converted  that  night  ?  "  inquired 
Johnnie. 

"  I  am  sorry  to  say  I  was  not.  I  was  not  yet 
sufficiently  humbled,  and,  O !  how  ignorant  of 
simple,  saving  faith,  and  of  the  way  to  secure  it! 


The  Altar. 


269 


this 
as 

[red 


One  evening  a  brother  asked  me  to  bear  my  cross 
in  the  meeting,  and  I  was  foolish  enough  to  think 
he  meant  that  I  should  carry  an  actual  cross  of 
wood  or  bone ! 

"And  there  was  a  prejudice  in  my  heart  against 
all  Protestants,  and  especially  against  Methodists, 
which   had   grown  up  and  strengthened  with  my 
years,  besides  a  subtle  pride  of  opinion,  which  it 
was  difficult  to  give  up.     I  found  it  was  one  thing 
to  confess   these  follies   with   the   lips,  and   quite 
another  to  eradicate  them  from  the  heart.     When 
this  barrier  to  my  progress  was  overcome,  another 
presented  itself  in   my  way.     For  now  the  ques- 
tion arose,  as  if  proposed  by  the  Master,  whether 
I  was  willing  to  endure  for  his  sake   the  persecu- 
tion which  I  knew  would  come  upon  me.     I  was 
fully  aware  of  the   feeling  of  contempt  which  my 
old  Catholic  friends  would  entertain   toward  me. 
My  former  experience,   hard   master   that  it  was, 
told  me   all   about   it.     Like   the   Apostle  Paul,  I 
expected  their  hatred  and  scoffs,  their  abuse  and 
perhaps  physical  violence.     How  '  the  fear  of  man 
which  bringeth   a  snare  '  bound  me !     For  some 
time  I  struggled    like  a   captive   with    his  chain. 
And  yet,  who  has  not  felt  this  galling  fetter  ?     To 
secure  by  industry  and  good  behavior  an  unsullied 
reputation  among  my  fellows  had  been  something 


^•1    r    ' 


ft  i    I 


;,n> 


:il 


(»  5 


lii 


270 


Spiritual   Struggles. 


more  than  a  dream  of  my  life.  Now  to  have  my 
name  cast  out  as  evil — to  be  regarded  as  a  turncoat, 
an  apostate,  a  traitor,  a  vagabond — to  be  the  butt 
of  ridicule,  and  the  object  of  religious  anathemas 
from  those  whose  friendship  I  had  so  fully  en 
joyed,  (O !  who  can  bear  the  scorn  of  friends!) 
all  this  was  terribly  trying  to  my  unrenewed  na- 
ture. But  as  I  was  thus  counting  the  cost,  I  was 
enabled  to  submit  by  recalling  the  words  of  Jesus  : 
'  If  any  man  will  come  after  me,  let  him  deny  him- 
self, and  take  up  his  crosL  daily,  and  follow  me.' 
And  like  my  Saviour,  '  who  made  himself  of  no 
reputation,  and  took  upon  him  the  form  of  a  serv- 
ant,' that  he  might  bear  the  sins  and  reproaches 
of  us  all,  I  saw  that  I  must  be  willing  to  en- 
dure the  offense  of  the  cross,  and  be  as  the 
filth  and  offscouring  of  the  world,  for  the  Lord's 
sake." 

"  How  long,"  questioned  Monsieur  G.,  "  did  it 
take  you  to  reach  this  conclusion .''  " 

"As  nearly  as  lean  remember,  it  was  several 
days.  Every  step  I  took  in  advance  was  closely 
contested.  When  one  mountain  peak  was  reached, 
I  saw  before  me  a  still  higher  one  to  be  scaled. 
It  was  like  Alps  on  Alps  piled  up  to  heaven.  Now 
came  the  question  of  separation  from  all  my 
former  friends,  my  brothers  and  sisters,  and  my 


The  Altar. 


271 


dear  mother!     This   seemed   more   than   I  could 
bear. 

"  O  !  "  exclaimed  Luella,  "  ho»'  different  was 
your  lot  from  mine  ;  for  wi.en  I  came  to  Jesus  I 
came  also  to  my  friends  who  were  already  Chris- 
tians And  yet  in  my  heart  I  had  to  give  up  all; 
but  God  gave  all  back  to  me-mi^us  my  sins- 
with  love,  light,  and  heaven  besides." 

"I  was  soon  led  to  see,"  I  continued,  "that  tf  a 
man  love  father,  mother,  etc.,  more  than  Christ,  he 
IS  not  worthy   of  him,   and   that  hence  I  must  be 
willing  to  sever  the   dearest  earthly  ties,  and  wel- 
come.  If  need  be,  the  estate  of  him  whose  enemies 
are   they  of  his   own    household.     But  my  spirit 
struggled  most  and  longest  when  I  contemplated 
the   effect  of  my  course   upon   my  mother,  who 
would  consider  this  a  burning  disgrace  to  the  fam- 
ily name,  and  a  stigma  upon  the  Church  of  mv 
fathers      In  her  view  it  .vas  the  greatest  crime 
which  her  son  could  possibly  commit !     Her  grief 
would  be  greater  than   could   be  caused  by  any 
calamity  that  might  befall  me,  even  death  at  the 
hands  of  an  assassin,  or  on  the  gallows  for  capital 
crime ;  for  to  her  I  was  to  be  as  one  hopelessly 
rumed  for  time  and  eternity!     For  weeks  I  hesi- 
tated  at  this  point,  unwilling  to  tender  so  bitter  a 
cup  to  her  lips.     But  at   length   the   sorrows  of 


272 


oPiKiTUAL  Struggles. 


^1 


I  i^ 


Christ  for  me,  rather  than  those  of  my  friends, 
conquered  me,  and  I  yielded  to  the  voice  of  God. 
Like  Bunyan's  Pilgrim,  I  put,  as  it  were,  my  fingers 
in  my  ears  that  the  clamors  of  the  world  might 
cease  to  affect  me,  and  ran  on,  crying,  *  Life  !  life  ! 
eternal  life  !  '  " 

*'  And  was  not  this  all  the  sacrifice  God  required 
at  your  hands?  "  asked  Johnnie. 

"  Not  exactly.  There  still  remained  the  conse- 
cration of  myself.  Self,  after  all,  is  the  dearest 
idol  we  worship — the  greatest  enemy  to  be  over- 
come. Alexander  the  Great  is  said  to  have  con- 
quered the  world,  and  to  have  wept  that  he  could 
extend  his  conquests  no  farther ;  but  self  con- 
quered and  ruined  him.  How  truly  wise  is  the 
proverb,  that  '  He  that  ruleth  his  spirit  is  better 
than  he  that  taketh  a  city.'  Like  the  Indian  who 
is  represented  as  having  given  up  for  God  first  his 
blanket,  then  his  gun,  afterward  his  dog,  and  last 
of  all  himself,  so  I  had  sacrificed  all  things,  except 
my  will,  to  the  control  of  Jesus.  At  length  I  was 
enabled  to  make  an  unconditional  and  complete 
surrender  to  him  as  my  King,  and  to  count  all 
things,  including  my  poor  self,  *  but  loss  for  the 
excellency  of  the  knowledge  of  Christ  Jesus,  my 
Lord.'  On  the  evenmg  of  March  19,  1854 — 
memorable  epoch  in  my  history  ! — after  two  long 


1% 


II. 


Saving  Faith.  ^y-i 

•nomhs  of  fearful  spiritna,  struggle,,,  „,,i,e  pleading 
vo.  ally  ,n  prayer  meeting  for  the  Divine  blessing 

p::::r  ;:^:::!!'-''^  ^"-^ -''^--- 

•"  But  drops  of  grief  can  ne'er  repay 
The  debt  of  love  I  owe  : 
Here,  Lord,  I  give  myself  avvay,- 
'Tis  all  that  I  can  do.' 

"  Then  as  I  waited,  by  saving  faith  in  the  prom- 
se  of  „,y  Redeemer,   the  pure  light  of  GoS  f^ll 

from  the  opentng  heaven  above  n,e,  and  in  . 
spirit  heard  the  sweet  voice  of  Jesus  say,  'Peace 
be  still-     The  storm  ceased,  and  there  was  a  great' 

the  response  of  my  ransomed  soul,  and   the  song 
has  grown  sweeter  and  sweeter  until  this  day     I 

am  sure  It  will  be  more  glorious  still  in  heav'en 
I  then  praised  the  Lord  aloud,  and  called  on    ve  , 
one  present  to  praise  him.     The  language  of  Z 
psalmist  was  mine:  <Let  every  thing  that  hi 
breath  pratse  the    Lord.'     What  I  received  w 
infinitely  above  what  I  had  asked  or  thought   and 

exulted  in  conscious  and  free  salvatio„.'lhL 
new  for  myself,  and  not  for  another,  that  Jesu  • 

blood  had  w-ashed  away  my  sins.     And,^! 
yearnings  did  my  heart  turn  toward 


what 


my  dear  mother  and   all    my  fri 


18 


my  friends,  that   they 


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Ss 


^/, 


'/ 


/A 


274 


Spiritual   Struggles. 


I   '! 


i^     ' 


too  might  share  with  me  these  hallowed  joys — 
these  richest  gifts  of  heaven." 

".  O!  pray  tell  us,"  anxiously  inquired  Nora, 
"  how  your  mother  received  the  news  of  your  con- 
version, and  what  effect  it  had  upon  her  and  your 
friends." 

"  But,  Nora,  the  story  is  nearly  as  long  as  it  is 
thrilling.  I  have  already  related  much  more  than 
1  contemplated,  when,  on  that  beautiful  Sabbath, 
Luella  asked  me  the  question  which  has  proved 
to  be  the  source  of  so  many  of  our  joys.  But  as 
the  Sabbaths  will  be  too  much  occupied  with  pub- 
lic meetings  to  the  end  of  this  conference  year 
to  permit  us  to  meet  of  an  afternoon,  as  we  have 
been  wont  to  do,  should  I  ever  give  you  the  in- 
formation you  desire,  and  which  I  am  very  willing 
to  impart,  it  must  be  at  some  future  time.  For 
the  present,  as  a  test  for  the  blessings  we  have 
received  from  above,  and  as  the  means  of  their 
growth  and  enlargement,  let  us  go  forth  to  live 
and  work  for  Jesus." 

As  I  uttered  these  words  the  Professor  arose, 
and  in  a  tender  mood  which  drew  tears  from  all 
eyes,  proceeded  to  pronounce  a  brief  valedictory, 
or  farewell  speech,  which  he  had  evidently  pre- 
pared with  much  care  for  the  occasion,  after  which 
he  presented  to   each  one  of  us  an   appropriate 


Saving  Faith.  275 

souvenir,  as  a  memorial  of  our  profitable  gather- 
ings here.     Then  turning  unexpectedly  to  Mon- 
sieur G.  and  Nora,  he  gave  them  each  a  beautiful 
copy  of  the  Holy  Bible,  accompanying  the  gifts 
with  eloquent  remarks,  which  greatly   increased 
our  reverence,  and  deepened  our  love  for  the  Di- 
vme  word.     To  this  Monsieur  G.  attempted    to 
respond,  but  entangled  somewhat  in  bad  English 
as  he  generally  is  when  embarrassed,  and  choking 
with  emotions  of  gratitude,  he   made  short  but 
cordial  work  of  it,  and  our  interview  terminated 
with  his   beautifully  pronounced  and  not  easily 
forgotten  "  Au  revoir." 


THE  END. 


